Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office
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| Jim Halpert: | Beer me five. |
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| Pam Beesly: | (whispering) Oh my God! Wrong baby! |
| Jim Halpert: | (Whispering) What? |
| Pam Beesly: | Wrong baby! This is not our baby! |
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| Kevin: | [to Meredith] Fire girl! ... too soon. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah. |
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| Michael Scott: | What's the group, that were from Scranton and made it big? Was that U2? |
| Jim Halpert: | Yes. |
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| Jim Halpert: | So, if you touch a peanut, you don't die or go into shock or anything? |
| Deangelo: | No, Jim. Not everything is life and death. I want to be comfortable. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Can we take a look at the suite now? |
| Employee: | Oh I'm sorry, somebody just checked in. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh is there another wedding at the hotel this weekend? |
| Employee: | Oh no, just an individual. That man there. [points to Andy] |
| Andy: | Hey! I got the room the night before you guys. I'll break in the bed! |
| Jim Halpert: | I don't like that. |
| Pam Beesly: | I'm gonna need the name and cell phone number of the housekeeper responsible for changing the sheets, please. |
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| Andy: | Tuna! Sup, Tuna. Gonna have some tuna for dinner? [to Pam] I bet you're sick of Tuna, right? Probably have Tuna every night. Tuna! |
| Jim Halpert: | Alright. |
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| Jim Halpert: | You know what? Here's the deal, Kelly. It would be really nice if he was into you, right? It would be great. But he isn't. |
| Kelly: | Yeah, but it would be so great if he was. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, but he's not, though. So you just gotta suck it up. You just gotta move on. Try to have some fun. Come to my poker game tonight. |
| Kelly: | Okay cool. [pause] Is it okay if I invite Ryan? |
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| Jim Halpert: | I thought it was called 'Nasty Christmas.' |
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| Michael Scott: | I'm like Superman and the people who work here are like the citizens of Gotham City. |
| Jim and Dwight: | That's Batman. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay, fine, I'll be Aquaman. Where does he live? |
| Jim Halpert: | The ocean. |
| Michael Scott: | I work with a bunch of nerds! |
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| Dwight Schrute: | You know what, immitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I thank you. [Jim places bobblehead on desk] Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year! |
| Jim Halpert: | Michael! |
| Dwight Schrute: | Oh that's funny. Michael! |
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| [Jim has Pam on the phone through his bluetooth device in his ear] | |
| Michael Scott: | Jimbo, let's do this thaang. |
| Jim Halpert: | That is me. Wish me luck. |
| Dwight Schrute: | No way. |
| Pam Beesly: | [in Jim's ear] Good luck. |
| Jim Halpert: | Thanks. |
| Dwight Schrute: | I didn't say anything. |
| Pam Beesly: | [in Jim's ear] I love you. |
| Jim Halpert: | I love you too. |
| Dwight Schrute: | What do you think I am saying to you!? |
| Jim Halpert: | I'm not talking to you. |
| Dwight Schrute: | [cut to talking head] I've caught Jim talking to himself several times today. What a loser. [to camera] Get a friend, loser. |