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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 6 - Body Language

The Office Season 6 Quotes - Body Language

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  • Conference Room (4 Comments)
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15
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Michael Scott: [to camera] La telephona.
Oscar: El telephono.
[cut to talking head]
Oscar: Michael is having a hard time with the gender part of Spanish. So, I told him to mark everything with the international symbol for gender and, um... [holds up sticky notes with male and female.. genitalia drawn on them] I should have been more specific.
Oscar: [in Michael's office] Your office is full of genitalia.
Michael Scott: Eso es lo que dice el!
Oscar: That's what he says?
Michael Scott: Damnit!
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12
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Andy: You know, when I tore my scrot, I was, uh, I was seeing this really hot urologist about it and, I thought she was into me. But, now I think she was just doing a bunch of stuff to bill my HMO. You know. She's touching around down there it's easy to get confused.
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11
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Michael Scott: Right here, we have the wonder twins, Jim and Pam Halpert. They will be assisting you today.
Donna: You look exactly alike!
Pam Halpert: Oh, no! We're actually married, we're not brother and sister.
Donna: I have a sense about these things.
Jim Halpert: Alright!
Donna: You have some ancestors in common... somewhere back!
Angela: I knew it! You should see their baby.
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10
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[Kelly hangs up after an argument over the phone]
Dwight Shrute: Man! White people, right?
Kelly: I don't know if she was white.
Dwight Shrute: Well you can kind of tell from their voice.
Kelly: Yeah.
Dwight Shrute: I bet you get pulled over by the cops a lot because of your race.
Kelly: Well they say it's because of texting but, maybe you're right.
Dwight Shrute: I think you should consider applying for the executive minority training program.
Kelly: I never thought of myself as an executive before.
Dwight Shrute: I know because you have no role models! How many Indian CEOs can you think of?
Kelly: I can't think of any CEOs. Any race.
Dwight Shrute: You could be the Indian Bill Gates. You could be the Indian... Ted Turner.
Kelly: I could be the Indian Julia Roberts.
Dwight Shrute: That's not... [sighs] she's... OK. Yes.
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10
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Dwight Shrute: How has being a minority affected you.
Kelly: Well there's a lot of pressure from my parents, to settle down and marry an Indian guy.
Dwight Shrute: Oh good, and you resent this because?
Kelly: Indian guys always wear their cellphones outside their pants. It's so dorky.
Dwight Shrute: No no no. That's not dorky. [takes out cellphone] Look, it's easily accessible. Boom, like this. 911 hello Scranton strangler's in the house. Inside the house! [closes phone]
Kelly: Just put it, in your pocket.
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9
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Oscar: I don't see how we can possibly sell these for that little without losing money. Delivery alone will cost--
Michael Scott: OK well sometimes, sometimes, it makes financial sense to lose money, right? Like for tax purposes?
Oscar: Actually, I ran the numbers on this, and in this case, it makes financial sense to gain, money?
Michael Scott: Why don't you run them again.
Jim Halpert: What if she's just flirting with you to get a better price.
Michael Scott: If she is it's working.
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8
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[showing off the photos from a scanner at a sales meeting
Michael Scott: I took the liberty to scan a few things earlier and I want to show you [up pops of photo of Michael] There we go! Look at those vivid colors. Look at my eyes! Those are Shrek green eyes. [shows a photo of Michael smiling with teeth] That is me again! I think this displays the crisp, dazzling white. [shows a photo of a black man in underwear] And that would be a display of the crisp. gorgeous black.
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8
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Michael Scott: This is a place that I like to go to be alone with my thoughts. I've never taken anybody there before.
Donna: Who took the photo?
Michael Scott: Ryan.
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8
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Jim Halpert: She does not like him.
Pam Halpert: You can flirt with someone to get what you want, and also be attracted to them. How do you think we got together.
Jim Halpert: Cause I stopped by your desk like fifteen times a day.
Pam Halpert: I was after your money.
Jim Halpert: Well the joke was on you.
Pam Halpert: Yes it was.
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8
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Michael Scott: What sort of movie would Rudy have been if he had just stopped and given up after two rejections. Would've been a less shorter. Probably been a lot funnier. But it would have ultimately been a disappointment. I still would have seen it. But, that's not... the point.
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7
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Michael Scott: Buneos dias Dwight!
Dwight Shrute: Guten tag, hier Michael.
[cut to talking head]
Dwight Shrute: I don't understand why Michael is wasting his time with Spanish. I have it on very good authority, that within twenty years everyone will be speaking German. [pause] Or a Chinese-German hybrid.
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6
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Dwight Shrute: Kelly will be even worse than Darryl. If you'd have told me this morning that today I'd be creating a monster capable of my own destruction, I'd have thought you were referring to the bull Mose and I are trying to reanimate.
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6
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Gabe: They're going to be pretty pleased in Tallahassee that I snagged an Indian for the program. She'll be the first, the program's mostly black it's, almost too black. That didn't sound right.
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6
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Dwight Shrute: Just once, I would like to be a puppet master and have nothing go wrong. Is that too much to ask?
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5
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Jim Halpert: Alright so I'll finish up on bulk pricing and then you go into delivery guarantee.
