Oscar Quotes From The Office
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| Jim: | Holly, will you marry me? |
| Holly: | No. |
| Stanley: | Marry me, Holly. |
| Holly: | No. |
| Michael Scott: | That guy's got more than he can handle as it is. |
| Oscar: | Will you marry me? |
| Holly: | No. |
| Michael Scott: | That marriage would be a sham. |
| Gabe: | Will you marry me? |
| Holly: | No. |
| Michael Scott: | Easy no. |
| Angela: | Will you marry me? |
| Holly: | No. |
| Michael Scott: | That would be hot. I would pay to see that. |
| Ryan: | Will you marry me, Holly? |
| Holly: | No. |
| Michael Scott: | Only one that I was kind of worried about. |
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| Kevin: | I wouldn't last in jail, Oscar, I'm not like you. |
| Oscar: | What's that supposed to mean? |
| Kevin: | Oh you don't know about jail? Oh you would LOVE jail. |
| Oscar: | Why would I love jail. |
| Kevin: | Because-- [thinks for a second] you would love it. [smiles at camera] |
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| Michael Scott: | You didn't actually think that I was gonna spend 60 bucks on pizza. |
| Oscar: | [in the background] It's not pizza! |
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| Oscar: | Jim, did Michael fall into a koi pond? |
| Jim Halpert: | Mmmmm... it's like Michael said, it was, um... some--something else. |
| Michael Scott: | It was--okay!--this is what it was. It was these bunch of idiots who put a fish tank in the ground with no cover, and no railing. |
| Angela: | So you fell in. |
| Michael Scott: | No, maybe I was trying to save a child that had fallen in. |
| Angela: | So a child had fallen in? |
| Michael Scott: | Not yet! |
| Kevin: | That is hilarious! [raises fist] |
| Michael Scott: | No--don't--I'm not going to bump. I'm not gonna bump. It was not hilarious. It was very, very terrifying. |
| [Stanley laughs] |
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| Oscar: | Once, once one in a while, I, I'll take a long lunch break. |
| Michael Scott: | A siesta! |
| Dwight Schrute: | Time thief! Time thief! Fire him! |
| Jim Halpert: | Dwight, you've really never stolen any company time? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Never! |
| Michael Scott: | You are a thief of joy. |
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| Jim Halpert: | If you were a real star you'd put your face in it. |
| Michael Scott: | I love it more! |
| Oscar: | But that doesn't seem.. safe. |
| Michael Scott: | [to camera] IIII love it! |
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| Holly: | Hey, Oscar. Who's that woman in Michael's office with the feet? [Camera shoots over to Michael massaging Jan's feet] |
| Oscar: | Oh, that's his ex. |
| Holly: | Oh, she's very beautiful. |
| Oscar: | Yes, and clinically insane. |
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| Kevin: | Talk to him. |
| Oscar: | Michael there's a very big difference between these two pizza places, both in quality of ingredients, and overall taste. |
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| Michael Scott: | Daddy's here and Daddy is going to take care of you. |
| Oscar: | Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy. |
| Michael Scott: | I am your big daddy and I am gonna kiss de booboo. |
| Andy: | Andy is afwaid. |
| Michael Scott: | Andy afwaid? |
| Andy: | Yes. |
| Michael Scott: | Are you all afwaid? |
| Dwight Schrute: | No. |
| Michael Scott: | Daddy here for youu. My wittle angels. |
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| Andy: | [during the meeting] I'll drop an ethics bomb on you. Would you steal bread to feed your family. [oscar waits] Boom! |
| Oscar: | Exactly, Andy. |
| Andy: | Yeah. I took Intro to Philosophy, twice! No big deal. |
| Dwight Schrute: | It's a trick question. The bread is poisoned. Also, it's not your real family. You've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male. |
| Andy: | No that's... not how it works. |