Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office
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| Pam Beesly: | Oh, also, Michael went to Jamaica with Jan. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, how have we not talked about this already? I mean what happened there? Kidnapping? |
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| Michael Scott: | And then, I think I am going to go to the garlic festival. |
| Jim Halpert: | Wow. |
| Michael Scott: | Sounds like fun. You guys would love it. They have a TCBY booth! Same stuff you get downtown. Do you like TCBY? |
| Jim Halpert: | Who doesn't? |
| Michael Scott: | "I can't believe it's... I can't believe it's yogurt." |
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| Jim Halpert: | [after Dwight's stapler was put in Jello] Dwight, I'm sorry because, I've always been your biggest flan. |
| Michael Scott: | [laughing] Oh! Nice! See, that's the way it is around here. It just kinda goes round and round. |
| Ryan: | You, uh, you should have put him in custardy. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh! HEY! HEY! YES! NEW GUY! AND HE SCORES! |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Don't tell Michael. |
| Jim Halpert: | I won't. But you will wash and buff our car. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Punishment fits the crime, I accept. |
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| Michael Scott: | How long have you known about the pregnancy? A week? A month? A year? |
| Jim Halpert: | Michael we only told our parents last week. |
| Michael Scott: | Did you pee on a stick? |
| Jim Halpert: | I did. It was inconclusive. |
| Michael Scott: | You should've told me. |
| Pam Beesly: | You're right. We should have realize that you are an equal part in this. |
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| Jim Halpert: | So, if you touch a peanut, you don't die or go into shock or anything? |
| Deangelo: | No, Jim. Not everything is life and death. I want to be comfortable. |
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| Oscar: | Kevin and I play this paper football game when Michael's out. |
| Kevin: | Or when we're bored. |
| Jim Halpert: | [uncovers the score-keeping sheet] Oh my God! Wait, this goes back two years. |
| Kevin: | We're bored a lot. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Hey Pam... I think that's empty. |
| Pam Beesly: | No, 'cause the ice melts and then it's like... second drink! |
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| Jim Halpert: | So apparently Pam went out last night. And accidentally called my work phone at three in the morning, so... I'm on minute six of this message. [hangs up phone] The future mother of my children. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Uh, knock please. Please knock. This is an office. |
| Jim Halpert: | [points to sign] It says 'workspace'. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Same thing. |
| Jim Halpert: | If it's the same thing then why'd you write 'workspace'? |
| Dwight Schrute: | [pauses] Just knock, please. Okay? A sign of respect for a superior. |
| Jim Halpert: | You are not my superior. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Oh gee, then why do I have an office? |
| Jim Halpert: | I thought it was a workspace. |
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| Jim Halpert: | [after Jim paired his headset with Dwight's cell phone] Hello this is Dwight. |
| Pam Beesly: | [over the phone] Hello is this Dwight? |
| Jim Halpert: | Yes it is. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh my goodness you sound sexy. |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh, thank you. I've been working out. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Woah woah woah! Pam! Pam! You are not talking to Dwight right now. You are talking to Jim. |
| Pam Beesly: | [into phone] Dwight? |
| Dwight Schrute: | No! [waving] I'm over here! |
| Pam Beesly: | I'm confused. |
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| Salesman: | How about I make an appointment to come back, that way I know he'll be here. |
| Pam Beesly: | That is a great idea. Umm... [looking through calendar] Oh boy... he's really.... |
| Jim Halpert: | Mmmmichael Scott, manager, hi how are ya? Nice to meet you. |
| Pam Beesly: | There he is! |
| Salesman: | Oh hey, great, look at that. |
| Jim Halpert: | Whew, I can assure you we don't need a new system though, happy with ours. |
| Michael Scott: | [enters] Hello, may I help you? |
| Jim Halpert: | [addresses Michael] Jimbo! |
| Michael Scott: | [smiles] Jim... |
| Jim Halpert: | Aaayyyyyyyyy! |
| Michael Scott: | [beat] Aaaayyyyyyy! |
| Pam, Jim, Michael: | Aaaaaaayyyyyyy [Dwight runs up and joins in] Aaaaaayyyyyy! |
| Salesman: | K. I'm uh, I'm gonna be going. [leaves] |
| Pam, Jim, Michael, Dwight: | Aaaaaayyyyyyyy! |
| Michael Scott: | [laughing] What was that? |
| Pam Beesly: | That was funny. |
| Michael Scott: | That was funny, let's go do it to somebody else. |