Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

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Jim Halpert: I'm sorry what did you say? So weird.
Dwight Schrute: What? What's so weird?
Jim Halpert: The bat. I mean, I know I felt it bite me but look there's no mark. I feel so tingly... So strangely powerful... [pause] Oh well.
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Creed: I hate Devil's Food.
Jim Halpert: Well I think Meredith--
Creed: Screw Meredith! I don't think it's fair to let someone else pick the cake on my birthday.
Jim Halpert: Everybody's birthday.
Creed: Today is actually my birthday and I wanna pick the cake.
Jim Halpert: What do you want?
Creed: Pie. Peach pie.
Jim Halpert: You want a birthday pie?
Creed: I want a nice cobbler.
Jim Halpert: Well I'll talk to Angela and we're gonna see what we can do about a pie.
Creed: I don't care who you talk to just make it happen.
Jim Halpert: It'll be Angela.
Creed: Tell her it's for Creed. She'll know what that means.
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Jim Halpert: [to Andy] It's so scary how right the things you say are.
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Jim Halpert: You cannot take the fall for him.
Dwight Schrute: He said he would do the same for me.
Jim Halpert: He can do the same for you. Right now. By getting fired instead of you. So what are you gonna do?
Dwight Schrute: I'm gonna go back to work... After I write you up for insubordination.
Jim Halpert: There he is.
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Jim Halpert: Toby's great. He's great. But sometimes he can be a little bit much. [imitating Toby] 'I don't see the harm in that.' Well it's a cake, Toby, so. [scoffs] Come on.
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Jim Halpert: Do you wanna just make a run for it?
Pam Beesly: Maybe.
[Kevin walks by and starts screaming into Pam's chest]
Wahhhhhhhh! Wahhhhh! Mammyyyyy! [walks away defeated]
Jim Halpert: What is happening.
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[as Dwight is moaning]
Jim Halpert: Did I ever tell you why I left Scranton?
Dwight Schrute: [incoherent mumbling] No you didn't.
Jim Halpert: Yeah, I didn't think I had. Well, it was all about Pam.
Dwight Schrute: [more incoherent mumbling]
Jim Halpert: Yeah, she was with Roy, and, uh, I just couldn't take it. I mean, I lost it, Dwight. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate on anything. Even weird stuff, like food had no taste. So my solution was to move away. It was awful. It was something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and that includes you.
Dwight Schrute: [sobs and reaches out for Jim, who has already walked away]
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Pam Beesly: Let me make something clear. Jim and I have never and will never have sex in the office.
Jim Halpert: No, because the office isn't what I'd consider a romantic place.
Pam Beesly: Besides, we have something those other people don't have, which is a home and a bed.
Jim Halpert: And a shower.
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Michael Scott: I really need my job back. We made a terrible mistake here.
Jim Halpert: For the record, I fought this, alright? And now, I'm not really sure what we do.
Michael Scott: We make a poster that says happy opposite day and she sees it on her way out.. no, that's stupid. Oh I wish we had one of those amnesia flashlights from Men In Black.
Jim Halpert: Hey, what was that movie, where their boss was within earshot and they could've just gone talk to her.
Michael Scott: Lethal Weapon?
Jim Halpert: That's it. I think we should do it the Lethal Weapon way.
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Jim Halpert: You're an exec, at Pennsylvania Solar Tech--
Oscar: That sounds fake!
Dwight Schrute: I told you! You are an exec at Stark Industries! A corporation you inherited from your father--
Jim Halpert: Stop! Stop. Stop it. Here's the story. They need Meredith somewhere else ASAP. Ok? So you're taking over you just gotta get her outta there as soon as you can. Alright?
Oscar: Ok I can do that, then what?
Dwight Schrute: Make him pitch to you! You gotta see what he's got. And remember, you're not gay!
Jim Halpert: Stop it!
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Jim Halpert: Listen. We need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance and is there for trying to get us kicked off.
Dwight Schrute: God... damn it! Why us?
Jim Halpert: Because we're strong, Dwight. Because we're strong.
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Dwight Schrute [to camera. dressed as Pam, plays over shots of him in wigs] Yes, I have a wig for every single person in the office. You never know when you're going to need to bear a passing resmeblance to someone.
Jim Halpert [to camera] I just want it to stop.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons