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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Pam Beesly Quotes

Pam Beesly Quotes From The Office

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Pam Beesly: We wrote a good review. Under comments, we wrote: the natural aroma of the beets drifts into the bedrooms and makes you dream of simpler times.
Jim Halpert: The dawn goosewalk will tug at your heartstrings.
Pam Beesly: Tablemaking never seemed so possible.
Jim Halpert: You will never want to leave your room.
Pam Beesly: The architecture reminds one of a quant Tuscan beet farm.
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Nate: Got it. [taking a group photo outside]
Pam Beesly: Okay let's go in. I'm freezing.
Michael Scott: People, wait, wait, wait. Come back, come back. One fun one. We're gonna do a fun one.
Jim Halpert: One Charlie's Angels. One. Let's go.
Pam Beesly: Okay, this is just a Christmas card from your paper supplier. No one's putting this on their fridge.
Kevin: Oh, I got it, you guys, how 'bout this. Michael, what if all the boys are on one side, all the girls are on the other. The boys are like, 'why I oughta', and the girls are like, 'let's go shopping!'.
Andy: Let's just jump in the air!
Michael Scott: That's it! That's a picture! Yes! Jump in the air. We're gonna jump in the air. Here we go.
Nate: One, two, three. [everyone jumps at different times] Not everyone jumped.
Michael Scott: Okay, everybody jump in the air this time, please. Here we go.
Nate: One, two, three. [everyone jumps] Still some people not jumping.
Jim Halpert: You gotta be kidding me. Who isn't jumping?
Dwight Schrute: I'll tell you who. Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley, Angela, and Oscar.
Phyllis: I am jumping.
Dwight Schrute: You are?
Phyllis: Yes, I am jumping.
Dwight Schrute: Let me see you jump. [Phyllis barely jumps] Oh, my God. This is a store bought-camera. This isn't one of those special military-grade cameras that would be able to capture that.
Pam Beesly: I'm freezing
Nate: Um, also, Erin is jumping way too early. She's on the ground by 'three'.
Erin: I didn't want to miss it.
Andy: Well, if we all jump really high, we'll be in the air longer. Do that.
Oscar: Here's a question nobody's asking: Is this worth it?
Michael Scott: Don't answer that. People, listen up and listen good. We need to just get one picture where we're all in the air at the same time. Yes?
Oscar: Why?
Michael Scott: I believe in us. We can do this. Here we go.
Nate: Okay, on three. Uh, everyone in the air. Three, [some people jump] two, [others jump] one, [others jump] zero. [everyone begins to yell]
[cut to the talking head]
Michael Scott: We didn't get it.
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Pam Beesly: No, Dwight is not my friend...
[pause]
Pam Beesly: Oh my God, Dwight is kind of my friend.
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Bob Vance: Everyone here whose bowled a 280, please raise your hand. [raises his hand]
Jim Halpert: No way, 280?
Pam Beesly: That's impressive.
Phyllis: Ok. Now everyone here whose bowled under seventy raise their hand.
Jim Halpert: Yikes.
Phyllis: Come on, Bob, raise your hand.
Jim Halpert: No!
Pam Beesly: What!
Bob Vance: You love bringing up that one time, don't you?
Phyllis: Yeah! I do!
Pam Beesly: Jim uses a six pound ball.
Jim Halpert: That is a lie, that is a lie.
Pam Beesly: Yes! He bowled five frames with this pink sparkly thing, until a little girl had to ask for her ball back.
Jim Halpert: But that girl must have had monstrous hands because the holes fit.
Pam Beesly: No, you just have really dainty fingers.
Bob Vance: Ohh. You could always model ladies jewelery.
Jim Halpert: Nobody asked, Bob!
[all laugh]
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Pam Beesly: [placing a coke can in front of Jim] Here. [Jim looks confused] Just buy it from me. I haven't talked to you in hours and it's been weird and I really want to know what the hell's going on with Dwight. [Pam scoots the coke can towards Jim. Jim pulls out his wallet and hands Pam a dollar. He gives the coke back to Pam]
Jim Halpert: Hi.
Pam Beesly: Hey.
Jim Halpert: How much time do you have left on your break?
Pam Beesly: Ten minutes.
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Pam Beesly: About forty times a year, Michael gets really sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned.
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Jim Halpert: Okay, shhhh stop. Stop whatever you're doing because this is going to be good.
