Oscar Quotes From The Office
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| Oscar: | Hi everyone. |
| Kevin: | Oh hello Oscar. How was your gay-cation? |
| Oscar: | That's very funny. |
| Kevin: | Yeah? I thought of that like two seconds after you left. |
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| Oscar: | Once, once one in a while, I, I'll take a long lunch break. |
| Michael Scott: | A siesta! |
| Dwight Schrute: | Time thief! Time thief! Fire him! |
| Jim Halpert: | Dwight, you've really never stolen any company time? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Never! |
| Michael Scott: | You are a thief of joy. |
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| Michael Scott: | Holly and I are moving in together. Oscar this must be tough for you, watching this go down. You could not stand in the way of true love my friend. |
| Oscar: | Are you kidding? I wasn't trying to break you guys up. |
| Kevin: | Better luck next time pal! |
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| Oscar: | Sorry I yelled. |
| Pam Halpert: | You could have just told us what you were thinking. |
| Oscar: | There's no theater in that. |
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| Oscar: | Why are you telling us this? |
| Michael Scott: | Because I want you to behave as if I'm actually firing him, Oscar, ok? |
| Kevin: | Michael if you hadn't told us this, then we would've thought that you were actually firing-- |
| Michael Scott: | I'm not firing him-- I'm not-- I need you to act like I am firing him. Just, what I am going to do is I'm going to pretend that I am firing him and I need you to act like I am firing him. Do you get that? Do you get it? I'm teaching him a lesson. He needs to learn humility. Alright? |
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| Oscar: | I want to get that image out of my head. The psychological issues that go behind licking a cat, are not things I want to go into. Also I'm pretty sure she coughed up a hairball. |
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| Michael Scott: | Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime, and you could tell me... how you do that to another dude. |
| Oscar: | That sounds like a great, wonderful idea. Let's do that. |
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| Stanley: | I didn't think the premium laser color copy batch would see as well as it did. |
| Oscar: | It surprised us all and I'll tell you why- |
| Kelly: | I'm sorry guys. Can we please not talk about paper? There's gotta be something else we can talk about. |
| [silence] |
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| Michael Scott: | Meredith, have you ever used alcohol to alter your mood or deliberitely change your state of mind? |
| Meredith: | Sure. |
| Michael Scott: | Do you sometimes have a drink to celebrate a special occasion or mark a holiday? |
| Meredith: | Obviously. |
| Michael Scott: | Have you ever, under the influence of alcohol, questioned the teachings of the Mormon church? |
| Oscar: | Where did you get this? |
| Michael Scott: | I got it on a website. That's not important. |