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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Oscar Quotes

Oscar Quotes From The Office

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Oscar: Creed?
'Young' Creed: Yes sir!
Oscar: Everything okay?
'Young' Creed: Everything's cool dude.
[cut to interview]
'Young' Creed: I'm thirty. Well, in November I'll be thirty.
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Andy: Excuse me, everyone, please check your emails I just sent you the following message: Co-workers, you may have received a valentine from me. Please understand that this does not mean I like you in any way.
Phyllis: You don't even like us as friends?
Andy: Phyllis, you guys are like my closest friends. I just mean I don't like like you.
Oscar: What are we five?
Andy: [reading] Please don't read into this card. Yours in professionalism, Nard Dog.
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Oscar: Kevin and I play this paper football game when Michael's out.
Kevin: Or when we're bored.
Jim Halpert: [uncovers the score-keeping sheet] Oh my God! Wait, this goes back two years.
Kevin: We're bored a lot.
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Oscar: [in front of a image from a projector] See that? The obvious symmetry of the face. This is a natural appeal of the scientific standard of coinalphelia, features that are a composite average of many features. Yes she's attractive. But, she's not hot.
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Michael Scott: Did you ever have intercourse in this office?
[Dwight says nothing]
Oscar: Are you serious? [scoffs disgustedly] Where?
[Dwight stares at Oscar]
Oscar: [aggressively] Where?
[Dwight continues to stare]
Oscar: [now grimacing] Where Dwight?
Dwight Schrute: It seems like you already know where.
[Oscar silently covers his mouth]
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[Creed walks into the office dressed as the Joker]
Oscar: Whoa! Awesome!
Creed: Let's put a smile on that FACE! [walks away]
[Kevin stands up from behind his desk, also dressed as the Joker]
Kevin: Damn it, Creed! I've been up since four!
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Kevin: [looking through Luke's groceries] Wait. Soy ice cream. Did you get real ice cream?
Pam Beesly: Or enough for everyone?
Luke: No man there was no list. But I got Bagel Chips.
Oscar: Oh my favorite part of an ice cream party. Bagel Chips!
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Jan: You're broke?
Michael Scott: That's- how did you get that from what Oscar's saying. That's not-
Jan: H-how how-- I mean, Michael, how did this happen? Where exactly did your money go? Uh-I don't-- I don't get this. I really don't. I don't- I don't understand how, you could be so [sigh] irresponsible. I mean- ah!- it's just- it is astounding to me! Really! I don't know what more to say. I hoped that--
Oscar: Jan?
Jan: Yeah, what?
Oscar: Michael left.
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Jim Halpert: If you were a real star you'd put your face in it.
Michael Scott: I love it more!
Oscar: But that doesn't seem.. safe.
Michael Scott: [to camera] IIII love it!
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Oscar: Pam, just for the record I think you're over-reacting a little bit. Your mom's old enough to make her own decisions.
Pam Beesly: Oh, well, thanks Oscar. I was just wondering, how would you feel if Michael was sleeping with your mom.
Oscar: My mother's in a wheelchair.
Pam Beesly: Well he could still... I'm sorry about that.
[Pam starts walking away but turns around]
Pam Beesly: Oh could I just get you to sign this second page.
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Kevin: Are you kidding me? Pam, and Jim, are hooking up. All they do is smile. They're just keeping it a secret. Right?
[pans to Oscar]
Oscar: I don't know. There is no evidence of intimacy. They've been in remarkably good moods, it could be other things.
Kevin: Are you kidding me!?
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Oscar: It sounds like a get-rich-quick scheme.
Michael Scott: Yes! Thank you! You will get rich quick. We all will!
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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