Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: [comes into Jim's office using accent] Deb, what in the world - do you have the vapors?
Jim Halpert: Michael, not now.
Michael Scott: Can't wait, we have to get you to our witch doctor right now. Come on. Come on.
Pam Beasley: I should just go. [accent] Where to now Caleb?
Michael Scott: To Mama Juju Boo Boo.
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[the office is gathered around Stanley's computer, all talking at once about Hilary Swank]
Kevin: Not at all.
Creed: She's cute.
Meredith: She's got mean eyes.
Pam Beesly: [walking over] Have you seen her with her bangs?
Kevin: She looks like a monster.
Jim Halpert: Guys, she is a beautiful movie star. So, maybe we could just, go to work.
Meredith: She is an amazing actress.
Kevin: That's not the question.
Phyllis: She's not hot.
Kevin: Yeah! Thank you Phyllis.
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Jim Halpert: Hey, Dwight, send in the subs!
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Andy: What if we changed our outgoing answering machine message so it just has a little more zing and a little more pep.
Michael Scott: Zing and pep. See that's- those are the kind of words we're looking for. Yes Jim.
Jim Halpert: What about if we did an even newer voicemail message that had even more zing and pep.
Michael Scott: Now we're thinking. I like this.
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[after Michael returns to the bar]
Jim Halpert: Everything ok?
Pam Halpert: Why are you wearing a hat now?
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Pam Beesly [Pats pregnant belly] Right here, little Michael Scott.
Jim Halpert Nope... Told you I don't like that joke.
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Jim Halpert: Oh how rude of me. Have you seen Pam's new art? [pointing behind camera] It's right there, check it out. [closes door]
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Michael Scott: Alright you know what? That's it. Conference room, five minutes. Women's appreciation.
Jim Halpert: Wait a second, how are you qualified for that?
Michael Scott: Oh, I donno, James, did I come from a women? Have I slept with a woman? More than one?
Dwight Schrute: Less than three.
Michael Scott: That is not current.
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Jim Halpert: Alright so I'll finish up on bulk pricing and then you go into delivery guarantee.
Pam Halpert: You know maybe there's an opportunity for a joke there. Like um, like, "I just delivered a baby. They didn't offer me a guarantee!"
Jim Halpert: Yeah or maybe we don't even need that.
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Pam Beesley: Um hey. I need to give you your Christmas gift now, because um...well I'll just tell you.
Jim Halpert: What?
Pam Beesley: For the past few months I've been sending Dwight letters from the CIA.
Jim Halpert: Are you serious?
Pam Beesley: They're considering him for a top secret mission. There's his application and this is where I made him list every secret he promised he'd never ever tell.
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Pam Beesly: [placing a coke can in front of Jim] Here. [Jim looks confused] Just buy it from me. I haven't talked to you in hours and it's been weird and I really want to know what the hell's going on with Dwight. [Pam scoots the coke can towards Jim. Jim pulls out his wallet and hands Pam a dollar. He gives the coke back to Pam]
Jim Halpert: Hi.
Pam Beesly: Hey.
Jim Halpert: How much time do you have left on your break?
Pam Beesly: Ten minutes.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Jim Halpert: Was that your mom?
Dwight Schrute: No, that was my sensei.
Jim Halpert: Oh, I thought that was your mom.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons