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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Oscar Quotes

Oscar Quotes From The Office

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Oscar: [in front of a image from a projector] See that? The obvious symmetry of the face. This is a natural appeal of the scientific standard of coinalphelia, features that are a composite average of many features. Yes she's attractive. But, she's not hot.
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Oscar: I'm sorry you're offended by my shoes but I'm not going to drive home to change.
Toby: I could loan you a pair of socks.
Oscar: No...
Toby: No they're clean, I was going to wear them to Volleyball practice.
Oscar: I don't think so.
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Kevin [Eating candy bar] Oh yeah!
[Everyone groans angrily]
Dwight Schrute I knew it! As soon as I heard that wrapper!
Oscar Do you really have to say "oh yeah!" every time you eat a candy bar?
Kevin I can't help it, Oscar. It's just really good! [Takes another bite] Oh yeah!
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Michael Scott: Holly and I are moving in together. Oscar this must be tough for you, watching this go down. You could not stand in the way of true love my friend.
Oscar: Are you kidding? I wasn't trying to break you guys up.
Kevin: Better luck next time pal!
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Oscar: Creed?
'Young' Creed: Yes sir!
Oscar: Everything okay?
'Young' Creed: Everything's cool dude.
[cut to interview]
'Young' Creed: I'm thirty. Well, in November I'll be thirty.
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Pam Beesly: During the course of business, a copier goes through something called normal wear and tear.
[cut to Creed depositing coins in the side of the machine]
Oscar: I think it's seventy-five cents.
Creed: That's a lot.
[cut to a Cat gnawing on the power cord]
Angela: Bandit, no! No, no, no.
[cut to Kevin spilling a whole cup of coffee on the copier glass]
Kevin: Ohh!
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Oscar: Once, once one in a while, I, I'll take a long lunch break.
Michael Scott: A siesta!
Dwight Schrute: Time thief! Time thief! Fire him!
Jim Halpert: Dwight, you've really never stolen any company time?
Dwight Schrute: Never!
Michael Scott: You are a thief of joy.
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Meredith: Hey what's up lifeguard?
Oscar: Jim I think I'm in your way [mocks Jim and walks away]
Michael Scott: Oscar's a douche.
Jim Halpert: [laughs] Naw, he's alright.
Michael Scott: Naw, he's a... no he's alright.
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Oscar: Sorry I yelled.
Pam Halpert: You could have just told us what you were thinking.
Oscar: There's no theater in that.
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Oscar: I want to get that image out of my head. The psychological issues that go behind licking a cat, are not things I want to go into. Also I'm pretty sure she coughed up a hairball.
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Kevin: Are you kidding me? Pam, and Jim, are hooking up. All they do is smile. They're just keeping it a secret. Right?
[pans to Oscar]
Oscar: I don't know. There is no evidence of intimacy. They've been in remarkably good moods, it could be other things.
Kevin: Are you kidding me!?
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Stanley: I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today. If I don't have some cake soon I might die.
Oscar: Why don't you just have an apple?
Stanley: Why don't you mind your business.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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