Oscar:	I don't see how we can possibly sell these for that little without losing money. Delivery alone will cost--
Michael Scott:	OK well sometimes, sometimes, it makes financial sense to lose money, right? Like for tax purposes?
Oscar:	Actually, I ran the numbers on this, and in this case, it makes financial sense to gain, money?
Michael Scott:	Why don't you run them again.
Jim Halpert:	What if she's just flirting with you to get a better price.
Michael Scott:	If she is it's working.

	[watching Michael in the parking lot through the window]
Andy:	What is he doing... it looks like he's saying something.
Kevin:	I think he's singing.
Oscar:	I can't believe this is really happening.

Jim Halpert:	It's under here as "Security Guard Home" did you not get his name or?
Toby:	No.
Jim Halpert:	It's ringing. Does anyone have his name? Quick?
Andy:	Yes. It's Eddy.
Jim Halpert:	It's not- it's not Eddy. It's Edmund or--
Creed:	Hank. His name is Hank.
Jim Halpert:	Oh guys his name's not Hank it's uh.. is it Edgar?
Phyllis:	Elliot.
Oscar:	Elliot!
Jim Halpert:	Is it Elli-- [to cell phone] Hey... Chief. This is uh, Jim Halpert from, um, where you work. [staggered] You are the guy who sits behind the desk, you're- you're the a-African American guy. I mean you're uhh-- Who have I got here?

Jim:	Holly, will you marry me?
Holly:	No.
Stanley:	Marry me, Holly.
Holly:	No.
Michael Scott:	That guy's got more than he can handle as it is.
Oscar:	Will you marry me?
Holly:	No.
Michael Scott:	That marriage would be a sham.
Gabe:	Will you marry me?
Holly:	No.
Michael Scott:	Easy no.
Angela:	Will you marry me?
Holly:	No.
Michael Scott:	That would be hot. I would pay to see that.
Ryan:	Will you marry me, Holly?
Holly:	No.
Michael Scott:	Only one that I was kind of worried about.

Michael Scott:	I am going to give you a little blast from the past of Michael Gary Scott when he was a child star, and a show that you might remember called 'Fundle Bundle.' Okay? Without further ado, Ryan?
Miss Trudy:	[from TV] ...Bundle, are you ready to come on in? [TV children cheer] Let's have some fun!
Michael Scott:	That... is Miss Trudy. Can't tell from the costume, but she had an amazing body. Okay, you can... fast forward. And... I want you... to...
Dwight Schrute:	Is that a real fun shooting windmill?
Michael Scott:	Stop! Stop! Stop! [Ryan resumes the tape] Yes! That is, uh, Edward R. Meow.
Jim Halpert:	That's pretty funny.
Michael Scott:	Yeah.
Edward R. Meow:	...Recess! Hey, what's your name?
Chet:	My name's Chet.
Edward R. Meow:	Well hi Chet.
Oscar:	Is that Chet Montgomery?
Michael Scott:	Uhh, I don't know.
Pam Beesly:	That is!
Darryl:	Checkin' in with Chet. Doppler's up.
Edward R. Meow:	What do you want to be when you grow up?
Chet:	I want to be on TV!
Dwight Schrute:	[employees chuckle] And he is on TV now!
Michael Scott:	Can everyone please shut up, please! So you don't miss it.
Edward R. Meow:	Okay, next? So, what's your name?
Michael Scott:	Oh! That's me. Shh. Shh.
Edward R. Meow:	Well what's your favorite subject at school?
Young Michael Scott:	Recess.
Edward R. Meow:	Ree-cesss. So tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Young Michael Scott:	I want to be married and have a hundred kids so I can have a hundred friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.
Edward R. Meow:	[jaw drops, awkward pause] Uh, ah... oh, okay! Well uh, nice talking with you, Michael. Uh, back to you Miss Trudy!
Miss Trudy:	Hi everyone, it's one of my favorite times of the day.
Michael Scott:	Coulda sworn there was...
Melissa:	Did you get married?
Michael Scott:	...uh, no.
Abby:	Why not?
Michael Scott:	Uh, just never happened.
Sasha:	So, do you have any kids?
Michael Scott:	Uh, nope.
Jake:	Do you have a girlfriend?
Michael Scott:	I do okay.
Melissa:	Was Chet Montgomery cool back then?
Michael Scott:	Yes.
Jake:	Even I have a girlfriend.
Michael Scott:	Okay! Alright, okay.
Sasha:	So you didn't get to be what you wanted to be.
Michael Scott:	...I guess not... you know, I have a load of work to do so I am going to grab a slice of this delish pizza... and I'm going to go do my work. Bye.

