Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

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Jim Halpert: [Jim to Michael after he tried to make Ryan sit on his lap] You can't yell out 'I need this I need this' as you pin down an employee on your lap.
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Jim Halpert: Lord, beer me strength.
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Jim Halpert: He obviously forgot to get me something, and then he went in his closet and dug out this little number [holds up way-too-short sleeves] and then threw it in a bag.
Creed Bratton: [cut to Creed's talking head] Yep. That's exactly what happened.
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Jim Halpert: [to Andy playing the Moroccan guitar] Hey.
Andy: What's up?
Jim Halpert: You take requests?
Andy: Sure.
Jim Halpert: Please stop. Because we're, having a Christmas party. [walks away]
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Pam Beesly [Pats pregnant belly] Right here, little Michael Scott.
Jim Halpert Nope... Told you I don't like that joke.
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Michael Scott: She's dead? But she's so young.
Dwight Schrute: She was so young and now she is dead. As dead as every dead animal that has ever died.
Michael Scott: Oh my God.
Dwight Schrute: Why don't you sit down Michael. [helps Michael into his chair] There we go.
Jim Halpert: Michael you didn't even know her.
Michael Scott: Try not to be so hurtful, Jim. Please, not at a time like this.
[Jim looks over at Pam who is shaking her head]
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Toby: Hey Jim!
Jim Halpert: Not now Toby! My God!
Michael Scott: Get the hell out of here, idiot.
Toby: [walking away] What did I do.
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Jim Halpert: Wait. We haven't gone under. We've been sold. That could mean many different things.
Michael Scott: It's hard for me to imagine a scenario in which Meredith Palmer keeps her job and David Wallace does not. No offense Meredith.
Meredith: No, I get it.
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Pam Beesly: Did you watch The Apprentice last night?
Jim Halpert: Yeah, I can't believe who they kicked out!
Dwight Schrute: Damn it! I missed it! I was out drinking with my laser tag team, I can't believe I did that! I never go out on Thursday nights. [looks down shaking his head]
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Jim Halpert: Okay, we will be competing for gold, silver and bronze yogurt lids.
Pam Beesly: Now the bronze are really blue, and they're also the back side of the gold. So no flipping, okay? Honor system.
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Dwight Schrute: [Reading Jim's note] Will you be my valentine? No.
Jim Halpert: Aw nuts.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Jim Halpert: Dwight has been Acting Manager for three months now? ... Nope. A week. Just feels like three months. Let's see, we all have to punch into a time clock, which is very old, very strong, and has the slot about the size of a finger. We were all given new business cards, big enough to set us apart from the competition. Which is how I learned that our titles are now Junior Employee. Our lunch breaks are staggered to prevent wasting time. Mine's at 10:30 and I find that the first hour of the day goes by a lot quicker than the second seven hours.
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