Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
4
likes
Jim Halpert: Hey, Mike.
Michael Scott: Hey, Jim Bag.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
8
likes
Dwight Shrute: What the hell is this? This is not Megadesk.
Jim Halpert: Oh! No, it's not. They call it Quad-desk.
Dwight Shrute: That's ridiculous, this is made up of three desks.
Jim Halpert: Oh my God. We're gonna have to rename it then aren't we.
Dwight Shrute: [answering ringing phone underneath the desks] Hello Dwight Schrute?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
11
likes
Kelly: Oh my God. I have so much to tell you!
Jim Halpert: Really?
Kelly: Yes! Tom Cruise and Kakie Holmes, they had a baby and they named it Suri and then Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, they had a baby too and they named it Shylo and both babies are amazing!
Jim Halpert: Great. What's new with you?
Kelly: I just told you.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
49
likes
Michael Scott: What do I put for 'Reason for visit'?
Jim Halpert: Concussion.
[Michael crosses something off]
Jim Halpert: What did you write?
Michael Scott: Nothing... I wrote, 'Bringing someone to the hospital.'
Jim Halpert: So, you thought it meant your reason for visit.
Michael Scott: No, Jim- this isn't about me anymore.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
23
likes
Jim Halpert: Truce?
Pam Beesly: Yeah, I guess, since I won.
Jim Halpert: You did win. You did win. Anyway, I'm going to need three copies of each of these, stapled and collated. [starts walking away then turns and comes back] Totally kidding... [leans in close as if to kiss Pam] I'm going to need four. [kisses Pam]
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
6
likes
Dwight Schrute: [yelling at Kelly] What did you learn in there? I bet you learned things, huh. Like how to fashion a shiv. Hmm?
Jim Halpert: Hey, what the hell's going on?
Dwight Schrute: Why don't you tell Jim where you were from age fourteen to fifteen.
Kelly: I was kickin' it.
Dwight Schrute: In juvie.
Jim Halpert: What?
Dwight Schrute: Juvie. Nile. Detention center. Where they send teenagers!
Jim Halpert: Yep.
Dwight Schrute: For re--
Jim Halpert: Got it.
Dwight Schrute: [to Kelly] What did you do?
Jim Halpert: Dwight? Sounds like she was fourteen so maybe you wanna go a little easy.
Dwight Schrute: If she's old enough to get married, she's old enough to follow the law. What did you do!
Kelly: My boyfriend dumped me. So I stole his boat. I mean he told me it was his boat it was actually his father's. I just thought it would be really romantic, like Thelma and Louise, but with like a boat. And it was, the worst year of my life and I can't believe that you guys are making me talk about this on my birthday!
Dwight Schrute: I thought you said yesterday was your birthday!
Jim Halpert: Hey! You know what? I... got you a cake!
Kelly: [happy all of a sudden] You did? I wanna see the cake.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
1
likes
Michael Scott: [handing Jim a cup] Jim, check that out
Jim Halpert: What is it?
Michael Scott: That is vodka, and I mixed it with orange juice. I call it an orange vod-juice...ka.
Jim Halpert: [takes a sip] Wow that is delicious.
Michael Scott: Yeah!
Jim Halpert: I can't believe no one has thought of that.
Michael Scott: I know!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
19
likes
Jim Halpert: I gotta make an example out of him. Should I just fire him?
Pam Beesly: Can you actually fire people?
Jim Halpert: To be honest I don't know. But maybe I could just yell at him in front of people.
Pam Beesly: Well, I can't really imagine you yelling at anyone.
Jim Halpert: Oh I yell. You've heard me yell.
Pam Beesly: Oh okay. I've heard you exclaim? Like, the time you said, "Hey look! We parked over here!"
Jim Halpert: Well that was apple-picking day. There was no need to yell that day. You know I was just excited to find the car. Perfect end to a perfect day.
Pam Beesly: Well. You'll figure it out.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
7
likes
Jim Halpert: When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way, right?
Michael Scott: You're a Jet?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
25
likes
Jim Halpert: Oh my God. Now she's up and she's trying to describe how to correctly butcher a goose, but she's having trouble coming up with it.
Dwight Schrute: Ok. Cindy. Yo! Cindy, Cindy! Hold its neck back, insert the knife beneath the jaw, bring it all the way around. There's gonna be a good amount of blood. But don't let that bother you. Have a bucket there. For the blood, and the innards and the feathers.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
26
likes
Dwight Schrute: Fact, I am older, I am wiser. Do not mess with me.
Jim Halpert: [staring at Dwight's forehead] Okay. Sounds good.
Dwight Schrute: What are you doing?
Jim Halpert: I don't know what you're talking about.
Diwght Schrute: Do I have sweat on my forehead?
Jim Halpert: No. Nothing.
Dwight Schrute: Why are you looking at my forehead?
Jim Halpert: I'm not.
Dwight Schrute: Meet my eyeline, Jim.
Jim Halpert: I am.
Dwight Schrute: Stop acting like an idiot.
Jim Halpert: Okay.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
30
likes
Michael Scott: I'm like Superman and the people who work here are like the citizens of Gotham City.
Jim and Dwight: That's Batman.
Michael Scott: Okay, fine, I'll be Aquaman. Where does he live?
Jim Halpert: The ocean.
Michael Scott: I work with a bunch of nerds!
Next Page of Jim Halpert quotes
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons