Oscar Quotes From The Office
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| Kevin: | My money's on Pam. |
| Oscar: | It's not a fight. What other outcome could there be? |
| Kevin: | Michael could win. |
| Oscar: | How? He can't hit back! |
| Kevin: | Why can't you just agree with me sometimes?! |
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| Michael Scott: | Come here. [talking about Pam] I would never say this to her face, but she is a wonderful person and a gifted artist. |
| Oscar: | What? Why wouldn't you say that to her face? |
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| Oscar: | I love a good quitting story. It makes me feel like I have control over my own life. Gives me hope! Maybe I'll have one of my own someday. But I dream... so... |
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| Michael Scott: | I'm also part Native American Indian. |
| Oscar: | What part Native American? |
| Michael Scott: | Two-fifteenths. |
| Oscar: | That fraction doesn't make any sense. |
| Michael Scott: | Well you know its kind of hard for me to talk about... there's suffering. |
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| Oscar: | And just like that, as mysteriously as he arrived, he was gone. |
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| Oscar: | What are you microwaving! |
| Phyllis: | Popcorn. |
| Pam Beesly: | Why don't you use the microwave in the kitchen Phyllis? |
| Phyllis: | Someone needs to clean it, it smells like popcorn. |
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| Andy: | [during the meeting] I'll drop an ethics bomb on you. Would you steal bread to feed your family. [oscar waits] Boom! |
| Oscar: | Exactly, Andy. |
| Andy: | Yeah. I took Intro to Philosophy, twice! No big deal. |
| Dwight Schrute: | It's a trick question. The bread is poisoned. Also, it's not your real family. You've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male. |
| Andy: | No that's... not how it works. |
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| Andy: | Guys, stop everything. I'm about to ask out this girl and I'm completely panicking. |
| Oscar: | [walking away] Oh my desk is over.... |
| Creed: | This gal. She's really into you? |
| Andy: | Yeah! Yeah, I mean, I've seen her like three times today and we love all the same music, and whenever I walk into a room she totally looks up... |
| Creed: | Ah ah. Say no more. This is how I got Sqeaky Fromme. No small talk. Just show her who's the boss. Just go right in and kiss her. |
| Andy: | Ok it sounds risky... |
| Creed: | Have I ever steered you wrong, Jim? |
| Andy: | [thinking] Wait what? |
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| Oscar: | I get here early every morning so I can set the thermostat. I like it a little cooler, around 66 degrees. I'm more productive. Maybe some people don't like it as cold as I do. But I don't care. |
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| Angela: | I am proud to announce there is a new addition to the Martin family. She's hypoallergenic, she doesn't struggle when you try to dress her, she's a third generation show-cat, her father was in Meet the Parents. Needless to say she was very, very expensive. |
| Meredith: | How much-- |
| Angela: | Seven thousand dollars. |
| Creed: | For a cat? I could get you a kid for that. |
| Oscar: | Where'd you get that kind of money? |
| Angela: | I sold Andy's engagement ring on eBay. |
| Kevin: | Wait-- you didn't give it back? |
| Angela: | He wouldn't have wanted that. Her name, is Princess Lady! |
| Meredith: | Seven grand! I gotta see that little bitch. |
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| Kevin: | Talk to him. |
| Oscar: | Michael there's a very big difference between these two pizza places, both in quality of ingredients, and overall taste. |
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| Oscar: | [of Mexican descent] I can play, if you need any help. |
| Michael Scott: | I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we ever decide to box. |
