Oscar Quotes From The Office

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Jim: Holly, will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Stanley: Marry me, Holly.
Holly: No.
Michael Scott: That guy's got more than he can handle as it is.
Oscar: Will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Michael Scott: That marriage would be a sham.
Gabe: Will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Michael Scott: Easy no.
Angela: Will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Michael Scott: That would be hot. I would pay to see that.
Ryan: Will you marry me, Holly?
Holly: No.
Michael Scott: Only one that I was kind of worried about.
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Kevin: I wouldn't last in jail, Oscar, I'm not like you.
Oscar: What's that supposed to mean?
Kevin: Oh you don't know about jail? Oh you would LOVE jail.
Oscar: Why would I love jail.
Kevin: Because-- [thinks for a second] you would love it. [smiles at camera]
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Michael Scott: You didn't actually think that I was gonna spend 60 bucks on pizza.
Oscar: [in the background] It's not pizza!
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Oscar: Jim, did Michael fall into a koi pond?
Jim Halpert: Mmmmm... it's like Michael said, it was, um... some--something else.
Michael Scott: It was--okay!--this is what it was. It was these bunch of idiots who put a fish tank in the ground with no cover, and no railing.
Angela: So you fell in.
Michael Scott: No, maybe I was trying to save a child that had fallen in.
Angela: So a child had fallen in?
Michael Scott: Not yet!
Kevin: That is hilarious! [raises fist]
Michael Scott: No--don't--I'm not going to bump. I'm not gonna bump. It was not hilarious. It was very, very terrifying.
[Stanley laughs]
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Oscar: Once, once one in a while, I, I'll take a long lunch break.
Michael Scott: A siesta!
Dwight Schrute: Time thief! Time thief! Fire him!
Jim Halpert: Dwight, you've really never stolen any company time?
Dwight Schrute: Never!
Michael Scott: You are a thief of joy.
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Jim Halpert: If you were a real star you'd put your face in it.
Michael Scott: I love it more!
Oscar: But that doesn't seem.. safe.
Michael Scott: [to camera] IIII love it!
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Holly: Hey, Oscar. Who's that woman in Michael's office with the feet? [Camera shoots over to Michael massaging Jan's feet]
Oscar: Oh, that's his ex.
Holly: Oh, she's very beautiful.
Oscar: Yes, and clinically insane.
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Kevin: Talk to him.
Oscar: Michael there's a very big difference between these two pizza places, both in quality of ingredients, and overall taste.
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Michael Scott: Daddy's here and Daddy is going to take care of you.
Oscar: Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy.
Michael Scott: I am your big daddy and I am gonna kiss de booboo.
Andy: Andy is afwaid.
Michael Scott: Andy afwaid?
Andy: Yes.
Michael Scott: Are you all afwaid?
Dwight Schrute: No.
Michael Scott: Daddy here for youu. My wittle angels.
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Andy: [during the meeting] I'll drop an ethics bomb on you. Would you steal bread to feed your family. [oscar waits] Boom!
Oscar: Exactly, Andy.
Andy: Yeah. I took Intro to Philosophy, twice! No big deal.
Dwight Schrute: It's a trick question. The bread is poisoned. Also, it's not your real family. You've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male.
Andy: No that's... not how it works.
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