Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office
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| Kevin: | What does a bean mean? |
| Pam Beesly: | Why aren't there any beans on this very old, frizzy-haired picture of me? |
| Kevin: | Michael, what does a bean mean. |
| Pam Beesly: | Jim? |
| Jim Halpert: | I was just trying to be unbiased. |
| Kevin: | WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN. |
| Oscar: | Would someone please explain to Kevin? |
| Meredith: | Why can't you? My time is just as valuable as yours. |
| Phyllis: | Not according to the beans. |
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| Dwight Shrute: | What the hell is this? This is not Megadesk. |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh! No, it's not. They call it Quad-desk. |
| Dwight Shrute: | That's ridiculous, this is made up of three desks. |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh my God. We're gonna have to rename it then aren't we. |
| Dwight Shrute: | [answering ringing phone underneath the desks] Hello Dwight Schrute? |
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| Dwight Schrute: | You know what, immitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I thank you. [Jim places bobblehead on desk] Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year! |
| Jim Halpert: | Michael! |
| Dwight Schrute: | Oh that's funny. Michael! |
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| Andy: | Who you supposed to be? |
| Jim Halpert: | [points to "My Name Is..." badge] Dave. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Oh. Jim. I thought you were Mose. |
| Jim Halpert: | Does Mose have nightmares? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Oh yes. Ever since The Storm. |
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| Karen: | So, we have all night, where do you wanna go first? |
| Jim Halpert: | I donno. How 'bout the U.N.? |
| Karen: | How often do you come here? |
| Jim Halpert: | Um, everytime my sixth grade class goes on a field trip. |
| Karen: | Well I think you're really going to enjoy this, adult Jim. |
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| Jim Halpert: | This scented candle...andle...andle, that I found in the men's bathroom...room...room, represents the eternal burning of competition... or something. |
| Kevin: | It smells like cookies. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yes it does. Yes it does my friend. |
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| Pam Beesly | I think we're good friends. Remember your concussion? |
| Dwight Schrute | I do, but you married my worst enemy. |
| Pam Beesly | I know... |
| Jim Halpert | Well, I think "enemy" is a strong word, because I think we have a really charming back and forth. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Do you have any reason to believe Kelly would be mad at me? |
| Ryan: | Oh I don't play the politics game anymore, Jim. Can I tell you something? I played it full on in New York. I played it high-stakes. For keeps. Made it to the top. But look what it cost. Can I tell you what else I learned? [sips out of his mug] |
| Jim Halpert: | Wait, that's, pretty weird. |
| Ryan: | What? |
| Jim Halpert: | Well Andy has a mug just like that. |
| Ryan: | Oh yeah, Kelly gave them out as party favors. Remember? You got one. |
| Jim Halpert: | No. What party? |
| Ryan: | Her America's Got Talent Finale party over the summer. That's crazy it was packed. I thought everyone was there. You were there, I remember you being there. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Anderson's three pillars of retail. Crucial. So important. Next. Are there any questions? |
| Nellie: | What are the three pillars of retail? |
| Erin: | [whispers] Convenience. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Ingredients. |
| Erin: | Service. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Burgers. |
| Erin: | Building loyalty. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Killing royalty. The truth be told, we should really disregard Anderson's three pillars. He was later diagnosed with dementia. You know what is important? Is Dwight's pillars, and there is only one: desire. Do we have a desire to dominate the retail space? Not just succeed in it, but to dominate, and looking around this room I'm not so sure that we do, but we can get there, and I can lead us there, and that is all that matters. |
| Nellie: | Very true. Where there's a will, there's a way. I once spent a passionate night with Hugh Grant's brother, John Grant. He's older than Hugh, just a little bit uglier. How did I pull that off? Sheer force of will. That is very good, Dwight. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Thank you very much. Any other questions? Jim? |
| Jim Halpert: | You are bleeding through your shirt. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Oops. That's embarrassing. Egg on my face. |
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| Andy: | Oh my god! |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh MY god. |
| Andy: | I had no idea! |
| Jim Halpert: | Well. That's not going to hold up in court. |
| Andy: | We didn't do anything illegal-- Except knock over that mail box with her friends... |
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| Jim Halpert: | So as it turns out, unless you're a young child or a prison inmate, you don't need anyone supervising you. People just come in and do their work on their schedule. Imagine that. People like us allowed to sell paper. Unsupervised. And yet, somehow it works. It must be because the stakes are so high. |