Oscar Quotes From The Office
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| Oscar: | What are you microwaving! |
| Phyllis: | Popcorn. |
| Pam Beesly: | Why don't you use the microwave in the kitchen Phyllis? |
| Phyllis: | Someone needs to clean it, it smells like popcorn. |
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| Kevin: | [looking through Luke's groceries] Wait. Soy ice cream. Did you get real ice cream? |
| Pam Beesly: | Or enough for everyone? |
| Luke: | No man there was no list. But I got Bagel Chips. |
| Oscar: | Oh my favorite part of an ice cream party. Bagel Chips! |
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| Jim Halpert: | It's under here as "Security Guard Home" did you not get his name or? |
| Toby: | No. |
| Jim Halpert: | It's ringing. Does anyone have his name? Quick? |
| Andy: | Yes. It's Eddy. |
| Jim Halpert: | It's not- it's not Eddy. It's Edmund or-- |
| Creed: | Hank. His name is Hank. |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh guys his name's not Hank it's uh.. is it Edgar? |
| Phyllis: | Elliot. |
| Oscar: | Elliot! |
| Jim Halpert: | Is it Elli-- [to cell phone] Hey... Chief. This is uh, Jim Halpert from, um, where you work. [staggered] You are the guy who sits behind the desk, you're- you're the a-African American guy. I mean you're uhh-- Who have I got here? |
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| Michael Scott: | Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime, and you could tell me... how you do that to another dude. |
| Oscar: | That sounds like a great, wonderful idea. Let's do that. |
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| Oscar: | What are you doing? |
| Kevin: | I'm trying to decide if I have time to pee. |
| Oscar: | How long do you take to pee? |
| Kevin: | The peeing is fast, Oscar. It's getting my tie back on. |
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| Oscar: | I'll look on Web MD. What are your symptoms? |
| Angela: | Oh everybody, Oscar found a reason to look on Web MD. |
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| Oscar: | Creed? |
| 'Young' Creed: | Yes sir! |
| Oscar: | Everything okay? |
| 'Young' Creed: | Everything's cool dude. |
| [cut to interview] | |
| 'Young' Creed: | I'm thirty. Well, in November I'll be thirty. |
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| Andy: | Guys, stop everything. I'm about to ask out this girl and I'm completely panicking. |
| Oscar: | [walking away] Oh my desk is over.... |
| Creed: | This gal. She's really into you? |
| Andy: | Yeah! Yeah, I mean, I've seen her like three times today and we love all the same music, and whenever I walk into a room she totally looks up... |
| Creed: | Ah ah. Say no more. This is how I got Sqeaky Fromme. No small talk. Just show her who's the boss. Just go right in and kiss her. |
| Andy: | Ok it sounds risky... |
| Creed: | Have I ever steered you wrong, Jim? |
| Andy: | [thinking] Wait what? |
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| Robert California | Jim your daughter Cecilia, what does she think of the Street? |
| Jim Halpert | Uh... the street? |
| Robert California | Sesame Street. |
| Jim Halpert | Oh! I didn't know anybody called it--she likes it a lot. She loves Elmo. |
| Robert California | Elmo. God save us... the Elmo era. Sesame Street was created to reflect the environment of the children watching it. The complete self-absorption of Elmo is brilliantly reflective of our time. Our's is a cultural ghetto. Wouldn't you agree? |
| Jim Halpert | Yeah... she does like Elmo. |
| Oscar | Cultural ghetto... Totally agree. |
| Phyllis | Completely. |
| Darryl | Apt. Apt analysis, Robert. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | "From the desk of Andrew Bernard." [scoffs] A note! Pathetic. "Dear Dwight, by now you have received my note, how are you? I am well. You are no doubt wondering why I have left this note. It has come to my attention that any physical match with you I would surely be bested." True. "The soft underbelly of my refined upbringing is my underbelly." |
| Kelly: | [watching Dwight outside from inside the conference room] There's Andy! He's in his car. You guys what is he doing? |
| Phyllis: | Why isn't Dwight turning around? |
| Oscar: | The Prius is silent if he keeps it under 5 miles per hour. He deserves the win. |
| [Pam and Stanley enter the conference room] | |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh my God! |
| Stanley: | What's happening? |
| Phyllis: | Andy's running over Dwight with his car. |
| [collective scream from the office] |