Pam Beesly Quotes From The Office

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Pam Beesly: Every so often, Jim dies of boredom. I think today it was the expense reports that did him in. And, uh, our deal is it's up to me to revive him.
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Pam Beesly: No, Dwight is not my friend...
Pam Beesly: Oh my God, Dwight is kind of my friend.
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Pam Beesly: There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, "what if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?" He said, "if I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."
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Pam Beesly: Michael? It's Jan on the phone for you.
Michael Scott: No, no, no. Hang up. Hang up. Tell her I'm not here. Don't. Don't. I ran outta gas. Hit a deer. I hit- I hit a deer with my car. Don't! I hit a cat. Tell her I hit a cat.
Pam Beesly: He'll call you back.
Michael Scott: She bought it? Ok. Ok... [walks away]
Dwight Schrute: Michael hit a deer?
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Pam Beesly: [placing a coke can in front of Jim] Here. [Jim looks confused] Just buy it from me. I haven't talked to you in hours and it's been weird and I really want to know what the hell's going on with Dwight. [Pam scoots the coke can towards Jim. Jim pulls out his wallet and hands Pam a dollar. He gives the coke back to Pam]
Jim Halpert: Hi.
Pam Beesly: Hey.
Jim Halpert: How much time do you have left on your break?
Pam Beesly: Ten minutes.
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Michael Scott: So what we do, is we drive all day, and we stay in a hotel together at night.
Pam Beesly: Separate rooms.
Michael Scott: Well that goes without saying.
Pam Beesly: I'm gonna say it anyway.
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Ben Franklin: You know I invented electricity.
Pam Beesly: I know.
Ben Franklin: Well I'm sensing a little electricity here.
Pam Beesly: Didn't Ben Franklin have syphilis?
Ben Franklin: Yes. But I don't. My name is Gordon.
Pam Beesly: Oh...
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Jim Halpert: [Jim stands up to give the wedding speech] I just wanna say how happy we are, that all of you are here tonight. And I want to especially thank those of you who have travelled from far away to be here with us tonight. Especially the Florida cousins, who obviously can't take a hint. Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl, who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing that I've ever had to do, which was just to... wait. Don't get me wrong, I flirted with her. Pam, I can now admit in front of friends and family, that I do know how to make a photocopy. Didn't need your help that many times. And, uh, do you remember how long it took you to teach me how to drive stick?
Pam Beesly: Like a year!
Jim Halpert: I've been driving stick since high school, so... For a really long time that's all I had. Little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend. And, a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl I work with but I think, even then I knew that... I was waiting for my wife. So, I would like to propose a toast. So if you'd all raise your glasses-- not Pam for obvious reasons-- but everyone else, if you'd raise your glasses...
Nema: What's obvious? Why can't Pam drink?
Jim Halpert: Pam can't drink? I didn't-- I shouldn't have said that. I don't know why I did. She can do whatever she wants. Though she shouldn't. She shouldn't because she's an alcoholic. Pam is an alcoholic. That's not true. No. What... we wanted-- the real reason -- the real reason is that, um, that-- that Pam's pregnant and--
Michael Scott: [clears throat] Ok, ok, ok. Hey! What I think Jim is trying to say, is that... they had an accident. And you know what. These two people, they're living together. They are having lot of consensual sex.
Nema: They were living together!?
Michael Scott: Yes, yes! Yes, they were living together. And you know what, you can't expect them to be careful every time. Because frankly it's just a different sensation.
Jim Halpert: Michael.
Michael Scott: Well, am I wrong? They say it's not different but it's a different sensation. [over top of Jim] When you use, something, to block-- I think everyone knows what I'm talking about. It's not necessarily different for the woman. But it is different for
Pam Beesly: Michael. Stop.
Michael Scott: Alright! My point is, I said what I wanted to say and Nema I hope you heard every word. Jim.
Jim Halpert: [raises glass] To waiting.
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Karen: Hey. Hi guys!
[camera pans to show Karen walking over, pregnant]
Michael Scott: Oh my God... Is that Jim's?
Karen: What?
Pam Beesly: Michael!
Karen: Of course not.
Michael Scott: Ok. Wow. Oh man! Head just exploded. Ooooh thank God. [to Pam] For everybody, right? Whookay. Wow you're huge! That's, incredible. I-- God. Sorry, sorry. My head is-- I'm just-- I'm trying to figure out the last time that you and Jim had sex. And--
Karen: Let's just get this over with, shall we. Mm-hmm.
Michael Scott: [to himself] Ten. Ten months?
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Stanley: Are you just gonna sit there, Office Administrator, or are you going to do something?
Pam Beesly: Dwight, can we talk about these cutbacks.
Dwight Schrute: Pam, when I'm sitting at this desk, I'm a salesman. If you wanna talk to the new building owner, you should call Nate and schedule and appointment.
Pam Beesly: I'm not going to do that.
Dwight Schrute: Well then you're not going to talk to the new building owner. Which is a shame, because I hear he's a very reasonable guy.
Nate: [on the phone] Y'ello.
Pam Beesly: Hi Nate. It's Pam Halpert.
Nate: Oh, hey Pam.
Dwight Schrute: Hey, I would just love to schedule a meeting today with Dwight.
Nate: Let me put you on hold for just one 'eensy sec.
Pam Beesly: Sure.
Dwight Schrute: [answers phone] Dwight Schrute. Mhm. Tell her I'm busy. I don't know, make something up.
Nate: Hey Pam. Dwight's being questioned by the police in connection with a string of dog-nappings that ha...
Pam Beesly: [hangs up phone] Dwight. Dwight. Can you please tell new building owner that he is screwing over all the people he works with, people he's worked with for years. His friends.
Dwight Schrute: You know what Pam? You're right. This isn't just a business. This is a home, and I would much rather see a smile from Kevin than save hundreds on plumbing and electricity.
[Kevin smiles]
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Michael Scott [pouring gasoline] Hey, Pam!
Pam Beesly Hey, Michael. I just came out to see what you were doing and to maybe stop you.
Michael Scott It looks like I'm running out of gas. You know what, do you have a siphon?
Pam Beesly Gas for what?
Michael Scott I'm asking Holly a question in fire.
Pam Beesly [excited] Michael, are you proposing?
Michael Scott Yup... My hands and shoes are covered in gas. Do you think you could light this for me? [hands Pam gas can and matches]
Pam Beesly Sure... [walks away]
Michael Scott Hey! Are you going to light this or not?
Pam Beesly Michael... you had two ideas today, and one of them was great. The other was terrible.
Michael Scott I don't have time for riddles, Pam!
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Dwight Schrute: Who's the father?
Pam Beesly: Jim.
Dwight Schrute: How far along?
Jim Halpert: Four months?
Creed: Who's the OB/GYN?
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