Nate:	Got it. [taking a group photo outside]
Pam Beesly:	Okay let's go in. I'm freezing.
Michael Scott:	People, wait, wait, wait. Come back, come back. One fun one. We're gonna do a fun one.
Jim Halpert:	One Charlie's Angels. One. Let's go.
Pam Beesly:	Okay, this is just a Christmas card from your paper supplier. No one's putting this on their fridge.
Kevin:	Oh, I got it, you guys, how 'bout this. Michael, what if all the boys are on one side, all the girls are on the other. The boys are like, 'why I oughta', and the girls are like, 'let's go shopping!'.
Andy:	Let's just jump in the air!
Michael Scott:	That's it! That's a picture! Yes! Jump in the air. We're gonna jump in the air. Here we go.
Nate:	One, two, three. [everyone jumps at different times] Not everyone jumped.
Michael Scott:	Okay, everybody jump in the air this time, please. Here we go.
Nate:	One, two, three. [everyone jumps] Still some people not jumping.
Jim Halpert:	You gotta be kidding me. Who isn't jumping?
Dwight Schrute:	I'll tell you who. Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley, Angela, and Oscar.
Phyllis:	I am jumping.
Dwight Schrute:	You are?
Phyllis:	Yes, I am jumping.
Dwight Schrute:	Let me see you jump. [Phyllis barely jumps] Oh, my God. This is a store bought-camera. This isn't one of those special military-grade cameras that would be able to capture that.
Pam Beesly:	I'm freezing
Nate:	Um, also, Erin is jumping way too early. She's on the ground by 'three'.
Erin:	I didn't want to miss it.
Andy:	Well, if we all jump really high, we'll be in the air longer. Do that.
Oscar:	Here's a question nobody's asking: Is this worth it?
Michael Scott:	Don't answer that. People, listen up and listen good. We need to just get one picture where we're all in the air at the same time. Yes?
Oscar:	Why?
Michael Scott:	I believe in us. We can do this. Here we go.
Nate:	Okay, on three. Uh, everyone in the air. Three, [some people jump] two, [others jump] one, [others jump] zero. [everyone begins to yell]
	[cut to the talking head]
Michael Scott:	We didn't get it.

Oscar:	Pam, just for the record I think you're over-reacting a little bit. Your mom's old enough to make her own decisions.
Pam Beesly:	Oh, well, thanks Oscar. I was just wondering, how would you feel if Michael was sleeping with your mom.
Oscar:	My mother's in a wheelchair.
Pam Beesly:	Well he could still... I'm sorry about that.
	[Pam starts walking away but turns around]
Pam Beesly:	Oh could I just get you to sign this second page.

Oscar:	[to Michael] I made egg salad sandwiches. Do you want one?
Michael Scott:	Could you have picked something stinkier to bring on a plane? My God, Oscar, really. Do you have a bag of baby poop in there, too, to share with everybody? No, I'll be ordering my own food. Thank you very much. [turns to talk to flight attendant] Hi, um, I'd like to see a menu, please.
Flight Attendant:	Oh, I'm sorry. There are no meals on flights less than two hours.
Michael Scott:	Oh, ok. [looks back at Oscar regretfully]

Jim Halpert:	Oooh! Can't wait for this day to be over.
Kelly:	Why.
Jim Halpert:	Just all the drama.
Kelly:	What drama.
Jim Halpert:	Between the... us and you guys... It's unnecessary right?
Kelly:	So unnecessary.
Jim Halpert:	Oh good, so glad you said that. [walks over]
Kelly:	You know maybe if the salesmen, weren't acting like such a bunch of stuck up losers, this day wouldn't be so bad. You ever think of that?
	[long pause]
Jim Halpert:	I have new baby pictures. [takes out cell phone]
Oscar:	Jim.
Kelly:	Don't use your cute baby, to make us like you.
Jim Halpert:	She's wearing a onesie.
	[Kelly braces Oscar]

Michael Scott:	We'll ask PowerPoint.....
Oscar:	Michael, this is a presentation tool.
Michael Scott:	You're a presentation tool!

Oscar:	What are you doing?
Kevin:	I'm trying to decide if I have time to pee.
Oscar:	How long do you take to pee?
Kevin:	The peeing is fast, Oscar. It's getting my tie back on.

Michael Scott:	I'm going in for a procedure today.
Oscar:	Is everything ok?
Michael Scott:	Yeah. It's routine. I'm just a little bit scared.
Oscar:	I'm sure everything will be fine. What's the procedure if you don't mind my asking?
Michael Scott:	It is a colonoscopy.
Oscar:	Ok.
Michael Scott:	In your experience, what should I be expecting, in terms of sensation. Or, emotions. [pause] Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me or for Dr. Shandri. My main concern is should I have a safe word?
Oscar:	Yeah. [walks out of the office]

Michael Scott:	Daddy's here and Daddy is going to take care of you.
Oscar:	Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy.
Michael Scott:	I am your big daddy and I am gonna kiss de booboo.
Andy:	Andy is afwaid.
Michael Scott:	Andy afwaid?
Andy:	Yes.
Michael Scott:	Are you all afwaid?
Dwight Schrute:	No.
Michael Scott:	Daddy here for youu. My wittle angels.

Oscar:	You have your cats on Nanny Cam.
Angela:	Yeah! I mean I usually try to take leave when I get a new cat but I'm out of vacation days. And this company still doesn't recognize cat maternity. I mean somebody has a kid, oh sure, take off a year.
Meredith:	She's right I had my second kid just for the vacation.
Angela:	Right! Anyways, I just want to make sure Princess Lady is acclimating well. She means more to me than anyone.
Kevin:	Any cat, you mean.
Angela:	And person.

Oscar:	[of Mexican descent] I can play, if you need any help.
Michael Scott:	I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we ever decide to box.

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Oscar Quotes From The Office

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