Oscar Quotes From The Office

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Nate: Got it. [taking a group photo outside]
Pam Beesly: Okay let's go in. I'm freezing.
Michael Scott: People, wait, wait, wait. Come back, come back. One fun one. We're gonna do a fun one.
Jim Halpert: One Charlie's Angels. One. Let's go.
Pam Beesly: Okay, this is just a Christmas card from your paper supplier. No one's putting this on their fridge.
Kevin: Oh, I got it, you guys, how 'bout this. Michael, what if all the boys are on one side, all the girls are on the other. The boys are like, 'why I oughta', and the girls are like, 'let's go shopping!'.
Andy: Let's just jump in the air!
Michael Scott: That's it! That's a picture! Yes! Jump in the air. We're gonna jump in the air. Here we go.
Nate: One, two, three. [everyone jumps at different times] Not everyone jumped.
Michael Scott: Okay, everybody jump in the air this time, please. Here we go.
Nate: One, two, three. [everyone jumps] Still some people not jumping.
Jim Halpert: You gotta be kidding me. Who isn't jumping?
Dwight Schrute: I'll tell you who. Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley, Angela, and Oscar.
Phyllis: I am jumping.
Dwight Schrute: You are?
Phyllis: Yes, I am jumping.
Dwight Schrute: Let me see you jump. [Phyllis barely jumps] Oh, my God. This is a store bought-camera. This isn't one of those special military-grade cameras that would be able to capture that.
Pam Beesly: I'm freezing
Nate: Um, also, Erin is jumping way too early. She's on the ground by 'three'.
Erin: I didn't want to miss it.
Andy: Well, if we all jump really high, we'll be in the air longer. Do that.
Oscar: Here's a question nobody's asking: Is this worth it?
Michael Scott: Don't answer that. People, listen up and listen good. We need to just get one picture where we're all in the air at the same time. Yes?
Oscar: Why?
Michael Scott: I believe in us. We can do this. Here we go.
Nate: Okay, on three. Uh, everyone in the air. Three, [some people jump] two, [others jump] one, [others jump] zero. [everyone begins to yell]
[cut to the talking head]
Michael Scott: We didn't get it.
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Oscar: Pam, just for the record I think you're over-reacting a little bit. Your mom's old enough to make her own decisions.
Pam Beesly: Oh, well, thanks Oscar. I was just wondering, how would you feel if Michael was sleeping with your mom.
Oscar: My mother's in a wheelchair.
Pam Beesly: Well he could still... I'm sorry about that.
[Pam starts walking away but turns around]
Pam Beesly: Oh could I just get you to sign this second page.
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Oscar: [to Michael] I made egg salad sandwiches. Do you want one?
Michael Scott: Could you have picked something stinkier to bring on a plane? My God, Oscar, really. Do you have a bag of baby poop in there, too, to share with everybody? No, I'll be ordering my own food. Thank you very much. [turns to talk to flight attendant] Hi, um, I'd like to see a menu, please.
Flight Attendant: Oh, I'm sorry. There are no meals on flights less than two hours.
Michael Scott: Oh, ok. [looks back at Oscar regretfully]
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Jim Halpert: Oooh! Can't wait for this day to be over.
Kelly: Why.
Jim Halpert: Just all the drama.
Kelly: What drama.
Jim Halpert: Between the... us and you guys... It's unnecessary right?
Kelly: So unnecessary.
Jim Halpert: Oh good, so glad you said that. [walks over]
Kelly: You know maybe if the salesmen, weren't acting like such a bunch of stuck up losers, this day wouldn't be so bad. You ever think of that?
[long pause]
Jim Halpert: I have new baby pictures. [takes out cell phone]
Oscar: Jim.
Kelly: Don't use your cute baby, to make us like you.
Jim Halpert: She's wearing a onesie.
[Kelly braces Oscar]
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Michael Scott: We'll ask PowerPoint.....
Oscar: Michael, this is a presentation tool.
Michael Scott: You're a presentation tool!
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Oscar: What are you doing?
Kevin: I'm trying to decide if I have time to pee.
Oscar: How long do you take to pee?
Kevin: The peeing is fast, Oscar. It's getting my tie back on.
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Michael Scott: I'm going in for a procedure today.
Oscar: Is everything ok?
Michael Scott: Yeah. It's routine. I'm just a little bit scared.
Oscar: I'm sure everything will be fine. What's the procedure if you don't mind my asking?
Michael Scott: It is a colonoscopy.
Oscar: Ok.
Michael Scott: In your experience, what should I be expecting, in terms of sensation. Or, emotions. [pause] Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me or for Dr. Shandri. My main concern is should I have a safe word?
Oscar: Yeah. [walks out of the office]
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Michael Scott: Daddy's here and Daddy is going to take care of you.
Oscar: Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy.
Michael Scott: I am your big daddy and I am gonna kiss de booboo.
Andy: Andy is afwaid.
Michael Scott: Andy afwaid?
Andy: Yes.
Michael Scott: Are you all afwaid?
Dwight Schrute: No.
Michael Scott: Daddy here for youu. My wittle angels.
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Oscar: You have your cats on Nanny Cam.
Angela: Yeah! I mean I usually try to take leave when I get a new cat but I'm out of vacation days. And this company still doesn't recognize cat maternity. I mean somebody has a kid, oh sure, take off a year.
Meredith: She's right I had my second kid just for the vacation.
Angela: Right! Anyways, I just want to make sure Princess Lady is acclimating well. She means more to me than anyone.
Kevin: Any cat, you mean.
Angela: And person.
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Oscar: [of Mexican descent] I can play, if you need any help.
Michael Scott: I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we ever decide to box.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons