Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office
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| Pam Beesly: | What's the news? |
| Jim Halpert: | Nothing yet. |
| Pam Beesly: | Well I guess that's not- |
| Jim Halpert: | Well there is some bad news... [accent] There has been another murder. |
| Michael Scott: | Another murder, you say? I do declare. |
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| Andy: | So, Tunes, you still gonna buy your old man's place? |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, I am. Wait. How do you know that I didn't tell you that. |
| Andy: | Uhhh. No, I was just walking by your desk, saw some email. [points to his eyes] I got peepers of an eagle. |
| Jim Halpert: | That's really not cool. [Andy makes a bird noise] |
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| Kelly: | You know what Dwight? You need to go back there and you need to Pretty Woman their asses. |
| Creed: | We should start our own mall! |
| Erin: | Yeah! |
| Jim Halpert: | Wait wait wait actually that's a really good idea Kelly. |
| Kelly: | What did I say. |
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| Andy Bernard | Cindy! Cindy! I want you to close your eyes and picture your dream house... C'mon! Do it for Michael - he's had a really long day... |
| Michael Scott | Ha, ha, ha... I don't know what he's doing... |
| Dwight Schrute | [Yelling from other end of table] Jim! Jim! Wha-... what's happening? |
| Jim Halpert | Oh [points at Cindy] She's asleep... |
| Dwight Schrute | Ah - narcolepsy... |
| Jim Halpert | Probably... |
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| Karen: | I'm not stupid. Okay? I was at the beach. We don't have a future in Scranton. There's one too many people there. |
| Jim Halpert: | You mean Kevin? |
| Karen: | Exactly. |
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| Jim Halpert: | So as it turns out, unless you're a young child or a prison inmate, you don't need anyone supervising you. People just come in and do their work on their schedule. Imagine that. People like us allowed to sell paper. Unsupervised. And yet, somehow it works. It must be because the stakes are so high. |
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| Karen: | Do you still have feelings for her? |
| Jim Halpert: | ...Yes. |
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| Andy: | ...piece of that Chry-sler car. |
| Jim Halpert: | No. |
| Andy: | Foot-ball cream. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay. It's football cream. It's football cream. |
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| Mr. McGuire: | Let's make it interesting, say, uh, ten bucks a hole? |
| Jim Halpert: | Great. |
| Kevin: | What are we talking? Skins? Acee Deucee? Bingo Bango Bongo? Sandies? Barkies? Wolf? What? |
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| Pam Beesly: | This is the best burger I've ever had, babe. |
| Jim Halpert: | Babe, I should have told you but, I did something bad. |
| Pam Beesly: | Mm? |
| Jim Halpert: | I stole this. [holds up Hunter's CD] For you, babe. |
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| Jim Halpert: | And my roommate wants to meet everybody. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. He is very real. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | [to Jim] What is that, what are you supposed to be? |
| Jim Halpert: | I'm three hole punch version of Jim. Because you can have me either way: plain white Jim, or three whole punch. |
| Phyllis: | That's great. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Yeah well look. What about me? |
| Phyllis: | What are you, a monk? |
| Dwight Schrute: | I am a Sith Lord... [Phyllis looks unimpressed] Oh big deal, three round pieces of paper taped to a shirt, this cost me 129 dollars! |