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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 5 - Prince Family Paper

The Office Season 5 Quotes - Prince Family Paper

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  • Conference Room (19 Comments)
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20
likes
Michael Scott: So when, uh, when did you set up shop.
Business owner: Ah I opened this place after I came back from Vietnam.
Michael Scott: Ooh, Vietnam. I hear it's lovely.
Business owner: [long pause] Mmm-hmm.
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19
likes
Dwight Schrute: [talking about their plans at Prince Family Paper] Then we meet at the Denny's and we compare notes.
Michael Scott: No. No, I never said Denny's. IHOP.
Dwight Schrute: No. I said Denny's you know how I feel about IHOP
Michael Scott: Ohh don't start--
Dwight Schrute: Socialist.
Michael Scott: I don't-- I don't want to get into this debate again--
Dwight Schrute: Ok...
Michael Scott: I enjoy IHOP.
Dwight Schrute: ...I'll have a cup of coffee.
Michael Scott: You will have pancakes and you'll like it.
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17
likes
Dwight Schrute: Hello! I'd like to apply for a job.
Roger Prince: Hiya... I'm afraid we're not hiring right now.
Dwight Schrute: Why don't you just get rid of this guy.
Roger Prince: [chuckling] That's my son!
Dwight Schrute: I'm your son now. You can visit him on the holidays.
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15
likes
Kevin: A painting, can be beautiful, but I don't want to bang a painting.
Andy: Whokay! TMI.
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15
likes
Little girl: Grandma, I can't do this.
Michael Scott: What's going on? A little homework over here?
Little girl: Yeah.
Michael Scott: Let's see if I can help. Ohhh. Oh, math! That's not so hard. Ok. You have four of these.
Little girl: Right.
Michael Scott: Ignore the parentheses right? Why is this little two so small? It- it's weird. You just-- don't-- you just go by the x. The x means times, so that means four times x two, what is double four?
Little girl: Eight.
Michael Scott: Right! Excellent. Way to go! Nice.
Grandma: [grandma rushes over after Michael walks away] Oh. Don't put that...
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13
likes
Jim Halpert: I got five-hundred feet of red wire at a flee market, up by Dunmore High School. Twenty bucks for the whole spool. Crazy. What a deal. [camera zooms in on Dwight climbing up a hydro pole through the window] Ah, he'll be fine; I made it up there.
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13
likes
Pam Beesly: Ladies. Are we prepared to let the Kevins of the world decide anything for us? Anything at all? We don't even give him full internet access.
[long pause]
Kevin: Wait what?
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13
likes
Dwight Schrute: Your heart is a wonderful thing, Michael, but it makes some terrible decisions.
Michael Scott: That's true. That's true. It has gone down the path many, many times. Jan, Ryan...
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12
likes
Michael Scott: So even specialty paper, say 94 brightness, double bonded, you would put that on the same truck as your conventional stock?
Roger Prince: [chuckling] You sure know a lot about paper for a lawyer.
Michael Scott: Oh well.. that, is.. because I am a genius.
Roger Prince: [laughing] Oh, really?
Michael Scott: Yes. Well. About some things, and other things just I'm very stupid. [reaching to the desk] Like watch this. [picks up a tape roll] Is this the cup? [picks up a stapler] Is this the cup? Is this what I drink out of?
[Roger is hysterically laughing]
Michael Scott: Laughter is my job. Tears are my game. Law is my profession.
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10
likes
Jim Halpert: Ok, ok. Why don't we just, put this to a vote and then we'll be done with it.
Angela: I'm not voting.
Jim Halpert: No one cares. Who thinks, that Hilary Swank is hot. Raise your hand. [5 people raise their hands] Ok, and who thinks that Hilary Swank is not hot, raise your hand. [5 other people raise their hands]
Kevin: Five. Five to five.
Jim Halpert: Thank you accounting department.
Kevin: So what do we do now?
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10
likes
Michael Scott: I guess this is what they call a bittersweet moment. It is bitter because I slightly destroyed a... wonderful little family. But sweet, because David Wallace thought I did a good job. That's why I hate bittersweet chocolate. I don't even-- What's the point of that? Why not just sweet? I mean who- who are you helping?
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9
likes
[doing surveillance in Michael's car]
Michael Scott: And there's clouds. There's clouds in the sky. I think it's gonna rain. Bad for business.
Dwight Schrute: Well it would if they were altocumulus, not cirrostratus.
Michael Scott: [frustrated] Why do you?-- ah ok.
Dwight Schrute: Get your clouds right.
Michael Scott: Shut up.
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8
likes
Dwight Schrute: What if the owner of Prince Family Paper has a beautiful daughter and we have to seduce her in order to get their secrets?
Michael Scott: I will seduce her.
Dwight Schrute: No I want to seduce her.
Michael Scott: I'll seduce her.
Dwight Schrute: Let me seduce her--
Michael Scott: [over Dwight] No no no no, no. I got it.
