Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

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Jim Halpert: What a night...
Michael Scott: Yeah, well. Good for you, your friend got engaged.
Jim Halpert: She was already engaged.
Michael Scott: Roy said the first one didn't count.
Jim Halpert: That's... great.
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[Dwight throws Jim's cell phone out the window]
Jim Halpert: Are you kidding me!?
Dwight Schrute: No communication with the outside world, Jim!
Michael Scott: It had to be done.
Jim Halpert: Well, that kind of sucks. Because it had all the photos of my brother's new baby on it.
Dwight Schrute: That is too bad. Shoot.
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Jim Halpert: Quick question, why is Tom Hanks on the wall?
Ryan: Twice.
Michael Scott: Good question. Forest Gump, mentally challenged. Philadelphia, AIDS.
Kevin: I think that's from Big.
Michael Scott: I don't think so, no.
Kelly: Yeah, he's dancing on a piano with Robert Loggia.
Michael Scott: He grew into a man overnight. Rare disability, still works.
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Michael Scott: Energize!
Jim Halpert: [whispering] You know what would energize me? If you, Pamela Morgan Beesly...
Pam Beesly: Don't. Don't you dare.
Jim Halpert: would take....
Pam Beesly: If you purpose to me during a Michael meeting, I would say no.
Jim Halpert: Well, it’s too late because... I am purposing that you get me a cup of coffee, which would energize me greatly, making me the happiest man in the world.
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Dwight Schrute: Who stands to benefit from our downfall?
Jim Halpert: The Mob? Maybe NASA?
Dwight Schrute: Could be the mob. But then Dunder Mifflin would need to be a front for money laundering and there is little evidence of that.
Jim Halpert: Is there some evidence of that?
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Jim Halpert: I just spent two hours listening to Michael Clump. I have a pain in my side that I'm pretty sure is an ulcer. My girlfriend's in New York, and I haven't seen her in 10 days. How's your summer?
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Andy Bernard: We have such a roller coaster thing, Karen and I.
Jim Halpert: Excuse me?
Andy Bernard: Roller coastery friendship. Hot, cold, on-again, off-again, sexual tension-filled type of deal. It's very Sam and Diane.
Jim Halpert: Wow.
Andy Bernard: From Cheers.
Jim Halpert: Yep.
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Michael Scott: Let's go to New York. We'll go clubbing with Ryan.
Jim Halpert: I can't.
Michael Scott: Yes you can! You're single I'm single. It'll be awesome.
Jim Halpert: I'm not single.
Michael Scott: Who are you dating?
Jim Halpert: Pam.
Michael Scott: That's still going on?
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Michael Scott: [Needing to find a place to stay] Jim? Pam?
Jim Halpert: Oh, my apartment's on fire.
Pam Beasley: [Whispers] Flooded.
Jim Halpert: Flooded.
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Jim Halpert: I gotta tell you this baby is amazing. She, gets me out of everything... And I--and I love her. I also love her very much.
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Jim Halpert: As ranking number two, I am starting the 'Committee to determine the validity of the two committees.' I am the sole member. The committee will act on this now.
Dwight Schrute: Okay this is stupid.
Jim Halpert: Could you please keep it down? I'm in session. [pause] I have determined that this committee is valid.
Dwight Schrute: What? No, no, wait, wait, wait. Permission to join the validity committee.
[long pause]
Jim Halpert: Permission denied.
Dwight Schrute: Dammit.
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Andy: Oh my god!
Jim Halpert: Oh MY god.
Andy: I had no idea!
Jim Halpert: Well. That's not going to hold up in court.
Andy: We didn't do anything illegal-- Except knock over that mail box with her friends...
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