Oscar Quotes From The Office
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| Oscar: | When I was younger I always wanted to be an actor in commericals then I realized I had a brain. |
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| Oscar: | Andy I feel like a tourist in my own city! I literally can't wait to wake up every morning. |
| Pam Halpert: | Ohkay. |
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| Stanley: | Michael don't listen to them. |
| Michael Scott: | Thank you Stanley. |
| Stanley: | You just ignore their carping. |
| Michael Scott: | Ok. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Michael. |
| Michael Scott: | Yes. |
| Dwight Schrute: | A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. They're mocking you with wordplay. |
| Creed: | Hey Boss. Did you "Find Nemo"? |
| Michael Scott: | I could name Pixar movies too. Toy Story! |
| Oscar: | Don't you mean, Coy Story? |
| [everyone laughs] | |
| Phyllis: | And when you fell in, did you Flounder? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Michael, a flounder is both a kind of fish-- |
| Michael Scott: | I know what a flounder is! |
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| Pam Beesly: | [to the accountants] Hey guys, we're all going to visit Merridith and some of us are pitching in a few dollars for flowers. |
| Kevin: | Who's 'we'? You and Jim? |
| Pam Beesly: | No, so far Phylis, Stanley and I. |
| Kevin: | Oh, I bet Jim goes too. |
| Pam Beesly: | Yeah, I haven't asked him yet. |
| Kevin: | I bet you ask. |
| Pam Beesly: | I was planning on it. |
| Kevin: | I bet you were. |
| Oscar: | [an aside to Kevin, whispering] Stop. |
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| Ryan: | My mom makes the best pesto in the world. And I always tell her, "Mom you should sell this. You'd make a fortune." And she always says, "No. It's just for family." Well, finally I was like **** it, I'll sell it. So I'm like, "Mom, I need you to make a ton of pesto for a pesto party for all my friends." She's like, "Oh, okay." Pesto party, really? Anyway, she makes like a hundred bottles worth. It's so good. And Phyllis just had that Mom look I wanted. |
| [later] | |
| Oscar: | Where did you get this? [cut to a table filled with salsa with a label of a picture of Oscar, wearing a sombrero.] |
| Ryan: | My mom also makes the best salsa. |
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| Oscar: | Yes, I am super cool. I am an accountant at a failing paper supply company. In Scranton. Much like, uh, Sir Ian McKellen. |
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| Oscar Martinez: | Michael, I'm reading. |
| Michael Scott: | What are you reading? |
| Oscar Martinez: | The Atlantic. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh! That is my favorite ocean. I love it. |
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| Oscar: | [to Michael] I made egg salad sandwiches. Do you want one? |
| Michael Scott: | Could you have picked something stinkier to bring on a plane? My God, Oscar, really. Do you have a bag of baby poop in there, too, to share with everybody? No, I'll be ordering my own food. Thank you very much. [turns to talk to flight attendant] Hi, um, I'd like to see a menu, please. |
| Flight Attendant: | Oh, I'm sorry. There are no meals on flights less than two hours. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh, ok. [looks back at Oscar regretfully] |
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| Andy: | [during the meeting] I'll drop an ethics bomb on you. Would you steal bread to feed your family. [oscar waits] Boom! |
| Oscar: | Exactly, Andy. |
| Andy: | Yeah. I took Intro to Philosophy, twice! No big deal. |
| Dwight Schrute: | It's a trick question. The bread is poisoned. Also, it's not your real family. You've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male. |
| Andy: | No that's... not how it works. |