Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office
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| Jim Halpert: | [quickly] I walked in on someone in the bathroom. |
| Pam Beesly: | What? |
| Jim Halpert: | I just walked in on someone in the bathroom. |
| Pam Beesly: | Who? |
| Jim Halpert: | I donno. |
| Pam Beesly: | The-- |
| Jim Halpert: | I donno. |
| Pam Beesly: | The guy we're meeting with? |
| Jim Halpert: | I donno. I donno. |
| [Jim pulls Pam away] |
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| Andy: | You can't let a girl feel good about herself. It will backfire on you. Every compliment has to be backhanded. Oh I like your dress, but I'd like it better if you had prettier hair. |
| Pam Beesly: | That's psychotic. [pause] Do guys actually do that? |
| Jim Halpert: | Well guys with girlfriends don't. |
| Andy: | That's low, Tuna. |
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| Michael Scott: | And then, I think I am going to go to the garlic festival. |
| Jim Halpert: | Wow. |
| Michael Scott: | Sounds like fun. You guys would love it. They have a TCBY booth! Same stuff you get downtown. Do you like TCBY? |
| Jim Halpert: | Who doesn't? |
| Michael Scott: | "I can't believe it's... I can't believe it's yogurt." |
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| Jim Halpert: | Hey, Ryan, it's Jim. Look man I don't know what happening to you lately but you know what? I really don't care because you're trying to get rid of me and I bet you think I don't care enough about this job to actually fight back but you're wrong because I do and I will. So you can keep trying to push me out of this place but guess what. I'm not going anywhere. |
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| Michael Scott: | [talking loudly on his cell phone] Uh huh, well if he doesn't like it, he can tell that SOB that he is fired. Sorry I'm going into a meeting right now. I love you too. Bye. |
| Jim Halpert: | Who was that? |
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| Pam Halpert: | Michael, she's perfect for you. |
| Oscar: | She's the one. |
| Jim Halpert: | She's amazing. This is very exciting. |
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| Roy: | Hey, Jimmy, what do you think about the purse girl? |
| Jim Halpert: | Cute, sure, yeah. |
| Roy: | Why don't you get on that? |
| Jim Halpert: | She's not really my type. |
| Roy: | What are you, gay? |
| Jim Halpert: | Mmm. I don't think so. No. |
| Kevin: | Well what is your type? |
| Jim Halpert: | Moms, primarily. Yep, soccer moms, single moms, NASCAR moms, any type of mom really. |
| Roy: | That's disgusting. |
| Kevin: | Stay away from my mom. |
| Jim Halpert: | Too late, Kev. |
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| Jim Halpert: | So if you can believe it, I did it without a Realtor. So saving on closing costs is good. And, uh, we can put all the money to de-shag the carpet. [clears throat] Which I think will help... with the color situation. [joins Pam looking at the creepy clown art] Yeah. I am really sorry about this. I tried to move it but, she is really nailed in there. Worried about art theft I guess. A lot of art thieves in this neighborhood. [Pam moves onto another bedroom] This is the master bedroom, but [closes door] I'm not actually allowed in here, so. |
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| Ryan: | [referring to Kelly] What did she say? |
| Jim Halpert: | She said lots of things. |
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| Michael Scott: | She's dead? But she's so young. |
| Dwight Schrute: | She was so young and now she is dead. As dead as every dead animal that has ever died. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh my God. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Why don't you sit down Michael. [helps Michael into his chair] There we go. |
| Jim Halpert: | Michael you didn't even know her. |
| Michael Scott: | Try not to be so hurtful, Jim. Please, not at a time like this. |
| [Jim looks over at Pam who is shaking her head] |
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| Jim Halpert: | So you're not doing it. |
| Pam Beesly: | How did you know? |
| Jim Halpert: | Why not? |
| Pam Beesly: | Just, like, no big reason. Just a bunch of little reasons. Roy's right there's no guarantee it's going to lead to anything anyway. |
| Jim Halpert: | Roy said that. |
| Pam Beesly: | What. You have something you wanna say? |
| Jim Halpert: | You gotta take a chance on something sometime Pam. I mean do you wanna be a receptionist here always? |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh excuse me! I'm fine with my choices! |
| Jim Halpert: | You are? |
| Pam Beesly: | Yeah. |
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| Pam Beesly: | It's getting kind of rowdy down there. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, 'Darryl! Darryl! Darryl!' |
| Pam Beesly: | Sometimes I just don't get Roy... I mean I donno... so... what's it like dating a cheerleader? |
| Jim Halpert: | Well... um. |
| [awkward silence] |