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You know I just realized, this is Pam's and my first night away together. I used to play it over in my head, and it was just a little bit different. Maybe a, uh, nice hotel, or a romantic dinner? Wine. But wine that wasn't made out of beets. Didn't think Dwight would be involved at all. And, uh, I always imagined less manure. I mean some manure. Just, less.
Yes, money has been a little bit tight lately. But, at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I going to be thinking about much money I have? No. I'm going to be thinking about, how many friends I have. And my children. And my comedy albums. I mean, I have a yacht so I obviously did pretty well money wise.
Yeah, I didn't think I had. Well, it was all about Pam.
[more incoherent mumbling]
Yeah, she was with Roy, and, uh, I just couldn't take it. I mean, I lost it, Dwight. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate on anything. Even weird stuff, like food had no taste. So my solution was to move away. It was awful. It was something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and that includes you.
[sobs and reaches out for Jim, who has already walked away]
In the Schrute family, we have a tradition where when the male has sex with another woman, he is rewarded with a bag of wild oats left on his doorstep by his parents. You can use those oats to make oatmeal, bread, whatever you want, I don't care. They're your oats.
I've always wanted to be in the witness protection program. Fresh start. No debts, no baggage. Already got my name picked out. Lord Rupert Everton. I am, uh, shipping merchant who raises fancy dogs. That's the life.
TripAdvisor is the lifeblood of the agri-tourism industry. A couple of bad reviews there, you may as well close up shop. That's what took down the Stalk Inn, one of the cutest little asparagus farms you'll ever see.
That's- how did you get that from what Oscar's saying. That's not-
H-how how-- I mean, Michael, how did this happen? Where exactly did your money go? Uh-I don't-- I don't get this. I really don't. I don't- I don't understand how, you could be so [sigh] irresponsible. I mean- ah!- it's just- it is astounding to me! Really! I don't know what more to say. I hoped that--
I left a little present for Angela. I think she's going to like it. 'Cause I found it outside Vance Refrigeration all alone. And I told her in the note, that the cat came to find her. That they were destined to be together... I got game.
You know who loves interior design? My friend Todd Packer. He... He's always asking if Jan's carpet matches her drapes. Now, although, he says that he prefers it when there is no carpet. Which doesn't make sense because I've been to his apartment and there is shag carpeting all over the place. So, I guess people's design sensibilities change.
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