Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it... and then you have to tame it. Keep it happy, care for it, feed it... lovingly, like an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.
The meeting isn't until three, but I always like to come a little early. This is where I do my haunts. Oh, look! [points to a Sbarro's] My favorite New York pizza place. I'm going to go get me a New York slice!
Nothing oh! Except oh my God, Jim! Last night, Ryan and I totally, finally hooked up. It was awesome.
Oh. That's great. I'm really happy for you.
I know, and it was so funny because we were at this bar with his friends, and I was sitting next to him the whole night, and he wasn't making a move, so in my head I was like, 'Ryan! What's taking you so long?' And then, he kissed me, and I didn't know what to say, so I said, 'Ryan! What took you so long?'
This is the world famous Rockefeller Center. Founded, of course by Theodore Rockefeller. This is a skating rink and I think the Rangers practice there sometimes and it's, that's Tina Fey [points]. That's Tina Fey from Saturday Night Live. Hello? Hello, hi? [walks over] OH, I'm sorry, I thought you were [Conan O'Brien walks in front of Michael], OK, I thought that was. She, she looked a lot like Tina Fey. [to camera] Hello, hello, I thought that was Tina Fey, but it wasn't. So... Are you serious? He was here? When, when I was talking to the fake Tina Fey? Come on! And are you, argh.
[Going down the stairs to the Subway] Everybody takes the subway in New York. It's fast, it's efficient, gets you there on time. It's a way to [turns and rushes back up stairs] Okay, there's a guy pooping in a cardboard box down there.
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