Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office
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| Jim Halpert: | [Jim to Michael after he tried to make Ryan sit on his lap] You can't yell out 'I need this I need this' as you pin down an employee on your lap. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Lord, beer me strength. |
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| Jim Halpert: | He obviously forgot to get me something, and then he went in his closet and dug out this little number [holds up way-too-short sleeves] and then threw it in a bag. |
| Creed Bratton: | [cut to Creed's talking head] Yep. That's exactly what happened. |
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| Jim Halpert: | [to Andy playing the Moroccan guitar] Hey. |
| Andy: | What's up? |
| Jim Halpert: | You take requests? |
| Andy: | Sure. |
| Jim Halpert: | Please stop. Because we're, having a Christmas party. [walks away] |
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| Pam Beesly | [Pats pregnant belly] Right here, little Michael Scott. |
| Jim Halpert | Nope... Told you I don't like that joke. |
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| Michael Scott: | She's dead? But she's so young. |
| Dwight Schrute: | She was so young and now she is dead. As dead as every dead animal that has ever died. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh my God. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Why don't you sit down Michael. [helps Michael into his chair] There we go. |
| Jim Halpert: | Michael you didn't even know her. |
| Michael Scott: | Try not to be so hurtful, Jim. Please, not at a time like this. |
| [Jim looks over at Pam who is shaking her head] |
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| Toby: | Hey Jim! |
| Jim Halpert: | Not now Toby! My God! |
| Michael Scott: | Get the hell out of here, idiot. |
| Toby: | [walking away] What did I do. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Wait. We haven't gone under. We've been sold. That could mean many different things. |
| Michael Scott: | It's hard for me to imagine a scenario in which Meredith Palmer keeps her job and David Wallace does not. No offense Meredith. |
| Meredith: | No, I get it. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Did you watch The Apprentice last night? |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, I can't believe who they kicked out! |
| Dwight Schrute: | Damn it! I missed it! I was out drinking with my laser tag team, I can't believe I did that! I never go out on Thursday nights. [looks down shaking his head] |
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| Jim Halpert: | Okay, we will be competing for gold, silver and bronze yogurt lids. |
| Pam Beesly: | Now the bronze are really blue, and they're also the back side of the gold. So no flipping, okay? Honor system. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | [Reading Jim's note] Will you be my valentine? No. |
| Jim Halpert: | Aw nuts. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Dwight has been Acting Manager for three months now? ... Nope. A week. Just feels like three months. Let's see, we all have to punch into a time clock, which is very old, very strong, and has the slot about the size of a finger. We were all given new business cards, big enough to set us apart from the competition. Which is how I learned that our titles are now Junior Employee. Our lunch breaks are staggered to prevent wasting time. Mine's at 10:30 and I find that the first hour of the day goes by a lot quicker than the second seven hours. |