Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office
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| Dwight Schrute: | Fact, I am older, I am wiser. Do not mess with me. |
| Jim Halpert: | [staring at Dwight's forehead] Okay. Sounds good. |
| Dwight Schrute: | What are you doing? |
| Jim Halpert: | I don't know what you're talking about. |
| Diwght Schrute: | Do I have sweat on my forehead? |
| Jim Halpert: | No. Nothing. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Why are you looking at my forehead? |
| Jim Halpert: | I'm not. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Meet my eyeline, Jim. |
| Jim Halpert: | I am. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Stop acting like an idiot. |
| Jim Halpert: | Okay. |
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| Darryl: | I probably shouldn't tell you this but, a lot of guys in the warehouse work multiple jobs so, we have a place. |
| Jim Halpert: | A place? |
| Darryl: | A restful location. Talk to Glenn, he'll take you up on the lift. |
| Pam Halpert: | You sleep in the warehouse? |
| Darryl: | Lightbulb's burnt out so it's dark. And the, heat from the backup generator keeps it nice and warm. Sometimes I think about it when I'm trying to fall asleep at home. |
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| Jim Halpert: | You okay? |
| Dwight Schrute: | I am better than you have ever been and ever will be. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Well we're all getting excited to see this fight. The Albany Branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing, but Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour so that we all could go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight... FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT- I'm comin'- FIGHT! |
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| [Pam clutching her chest in pain] | |
| Jim Halpert: | What's up? |
| Dwight Shrute: | Hey milk is coming in she's getting uncomfortable. |
| Jim Halpert: | Dwight don't be gross. |
| Pam Halpert: | No, no he's right. |
| Dwight Shrute: | Same things happens to my cows if I don't tend them frequently enough. You gotta milk 'em. Or else they'll moo like crazy. |
| Pam Halpert: | That's weird my breast pump's missing. [to Jim] Have you seen my breast pump? |
| Dwight Shrute: | [taking off his suit jacket and pumping hand sanitizer] Ok, this is going to traumatize me a hell of a lot more than you believe me. |
| Pam Halpert: | You know what Dwight? Let me just check the bathroom first. 'K? |
| Dwight Shrute: | Really? Fine. Let your breasts explode. Three squeezes, and I would drain you. |
| Pam Halpert: | Mmmm. |
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| Jim Halpert: | I guess he can't get any girl he wants. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, I'm sorry. I looked away for a second and Creed snatched your hashbrowns. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Dwight tried to kiss me. |
| Michael Scott: | What? |
| Jim Halpert: | And I didn't tell anyone because I'm not really sure how I feel about it. |
| Dwight Schrute: | That is not true. Redact it. Redact it! |
| Jim Halpert: | Well, I'm not actually making a formal complaint. I just really think we should talk about it. |
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| Michael Scott: | I'm looking for the toy drive box. |
| Pam Beesley: | It's behind you. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay, well, I need to put this bike in there. I hope it will fit with all these little knick knacks. |
| Jim Halpert: | Wow. What kind of bike is that? |
| Michael Scott: | Um, I dunno. Average kind. |
| Kevin: | The tires look pretty worn. |
| Michael Scott: | Well that is probably from the test drive. |
| Jim Halpert: | But the paints chipping. Is that your old bike Michael? |
| Michael Scott: | No... |
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| Pam Beesly: | Heading out? |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah. Alright Beesly, happy Valentine's Day. |
| Pam Beesly: | Bye. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Kelly's trash talking me because Darryl's beating you. |
| Jim Halpert: | What? Seriously? What's she saying. |
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| [naming teams] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Okay. We will be Voldemort. |
| Dwight Schrute: | He-who-must-not-be-named? I wouldn't do that. |
| Jim Halpert: | [chanting with team] Vol-de-mort! Vol-de-mort! Vol-de-mort! Vol-de-mort-- |
| Dwight Schrute: | Ok, seriously. You really shouldn't be saying that. Please, please, please. |
