Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office
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| Jim Halpert: | What a night... |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah, well. Good for you, your friend got engaged. |
| Jim Halpert: | She was already engaged. |
| Michael Scott: | Roy said the first one didn't count. |
| Jim Halpert: | That's... great. |
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| [Dwight throws Jim's cell phone out the window] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Are you kidding me!? |
| Dwight Schrute: | No communication with the outside world, Jim! |
| Michael Scott: | It had to be done. |
| Jim Halpert: | Well, that kind of sucks. Because it had all the photos of my brother's new baby on it. |
| Dwight Schrute: | That is too bad. Shoot. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Quick question, why is Tom Hanks on the wall? |
| Ryan: | Twice. |
| Michael Scott: | Good question. Forest Gump, mentally challenged. Philadelphia, AIDS. |
| Kevin: | I think that's from Big. |
| Michael Scott: | I don't think so, no. |
| Kelly: | Yeah, he's dancing on a piano with Robert Loggia. |
| Michael Scott: | He grew into a man overnight. Rare disability, still works. |
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| Michael Scott: | Energize! |
| Jim Halpert: | [whispering] You know what would energize me? If you, Pamela Morgan Beesly... |
| Pam Beesly: | Don't. Don't you dare. |
| Jim Halpert: | would take.... |
| Pam Beesly: | If you purpose to me during a Michael meeting, I would say no. |
| Jim Halpert: | Well, it’s too late because... I am purposing that you get me a cup of coffee, which would energize me greatly, making me the happiest man in the world. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Who stands to benefit from our downfall? |
| Jim Halpert: | The Mob? Maybe NASA? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Could be the mob. But then Dunder Mifflin would need to be a front for money laundering and there is little evidence of that. |
| Jim Halpert: | Is there some evidence of that? |
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| Jim Halpert: | I just spent two hours listening to Michael Clump. I have a pain in my side that I'm pretty sure is an ulcer. My girlfriend's in New York, and I haven't seen her in 10 days. How's your summer? |
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| Andy Bernard: | We have such a roller coaster thing, Karen and I. |
| Jim Halpert: | Excuse me? |
| Andy Bernard: | Roller coastery friendship. Hot, cold, on-again, off-again, sexual tension-filled type of deal. It's very Sam and Diane. |
| Jim Halpert: | Wow. |
| Andy Bernard: | From Cheers. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yep. |
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| Michael Scott: | Let's go to New York. We'll go clubbing with Ryan. |
| Jim Halpert: | I can't. |
| Michael Scott: | Yes you can! You're single I'm single. It'll be awesome. |
| Jim Halpert: | I'm not single. |
| Michael Scott: | Who are you dating? |
| Jim Halpert: | Pam. |
| Michael Scott: | That's still going on? |
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| Michael Scott: | [Needing to find a place to stay] Jim? Pam? |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh, my apartment's on fire. |
| Pam Beasley: | [Whispers] Flooded. |
| Jim Halpert: | Flooded. |
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| Jim Halpert: | I gotta tell you this baby is amazing. She, gets me out of everything... And I--and I love her. I also love her very much. |
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| Jim Halpert: | As ranking number two, I am starting the 'Committee to determine the validity of the two committees.' I am the sole member. The committee will act on this now. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Okay this is stupid. |
| Jim Halpert: | Could you please keep it down? I'm in session. [pause] I have determined that this committee is valid. |
| Dwight Schrute: | What? No, no, wait, wait, wait. Permission to join the validity committee. |
| [long pause] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Permission denied. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Dammit. |
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| Andy: | Oh my god! |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh MY god. |
| Andy: | I had no idea! |
| Jim Halpert: | Well. That's not going to hold up in court. |
| Andy: | We didn't do anything illegal-- Except knock over that mail box with her friends... |