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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Oscar Quotes

Oscar Quotes From The Office

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Oscar: When I was younger I always wanted to be an actor in commericals then I realized I had a brain.
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Oscar: Andy I feel like a tourist in my own city! I literally can't wait to wake up every morning.
Pam Halpert: Ohkay.
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Stanley: Michael don't listen to them.
Michael Scott: Thank you Stanley.
Stanley: You just ignore their carping.
Michael Scott: Ok.
Dwight Schrute: Michael.
Michael Scott: Yes.
Dwight Schrute: A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. They're mocking you with wordplay.
Creed: Hey Boss. Did you "Find Nemo"?
Michael Scott: I could name Pixar movies too. Toy Story!
Oscar: Don't you mean, Coy Story?
[everyone laughs]
Phyllis: And when you fell in, did you Flounder?
Dwight Schrute: Michael, a flounder is both a kind of fish--
Michael Scott: I know what a flounder is!
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Pam Beesly: [to the accountants] Hey guys, we're all going to visit Merridith and some of us are pitching in a few dollars for flowers.
Kevin: Who's 'we'? You and Jim?
Pam Beesly: No, so far Phylis, Stanley and I.
Kevin: Oh, I bet Jim goes too.
Pam Beesly: Yeah, I haven't asked him yet.
Kevin: I bet you ask.
Pam Beesly: I was planning on it.
Kevin: I bet you were.
Oscar: [an aside to Kevin, whispering] Stop.
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Ryan: My mom makes the best pesto in the world. And I always tell her, "Mom you should sell this. You'd make a fortune." And she always says, "No. It's just for family." Well, finally I was like **** it, I'll sell it. So I'm like, "Mom, I need you to make a ton of pesto for a pesto party for all my friends." She's like, "Oh, okay." Pesto party, really? Anyway, she makes like a hundred bottles worth. It's so good. And Phyllis just had that Mom look I wanted.
[later]
Oscar: Where did you get this? [cut to a table filled with salsa with a label of a picture of Oscar, wearing a sombrero.]
Ryan: My mom also makes the best salsa.
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Oscar: Yes, I am super cool. I am an accountant at a failing paper supply company. In Scranton. Much like, uh, Sir Ian McKellen.
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Oscar Martinez: Michael, I'm reading.
Michael Scott: What are you reading?
Oscar Martinez: The Atlantic.
Michael Scott: Oh! That is my favorite ocean. I love it.
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Oscar: [to Michael] I made egg salad sandwiches. Do you want one?
Michael Scott: Could you have picked something stinkier to bring on a plane? My God, Oscar, really. Do you have a bag of baby poop in there, too, to share with everybody? No, I'll be ordering my own food. Thank you very much. [turns to talk to flight attendant] Hi, um, I'd like to see a menu, please.
Flight Attendant: Oh, I'm sorry. There are no meals on flights less than two hours.
Michael Scott: Oh, ok. [looks back at Oscar regretfully]
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Andy: [during the meeting] I'll drop an ethics bomb on you. Would you steal bread to feed your family. [oscar waits] Boom!
Oscar: Exactly, Andy.
Andy: Yeah. I took Intro to Philosophy, twice! No big deal.
Dwight Schrute: It's a trick question. The bread is poisoned. Also, it's not your real family. You've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male.
Andy: No that's... not how it works.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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