Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

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Dwight Schrute: Who is Justice Beaver?
Jim Halpert: A crime fighting beaver.
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Jim Halpert: He obviously forgot to get me something, and then he went in his closet and dug out this little number [holds up way-too-short sleeves] and then threw it in a bag.
Creed Bratton: [cut to Creed's talking head] Yep. That's exactly what happened.
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Pam Beesly: Oh, also, Michael went to Jamaica with Jan.
Jim Halpert: Yeah, how have we not talked about this already? I mean what happened there? Kidnapping?
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Dwight Schrute Put the pizza in my mouth.
Jim Halpert I assure you, that will not increase the pleasure--
Dwight Schrute --Oh. I try me.
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Jim Halpert: Those reports affect our bonuses, which is kind of great for me, because you wouldn't know from looking at her, but Pam's a gold digger.
Pam Beesly: [over Jim's bluetooth] Hey, New York ain't free! Get back to work!
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Jim Halpert: Angela, burger? Dog? Havin' fun?
Angela: I got sap on me.
Jim Halpert: Chicken, hot dog, burger?
Angela: I'm a vegetarian.
Jim: There's soda inside.
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Jim Halpert: So apparently Pam went out last night. And accidentally called my work phone at three in the morning, so... I'm on minute six of this message. [hangs up phone] The future mother of my children.
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Pam Beesly: You came up to my desk and you said, 'this might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat is expired.'
Jim Halpert: That was the moment that you knew you liked me.
Pam Beesly: Yep.
Jim Halpert: Wow. Can we make it a different moment?
Pam Beesly: Nope.
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Ryan Howard: Hey. You're looking for me?
Pam Halpert: Oh, yeah, we were. We were just looking to say hi. So hey.
Ryan Howard: No you weren't.
Pam Beesly: No we weren't.
Ryan Howard: You wanted to have sex in my office.
Pam Halpert: No.
Jim Halpert: Definitely not. That's disgusting.
Ryan Howard: No. It's... it's cool. Just try to put everything back were you found it. Text me when you're finished. I'll be out here.
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Karen: I'm not stupid. Okay? I was at the beach. We don't have a future in Scranton. There's one too many people there.
Jim Halpert: You mean Kevin?
Karen: Exactly.
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Pam Beesly: We wrote a good review. Under comments, we wrote: the natural aroma of the beets drifts into the bedrooms and makes you dream of simpler times.
Jim Halpert: The dawn goosewalk will tug at your heartstrings.
Pam Beesly: Tablemaking never seemed so possible.
Jim Halpert: You will never want to leave your room.
Pam Beesly: The architecture reminds one of a quant Tuscan beet farm.
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Jim Halpert: Hey crazy. Um, so. That's it? You're just--you're fine?
Dwight Schrute: It's after five Jim. I'm not gonna take this home. [reaches out to shake Danny's hand] Pleasure.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons