The Office Season 2 Quotes - The Injury
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| Michael Scott: | Get Ryan! He need's to lift me, and he needs to clean me up a little bit... Bring a wet towel... |
| Toby: | Ryan is... dead. |
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| Michael Scott: | I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon- sue me- and since I don''t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So most nights before I go to bed I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious. It''s good for me. It's the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That''s it. I don't see what's so hard to believe about that |
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| Michael Scott: | What do I put for 'Reason for visit'? |
| Jim Halpert: | Concussion. |
| [Michael crosses something off] | |
| Jim Halpert: | What did you write? |
| Michael Scott: | Nothing... I wrote, 'Bringing someone to the hospital.' |
| Jim Halpert: | So, you thought it meant your reason for visit. |
| Michael Scott: | No, Jim- this isn't about me anymore. |
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| Michael Scott: | Can I ask you all a question? Do you know what it''s like to be disabled? |
| Phyllis: | I had scoliosis as a girl |
| Michael Scott: | Never heard of it. No, a real disability, not a woman's trouble. |
| Creed: | When I was a teenager, I was in an iron-lung. |
| Michael Scott: | Wha? How- how old are you? The point is: I am the only one here who has a legitimate disability. Although I am sure Stanley has had his fair share of obstacles. |
| Stanley: | I'm not disabled and neither are you. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Where are we going? |
| Jim Halpert: | Get inside. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Where are we going? |
| Jim Halpert: | We're going to Chuck E. Cheese. |
| Michael Scott: | Chuck E. Cheese? Oh god, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese. |
| Jim Halpert: | We're going to the hospital, Michael. |
| Michael Scott: | I know, just saying. |
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| Doctor: | Does the skin look red and swollen? |
| Dwight Schrute: | That's what she said. |
| Michael Scott: | That's my joke, damn it Dwight. |
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| Michael Scott: | The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. The first person to shout 'shotgun' when you're within sight of the car gets the front seat. That's how the game's played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion. |
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| Michael Scott: | Pam you want to rub butter on my foot? |
| Pam Beesly: | No. |
| Michael Scott: | Pam, please. I have Country Crock. |
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| Pam Beesly: | No, Dwight is not my friend... |
| [pause] | |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh my God, Dwight is kind of my friend. |
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| Michael Scott: | [on the phone with his mom] No Mom, no one's helping me at all. No I'm not gonna call Jan. She'd just worry, come down here and make a big fuss. Who told you that? It was mutual. And why is Pam chatting with you? |
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| Ryan: | I ground up four extra-strength Aspirin and put them in Michael's pudding. I do the same with my dog to get him to take his heartworm medicine. |
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| Michael Scott: | Doctor, what is more serious, a foot injury or a head injury? |
| Doctor: | A head injury. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Quick question, why is Tom Hanks on the wall? |
| Ryan: | Twice. |
| Michael Scott: | Good question. Forest Gump, mentally challenged. Philadelphia, AIDS. |
| Kevin: | I think that's from Big. |
| Michael Scott: | I don't think so, no. |
| Kelly: | Yeah, he's dancing on a piano with Robert Loggia. |
| Michael Scott: | He grew into a man overnight. Rare disability, still works. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | You like candy? |
| Angela: | It's alright. |
| Dwight Schrute: | 'Cause you're sweeter than candy. |
| Angela: | What's wrong with you? |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Hold on Michael! I am coming! |
| Michael Scott: | [on speakerphone] I don't want Dwight! |
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| Ryan: | I found the pudding cups you wanted at a gas station in Carbondale! |
| Michael Scott: | You did it, look at you! And with the plate and the napkin, very nice... thank you Ryan. Did you get the yams? |
| Ryan: | No, the gas station in Carbondale did not have fresh yams! |
| Michael Scott: | [sighs] Oh okay. I'll just have the pudding. |
| Ryan: | You sure? |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah. |
| Ryan: | Okay. |
| [later] | |
| Michael: Scott: | You know what? I feel better. Ryan brought me some chocolate pudding, and his kindness healed my foot. |
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| Doctor: | For a burn, you really just need to look at the outside of the foot. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay, what kind of machine is that? |
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