Oscar Quotes From The Office

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Oscar: What are you microwaving!
Phyllis: Popcorn.
Pam Beesly: Why don't you use the microwave in the kitchen Phyllis?
Phyllis: Someone needs to clean it, it smells like popcorn.
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Kevin: [looking through Luke's groceries] Wait. Soy ice cream. Did you get real ice cream?
Pam Beesly: Or enough for everyone?
Luke: No man there was no list. But I got Bagel Chips.
Oscar: Oh my favorite part of an ice cream party. Bagel Chips!
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Jim Halpert: It's under here as "Security Guard Home" did you not get his name or?
Toby: No.
Jim Halpert: It's ringing. Does anyone have his name? Quick?
Andy: Yes. It's Eddy.
Jim Halpert: It's not- it's not Eddy. It's Edmund or--
Creed: Hank. His name is Hank.
Jim Halpert: Oh guys his name's not Hank it's uh.. is it Edgar?
Phyllis: Elliot.
Oscar: Elliot!
Jim Halpert: Is it Elli-- [to cell phone] Hey... Chief. This is uh, Jim Halpert from, um, where you work. [staggered] You are the guy who sits behind the desk, you're- you're the a-African American guy. I mean you're uhh-- Who have I got here?
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Michael Scott: Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime, and you could tell me... how you do that to another dude.
Oscar: That sounds like a great, wonderful idea. Let's do that.
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Oscar: What are you doing?
Kevin: I'm trying to decide if I have time to pee.
Oscar: How long do you take to pee?
Kevin: The peeing is fast, Oscar. It's getting my tie back on.
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Oscar: I'll look on Web MD. What are your symptoms?
Angela: Oh everybody, Oscar found a reason to look on Web MD.
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Oscar: Creed?
'Young' Creed: Yes sir!
Oscar: Everything okay?
'Young' Creed: Everything's cool dude.
[cut to interview]
'Young' Creed: I'm thirty. Well, in November I'll be thirty.
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Andy: Guys, stop everything. I'm about to ask out this girl and I'm completely panicking.
Oscar: [walking away] Oh my desk is over....
Creed: This gal. She's really into you?
Andy: Yeah! Yeah, I mean, I've seen her like three times today and we love all the same music, and whenever I walk into a room she totally looks up...
Creed: Ah ah. Say no more. This is how I got Sqeaky Fromme. No small talk. Just show her who's the boss. Just go right in and kiss her.
Andy: Ok it sounds risky...
Creed: Have I ever steered you wrong, Jim?
Andy: [thinking] Wait what?
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Robert California Jim your daughter Cecilia, what does she think of the Street?
Jim Halpert Uh... the street?
Robert California Sesame Street.
Jim Halpert Oh! I didn't know anybody called it--she likes it a lot. She loves Elmo.
Robert California Elmo. God save us... the Elmo era. Sesame Street was created to reflect the environment of the children watching it. The complete self-absorption of Elmo is brilliantly reflective of our time. Our's is a cultural ghetto. Wouldn't you agree?
Jim Halpert Yeah... she does like Elmo.
Oscar Cultural ghetto... Totally agree.
Phyllis Completely.
Darryl Apt. Apt analysis, Robert.
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Dwight Schrute: "From the desk of Andrew Bernard." [scoffs] A note! Pathetic. "Dear Dwight, by now you have received my note, how are you? I am well. You are no doubt wondering why I have left this note. It has come to my attention that any physical match with you I would surely be bested." True. "The soft underbelly of my refined upbringing is my underbelly."
Kelly: [watching Dwight outside from inside the conference room] There's Andy! He's in his car. You guys what is he doing?
Phyllis: Why isn't Dwight turning around?
Oscar: The Prius is silent if he keeps it under 5 miles per hour. He deserves the win.
[Pam and Stanley enter the conference room]
Pam Beesly: Oh my God!
Stanley: What's happening?
Phyllis: Andy's running over Dwight with his car.
[collective scream from the office]
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons