Pam Beesly Quotes From The Office

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Pam Beesly: When you're a kid you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that. [Andy walks by in the background] I guess it also means that sometimes love affairs look different to the people inside them. [Andy throws up his hands]
[cut to talking head]
Andy: I'm not insightful enough to be a movie critic. Maybe I could be a food critic. These muffins taste bad. Or an art critic. That painting is bad.
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Jan: So I heard that you were peeping on Michael.
Pam Beesly: No, it was not--
Jan: Look, I don't know what your deal is, but he's mine. Okay? So hands off.
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Ryan: I never went to Thailand.
Pam Beesly: Really?
Michael Scott: I went to Fort Lauderdale
Michael Scott: Was it nice?
Ryan: Yeah "it was amazing." There was a great pad thai place though.
Michael Scott: I love pad thai.
Ryan: You've never had pad thai.
Michael Scott: No. There's a lot I haven't done.
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Pam Beesly: I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me they wouldn't hate me. But Karen knows me and she still hates me, so.
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Pam Beesly: We haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant.
Jim Halpert: Well with her being unmarried. Knocked up by some guy... The yackety yacks in this office would have a field day.
Pam Beesly: And we don't want them at the wedding thinking Jim's being marched down the aisle by my dad with a shotgun.
Jim Halpert: Wait there's not going to be a shotgun?
Pam Beesly: No.
Jim Halpert: No shotgun. 'Cause that changes everything.
Pam Beesly: Can't back out now, Halpert.
Jim Halpert: What are you gonna do about it? There's no shotgun so. "Free at last free at last."
Pam Beesly: No, keep it up.
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Michael Scott: [walks in and Jim announced him and Pam are engaged] What's going on?
Pam Beesly: [over the speakerphone] No, nothing. Nothing, Michael. Just saying hi.
Creed: The tall guy got engaged.
Michael Scott: [to Jim] To be married?!
Jm Halpert: Yep.
[Michael hurls himself at Jim with enough force to knock Jim onto the ground with a thud]
Pam Beesly: Sorry.
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Pam Beesly: Yeah, he tried to set up my Tivo for me, but then I did have audio for a week.
Michael Scott: If you ever need any help, I'm just a phone call away.
Jan: I bet you are.
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Pam Beesly: Well I just wanna take a minute to talk to you all about something very serious. Once every hour, someone is involved in an internet scam. That man is Michael Scott. He's supporting about twenty Nigerian princesses.
Michael Scott: Hey, you know what? Forgive me for caring.
Pam Beesly: Michael is a great delegater. He never does any work himself, ever. [Dwight claps loudly] And one time I walked in on him naked. And his thing is so small. [goes to sit down]
Kevin: How small is it?
Pam Beesly: If it were an iPod it would be a shuffle!
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Pam Beesly: [in Jim's ear over bluetooth] Ooh, cute shoes online.
Jim Halpert: How many shoes do you need?
Dwight Schrute: I donno. Two? Maybe three if one wears out. How many shoes do you need?
Jim Halpert: I'm not talking to you.
Dwight Schrute: Who are you talking to?
Jim Halpert: Pam.
Dwight Schrute: She's not here, Jim!
Jim Halpert: No, she's not.
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Pam Beesly: Wow. You're shakin' things up a bit, huh?
Jim Halpert: It's a pretty good idea don't you think?
Pam Beesly: Do you think it's a good idea?
Jim Halpert: No... I think it's a great idea.
Pam Beesly: Hmph.
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Pam Beesly: Hello everyone. We would just like to announce that our party is starting now in the break room. So, come by--
Angela: I have a really important announcement to make. About. Your paychecks. Um... your paychecks will be arriving, as scheduled, on Friday. And they will be in the correct amount, that they normally are in. Please stand by for a very important announcement, further, regarding your paycheck! [runs out of the room]
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Dwight Schrute: Excuse me. May I have your attention, please. There has been an accident on 84-West. Cars have skidded off the road into the safety railing. Several cars have flipped. There is broken glass everywhere. Several people are injured.
Pam Beesly: Do we know anyone who was in the accident?
Dwight Schrute: Brad Pitt. Also, there will be no bonuses.
Stanley: Why would this affect our bonuses?
Dwight Schrute: They are unrelated.
Kelly: Is Brad ok?
Dwight Schrute: He will never act again. Also, this branch is closing.
Oscar: What the hell's going on here?
Angela: Are we out of jobs?
Dwight Schrute: Yes.
Kelly: This is karma because of what he did to Jennifer Anniston.
Michael Scott: He was kidding. Dwight was kidding and I don't know why because it wasn't funny and was, just, horrible.
Stanley: Michael, you said we were getting bonuses.
Michael Scott: Alright, everybody in the conference room now. Let's go. Let's do it.
Stanley: [into phone] Cancel the wallpaper.
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