Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: I really need my job back. We made a terrible mistake here.
Jim Halpert: For the record, I fought this, alright? And now, I'm not really sure what we do.
Michael Scott: We make a poster that says happy opposite day and she sees it on her way out.. no, that's stupid. Oh I wish we had one of those amnesia flashlights from Men In Black.
Jim Halpert: Hey, what was that movie, where their boss was within earshot and they could've just gone talk to her.
Michael Scott: Lethal Weapon?
Jim Halpert: That's it. I think we should do it the Lethal Weapon way.
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Pam Beesly: We have peanut butter in the kitchen.
[Dwight runs to the kitchen]
Michael Scott: I don't feel like peanut butter. [to Dwight] Get me an ice cream sandwich!
Jim Halpert: Well it's not for you, it's for your hair, and it is [checks watch] 9 am.
[Dwight comes running back]
Pam Beesly: No, Dwight! Not the good peanut butter, people are gonna get mad.
Michael Scott: Hey hey hey! This is my hair we're talking about.
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Jim Halpert: I want to clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman grill.
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Michael Scott: Tube City, you owe me one.
Jim Halpert: [In talking head] Co-managing is a give and take. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles that I picked was to stop Michael from running plastic tubes all over the office and placing hamsters inside of them. He was going to call it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one.
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Mr. McGuire: Let's make it interesting, say, uh, ten bucks a hole?
Jim Halpert: Great.
Kevin: What are we talking? Skins? Acee Deucee? Bingo Bango Bongo? Sandies? Barkies? Wolf? What?
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Andy Ok. Robert's in the annex think, quick, what do these groups have in common?
Meredith Maybe we're supposed to do it with people in our group.
Jim Halpert That's not it.
Meredith People in the other group?
Jim Halpert Mm.. Still wrong.
Andy Stanley? You do puzzles all day what do we got?
Stanley Well. You take the first letter from each name assign 'em a number add 'em all up and.. shove 'em up your butt!
Andy [Everyone laughs] Thank you, a little much-needed comic relief, but we REALLY need to figure this out, guys.
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Jim Halpert: If we get this, they might not have to downsize our branch. And I could work here for years. Years. Years...
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Jim Halpert: [on the phone] Hi, yeah, this is Mike from the West Side Market? Well we got a shipment of Herr's salt and vinegar chips and we ordered that about three weeks ago and have-- Yeah... You have them in the warehouse? Great. What is my store number? ... Six. Wait, no, I'll call you back- [quickly hangs up phone]
Karen: [laughing] 'Six?'
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Jim Halpert: I really like the paper-triangle-flicking-and-hitting-things game.
Kevin: We call it Hateball.
Jim Halpert: Why?
Kevin: Because of how much Angela hates it.
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Pam Beesly: Hey Toby.
Toby: Heyy... you two!
Jim Halpert: Hey. So, now that we are dating, uh, we just wanted to know if we had to sign one of those, 'we're dating' things for the company.
Toby: Oh well, you know, those are only for, 'relationships.' So, if this is just a casual thing, there's no need, really.
Pam Beesly: Well I don't wanna speak for Jim, but, it's like pretty official.
Toby: Uh huh?
Jim Halpert: Sorry, so do we need to sign? Or?
Toby: Let's just wait and see what happens.
Jim Halpert: What?
Toby: Let's just wait.
Jim Halpert: Oh, okay.
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Dwight Schrute: [over the radio] Woah, here's a guy, here's a guy! It's a security guard coming by. Hello! We're warehouse workers. Would you like more proof? ... Oh my God that was very close. I can see the security guard's eyes!
Jim Halpert: No! No. Don't do anything to them!
Dwight Schrute: I have to do something to his eyes.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: I'm like Superman and the people who work here are like the citizens of Gotham City.
Jim and Dwight: That's Batman.
Michael Scott: Okay, fine, I'll be Aquaman. Where does he live?
Jim Halpert: The ocean.
Michael Scott: I work with a bunch of nerds!
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