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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 2 - The Injury

The Office Season 2 Quotes - The Injury

  • Quotes
  • Conference Room (11 Comments)
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54
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Michael Scott: I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon- sue me- and since I don''t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So most nights before I go to bed I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious. It''s good for me. It's the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That''s it. I don't see what's so hard to believe about that
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49
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Michael Scott: What do I put for 'Reason for visit'?
Jim Halpert: Concussion.
[Michael crosses something off]
Jim Halpert: What did you write?
Michael Scott: Nothing... I wrote, 'Bringing someone to the hospital.'
Jim Halpert: So, you thought it meant your reason for visit.
Michael Scott: No, Jim- this isn't about me anymore.
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47
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Michael Scott: Get Ryan! He need's to lift me, and he needs to clean me up a little bit... Bring a wet towel...
Toby: Ryan is... dead.
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41
likes
Dwight Schrute: Where are we going?
Jim Halpert: Get inside.
Dwight Schrute: Where are we going?
Jim Halpert: We're going to Chuck E. Cheese.
Michael Scott: Chuck E. Cheese? Oh god, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.
Jim Halpert: We're going to the hospital, Michael.
Michael Scott: I know, just saying.
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41
likes
Dwight Schrute: You can't fire me; I don't work in this van!
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41
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Michael Scott: Can I ask you all a question? Do you know what it''s like to be disabled?
Phyllis: I had scoliosis as a girl
Michael Scott: Never heard of it. No, a real disability, not a woman's trouble.
Creed: When I was a teenager, I was in an iron-lung.
Michael Scott: Wha? How- how old are you? The point is: I am the only one here who has a legitimate disability. Although I am sure Stanley has had his fair share of obstacles.
Stanley: I'm not disabled and neither are you.
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36
likes
Jim Halpert: I want to clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman grill.
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36
likes
Doctor: Does the skin look red and swollen?
Dwight Schrute: That's what she said.
Michael Scott: That's my joke, damn it Dwight.
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29
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Michael Scott: The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. The first person to shout 'shotgun' when you're within sight of the car gets the front seat. That's how the game's played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion.
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25
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Michael Scott: Pam you want to rub butter on my foot?
Pam Beasley: No.
Michael Scott: Pam, please. I have Country Crock.
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23
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Pam Beesly: No, Dwight is not my friend...
[pause]
Pam Beesly: Oh my God, Dwight is kind of my friend.
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22
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Pam Beesly: I told them you cooked your foot.
Michael Scott: I burnt my foot.
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21
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Ryan: I ground up four extra-strength Aspirin and put them in Michael's pudding. I do the same with my dog to get him to take his heartworm medicine.
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19
likes
Michael Scott: [on the phone with his mom] No Mom, no one's helping me at all. No I'm not gonna call Jan. She'd just worry, come down here and make a big fuss. Who told you that? It was mutual. And why is Pam chatting with you?
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19
likes
Michael Scott: Doctor, what is more serious, a foot injury or a head injury?
Doctor: A head injury.
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19
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Jim Halpert: Quick question, why is Tom Hanks on the wall?
Ryan: Twice.
Michael Scott: Good question. Forest Gump, mentally challenged. Philadelphia, AIDS.
Kevin: I think that's from Big.
Michael Scott: I don't think so, no.
Kelly: Yeah, he's dancing on a piano with Robert Loggia.
Michael Scott: He grew into a man overnight. Rare disability, still works.
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18
likes
Michael Scott: What does this look like to you?
Stanley: Mail Boxes Etc.
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16
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Dwight Schrute: You like candy?
Angela: It's alright.
Dwight Schrute: 'Cause you're sweeter than candy.
Angela: What's wrong with you?
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15
likes
Dwight Schrute: Hold on Michael! I am coming!
Michael Scott: [on speakerphone] I don't want Dwight!
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14
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Ryan: I found the pudding cups you wanted at a gas station in Carbondale!
Michael Scott: You did it, look at you! And with the plate and the napkin, very nice... thank you Ryan. Did you get the yams?
Ryan: No, the gas station in Carbondale did not have fresh yams!
Michael Scott: [sighs] Oh okay. I'll just have the pudding.
Ryan: You sure?
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Ryan: Okay.
[later]
Michael: Scott: You know what? I feel better. Ryan brought me some chocolate pudding, and his kindness healed my foot.
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12
likes
Dwight Schrute: Huggy hugs?
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10
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Toby: Wow you just dive right in.
Ryan: You know around age 12, I just started going for it.
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10
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Doctor: For a burn, you really just need to look at the outside of the foot.
Michael Scott: Okay, what kind of machine is that?
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5
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Michael Scott: [filling out hospital form] Dwight, what is your middle name?
Dwight Schrute: Danger.
Michael Scott: Something with a "K".
Jim Halpert: It's Kurt. Wow, I'm so sad that I know that.
Michael Scott: What do I write under "reason for visit"?
Jim Halpert: Concussion.
Michael Scott: [scratches something of the form]
Jim Halpert: What did you write?
Michael Scott: [clears throat] Nothing... I wrote "bringing someone to the hospital".
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4
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Dwight Schrute: Pam, I am Assistant Regional Manager and I can take care of him. Part of my duties are to...
Michael Scott: Are to what? Part of your duties are to what?
Dwight Schrute: What?
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4
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Dwight Schrute: I know this great website where you can download song for like two cents apiece.
Pam Beesly: Really?
Dwight Schrute: Yeah, I'll write down the address for you. The only thing is, is that all the songs are in Russian.
Pam Beesly: [rolls eyes]
Dwight Schrute: Kidding.
Pam Beesly: Oh. [laughs]
Dwight Schrute: Why would they all be...Okay, see you later, Pan.
Pam Beesly: Pan?
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3
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Michael Scott: Doctor, what is more serious, a head injury or a foot injury?
Doctor A head injury.
Michael Scott: Well, you don't have all the information. The foot has been fairly severely burned, and healed quickly, very quickly. Actually, like, suspiciously quickly.
Doctor [to Dwight] So I'm ordering a CAT scan.
Dwight Schrute: What is that?
Michael Scott: Look, since you have the machine up and running, can I just stick my foot in? We can take a look.
Doctor Well, for a burn, you really just need to look at the outside of the foot.
Michael Scott: Okay, what kind of machine is that?
Doctor Does the skin look red and swollen?
Dwight Schrute: That's what she said.
Michael Scott: That's my joke. Damn it, Dwight.
11 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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