Oscar Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: Come here. [talking about Pam] I would never say this to her face, but she is a wonderful person and a gifted artist.
Oscar: What? Why wouldn't you say that to her face?
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Oscar: Andy I feel like a tourist in my own city! I literally can't wait to wake up every morning.
Pam Halpert: Ohkay.
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Oscar: Yes, I am super cool. I am an accountant at a failing paper supply company. In Scranton. Much like, uh, Sir Ian McKellen.
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Stanley: Michael don't listen to them.
Michael Scott: Thank you Stanley.
Stanley: You just ignore their carping.
Michael Scott: Ok.
Dwight Schrute: Michael.
Michael Scott: Yes.
Dwight Schrute: A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. They're mocking you with wordplay.
Creed: Hey Boss. Did you "Find Nemo"?
Michael Scott: I could name Pixar movies too. Toy Story!
Oscar: Don't you mean, Coy Story?
[everyone laughs]
Phyllis: And when you fell in, did you Flounder?
Dwight Schrute: Michael, a flounder is both a kind of fish--
Michael Scott: I know what a flounder is!
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Oscar: The best present would be, you to do a good job in front of the new CFO.
Michael Scott: Duuuude, I'm gonna nail it. Me and New York? Oh, I own that city. Fo-get about it!
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Oscar: Why are you telling us this?
Michael Scott: Because I want you to behave as if I'm actually firing him, Oscar, ok?
Kevin: Michael if you hadn't told us this, then we would've thought that you were actually firing--
Michael Scott: I'm not firing him-- I'm not-- I need you to act like I am firing him. Just, what I am going to do is I'm going to pretend that I am firing him and I need you to act like I am firing him. Do you get that? Do you get it? I'm teaching him a lesson. He needs to learn humility. Alright?
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Oscar: This scary black bar is what you spend on things that no one ever, ever needs, like multiple magic sets, professional bass fishing equipment.
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Michael Scott: Okay, I have an announcement.
Oscar: You pushed Darryl out the window.
Michael Scott: No--
Phyllis: You shot Dwight.
Michael Scott: No, no. That is not funny, I love my employees. Even though, I hit one of you with my car-- for which I take whole responsiblity.
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Oscar: Great. They stole my laptop.
Kevin: Yeah, well, they stole my surge protector.
Oscar: How does that even compare!
Kevin: Oscar I'm now going to be prone to surges.
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Michael Scott: I am officially the second most watched clip of the day on the WBRE news site!
Oscar: What's number one?
Michael Scott: Oh. That teacher who was wrongfully accused of being a pedophile. Now, we cannot let the pedophile win again!
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Pam Beesly: During the course of business, a copier goes through something called normal wear and tear.
[cut to Creed depositing coins in the side of the machine]
Oscar: I think it's seventy-five cents.
Creed: That's a lot.
[cut to a Cat gnawing on the power cord]
Angela: Bandit, no! No, no, no.
[cut to Kevin spilling a whole cup of coffee on the copier glass]
Kevin: Ohh!
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons