Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

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Pam Beesly: Oh, also, Michael went to Jamaica with Jan.
Jim Halpert: Yeah, how have we not talked about this already? I mean what happened there? Kidnapping?
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Ryan Howard: Hey. You're looking for me?
Pam Halpert: Oh, yeah, we were. We were just looking to say hi. So hey.
Ryan Howard: No you weren't.
Pam Beesly: No we weren't.
Ryan Howard: You wanted to have sex in my office.
Pam Halpert: No.
Jim Halpert: Definitely not. That's disgusting.
Ryan Howard: No. It's... it's cool. Just try to put everything back were you found it. Text me when you're finished. I'll be out here.
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Jim Halpert: Charles is having Kevin cover the phones for a while. How do I say this diplomatically... I think Kevin is doing exactly as well as anyone might have expected someone like him to preform in a position like that.
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Pam Beesly: Ok, ok, we are not going the hospital, we are waiting until midnight.
Pam Beesly: Oooh. Spooky. But why?
Jim Halpert: Because, the insurance company only covers two nights.
Pam Beesly: Everything's fine. We've got plenty of time.
IT Guy: Well, you don't wanna wait too long Pam. Otherwise the baby's going to come a teenager in there and uh you'll be up all night. From, the rock music.
Michael Scott: Shut up, Nick! God. Weird thing to say. Weird IT Nerd. Don't get revenge on me nerd.
[give an innocent scoff and looks for support]
Angela: What are you looking at?
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Pam Beesly: Uh oh! Somebody's hitting off with the new boss!
Jim Halpert: They don't ever talk about careers that were MADE because of unplanned pregnancies.
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Pam Halpert: OK, heart-shaped jewellery is not something a woman buys for herself. A man definitely bought it for her recently. And it wasn't Michael.
Jim Halpert: Wait, sorry. You like heart-shaped jewellery though, right?
Pam Halpert: No. [casually turns back to camera] Except for the pendant, that you bought me! Which I love!
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Jim Halpert: So, how do you guys know each other?
Dwight's Babysitter: I was his babysitter.
Pam Beesly: And now you guys are, dating?
Dwight Schrute: Purely carnal. That's all you need to know.
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Jim Halpert: I think it's great that the company's making a commercial. Because, not many people have heard of us. I mean when I tell people I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers. Or muffins. Or... mittens. And frankly all those sound better than paper so, I let it slide.
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Dwight Schrute: [choosing a team name] We will be called Gryffindor!
Jim Halpert: Really? Not Slytherin?
Dwight Schrute: Slytherin are the bad guys, Jim.
Jim Halpert: I know. Okay, we will be Voldemort.
Dwight Schrute: He-who-must-not-be-named? I wouldn't do that.
Jim Halpert: [along with Karen and Kevin start chanting] Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort!
Dwight Schrute: Okay, seriously, you really shouldn't be saying that!
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Jim Halpert: Today, I am meeting a potential client on the golf course because, Ryan put me on probation. You remember Ryan he was the temp here. Yeah. And, uh, it is not a good time for me to lose my job. Since I have some pretty big long term plans in my personal life with Pam that I'd like her parents to be psyched about. So, I am about to do something very bold in this job that I've never done before: Try.
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Phyllis: Where's your place?
Jim Halpert: [awkwardly] Oh, it's on, uh, Lyndon Ave.? By the quarry?
Phyllis: [disappointingly] Oh.
Creed: Cool beans man. I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there!
Jim Halpert: Definitely we should.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: That is vodka and I mixed it with orange juice. I call it an orange-vod-juice-ka.
Jim Halpert: [takes a sip] Wow that is delicious. I can't believe no one's thought of that before.
Michael Scott: I know!
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