Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office
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| Pam Beesly: | [placing a coke can in front of Jim] Here. [Jim looks confused] Just buy it from me. I haven't talked to you in hours and it's been weird and I really want to know what the hell's going on with Dwight. [Pam scoots the coke can towards Jim. Jim pulls out his wallet and hands Pam a dollar. He gives the coke back to Pam] |
| Jim Halpert: | Hi. |
| Pam Beesly: | Hey. |
| Jim Halpert: | How much time do you have left on your break? |
| Pam Beesly: | Ten minutes. |
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| Dwight Schrute | What side of the list am I on? |
| Jim Halpert | [checks] Left. |
| Dwight Schrute | YES! |
| Jim Halpert | Why are you-- how do you know--? |
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| [Dwight throws Jim's cell phone out the window] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Are you kidding me!? |
| Dwight Schrute: | No communication with the outside world, Jim! |
| Michael Scott: | It had to be done. |
| Jim Halpert: | Well, that kind of sucks. Because it had all the photos of my brother's new baby on it. |
| Dwight Schrute: | That is too bad. Shoot. |
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| Phyllis: | If we act nice now then we're rewarding them for treating us poorly. |
| Jim Halpert: | Didn't we kinda start it? |
| Phyllis: | Mmm I think you're remembering it wrong. I donno about this I think we should hold our ground. The company's changed and if they don't like it they can leave. I mean, a lot of their work can be done from India. |
| Jim Halpert: | Can we at least all agree that this is uncomfortable, and maybe heading for something bad. |
| Andy: | All those who agree say I. [everyone raises their hand] All those opposed? |
| Jim Halpert: | I don't think we need oppose. |
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| Michael Scott: | I think we should celebrate. How 'bout you, Pam, mi casa, little dinner dancing, drinks. |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh, I-- |
| Michael Scott: | [quickly] You said you didn't have plans. [looking up at Jim] That's what you said. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | [to Jim] What is that, what are you supposed to be? |
| Jim Halpert: | I'm three hole punch version of Jim. Because you can have me either way: plain white Jim, or three whole punch. |
| Phyllis: | That's great. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Yeah well look. What about me? |
| Phyllis: | What are you, a monk? |
| Dwight Schrute: | I am a Sith Lord... [Phyllis looks unimpressed] Oh big deal, three round pieces of paper taped to a shirt, this cost me 129 dollars! |
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| Pam Beesly: | So, um, I've been thinking about this whole chair/ copier thing. |
| Jim Halpert: | Mm-hmm? |
| Pam Beesly: | I really think you should reconsider. |
| Jim Halpert: | Aw, Pam, I really, hate that copier. |
| Pam Beesly: | Yeah. I know. But I really think you should reconsider. |
| Jim Halpert: | Beesly, are you... threatening me? |
| Pam Beesly: | Jim! Jim, Jim, Jim. I'm not threatening you. I love you. [leans in close] But you should know, you're on very dangerous ground. [kisses Jim] |
| Jim Halpert: | Alright. |
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| Michael Scott: | You know there's no easy way to do this. I say we add 1.5% to their paycheques and don't say anything about it. |
| Jim Halpert: | Do you mean like, break-in in the middle of the night and change the numbers on payroll? |
| Michael Scott: | No we can do it during the day. It doesn't have to be that dramatic, Jim. |
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| Jim Halpert | [to camera] Some stories are so newsworthy, so historic, that you have to stop eveything to watch. Balloon Boy, Michael Jackson's funeral... uh, things that if you didn't see them live, you wouldn't really care that you didn't see them at all. |
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| Jim Halpert: | I think all of us have a tendency to view celebrities as sort of... mythical figures, you know? We don't really see them as real so therefore we don't judge them as real people. |
| Kevin: | Are you serious? Jim, just show us a picture. |
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| Jim Halpert: | If we get this, they might not have to downsize our branch. And I could work here for years. Years. Years... |
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| Dwight Schrute: | [to Pam] Fax this for me. |
| Jim Halpert: | Come on, man, she goes to New York in like ten minutes. |
| Dwight Schrute: | It's not going to take her ten minutes to fax it, Jim. If I don't see you again, good-bye. Well, actually I'll see you when you give me the fax confirmation so, never mind. |