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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Jim Halpert Quotes

Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

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Pam Beesly: Oh, also, Michael went to Jamaica with Jan.
Jim Halpert: Yeah, how have we not talked about this already? I mean what happened there? Kidnapping?
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Michael Scott: And then, I think I am going to go to the garlic festival.
Jim Halpert: Wow.
Michael Scott: Sounds like fun. You guys would love it. They have a TCBY booth! Same stuff you get downtown. Do you like TCBY?
Jim Halpert: Who doesn't?
Michael Scott: "I can't believe it's... I can't believe it's yogurt."
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Jim Halpert: [after Dwight's stapler was put in Jello] Dwight, I'm sorry because, I've always been your biggest flan.
Michael Scott: [laughing] Oh! Nice! See, that's the way it is around here. It just kinda goes round and round.
Ryan: You, uh, you should have put him in custardy.
Michael Scott: Oh! HEY! HEY! YES! NEW GUY! AND HE SCORES!
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Dwight Schrute: Don't tell Michael.
Jim Halpert: I won't. But you will wash and buff our car.
Dwight Schrute: Punishment fits the crime, I accept.
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Michael Scott: How long have you known about the pregnancy? A week? A month? A year?
Jim Halpert: Michael we only told our parents last week.
Michael Scott: Did you pee on a stick?
Jim Halpert: I did. It was inconclusive.
Michael Scott: You should've told me.
Pam Beesly: You're right. We should have realize that you are an equal part in this.
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Jim Halpert: So, if you touch a peanut, you don't die or go into shock or anything?
Deangelo: No, Jim. Not everything is life and death. I want to be comfortable.
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Oscar: Kevin and I play this paper football game when Michael's out.
Kevin: Or when we're bored.
Jim Halpert: [uncovers the score-keeping sheet] Oh my God! Wait, this goes back two years.
Kevin: We're bored a lot.
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Jim Halpert: Hey Pam... I think that's empty.
Pam Beesly: No, 'cause the ice melts and then it's like... second drink!
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Jim Halpert: So apparently Pam went out last night. And accidentally called my work phone at three in the morning, so... I'm on minute six of this message. [hangs up phone] The future mother of my children.
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Dwight Schrute: Uh, knock please. Please knock. This is an office.
Jim Halpert: [points to sign] It says 'workspace'.
Dwight Schrute: Same thing.
Jim Halpert: If it's the same thing then why'd you write 'workspace'?
Dwight Schrute: [pauses] Just knock, please. Okay? A sign of respect for a superior.
Jim Halpert: You are not my superior.
Dwight Schrute: Oh gee, then why do I have an office?
Jim Halpert: I thought it was a workspace.
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Jim Halpert: [after Jim paired his headset with Dwight's cell phone] Hello this is Dwight.
Pam Beesly: [over the phone] Hello is this Dwight?
Jim Halpert: Yes it is.
Pam Beesly: Oh my goodness you sound sexy.
Jim Halpert: Oh, thank you. I've been working out.
Dwight Schrute: Woah woah woah! Pam! Pam! You are not talking to Dwight right now. You are talking to Jim.
Pam Beesly: [into phone] Dwight?
Dwight Schrute: No! [waving] I'm over here!
Pam Beesly: I'm confused.
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Salesman: How about I make an appointment to come back, that way I know he'll be here.
Pam Beesly: That is a great idea. Umm... [looking through calendar] Oh boy... he's really....
Jim Halpert: Mmmmichael Scott, manager, hi how are ya? Nice to meet you.
Pam Beesly: There he is!
Salesman: Oh hey, great, look at that.
Jim Halpert: Whew, I can assure you we don't need a new system though, happy with ours.
Michael Scott: [enters] Hello, may I help you?
Jim Halpert: [addresses Michael] Jimbo!
Michael Scott: [smiles] Jim...
Jim Halpert: Aaayyyyyyyyy!
Michael Scott: [beat] Aaaayyyyyyy!
Pam, Jim, Michael: Aaaaaaayyyyyyy [Dwight runs up and joins in] Aaaaaayyyyyy!
Salesman: K. I'm uh, I'm gonna be going. [leaves]
Pam, Jim, Michael, Dwight: Aaaaaayyyyyyyy!
Michael Scott: [laughing] What was that?
Pam Beesly: That was funny.
Michael Scott: That was funny, let's go do it to somebody else.
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