Pam Beesly:	Oscar, Kevin, this is my sister Penny. She's also my maid of honor.
Oscar:	Pleased to meet you.
Penny:	I'm sorry, it's Kevin? I thought it was Gill.
Kevin:	She thought I was your boyfriend!
Oscar:	You thought I was dating this? What the hell is wrong with you?
Pam Beesly:	Oscar it was an honest mistake.
Oscar:	Him!? Him.
Kevin:	Oscar. I would be proud to date you.

Nate:	Got it. [taking a group photo outside]
Pam Beesly:	Okay let's go in. I'm freezing.
Michael Scott:	People, wait, wait, wait. Come back, come back. One fun one. We're gonna do a fun one.
Jim Halpert:	One Charlie's Angels. One. Let's go.
Pam Beesly:	Okay, this is just a Christmas card from your paper supplier. No one's putting this on their fridge.
Kevin:	Oh, I got it, you guys, how 'bout this. Michael, what if all the boys are on one side, all the girls are on the other. The boys are like, 'why I oughta', and the girls are like, 'let's go shopping!'.
Andy:	Let's just jump in the air!
Michael Scott:	That's it! That's a picture! Yes! Jump in the air. We're gonna jump in the air. Here we go.
Nate:	One, two, three. [everyone jumps at different times] Not everyone jumped.
Michael Scott:	Okay, everybody jump in the air this time, please. Here we go.
Nate:	One, two, three. [everyone jumps] Still some people not jumping.
Jim Halpert:	You gotta be kidding me. Who isn't jumping?
Dwight Schrute:	I'll tell you who. Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley, Angela, and Oscar.
Phyllis:	I am jumping.
Dwight Schrute:	You are?
Phyllis:	Yes, I am jumping.
Dwight Schrute:	Let me see you jump. [Phyllis barely jumps] Oh, my God. This is a store bought-camera. This isn't one of those special military-grade cameras that would be able to capture that.
Pam Beesly:	I'm freezing
Nate:	Um, also, Erin is jumping way too early. She's on the ground by 'three'.
Erin:	I didn't want to miss it.
Andy:	Well, if we all jump really high, we'll be in the air longer. Do that.
Oscar:	Here's a question nobody's asking: Is this worth it?
Michael Scott:	Don't answer that. People, listen up and listen good. We need to just get one picture where we're all in the air at the same time. Yes?
Oscar:	Why?
Michael Scott:	I believe in us. We can do this. Here we go.
Nate:	Okay, on three. Uh, everyone in the air. Three, [some people jump] two, [others jump] one, [others jump] zero. [everyone begins to yell]
	[cut to the talking head]
Michael Scott:	We didn't get it.

Oscar:	Why are you telling us this?
Michael Scott:	Because I want you to behave as if I'm actually firing him, Oscar, ok?
Kevin:	Michael if you hadn't told us this, then we would've thought that you were actually firing--
Michael Scott:	I'm not firing him-- I'm not-- I need you to act like I am firing him. Just, what I am going to do is I'm going to pretend that I am firing him and I need you to act like I am firing him. Do you get that? Do you get it? I'm teaching him a lesson. He needs to learn humility. Alright?

Register with HRClock-In

Oscar Quotes From The Office

Register with HR Clock-In