Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
1
likes
Jim Halpert: Are you kidding?
Dwight Schrute: Well I'm not done yet.
Jim Halpert: Dwight, this, fits in the palm of my hand. You haven't blown them up enough. Why have you chosen brown and gray balloons?
Dwight Schrute: They match the carpet.
Jim Halpert: What is that? [points to Dwight's banner] "It is your birthday" period.
Dwight Schrute: It's a statement of fact.
Jim Halpert: Not even an exclamation point?
Dwight Schrute This is more professional! It's not like she discovered a cure for cancer!
Jim Halpert: I can't believe how bad this looks.
Dwight Schrute: Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because if so, you are succeeding. Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man's.
Jim Halpert: Ok, good then.
Dwight Schrute: Have you collected the money from everyone?
Jim Halpert: I am working on it.
Dwight Schrute: How much do you have?
Jim Halpert: Six dollars.
Dwight Schrute: That's how much you and I contributed! Damn it Jim!
Jim Halpert: [to camera] I said I was working on it.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
8
likes
Pam Beesly: We could get DeAngelo flowers.
Dwight Schrute: No, you can't get flowers for someone who's in a coma. They'll wilt before he wakes up.
[Everybody agrees] Yeah. That's true.
Jim Halpert: All in favor of the baskets, full of chocolates, teddy bears, and balloons. [Raises hand]
[Oscar, Phyllis, Angela, Jim, and Pam raise their hand]
Dwight Schrute: Wait, wait. All in favor with canned goods, chainsaw, gasoline, and emergency radio incase he wakes up post-apocolypse...
[Dwight's the only one who raises his hand]
Jim Halpert: Nope. Baskets have it.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
17
likes
Jim Halpert: Would you do me a favor and get my Ryan?
Pam Beesley: Absolutely. [hands Jim the phone]
Jim Halpert: Went to voicemail. Hey, Ryan. It's Jim. You know what? Totally disregard that last voicemail because you obviously have your hands tied. Good luck!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
44
likes
Dwight Schrute: Second Life is not a game. It is a multi-user, virtual environment. It doesn't have points, or scores, it doesn't have winners or losers.
Jim Halpert: Oh it has losers.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
26
likes
Michael Scott: Man, that Todd Packer can do anything.
Jim Halpert: [under his breath] ...except pass that breathalyzer.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
11
likes
Jim Halpert: This is awkward to talk about but there may or may not be but definitely is a mutiny forming in the warehouse right now.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
18
likes
Pam Beesly: So, um, I've been thinking about this whole chair/ copier thing.
Jim Halpert: Mm-hmm?
Pam Beesly: I really think you should reconsider.
Jim Halpert: Aw, Pam, I really, hate that copier.
Pam Beesly: Yeah. I know. But I really think you should reconsider.
Jim Halpert: Beesly, are you... threatening me?
Pam Beesly: Jim! Jim, Jim, Jim. I'm not threatening you. I love you. [leans in close] But you should know, you're on very dangerous ground. [kisses Jim]
Jim Halpert: Alright.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
36
likes
Dwight Schrute: Jim, could you please inform Andy Bernard that he is being shunned?
Jim Halpert: Andy, Dwight says welcome back and he could use a hug.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, tell him that that's not true.
Jim Halpert: Dwight says that he doesn't actually know one single fact about bear attacks.
Dwight Schrute: Okay. No. Jim tell him bears can climb faster than they can run. Jim! Tell him!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
10
likes
Jim Halpert: Dwight was the top salesman of the year at our company. He wins a little prize money and gets honored at some convention. It is literally the highest possible honor that a Northeastern Pennsylvania based mid-size paper company regional salesman can attain, so...
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
12
likes
Michael Scott: I'm going to start my own paper company.
Jim Halpert: You're starting your own paper company!
Michael Scott: Yeah!
Jim Halpert: Why?
Michael Scott: Can you believe it? 'Cause I know paper. I know everything there is to know about paper.
Jim Halpert: Do you know that the industry is in decline?
Michael Scott: Yeah! Oh God I practically invented decline, right?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
7
likes
David Wallace: What's with Jan and Michael?
Jim Halpert: I donno. Where to begin...
[both laugh]
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
36
likes
Dwight Schrute: Wait a minute! One more bite of eclair each. Hold it in your mouth if you can't swallow it.
Jim Halpert: [to Michael] Really? Nothing?
Next Page of Jim Halpert quotes
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons