Warning: session_start(): open(/home/office/public_html/tmp/sess_2b81eae1abbc557610fd43767bb54f52, O_RDWR) failed: Permission denied (13) in /home/office/public_html/index.php on line 9
The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 3 - Grief Counseling

The Office Season 3 Quotes - Grief Counseling

  • Quotes
  • Conference Room (3 Comments)
  • Download Episode (iTunes Link)
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
43
likes
Dwight Schrute: When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins, and they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissues made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
37
likes
Ryan: A few years ago, my family was on a safari in Africa and my cousin, Mufasa, was um, he was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeasts and um, we all took it really hard. All of us kind of in the audience, of what happened.
Michael Scott: Do you wanna talk about it anymore?
Ryan: Oh it would probably take an hour and half to tell that whole story.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
25
likes
Creed: You know a human can go on several hours after being decapitated.
Dwight Schrute: You're thinking of a chicken.
Creed: What'd I say?
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
25
likes
Dwight Schrute: When I die, I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever because I will have used that time to figure out exactly why I died, and what moves I could've used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
25
likes
Michael Scott: He's finished work, he's on his way home, WHAM, his cappa is detated from his head!
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
23
likes
Michael Scott: There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
22
likes
Michael Scott: I lost Ed Truck, and it feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears. And at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch, with a frozen sledge hammer. And then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone, and I'm crying , and nobody can hear me, because I'm terribly terribly, terribly alone.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
19
likes
Andy: What're we doing? What's the game? I want in.
Jim Halpert: Oh there's no game, we're just trying to get these chips for Karen.
Andy: Did you check the vending machine?
Karen: Ohh the vending machine. How did we miss that?
Jim Halpert: I have no idea. We went right for the copier, and then we checked the fax machine.
Andy: Did you check, your butt?
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
16
likes
Dwight Schrute: Michael get him away from your head! He is covered in germs and bacteria!
Michael Scott: You can't get diseases from a bird!
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
14
likes
Ryan: When I was five, my mom told me that the fish went to the hospital, in the toilet, and it never came back. So we had a funeral for it. And I remember thinking, 'I'm a little too old for this.' And I was five.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
12
likes
Jan: So, I wanted to let you know that we lost Ed Truck.
Michael Scott: Okay... let me see if I have his cell.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
12
likes
Jim Halpert: [on the phone] Hi, yeah, this is Mike from the West Side Market? Well we got a shipment of Herr's salt and vinegar chips and we ordered that about three weeks ago and have-- Yeah... You have them in the warehouse? Great. What is my store number? ... Six. Wait, no, I'll call you back- [quickly hangs up phone]
Karen: [laughing] 'Six?'
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
10
likes
Michael Scott: So did you hear the news?
Pam Beasley: The news that you just announced?
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
9
likes
Michael Scott: I'm not exactly sure how to say this--
Dwight Schrute: Ed was decapitated.
Michael Scott: What are you doing?
Dwight Schrute: You said you didn't know how to--
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
7
likes
Dwight Schrute: If my head ever comes off, I would like you to put it on ice.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
7
likes
Jim Halpert: I called the manufacturer, who referred me to the distributor, who referred me to the vending machine company, who told me they sell them in the machines in the building nextdoor.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
5
likes
Karen: Oh nothing. They're just out of Herr's chips. But don't worry about it. My snack food doesn't fall under the umbrella of your authority.
Jim Halpert: Mmmm, that's where you're wrong. I'm your project supervisor today, and I have just decided that we're not doing anything, until you get the chips you require. So I think we should go get some. Now, please.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
5
likes
Karen: I'm calling a supermarket in Montreal.
Jim Halpert: Nice!
Karen: [on phone] Bonjour. Je cherche des chips de la marque Herr's. Non? Ah... aw, merci quand meme. Au revoir. [hangs up phone] Nope.
Jim Halpert: Sounded good.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
4
likes
Michael Scott: He was driving, on the road, and he went under a truck. And that's when his h-head was, seperated, from, the rest of him. I will let you know more as soon as I find out.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
3
likes
Michael Scott: I love the people here. And if there was one thing I di- I don't really care for, is that they can be, terribly, terribly ignorant about other cultures. And I don't want them embarassing me, in front of my girlfriend, Carol.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
3
likes
Stanley: [to Michael] You have just spit on my face.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
2
likes
[Michael stumbles upon Kelly crying]
Michael Scott: It's okay. It's okay. Shhhh, yes, I know. It's been a tough day, but it's good to let it show.
Kelly: I mean, how many times do I have to confirm plans with Ryan [disgusted Michael walks away] for him to know we have a date tonight?
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
1
like
Michael Scott This is just not the way a Dunder Mifflin manager should go, I'm sorry. Alone, out of the blue, not even have his own head to comfort him.
3 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

Warning: Unknown: open(/home/office/public_html/tmp/sess_2b81eae1abbc557610fd43767bb54f52, O_RDWR) failed: Permission denied (13) in Unknown on line 0

Warning: Unknown: Failed to write session data (files). Please verify that the current setting of session.save_path is correct (/home/office/public_html/tmp) in Unknown on line 0