The Office Season 7 Quotes - Classy Christmas
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| Dwight Schrute | [to camera] In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas. |
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| Dwight Schrute | [to camera] I have no feeling in my fingers or penis. But I think it was worth it. |
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| Kelly | I wonder if these presents would be under as much scrutiny if I were white. [everyone groans] I said "I wonder". I didn't say "I think". |
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| Michael Scott | [to camera] Thank you, Scranton Strangler, I love you. You just took one more person's breath away. |
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| Kelly | Ultimatums are key. Basically nobody does anything for me unless I threaten to kill myself. |
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| Kevin | Toy Story is all about toys that come to life, when people aren't looking. You don't think...? It's not possible that Woody did this to himself? |
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| Erin | Who's Holly, guys? |
| Michael Scott | That is a good question, Erin. How do you describe somebody who is at the same time an old friend, and was a lover, and was a complicated part of my past, and maybe, just maybe, a part of my future? |
| Creed | She's one sassy black lady. |
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| Dwight Schrute | [to camera. dressed as Pam, plays over shots of him in wigs] Yes, I have a wig for every single person in the office. You never know when you're going to need to bear a passing resmeblance to someone. |
| Jim Halpert | [to camera] I just want it to stop. |
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| Michael Scott | The shards of glass could've shaved her face off. And yes, it might've been funny. But it would also have been incredibly tragic. |
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| Andy | [as the Grinch] You must answer topical political questions! [reads card] "How many congressman is the state of Pennsylvania guaranteed? And what other state has that equal number?" |
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| Michael Scott | [to camera] There's nothing classier than boring jazz music. He was cheaper. What's better, hiring an entire quartet for half an hour or one bassist for an entire day? |
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| Jim Halpert | [reading gift tag] "Hey, Pickles! Merry Christmas! Open immediately. Love, Swiss Cheese." |
| [opens box, gets hit by snowball inside the box] | |
| Dwight Schrute | Didn't think your affectionate nicknames would be your undoing, did you, Jim? Let that be a lesson to you all. |
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| Michael Scott | [to camera as classy Santa] The name is Bond. Santa Bond. I'll have an eggnog shaken, not stirred. Classic Brosnan. |
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| Toby | [to camera] I know people are only excited to talk to me because of the trial. But if they talk to me for a while, and maybe people realize that I have something to say. And then one day... we're just talking. |
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| Dwight Schrute | I do not except your surrender. There's only one way that I would ever relent: You hit Pam in the face with a snowball, while I watch. |
| Jim Halpert | You're a psychopath. |
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| Jim Halpert | [looks out window] Hey look everyone, It's snowing. |
| Dwight Schrute | [pretend cute-kid voice] Omigod! It's the first snowfall of Christmas. Is that just so magical for you, little girl? Can you not wait to have a hot chocolate and cuddle up with papa and tell him all of your Christmas dreams? Hmm? [turns serious] It's not even real snow. Look, it's a dusting. Pitiful. |
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| Andy | My 'brid, my hybrid, my Prius hybrid won't fit a tree, which is ironic considering how many trees it saves. |
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| Pam Beesly | Look, Darryl. I know it's not my business, but if I couldn't have Cece with me for Christmas, I'd be upset too. |
| Darryl | Thank you. |
| Andy | Yeah man, if my grandma died, I'd kill myself. |
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| Kevin | [to Holly] Nothing is never your fault! Just like when you ate those maple candies that you brought for us! |
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| Oscar | [to camera] Robert seems great. He's very handsome. Firm handshake. He's gay. Good sense of humor. |
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| Stanley | [to camera] I have been trying to get on jury duty every single year since I was 18 years old. To get to sit in an air conditioned room, downtown, judging people while my lunch was paid for? That is the life! |
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| Holly | I found him (Woody) in my bed the next morning. |
| Michael Scott | Oh that's creepy. How did A.J. get in your house? |
| Holly | We live together. |
| Michael Scott | ...oh. |
| Holly | Yeah, it had a little note on it that said "You've got a friend in me." |
| Michael Scott | Yeah... Randy Newman's the best. |
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| Michael Scott | My kids are growing up. As a boss, I look at that and I say, great. It's exactly what a boss would hope would happen because that's what I want. That's what every boss wants; a wonderful Christmas with no drama. |
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| Nate: | Got it. [taking a group photo outside] |
| Pam Beesly: | Okay let's go in. I'm freezing. |
| Michael Scott: | People, wait, wait, wait. Come back, come back. One fun one. We're gonna do a fun one. |
| Jim Halpert: | One Charlie's Angels. One. Let's go. |
| Pam Beesly: | Okay, this is just a Christmas card from your paper supplier. No one's putting this on their fridge. |
| Kevin: | Oh, I got it, you guys, how 'bout this. Michael, what if all the boys are on one side, all the girls are on the other. The boys are like, 'why I oughta', and the girls are like, 'let's go shopping!'. |
| Andy: | Let's just jump in the air! |
| Michael Scott: | That's it! That's a picture! Yes! Jump in the air. We're gonna jump in the air. Here we go. |
| Nate: | One, two, three. [everyone jumps at different times] Not everyone jumped. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay, everybody jump in the air this time, please. Here we go. |
| Nate: | One, two, three. [everyone jumps] Still some people not jumping. |
| Jim Halpert: | You gotta be kidding me. Who isn't jumping? |
| Dwight Schrute: | I'll tell you who. Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley, Angela, and Oscar. |
| Phyllis: | I am jumping. |
| Dwight Schrute: | You are? |
| Phyllis: | Yes, I am jumping. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Let me see you jump. [Phyllis barely jumps] Oh, my God. This is a store bought-camera. This isn't one of those special military-grade cameras that would be able to capture that. |
| Pam Beesly: | I'm freezing |
| Nate: | Um, also, Erin is jumping way too early. She's on the ground by 'three'. |
| Erin: | I didn't want to miss it. |
| Andy: | Well, if we all jump really high, we'll be in the air longer. Do that. |
| Oscar: | Here's a question nobody's asking: Is this worth it? |
| Michael Scott: | Don't answer that. People, listen up and listen good. We need to just get one picture where we're all in the air at the same time. Yes? |
| Oscar: | Why? |
| Michael Scott: | I believe in us. We can do this. Here we go. |
| Nate: | Okay, on three. Uh, everyone in the air. Three, [some people jump] two, [others jump] one, [others jump] zero. [everyone begins to yell] |
| [cut to the talking head] | |
| Michael Scott: | We didn't get it. |
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