At that moment I was just, so happy. I mean everything that Dwight does annoys me... and I spend hours thinking of ways to get back at him. But only in ways that would get me arrested- and then here he comes and says he says, 'No, Jim - here's a way.'
When I retire, I don't want to just move to some island somewhere. I want to be the guy who gives it all back. I want it to be like, 'Hey... who donated that hospital wing that's saving so many lives?' 'I don't know. It was anonymous.' 'Well, guess what. It was Michael Scott.' 'But how do you know? It was anonymous.' [pause] 'Because I'm him.'
[with blonde hair] Do I feel bad about betraying Jim? Not at all. That's the game. Convince him we're in an alliance, get some information, throw him to the wolves. That's politics baby! Get what you can out of someone, then crush them. I think Jim might have learned a very valuable lesson.
It looks like there's gonna be downsizing. And it's part of my job, but... blah! I hate it. I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump is that, uh, I get no pleasure out of saying the words, "You're fired." (With his magical Donald Trump Impression) "You're foir-ed. Uh, you're foir-ed." It just makes people sad, and an office can't function that way. No way. (as Donald Trump again) "You're foir-ed." I think if I had a catchphrase it would be, "You're hired, and you can work here as long as you want." But that's unrealistic, so...
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