Oscar Quotes From The Office
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| Oscar: | Michael, are you having money problems? |
| Michael Scott: | Monkey problems. No I'm not having monkey problems. Why would I have monkey problems. |
| Oscar: | You heard me correctly. |
| Michael Scott: | Ohhh I hate monkeys. |
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| Michael Scott: | I am going to give you a little blast from the past of Michael Gary Scott when he was a child star, and a show that you might remember called 'Fundle Bundle.' Okay? Without further ado, Ryan? |
| Miss Trudy: | [from TV] ...Bundle, are you ready to come on in? [TV children cheer] Let's have some fun! |
| Michael Scott: | That... is Miss Trudy. Can't tell from the costume, but she had an amazing body. Okay, you can... fast forward. And... I want you... to... |
| Dwight Schrute: | Is that a real fun shooting windmill? |
| Michael Scott: | Stop! Stop! Stop! [Ryan resumes the tape] Yes! That is, uh, Edward R. Meow. |
| Jim Halpert: | That's pretty funny. |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah. |
| Edward R. Meow: | ...Recess! Hey, what's your name? |
| Chet: | My name's Chet. |
| Edward R. Meow: | Well hi Chet. |
| Oscar: | Is that Chet Montgomery? |
| Michael Scott: | Uhh, I don't know. |
| Pam Beesly: | That is! |
| Darryl: | Checkin' in with Chet. Doppler's up. |
| Edward R. Meow: | What do you want to be when you grow up? |
| Chet: | I want to be on TV! |
| Dwight Schrute: | [employees chuckle] And he is on TV now! |
| Michael Scott: | Can everyone please shut up, please! So you don't miss it. |
| Edward R. Meow: | Okay, next? So, what's your name? |
| Michael Scott: | Oh! That's me. Shh. Shh. |
| Edward R. Meow: | Well what's your favorite subject at school? |
| Young Michael Scott: | Recess. |
| Edward R. Meow: | Ree-cesss. So tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up? |
| Young Michael Scott: | I want to be married and have a hundred kids so I can have a hundred friends, and no one can say no to being my friend. |
| Edward R. Meow: | [jaw drops, awkward pause] Uh, ah... oh, okay! Well uh, nice talking with you, Michael. Uh, back to you Miss Trudy! |
| Miss Trudy: | Hi everyone, it's one of my favorite times of the day. |
| Michael Scott: | Coulda sworn there was... |
| Melissa: | Did you get married? |
| Michael Scott: | ...uh, no. |
| Abby: | Why not? |
| Michael Scott: | Uh, just never happened. |
| Sasha: | So, do you have any kids? |
| Michael Scott: | Uh, nope. |
| Jake: | Do you have a girlfriend? |
| Michael Scott: | I do okay. |
| Melissa: | Was Chet Montgomery cool back then? |
| Michael Scott: | Yes. |
| Jake: | Even I have a girlfriend. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay! Alright, okay. |
| Sasha: | So you didn't get to be what you wanted to be. |
| Michael Scott: | ...I guess not... you know, I have a load of work to do so I am going to grab a slice of this delish pizza... and I'm going to go do my work. Bye. |
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| Oscar: | How can you live with yourself? |
| Michael Scott: | I am what I am, Oscar. And I want what I want. And right now I want a piece of cake. From now on, when I'm hungry I am going to eat whatever I'm hungry for. |
| Kevin: | That is a dangerous game, friendo. |
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| Michael Scott: | You didn't actually think that I was gonna spend 60 bucks on pizza. |
| Oscar: | [in the background] It's not pizza! |
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| Oscar: | I have a question. |
| Michael Scott: | [whispering to Joe Bennett] Oscar, homosexual accountant. |
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| Kevin: | Talk to him. |
| Oscar: | Michael there's a very big difference between these two pizza places, both in quality of ingredients, and overall taste. |
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| Angela: | I am proud to announce there is a new addition to the Martin family. She's hypoallergenic, she doesn't struggle when you try to dress her, she's a third generation show-cat, her father was in Meet the Parents. Needless to say she was very, very expensive. |
| Meredith: | How much-- |
| Angela: | Seven thousand dollars. |
| Creed: | For a cat? I could get you a kid for that. |
| Oscar: | Where'd you get that kind of money? |
| Angela: | I sold Andy's engagement ring on eBay. |
| Kevin: | Wait-- you didn't give it back? |
| Angela: | He wouldn't have wanted that. Her name, is Princess Lady! |
| Meredith: | Seven grand! I gotta see that little bitch. |
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| Andy: | Totally gonna slaughter at the weigh-in today. |
| Oscar: | All I had this weekend to eat was a chicken breast and a case of Diet Coke. |
| Andy: | Really? 'Cause I haven't eaten anything since noon on Friday. |
| Oscar: | Ok. |
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| Oscar: | When I was younger I always wanted to be an actor in commericals then I realized I had a brain. |
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| Oscar: | The long term problem is bad investments, that they need to dump. The short term problem is the company has no cash and there's no where to get it. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay, Oscar. I don't need the whole enchilada just the bullet points. |
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| Michael Scott: | [singing] I got a big box yes I do! I got a big box how 'bout you! |
| Erin: | I got a big box yes I do, I got a big box how 'bout you! [to Oscar] |
| Oscar: | I think you don't know what you're saying. |
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| Oscar | [to camera] Robert seems great. He's very handsome. Firm handshake. He's gay. Good sense of humor. |