Oscar Quotes From The Office
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| Michael Scott: | Hey, alright! You know what clearly I'm outnumbered here but could I just say one thing? Please? What is so wrong about me. I'm caring. I'm generous. [pause] I'm sensual. Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness. |
| Phyllis: | Good luck Michael. I hope you find what you're looking for. |
| Oscar: | Maybe you're right. Who are we to-- |
| Pam Beesly: | Shut up Oscar! What is wrong with all of you!? He is sleeping with my mother! |
| Dwight Schrute: | I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on. |
| Michael Scott: | Let's get back to the matter at hand. |
| Pam Beesly: | Whatever. You know. Sleep with my mom, sleep with everyone's mom! |
| Ryan: | Whoa!! That's my mom you're talking about. |
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| Michael Scott: | Where's Andy? |
| Oscar: | He's on one of his honeymoons. |
| Michael Scott: | What? |
| Oscar: | He made non-refundable deposits. On his honeymoons. So he's just knocking them off one at a time. I think today he's hot air ballooning and later he's got a couples massage. |
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| Meredith: | I knew something bad was gonna happen today. |
| Oscar: | You said that yesterday. |
| Meredith: | Yeah, my neighbor got murdered. |
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| Stanley: | Michael don't listen to them. |
| Michael Scott: | Thank you Stanley. |
| Stanley: | You just ignore their carping. |
| Michael Scott: | Ok. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Michael. |
| Michael Scott: | Yes. |
| Dwight Schrute: | A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. They're mocking you with wordplay. |
| Creed: | Hey Boss. Did you "Find Nemo"? |
| Michael Scott: | I could name Pixar movies too. Toy Story! |
| Oscar: | Don't you mean, Coy Story? |
| [everyone laughs] | |
| Phyllis: | And when you fell in, did you Flounder? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Michael, a flounder is both a kind of fish-- |
| Michael Scott: | I know what a flounder is! |
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| Oscar: | I don't see how we can possibly sell these for that little without losing money. Delivery alone will cost-- |
| Michael Scott: | OK well sometimes, sometimes, it makes financial sense to lose money, right? Like for tax purposes? |
| Oscar: | Actually, I ran the numbers on this, and in this case, it makes financial sense to gain, money? |
| Michael Scott: | Why don't you run them again. |
| Jim Halpert: | What if she's just flirting with you to get a better price. |
| Michael Scott: | If she is it's working. |
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| Oscar: | Last year Michael's theme was 'bowl over the competition.' So guess where we went. |
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| Angela: | I am proud to announce there is a new addition to the Martin family. She's hypoallergenic, she doesn't struggle when you try to dress her, she's a third generation show-cat, her father was in Meet the Parents. Needless to say she was very, very expensive. |
| Meredith: | How much-- |
| Angela: | Seven thousand dollars. |
| Creed: | For a cat? I could get you a kid for that. |
| Oscar: | Where'd you get that kind of money? |
| Angela: | I sold Andy's engagement ring on eBay. |
| Kevin: | Wait-- you didn't give it back? |
| Angela: | He wouldn't have wanted that. Her name, is Princess Lady! |
| Meredith: | Seven grand! I gotta see that little bitch. |
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| Angela: | My worst breakup, was actually two breakups. Two different men. I was in love with both of them and, when things went bad... they had a duel over me. |
| Oscar: | Yeah Dwight and Andy, we were here. |
| Angela: | No. This was years ago when I was living in Ohio. John Mark and John David. |
| Oscar: | Angela you had two sets of different men... actually duel over you? |
| Angela: | I guess I have... |
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| Michael Scott: | Hey, hey. What are you doing? |
| Oscar: | Michael I didn't ask to come up here. |
| Michael Scott: | Wow, man. That-- |
| Oscar: | What! |
| Michael Scott: | That was embarrassing. |
| Oscar: | For me! |
| Michael Scott: | For me too! You embarrassed me. |
| Oscar: | You-- [gets frustrated and walks away] |
