Oscar Quotes From The Office
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| Michael Scott: | Did you ever have intercourse in this office? |
| [Dwight says nothing] | |
| Oscar: | Are you serious? [scoffs disgustedly] Where? |
| [Dwight stares at Oscar] | |
| Oscar: | [aggressively] Where? |
| [Dwight continues to stare] | |
| Oscar: | [now grimacing] Where Dwight? |
| Dwight Schrute: | It seems like you already know where. |
| [Oscar silently covers his mouth] |
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| Oscar: | It sounds like a get-rich-quick scheme. |
| Michael Scott: | Yes! Thank you! You will get rich quick. We all will! |
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| Oscar: | I love a good quitting story. It makes me feel like I have control over my own life. Gives me hope! Maybe I'll have one of my own someday. But I dream... so... |
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| Oscar: | [of Mexican descent] I can play, if you need any help. |
| Michael Scott: | I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we ever decide to box. |
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| Oscar: | I wonder how many phone calls you're missing while you're teaching us to answer calls. |
| Kelly: | I know, right? Probably a lot. |
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| Kevin: | I wouldn't last in jail, Oscar, I'm not like you. |
| Oscar: | What's that supposed to mean? |
| Kevin: | Oh you don't know about jail? Oh you would LOVE jail. |
| Oscar: | Why would I love jail. |
| Kevin: | Because-- [thinks for a second] you would love it. [smiles at camera] |
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| Michael Scott: | Okay, I have an announcement. |
| Oscar: | You pushed Darryl out the window. |
| Michael Scott: | No-- |
| Phyllis: | You shot Dwight. |
| Michael Scott: | No, no. That is not funny, I love my employees. Even though, I hit one of you with my car-- for which I take whole responsiblity. |