Let me describe the perfect date: I take her out to a nice dinner. She looks amazing. Some guy tries to hit on her... now he wants to fight- so I grab him- I throw him into the jukebox! Then the other ninja's got a knife, he comes at me, we grapple, I turn his knife on him. Blood on the dance floor. She's scared now. I take her home. I'm holding her in my arms. I reach in for a kiss... I hear something in the leaves, I flip her around, she gets a poison arrow right in her back. She was in on it the whole time... but I knew.
Okay, shhhh stop. Stop whatever you're doing because this is going to be good.
[looking at Dwight buy a purse from Katy, the purse girl]
[imitating Dwight in high-falsetto voice] Hi. My name is Dwight Schrute and I would like to buy a purse from you. Good lord, look at these purses! This is something special. Oh my God. Is this Salvatore Di-chini-asta?
[mimicking Katy] Oh definitely, definitely step in and out of it like that.
Yes, well I want to stress test it. You know, in case anything happens.
Oh! That was really. [Dwight hits purse against table] This is necessary to do to really give it a good workout. This is ooooh... This is the prettiest one of all. I'm going to be the prettiest girl in the ball. Oh, how much?
[in front of Katy to Toby] Toby's divorced. God that's hard. That really ripped you up. She got the kids right? That'll damage ya. Sorry man. That's, uh, quite a bad one. How much are you paying her? What can- you can't even afford anything now right? You're alright though, right? Don't ask me for a raise! ...oh cup-a-soup's a good idea though. That's a good budgetary thing to do.
It's just a snack.
Well they're good snacks, they're good food. Good meals. Good lunch. ...you still sleepin' in the car?
Because he slept in the car a couple times.
Just the once.
Are you still taking the anti-depressants? It's a good idea. Because it'll help! It'll help man.
I'm gonna go back to my table.
Okay. I'll see you in a bit! [pauses] She's pretty cute isn't she? ...see you in a bit!
I do read Small Businessman. I also subscribe to USA Today and American Way magazine. That's the in-flight magazine. Some great articles in that. They did this great profile last month of Doris Roberts and where she likes to eat when she's in Phoenix. Illuminating.
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