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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Oscar Quotes

Oscar Quotes From The Office

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Angela: [cats meowing in background][on Nanny-Cam] Where is that bad cat? Oh, you know who you are. Excuse me, Petals, I'm looking for Mr. Ash. He's a bad cat. Bad, bad cat. Do you hear me? Bad. Yeah, you were bad. No, you look at me when I talk to you. Do you hear me, Mr. Ash? You look at me. 'Cause I'm talking to you right now.
Oscar: [chuckles]
Kevin: [snickers]
Angela: [meows like a cat, then hisses]
Kevin: This is getting weird.
Oscar: Is she cleaning the cat with her tongue? [Angela licks cat, meows]
Kevin: Ohhh...
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Michael Scott: I am officially the second most watched clip of the day on the WBRE news site!
Oscar: What's number one?
Michael Scott: Oh. That teacher who was wrongfully accused of being a pedophile. Now, we cannot let the pedophile win again!
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Michael Scott: Where's Andy?
Oscar: He's on one of his honeymoons.
Michael Scott: What?
Oscar: He made non-refundable deposits. On his honeymoons. So he's just knocking them off one at a time. I think today he's hot air ballooning and later he's got a couples massage.
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Oscar: I'll look on Web MD. What are your symptoms?
Angela: Oh everybody, Oscar found a reason to look on Web MD.
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Dwight Shrute: How would one of you feel, if I told you I could put you on a fast track to an executive position at this company.
Erin: Holy cow. I'd be so happy.
Dwight Shrute: I wasn't talking to you, Pale Face.
Erin: I know, I mean I'd be happy for them!
Dwight Shrute: What I'm offering is a ticket on a bullet train, straight to middle-management.
Stanley: Dwight, I know this program. "Every color is important because together we make a rainbow."
Dwight Shrute: Yes.
Stanley: I'll slap you in the face with a rainbow.
Erin: Mmm!
Dwight Shrute: Speaking of rainbows, Oscar, you are, kind of a double minority. Gay. So, we at Sabre could really benefit from your perspective.
Oscar: Dwight. We know Kelly applied. We're not going to cross her. No matter how good the program is.
Dwight Shrute: I can protect you from Kelly.
Erin: [scoffs]
Dwight Shrute: Will you get out of here? Seriously!
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Michael Scott: Your nephew... He in good shape?
Oscar: Yeah.
Michael Scott: How many miles did he do last year?
Oscar: Last year he walked 18 miles.
Michael Scott: Son of a bitch. [covering] That is impressive. Good for him.
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Michael Scott: I am going to give you a little blast from the past of Michael Gary Scott when he was a child star, and a show that you might remember called 'Fundle Bundle.' Okay? Without further ado, Ryan?
Miss Trudy: [from TV] ...Bundle, are you ready to come on in? [TV children cheer] Let's have some fun!
Michael Scott: That... is Miss Trudy. Can't tell from the costume, but she had an amazing body. Okay, you can... fast forward. And... I want you... to...
Dwight Schrute: Is that a real fun shooting windmill?
Michael Scott: Stop! Stop! Stop! [Ryan resumes the tape] Yes! That is, uh, Edward R. Meow.
Jim Halpert: That's pretty funny.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Edward R. Meow: ...Recess! Hey, what's your name?
Chet: My name's Chet.
Edward R. Meow: Well hi Chet.
Oscar: Is that Chet Montgomery?
Michael Scott: Uhh, I don't know.
Pam Beesly: That is!
Darryl: Checkin' in with Chet. Doppler's up.
Edward R. Meow: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Chet: I want to be on TV!
Dwight Schrute: [employees chuckle] And he is on TV now!
Michael Scott: Can everyone please shut up, please! So you don't miss it.
Edward R. Meow: Okay, next? So, what's your name?
Michael Scott: Oh! That's me. Shh. Shh.
Edward R. Meow: Well what's your favorite subject at school?
Young Michael Scott: Recess.
Edward R. Meow: Ree-cesss. So tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Young Michael Scott: I want to be married and have a hundred kids so I can have a hundred friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.
Edward R. Meow: [jaw drops, awkward pause] Uh, ah... oh, okay! Well uh, nice talking with you, Michael. Uh, back to you Miss Trudy!
Miss Trudy: Hi everyone, it's one of my favorite times of the day.
Michael Scott: Coulda sworn there was...
Melissa: Did you get married?
Michael Scott: ...uh, no.
Abby: Why not?
Michael Scott: Uh, just never happened.
Sasha: So, do you have any kids?
Michael Scott: Uh, nope.
Jake: Do you have a girlfriend?
Michael Scott: I do okay.
Melissa: Was Chet Montgomery cool back then?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Jake: Even I have a girlfriend.
Michael Scott: Okay! Alright, okay.
Sasha: So you didn't get to be what you wanted to be.
Michael Scott: ...I guess not... you know, I have a load of work to do so I am going to grab a slice of this delish pizza... and I'm going to go do my work. Bye.
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Michael Scott: [on his cellphone] No, I'll talk to her. No, nobody talks to my baby that way. Yeah I'll let you know how it goes. Alright. Bye, Pickle. [hangs up and walks into the conference room] Pamela Morgan Beesly you need to apologize to your mother right now.
Angela: I'm sorry, I was told I have the floor.
Oscar: Whoa hold on, hold on. What's going on?
Jim Halpert: Nothing! Nothing at all. "It's all goood."
Pam Beesly: I'm not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes ME an apology.
Michael Scott: For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover?
Pam Beesly: Don't call my mother your lover!
Kevin: Yes! That's what I'm talking about.
Andy: That is not ok dude!
Michael Scott: Ok, in my defence--
Phyllis: Disgusting.
Creed: That's messed up man.
Pam Beesly: Yes. Thank you. Welcome to my personal hell!
Oscar: You have no sense of boundaries, Michael.
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Stanley: Michael don't listen to them.
Michael Scott: Thank you Stanley.
Stanley: You just ignore their carping.
Michael Scott: Ok.
Dwight Schrute: Michael.
Michael Scott: Yes.
Dwight Schrute: A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. They're mocking you with wordplay.
Creed: Hey Boss. Did you "Find Nemo"?
Michael Scott: I could name Pixar movies too. Toy Story!
Oscar: Don't you mean, Coy Story?
[everyone laughs]
Phyllis: And when you fell in, did you Flounder?
Dwight Schrute: Michael, a flounder is both a kind of fish--
Michael Scott: I know what a flounder is!
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Michael Scott: [packing for the hospital] Will I need a dictionary?
Oscar: No, the hospital will provide a dictionary, bring a thesaurus.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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