Oscar Quotes From The Office
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| Jim Halpert: | Hey, dude. Do you know what a rundown is? |
| Oscar: | Use it in a sentence. |
| Jim Halpert: | Uh... can you get this rundown for me? |
| Oscar: | Try another sentence. |
| Jim Halpert: | This rundown better be really good? |
| Oscar: | I don't know but it sounds like the rundown's really important. |
| Jim Halpert: | Charles asked me to do this rundown of all my clients. |
| Oscar: | Why don't you just ask him, what-- |
| Jim Halpert: | No, I can't it was like hours ago. |
| Oscar: | What have you been doing?! |
| Kevin: | Try another sentence. |
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| Oscar: | You know what we haven't done in a while? Happy hour... Upstairs, the warehouse, everybody just going out for a drink. |
| Darryl: | Has that ever happened?... ever? |
| Oscar: | Didn't we? I think we did. |
| Darryl: | You want me to invite Matt? |
| Oscar: | Yeah, the, uh the whole gang. Matt included. |
| Darryl: | Look just be straight with me man. You can be gay with Matt just, be straight with me. |
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| Dwight Shrute: | What kind of mileage does this baby get? |
| Erin: | It's like what high school kids take to prom on tv shows. |
| Oscar: | So typical of management to spend money on this. Ugh, bunch of boobs. |
| Michael Scott: | Hate to break it to you Oscar, but some of us like boobs. |
| Dwight Shrute: | Calves. [raises hand] Calves all the way. |
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| Michael Scott: | I'm going in for a procedure today. |
| Oscar: | Is everything ok? |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah. It's routine. I'm just a little bit scared. |
| Oscar: | I'm sure everything will be fine. What's the procedure if you don't mind my asking? |
| Michael Scott: | It is a colonoscopy. |
| Oscar: | Ok. |
| Michael Scott: | In your experience, what should I be expecting, in terms of sensation. Or, emotions. [pause] Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me or for Dr. Shandri. My main concern is should I have a safe word? |
| Oscar: | Yeah. [walks out of the office] |
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| Michael Scott: | Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime, and you could tell me... how you do that to another dude. |
| Oscar: | That sounds like a great, wonderful idea. Let's do that. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Michael, why do you keep looking at the front door. |
| Michael Scott: | No reason. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Is somebody after you? |
| Oscar: | Why do you always go to that? Has anyone ever been after anyone in this office. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Hey! It just takes one. |
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| Oscar | Andy, you had a great quarter. Robert will understand. $830 is like a rounding error. |
| Andy Bernard | So make that error! |
| Kevin | Hey! I can make that error! |
| Andy Bernard | Well... it's just... I know that making errors sounds like your kind of thing, but it's a little more complicated than that... |
| Kevin | [Disappointed] ...Oh... |
| Andy Bernard | I just need a real accountant on this. |
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| Oscar: | I'll look on Web MD. What are your symptoms? |
| Angela: | Oh everybody, Oscar found a reason to look on Web MD. |
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| Kevin: | I wouldn't last in jail, Oscar, I'm not like you. |
| Oscar: | What's that supposed to mean? |
| Kevin: | Oh you don't know about jail? Oh you would LOVE jail. |
| Oscar: | Why would I love jail. |
| Kevin: | Because-- [thinks for a second] you would love it. [smiles at camera] |