[looking at Dwight buy a purse from Katy, the purse girl]
Jim Halpert: [imitating Dwight in high-falsetto voice] Hi. My name is Dwight Schrute and I would like to buy a purse from you. Good lord, look at these purses! This is something special. Oh my God. Is this Salvatore Di-chini-asta?
Pam Beesly: [mimicking Katy] Oh definitely, definitely step in and out of it like that.
Jim Halpert: Yes, well I want to stress test it. You know, in case anything happens.
Pam Beesly: Oh!
Jim Halpert: Oh! That was really. [Dwight hits purse against table] This is necessary to do to really give it a good workout. This is ooooh... This is the prettiest one of all. I'm going to be the prettiest girl in the ball. Oh, how much?
Pam Beesly: Oh, God. It's sad. It's so sad.
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Oscar: Do you know?
Michael Scott: Do I know what?
Oscar: I think you know.
Michael Scott: Mm, no...
Phyllis: Know what?
Pam Beesly: Yeah, know what?
Oscar: Does anyone happen to know what 15% of 4300 is?
Michael Scott: 645 dollars.
Kevin: Michael's a genius!
Oscar: Why did you say dollars?
Michael Scott: Because that is how my mind works.
Oscar: What's 15% of 200? [Michael doesn't answer] Thank you. Everyone, Michael is returning the surplus so he can keep 15% as a bonus.
Jim Halpert: Wait, what?
Pam Beesly: You can do that?
Kevin: Hey Michael, what's 394 times 5,912?
Michael Scott: Let's see...
Pam Beesly: You're gonna give yourself a bonus of $645 instead of getting the entire office something it really needs?
Michael Scott: I don't need $645; I already have $645, more or less.
Oscar: You're gonna get us a copier then?
Michael Scott: This is so stupid.
Pam Beesly: Or chairs?
Michael Scott: This is so, so stupid. And, God... [looks at his watch] that's my phone.
Stanley: I didn't hear a phone.
Michael Scott: To be continued!
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Pam Beesly: Hey Ryan!
Ryan: [walks in typing to Blackberry] Hello, one second. [returns to blackberry] Hey Pam it's great to see you is Michael in?
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Michael Scott: Um actually I'm sending Ryan on a top secret mission. Tell her what it is.
Ryan: Updating emergency contacts?
Pam Beesly: Well, is that really a priority?
Michael Scott: Is it a priority? Oh I dunno. Um, what if there's a tornado, Pam? Peoples legs are crushed under rubble. 'Please, would you be so kind as to call my wife?' No, I can't, because we don't have any emergency contact information because Pam said it wasn't a priority. Think, think with your head Pam.
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Jan: How about we do the short tour and then I'll start dinner.
Pam Beesly: Oh, I can help starting dinner if you need it.
Jan: No, no its just the asabuko needs to braise for about 3 hours, everything else is done.
Pam Beesly: Three hours from now, or 3 hours from earlier, like 4 o'clock.
Jan: You know Pam, in Spain, they often don't even start eating until midnight.
Michael Scott: When in Rome...
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: [Talking to Pam]As you know, there is going to be downsizing. And you have made my life so much easier, in that, I am going to have to let you go first.
Pam Beesly: What? Why?
Michael Scott: Why? Well, theft, and stealing.
Pam Beesly: Stealing? Um...what am I supposed to have stolen?
Micheal Scott: Post-it notes.
Pam Beesly: Post-it notes? What are those 50 cents?
Michael Scott: Yeah, well, you steal a thousand Post-it notes at 50 cents a piece, and, you know, you've made a profit... margin, you're going to run us out of business Pam.
Pam Beesly: Are you serious?
Michael Scott: Yeah, I am.
Pam Beesly: Um...I can't believe this. I mean, I've never even stolen a paperclip and now you're firing me.
Michael Scott: The best thing about this is that, we're not going to have to give you any severance pay. Because... that is... gross miss conduct and uh, just clean out your desk. Sorry. [Pam starts crying] [After a long pause] You've been X-Punked! Surprise! It's a joke. We were joking around! See? Okay, he was in on it, he was my accomplice. [Ryan shaking his head] And it was kind of a moral booster thing. And we were showing the new guy around, and, kinda giving him the feel of the place.
Pam Beesly: You're a jerk!
Michael Scott: I don't know about that.
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