Oscar Quotes From The Office
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| Oscar: | Hi everyone. |
| Kevin: | Oh hello Oscar. How was your gay-cation? |
| Oscar: | That's very funny. |
| Kevin: | Yeah? I thought of that like two seconds after you left. |
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| ["Bring my troops home save and sound, says this little girl..."] | |
| Andy: | Ok, honest feedback time. Oscar? |
| Oscar: | It's pandering. And it makes me think you think I'm stupid. |
| Andy: | But do you think it could be famous? Like in a car commercial or something? |
| Pam Halpert: | Not really? It kinda weird, that a grown man is singing from the point of view of a little girl. |
| Andy: | I feel like I could see someone ice skating to it. You know like in the Olympics. |
| Ryan: | [scratching his head] I don't think they usually, skate to such... bad songs. |
| Andy: | Rude! And not helpful. |
| Creed: | Well I really really really really like it. |
| Andy: | Well that... that really bums me out. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Wait! Come on! Let's listen to Dwight's presentation. |
| [Dwight winks at Pam] | |
| Oscar: | Wh- what are you winking for? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Zipyourlid! |
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| Kevin: | [looking through Luke's groceries] Wait. Soy ice cream. Did you get real ice cream? |
| Pam Beesly: | Or enough for everyone? |
| Luke: | No man there was no list. But I got Bagel Chips. |
| Oscar: | Oh my favorite part of an ice cream party. Bagel Chips! |
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| Pam Beesly: | Angela made several 911 calls about cars going too fast in front of the building. So the police put up a radar gun. It's actually caused a bit of a traffic hazard. |
| Dwight Schrute: | [running] AHHHHH!!! |
| Phylis: | Wow! Thirteen! [breaking Michael's previous record of 12] |
| Michael Scott: | No, no. There was wind. |
| Dwight Schrute: | I was just jogging. |
| Michael Scott: | Dwight, there was wind. I want a do-over. |
| Jim Halpert: | No. It's not your turn. Okay, thirteen is the new number. Oscar go ahead. [Oscar is preparing to run] |
| Michael Scott | I want another try. Here we go. [Michael starts running just as a car drives by] Thirty-one! Thirty-one! |
| Stanley: | That was the car. |
| Michael Scott: | I was ahead of the car. Thirty-one is my new number. |
| Oscar: | Thirty-one is humanly impossible. |
| Michael Scott: | Go, Oscar. Thirty-one is my new number. |
| Oscar: | That's impossible. |
| Michael Scott: | Beat it! |
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| Oscar: | Great. They stole my laptop. |
| Kevin: | Yeah, well, they stole my surge protector. |
| Oscar: | How does that even compare! |
| Kevin: | Oscar I'm now going to be prone to surges. |
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| Meredith: | Hey what's up lifeguard? |
| Oscar: | Jim I think I'm in your way [mocks Jim and walks away] |
| Michael Scott: | Oscar's a douche. |
| Jim Halpert: | [laughs] Naw, he's alright. |
| Michael Scott: | Naw, he's a... no he's alright. |
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| Oscar: | What are you microwaving! |
| Phyllis: | Popcorn. |
| Pam Beesly: | Why don't you use the microwave in the kitchen Phyllis? |
| Phyllis: | Someone needs to clean it, it smells like popcorn. |
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| Oscar: | Once, once one in a while, I, I'll take a long lunch break. |
| Michael Scott: | A siesta! |
| Dwight Schrute: | Time thief! Time thief! Fire him! |
| Jim Halpert: | Dwight, you've really never stolen any company time? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Never! |
| Michael Scott: | You are a thief of joy. |
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| [at the bar] | |
| Oscar: | I'm probably going to leave after one drink. |
| Andy: | Yeah, with a hot slab of Canadian bacon in your hand. |
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| Meredith: | Hey, has anything happened yet? |
| Oscar: | It's 4:10. I don't think he's gonna show. |
| Kevin: | Oh, come on man! Believe in something. |