Dwight Schrute: [after a beat] You'll fall in love with her.
Michael Scott: Yeah? So what if I did. That would take precedence and I would expect your support.
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8
likes
Kelly: No! No no no no no. She's hot. Ok? Because if you are saying... that Hilary Swank isn't hot then you're saying I'm not hot because obviously I'm not as hot as Hilary Swank! [runs out of the room crying]
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8
likes
Jim Halpert: You know what, Kev, do me a favor. Why don't you close your eyes.
[Kevin closes his eyes]
Jim Halpert: [whispering] OK. Now imagine that Hilary Swank comes into this office. For real. She walks over to you and she says, "Kevin Malone. I just read your online profile. There's nothing I'd rather do than make out with you right now." Now you tell me something: is she hot?
Kevin: [nods and smiles]
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7
likes
Dwight Schrute: Also we're gonna need a signal to bolt out of there in case there's danger.
Michael Scott: Fine.
Dwight Schrute: That signal is: lick your lips. Try it.
[Michael licks his lips normally]
Dwight Schrute: No no no. Like this.
[Dwight demonstrates with his tongue all the way out of his mouth licking his lips with his eyes closed. Michael does it back facing Dwight for a few seconds... and it looks ridiculous.]
Dwight Schrute: Good.
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7
likes
Kevin: Ladies and gentleman. Even though the penis was fake, I kept expecting a second plot twist where we found out that Hilary Swank actually was a boy.
Pam Beesly: Kevin!
Angela: Ok. I wasn't going to dignify this discussion by getting involved, and I don't even get the discussion. Hot, is a temperature, people. But Kevin, deserves to lose for what he said. So, yes. She's hot. She's hot as heck. She's a female Boris Becker.
[everyone on the "hot" side claps]
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7
likes
Dwight Schrute: Have you ever seen a lioness devour her cub?
Michael Scott: Oh God not this--
Dwight Schrute: Have you ever seen a baboon devour its mate. Have you ever seen a raccoon devour a squirrel?
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7
likes
Michael Scott: Oh, hey, what is this?
Pam Beesly: Hilary Swank.
Michael Scott: Oh she's hot.
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6
likes
David Wallace: I'll fax over some of the things we're looking for, ok?
Michael Scott: Fax? Why don't you just send it over on a dinosaur?
David Wallace: Look, this is important, Michael.
Michael Scott: Oh. Well then email it, David.
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6
likes
Jim Halpert: [in the background of office chatter] I'm just saying-- all I'm saying is Kevin's not necessarily a feminist, is all I'm saying.
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5
likes
Oscar: [in front of a image from a projector] See that? The obvious symmetry of the face. This is a natural appeal of the scientific standard of coinalphelia, features that are a composite average of many features. Yes she's attractive. But, she's not hot.
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5
likes
Michael Scott: Just live and let live.
Dwight Schrute: What?
Michael Scott: Live and let live.
Dwight Schrute: I'm not familiar with that expression.
Michael Scott: It's the James Bon--
Dwight Schrute: It doesn't make any sense. Of course, I'm alive...
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5
likes
Stanley: I am trying to be more, optimistic in life. I've got what? Twenty, thirty more years left. And my family history says... I have less. Now the old Stanley Hudson would've found something to complain about with this actress. But that's no way to live life! Look at this healthy, sexy, pretty, strong young woman. Come on people! She. Is. Hot.
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4
likes
[the office is gathered around Stanley's computer, all talking at once about Hilary Swank]
Kevin: Not at all.
Creed: She's cute.
Meredith: She's got mean eyes.
Pam Beesly: [walking over] Have you seen her with her bangs?
Kevin: She looks like a monster.
Jim Halpert: Guys, she is a beautiful movie star. So, maybe we could just, go to work.
Meredith: She is an amazing actress.
Kevin: That's not the question.
Phyllis: She's not hot.
Kevin: Yeah! Thank you Phyllis.
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4
likes
Jim Halpert: I think all of us have a tendency to view celebrities as sort of... mythical figures, you know? We don't really see them as real so therefore we don't judge them as real people.
Kevin: Are you serious? Jim, just show us a picture.
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2
likes
Dwight Schrute: There was a terrible war, ugh, so many died. Far too many died. But if Frodo hadn't destroyed the ring, then goodness itself might have died.
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0
likes
Toby: [From Deleted Scene] Wait... The warehouse is a separate thing.
Daryl: I beg your pardon?
Andy: No! that's a good point... I mean did you poll the entire warehouse?
Daryl: No I didn't.
Andy: This man should not have the right to vote!
Pam: What! He works for this office, he's the Foreman.
Andy: Okay... Then I propose... he gets half a vote.
Daryl: [pause] How about three-fifths?
Andy: {pause] That sounds fair.
Daryl: [long pause] I'm gonna go... I'm a... use the whites only restroom.
Andy: That's ridiculous, we don't have one of those.
19 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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