Pam Halpert: You know maybe there's an opportunity for a joke there. Like um, like, "I just delivered a baby. They didn't offer me a guarantee!"
Jim Halpert: Yeah or maybe we don't even need that.
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5
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Dwight Shrute: One minority from this branch is going to get into this program. Who would I prefer? Hmm. A competent hard-working one who does things his own way? Or the malleable simpleton who can be bought for a few fashion magazines?
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5
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Kelly: [on the phone] This is the second time that you've sent me the wrong size. I mean I know what a four should feel like I've been a four my whole life. You know what? You can go to hell, alright? Thanks for nothing.
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5
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Michael Scott: It's subtle. This is how it works. I show her an image that turns her on. And, then she looks at me and then she looks at the image then back at me then back at the image, soon she doesn't know what is me what is the image, she just knows that she is turned on.
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5
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Kevin: Look at that. She's totally flirting with him.
Phyllis: Hmm you don't know that. Some people can't help oozing sexuality.
Creed: You ever notice you can only ooze two things? Sexuality and puss. Man I tell ya.
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5
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Kelly: Can you stop micro-managing? I know how to do this.
Dwight Shrute: What are you guys doing?
Kelly: This girl was really rude to me at the mall, so I created a fake IM account from a hot guy at her high school, and now I'm trying to make her anorexic.
Ryan: Tell her everyone in homeroom thinks she's fat.
Kelly: That is so good.
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5
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Pam Halpert: I'm not saying she's in love with him, but she could've left a while ago! Most printer sales are done over the phone Ms. Boobshirt!
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5
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Dwight Shrute: Kelly is disqualified!
Gabe: What?
Dwight Shrute: You said the program is not open to Caucasians. Well, [opens encyclopedia] anthropologically she is Indian. Indians migrated from the Caucasus region of Europe. Therefore technically she is Caucasian. [to camera] You're welcome America.
Gabe: Yeah but she's not white though.
Dwight Shrute: Well, obviously, she's, brown-ish but, come on I mean Darryl is far more, ethnic.
Gabe: Darryl withdrew his application. The dates of the Yale program interfered with his softball league so, he's gone.
[cut to talking head]
Darryl: I've got my whole life to be a minority executive. Only have about a year left in these knees though.
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5
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Kelly: [Kelly walks in wearing a bindi] Hello.
Gabe: That's very nice. I never noticed that before.
Kelly: Sometimes my bangs cover it.
Gabe: I don't wanna be offensive but, uh, may I ask you what that means?
Kelly: I do find that offensive actually.
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5
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Donna: [seeing Michael running to his car] Michael!
Michael Scott: Oh! You're still here. I have your baguette.
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4
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Michael Scott: Hi! Sorry, to interrupt, a little time sensitive. [to Donna] Do you, Donna, by any chance happen to shop at Victoria Secret?
Jim Halpert: What.
Michael Scott: Because I keep getting these magazines sent to me via the address of the woman who used to live in my condo before me?
Jim Halpert: None of this is time sensitive.
Michael Scott: Uh, yes. Uh, the sale is on now through May.
Donna: Oh, yeah, thank you!
Michael Scott: OK, I have more of them.
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4
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Gabe: You would have, weekly conference calls with executives in corporate, a two-week training program at the Yale School of Management, obviously you would be high on the list of advancement opportunities.
Darryl: Sounds all right.
Dwight Shrute: What is this?
Gabe: Oh this is Print In All Colors, Sabre's minority executive training program.
Dwight Shrute: Pfft. It doesn't just sound "igt," it sounds amazing!
Darryl: I didn't say igt.
Dwight Shrute: How do I apply?
Gabe: You have to be a minority.
Dwight Shrute: Uh, glasses wearers? Cholera survivors? Genuses? Non-organic family farmers? The list goes on and on you want me to keep going?
Gabe: Those don't really count. We're thinking more, ethnic and racial minorities.
Dwight Shrute: Come here, come here. Ten seconds ago this guy was driving a forklift, OK? Now all of a sudden he's Cinderella of the office. What are you guys thinking?
Darryl: I like the sound of this. Maybe someday I'll be sitting in Michael's chair. [staring at Dwight] Wouldn't that be something.
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4
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Donna: Was it professional, no. But I work in the nightlife industry, I get hit on all the time. In my, twenties, it would have been annoying. In my late-twenties I find it really flattering.
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4
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Dwight Shrute: How would one of you feel, if I told you I could put you on a fast track to an executive position at this company.
Erin: Holy cow. I'd be so happy.
Dwight Shrute: I wasn't talking to you, Pale Face.
Erin: I know, I mean I'd be happy for them!
Dwight Shrute: What I'm offering is a ticket on a bullet train, straight to middle-management.
Stanley: Dwight, I know this program. "Every color is important because together we make a rainbow."
Dwight Shrute: Yes.
Stanley: I'll slap you in the face with a rainbow.
Erin: Mmm!
Dwight Shrute: Speaking of rainbows, Oscar, you are, kind of a double minority. Gay. So, we at Sabre could really benefit from your perspective.
Oscar: Dwight. We know Kelly applied. We're not going to cross her. No matter how good the program is.
Dwight Shrute: I can protect you from Kelly.
Erin: [scoffs]
Dwight Shrute: Will you get out of here? Seriously!
4 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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