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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Oscar Quotes

Oscar Quotes From The Office

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Oscar: Michael, are you having money problems?
Michael Scott: Monkey problems. No I'm not having monkey problems. Why would I have monkey problems.
Oscar: You heard me correctly.
Michael Scott: Ohhh I hate monkeys.
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Michael Scott: I am going to give you a little blast from the past of Michael Gary Scott when he was a child star, and a show that you might remember called 'Fundle Bundle.' Okay? Without further ado, Ryan?
Miss Trudy: [from TV] ...Bundle, are you ready to come on in? [TV children cheer] Let's have some fun!
Michael Scott: That... is Miss Trudy. Can't tell from the costume, but she had an amazing body. Okay, you can... fast forward. And... I want you... to...
Dwight Schrute: Is that a real fun shooting windmill?
Michael Scott: Stop! Stop! Stop! [Ryan resumes the tape] Yes! That is, uh, Edward R. Meow.
Jim Halpert: That's pretty funny.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Edward R. Meow: ...Recess! Hey, what's your name?
Chet: My name's Chet.
Edward R. Meow: Well hi Chet.
Oscar: Is that Chet Montgomery?
Michael Scott: Uhh, I don't know.
Pam Beesly: That is!
Darryl: Checkin' in with Chet. Doppler's up.
Edward R. Meow: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Chet: I want to be on TV!
Dwight Schrute: [employees chuckle] And he is on TV now!
Michael Scott: Can everyone please shut up, please! So you don't miss it.
Edward R. Meow: Okay, next? So, what's your name?
Michael Scott: Oh! That's me. Shh. Shh.
Edward R. Meow: Well what's your favorite subject at school?
Young Michael Scott: Recess.
Edward R. Meow: Ree-cesss. So tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Young Michael Scott: I want to be married and have a hundred kids so I can have a hundred friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.
Edward R. Meow: [jaw drops, awkward pause] Uh, ah... oh, okay! Well uh, nice talking with you, Michael. Uh, back to you Miss Trudy!
Miss Trudy: Hi everyone, it's one of my favorite times of the day.
Michael Scott: Coulda sworn there was...
Melissa: Did you get married?
Michael Scott: ...uh, no.
Abby: Why not?
Michael Scott: Uh, just never happened.
Sasha: So, do you have any kids?
Michael Scott: Uh, nope.
Jake: Do you have a girlfriend?
Michael Scott: I do okay.
Melissa: Was Chet Montgomery cool back then?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Jake: Even I have a girlfriend.
Michael Scott: Okay! Alright, okay.
Sasha: So you didn't get to be what you wanted to be.
Michael Scott: ...I guess not... you know, I have a load of work to do so I am going to grab a slice of this delish pizza... and I'm going to go do my work. Bye.
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Oscar: How can you live with yourself?
Michael Scott: I am what I am, Oscar. And I want what I want. And right now I want a piece of cake. From now on, when I'm hungry I am going to eat whatever I'm hungry for.
Kevin: That is a dangerous game, friendo.
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Michael Scott: You didn't actually think that I was gonna spend 60 bucks on pizza.
Oscar: [in the background] It's not pizza!
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Oscar: I have a question.
Michael Scott: [whispering to Joe Bennett] Oscar, homosexual accountant.
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Kevin: Talk to him.
Oscar: Michael there's a very big difference between these two pizza places, both in quality of ingredients, and overall taste.
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Angela: I am proud to announce there is a new addition to the Martin family. She's hypoallergenic, she doesn't struggle when you try to dress her, she's a third generation show-cat, her father was in Meet the Parents. Needless to say she was very, very expensive.
Meredith: How much--
Angela: Seven thousand dollars.
Creed: For a cat? I could get you a kid for that.
Oscar: Where'd you get that kind of money?
Angela: I sold Andy's engagement ring on eBay.
Kevin: Wait-- you didn't give it back?
Angela: He wouldn't have wanted that. Her name, is Princess Lady!
Meredith: Seven grand! I gotta see that little bitch.
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Andy: Totally gonna slaughter at the weigh-in today.
Oscar: All I had this weekend to eat was a chicken breast and a case of Diet Coke.
Andy: Really? 'Cause I haven't eaten anything since noon on Friday.
Oscar: Ok.
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Oscar: When I was younger I always wanted to be an actor in commericals then I realized I had a brain.
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Oscar: The long term problem is bad investments, that they need to dump. The short term problem is the company has no cash and there's no where to get it.
Michael Scott: Okay, Oscar. I don't need the whole enchilada just the bullet points.
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Michael Scott: [singing] I got a big box yes I do! I got a big box how 'bout you!
Erin: I got a big box yes I do, I got a big box how 'bout you! [to Oscar]
Oscar: I think you don't know what you're saying.
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Oscar [to camera] Robert seems great. He's very handsome. Firm handshake. He's gay. Good sense of humor.
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