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[in broken English, with subtitles] In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But, mistake! Yakuza boss die. Yakuza very mad. I hide in fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car, and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret: I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk. And I learn. I absorb information, from the strategies of winners. And the losers! Actually I probably learn more from the losers.
Hey! You embarrassed my friends in front of me and I'm gonna need you to go back over to the table and apologize.
Then I am sorry... That I didn't kick you out!
I am here with my employees. I am here on a date. [waving across the bar] Hello!
Well, uh, I'm the manager here, sir--
Well it just so happens that I'm a manager too. And the way I manage people is that I touch their hearts. And souls, with humor, with love. And maybe a dash of razzle dazzle! And I don't see that from you.
Is that how you do it?
Yes it is. I am writing a book about it.
Really, how much have you written.
I've written all of it. [pause] In my head. If you're really interested, it is called Somehow I Manage, and it is going to be a picture of me on the cover, shrugging, with my sleeves rolled up.
Huh. Have you read Lee Iacocca's? It's a classic.
Read it? Own it! But no, I have not read it.
Dude! Tonight. You're not gonna wanna put it down, it's gonna make you wanna go out and buy a Chrysler tomorrow.
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