Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office
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| Jim Halpert: | Aaaand that is why we waited so long to tell people. |
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| Michael Scott: | You know what eats a large amount of the day are naps. You go to sleep it's light out, you wake up it's dark. That's the whole day. Where did that day go? I have no idea. |
| Jim Halpert: | You mean on a weekend. |
| [awkward pause] | |
| Michael Scott: | Yes. |
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| Jim Halpert: | What a night... |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah, well. Good for you, your friend got engaged. |
| Jim Halpert: | She was already engaged. |
| Michael Scott: | Roy said the first one didn't count. |
| Jim Halpert: | That's... great. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Oh don't get us wrong, we like picnics. |
| Jim Halpert: | Come on, who doesn't like a picnic. |
| Pam Beesly: | Tell 'em what happened last year. |
| Jim Halpert: | I had this huge spider in my baseball mitt-- |
| Pam Beesly: | No, no, the guy who hit on me. |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh right, some drunk guy hit on Pam... said he was "grabbing her for balance." |
| Pam Beesly: | Yeah. You don't grab /these/ for balance. |
| Jim Halpert: | Well.. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Wow it's a little early for ice cream don't you think? |
| Michael Scott: | It's never too early for ice cream, Jim. But we didn't have any ice cream, so this is mayonnaise and black olives. |
| Jim and Pam: | [scream out of disgust] |
| Michael Scott: | It's comfort food, alright? |
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| Jim Halpert: | Hi, yeah, can I talk to one of your travel agents? Where do I want to go, um, that is an excellent question- One I probably should have thought of before I called you. |
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| Andy: | Big idea. Double wedding. Me, Angela, you, Holly. |
| Michael Scott: | No, we would never do that, and if we did it would be with Jim and Pam. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, we'd never do that. |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah, so there you go. |
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| Jim Halpert: | [to Andy playing the Moroccan guitar] Hey. |
| Andy: | What's up? |
| Jim Halpert: | You take requests? |
| Andy: | Sure. |
| Jim Halpert: | Please stop. Because we're, having a Christmas party. [walks away] |
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| Dwight Schrute: | [to Jim] What is that, what are you supposed to be? |
| Jim Halpert: | I'm three hole punch version of Jim. Because you can have me either way: plain white Jim, or three whole punch. |
| Phyllis: | That's great. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Yeah well look. What about me? |
| Phyllis: | What are you, a monk? |
| Dwight Schrute: | I am a Sith Lord... [Phyllis looks unimpressed] Oh big deal, three round pieces of paper taped to a shirt, this cost me 129 dollars! |
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| Pam Beasley: | So I closed the door, but the image of his... |
| Jim Halpert: | Baguette? |
| Pam Beasley: | ...dangling participle... |
| Jim Halpert: | Eww... |
| Pam Beasley: | ...still... burned... in my eyes... |
| Jim Halpert: | I can imagine... |
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| [reading Michael's screenplay] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Catherine Zeta-Jones enters. |
| Phyllis: | Sir you have some messages. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Not now! |
| Phyllis: | They're important. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Okay, what are they? |
| Phyllis: | The first message is, 'I love you.' That's from me. |
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| Karen: | So, we have all night, where do you wanna go first? |
| Jim Halpert: | I donno. How 'bout the U.N.? |
| Karen: | How often do you come here? |
| Jim Halpert: | Um, everytime my sixth grade class goes on a field trip. |
| Karen: | Well I think you're really going to enjoy this, adult Jim. |