Michael Scott:	Okay, I have an announcement.
Oscar:	You pushed Darryl out the window.
Michael Scott:	No--
Phyllis:	You shot Dwight.
Michael Scott:	No, no. That is not funny, I love my employees. Even though, I hit one of you with my car-- for which I take whole responsiblity.

Michael Scott:	[to Oscar] Wait! You're forgetting something...
Oscar:	What?
Michael Scott:	This chat. Two men. One White, one Latina. A boss and a money cruncher. I could fire you.
Erin:	Fire him! [Oscar gives her a bad look] No, show mercy.

Oscar:	Sorry I yelled.
Pam Halpert:	You could have just told us what you were thinking.
Oscar:	There's no theater in that.

Michael Scott:	Come here. [talking about Pam] I would never say this to her face, but she is a wonderful person and a gifted artist.
Oscar:	What? Why wouldn't you say that to her face?

Dwight Schrute:	[drawing a map on the white board] Schrute farms is very easy to find. It's right in the middle of the root vegetable district. If the soil starts to get acidic, you've gone too far.
Ryan:	Just give us the address. We'll look it up online.
Dwight Schrute:	It's simpler this way.
Oscar:	It's really not.

Oscar:	So, Pam told me you do a great Stanley impression. I'd love to hear it.
Jim Halpert:	Oh, um. [imitating Stanley] Why do you keep CC'ing me on things that have nothing to do with me?
Stanley:	[coming out of the bathroom] Is that supposed to be me?
Jim Halpert:	Oh, hey Stanley. I was just doing an impression.
Stanley:	I do not think that is funny.
Pam Beasley:	He does everyone in the office.
	[Stanley leaves]
Jim and Pam:	[both imitating Stanley] I do not think that is funny.
Pam Beasley:	Jinx, buy me a Coke.
Jim Halpert:	Oh--
Pam Beasley:	No no no. No talking.

Oscar:	You have your cats on Nanny Cam.
Angela:	Yeah! I mean I usually try to take leave when I get a new cat but I'm out of vacation days. And this company still doesn't recognize cat maternity. I mean somebody has a kid, oh sure, take off a year.
Meredith:	She's right I had my second kid just for the vacation.
Angela:	Right! Anyways, I just want to make sure Princess Lady is acclimating well. She means more to me than anyone.
Kevin:	Any cat, you mean.
Angela:	And person.

Ryan:	What I really want, honestly, Michael is for you to know it so that you can communicate it to the people here, to your clients, whomever.
Michael Scott:	Oh okay.
Ryan:	What?
Michael Scott:	It's whoever, not whomever.
Ryan:	It's whomever.
Michael Scott:	No, whomever is never acutally right.
Jim Halpert:	Nope, sometimes it's right.
Creed:	Michael is right. It's a made up word used to trick students-
Andy:	No. Actually, whomever is the formal version of the word--
Oscar:	Obviously it's a real word- but I don't know how to use it correctly.
Michael Scott:	[to camera] Not a native speaker.
Kevin:	I know what's right. But I'm not gonna say. Because you're all jerks who didn't come see my band last night.
Ryan:	Do you really know which one is correct?
Kevin:	I don't know.
Pam Beesly:	It's whom when it's the object of the sentence and who when as the subject.
Phyllis:	That sounds right.
Michael Scott:	Well it sounds right but is it?
Stanley:	How did Ryan use it, as an object?
Ryan:	As an object.
Kelly:	Ryan used me as an object.
Oscar:	Is he right about that--
Pam Beesly:	How did he use it again?
Toby:	It was, Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to explain the computer system, the object--
Michael Scott:	Thank you!
Toby:	...to whomever, meaning us, the indirect object. Which is the, the correct usage of the word.
Michael Scott:	No one, uh asked you anything ever so whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it in your skull?

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Oscar Quotes From The Office

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