1737 quotes from The Office!
The Office Season 4 - Money
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40
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| Ryan: | What I really want, honestly, Michael is for you to know it so that you can communicate it to the people here, to your clients, whomever. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh okay. |
| Ryan: | What? |
| Michael Scott: | It's whoever, not whomever. |
| Ryan: | It's whomever. |
| Michael Scott: | No, whomever is never acutally right. |
| Jim Halpert: | Nope, sometimes it's right. |
| Creed: | Michael is right. It's a made up word used to trick students- |
| Andy: | No. Actually, whomever is the formal version of the word-- |
| Oscar: | Obviously it's a real word- but I don't know how to use it correctly. |
| Michael Scott: | [to camera] Not a native speaker. |
| Kevin: | I know what's right. But I'm not gonna say. Because you're all jerks who didn't come see my band last night. |
| Ryan: | Do you really know which one is correct? |
| Kevin: | I don't know. |
| Pam Beesly: | It's whom when it's the object of the sentence and who when as the subject. |
| Phyllis: | That sounds right. |
| Michael Scott: | Well it sounds right but is it? |
| Stanley: | How did Ryan use it, as an object? |
| Ryan: | As an object. |
| Kelly: | Ryan used me as an object. |
| Oscar: | Is he right about that-- |
| Pam Beesly: | How did he use it again? |
| Toby: | It was, Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to explain the computer system, the object-- |
| Michael Scott: | Thank you! |
| Toby: | ...to whomever, meaning us, the indirect object. Which is the, the correct usage of the word. |
| Michael Scott: | No one, uh asked you anything ever so whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it in your skull? |
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25
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| Michael Scott: | Yes, money has been a little bit tight lately. But, at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I going to be thinking about much money I have? No. I'm going to be thinking about, how many friends I have. And my children. And my comedy albums. I mean, I have a yacht so I obviously did pretty well money wise. |
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25
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| Jim Halpert: | Mmm... I'd say one in six. |
| Pam Beesly: | What? |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh I thought you asked me what our chances were of being murdered here tonight. |
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21
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| Jim Halpet: | You know I just realized, this is Pam's and my first night away together. I used to play it over in my head, and it was just a little bit different. Maybe a, uh, nice hotel, or a romantic dinner? Wine. But wine that wasn't made out of beets. Didn't think Dwight would be involved at all. And, uh, I always imagined less manure. I mean some manure. Just, less. |
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20
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| Pam Beesly: | Jim's just really passionate about Italian food. |
| [cut to Jim] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Yep. I'm very passionate about Italian food. In fact, um, I'm in love with Italian food. |
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16
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| Pam Beesly: | The Beets Motel. |
| Jim Halpert: | The Beets Motel. That is- Wow. |
| Pam Beesly: | Thank you. |
| Jim Halpert: | Borscht Hotel. |
| Pam Beesly: | The Embassy Beets. Radish Inn! |
| Jim Halpert: | How are you doing this? |
| Pam Beesly: | I donno! |
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13
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| Oscar: | Hey, I just wanted you to know, that you can't just say the word bankruptcy and expect anything to happen. |
| Michael Scott: | I didn't say it, I declared it. |
| Oscar: | Still.. that's.. it's not anything. |
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13
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| Dwight Schrute: | In the Schrute family, we have a tradition where when the male has sex with another woman, he is rewarded with a bag of wild oats left on his doorstep by his parents. You can use those oats to make oatmeal, bread, whatever you want, I don't care. They're your oats. |
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13
votes
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| Michael Scott: | [imitating Meryl Streep] Get me Armani. |
| Pam Beesly: | A suit? |
| Michael Scott: | On the phone! |
| Pam Beesly: | Like the main company number 'cause I'm going to have to call information-- |
| Michael Scott: | Where's Armani? He's on the phone. Too slow. [whispers] You're not going to Paris! I'm so much better then you are. |
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11
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| Andy: | You need to set me up with her. I know she told you that she's looking, and she's totally not responding to my moves. |
| Pam Beesly: | What moves? |
| Andy: | I've moonwalked past accounting like ten times. |
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11
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| Pam Beesly: | We wrote a good review. Under comments, we wrote: the natural aroma of the beets drifts into the bedrooms and makes you dream of simpler times. |
| Jim Halpert: | The dawn goosewalk will tug at your heartstrings. |
| Pam Beesly: | Tablemaking never seemed so possible. |
| Jim Halpert: | You will never want to leave your room. |
| Pam Beesly: | The architecture reminds one of a quant Tuscan beet farm. |
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11
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| Jim Halpert: | 'Break me off a piece of that apple sauce.' I don't think that's how it goes... |
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11
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| Dwight Schrute: | Now then, do you have any special needs or dietary restrictions? |
| Jim Halpert: | Yes, we will be requiring a bedtime story. |
| Dwight Schrute: | No. |
| Jim Halpert: | Not even Harry Potter? |
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10
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| Michael Scott: | And the best way to start is to hit... Start. And up comes the toolbar. That's what she said. |
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10
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| Dwight Schrute: | As of this morning, we are completely wireless, here at Schrute Farms. But as soon as I find out where Mose hid all the wires, we'll get that power back on. |
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10
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| Andy: | ...piece of that Chry-sler car. |
| Jim Halpert: | No. |
| Andy: | Foot-ball cream. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay. It's football cream. It's football cream. |
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9
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| Jim Halpert: | What do you got going on tonight? |
| Michael Scott: | You wouldn't understand. It's a secret. |
| Jim Halpert: | I wouldn't understand or it's a secret? |
| Pam Beesly: | You wouldn't understand, Jim. It's a secret. |
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9
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| Dwight Schrute: | Oh. Jim. I thought you were Mose. |
| Jim Halpert: | Does Mose have nightmares? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Oh yes. Ever since The Storm. |
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8
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| Pam Beesly: | Now that I think about it, Angela and Andy might actually make a good couple... but I couldn't do that to Dwight. Or Angela... or Andy. |
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8
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| Creed: | Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to [holds up passport] Williams Charles Schneider. |
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7
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| Michael Scott: | Alright, you know what? Watch this. If I had money problems, would I do this? |
| [Michael crumbles up a bill then puts it back into his pocket] | |
| Stanley: | You put it back in your pocket. |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah but I destroyed it. It's not even usable anymore. |
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7
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| Kelly: | Darryl Philbin is the most complicated man that I have ever met. I mean who says exactly what they're thinking? [shakes shoulders] What kind of game is that? |
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6
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| Michael Scott: | Don't sell your implants please. |
| Jan: | I'm keeping them. I know you like 'em... They're kind of uncomfortable though. |
| Michael Scott: | That's nice. |
| Jan: | Kind of painful. |
| Michael Scott: | Looks cute. |
| Jan: | My nipples aren't as sensitive now. |
| Michael Scott: | Looks cute though. |
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6
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| Michael Scott: | I've always wanted to be in the witness protection program. Fresh start. No debts, no baggage. Already got my name picked out. Lord Rupert Everton. I am, uh, shipping merchant who raises fancy dogs. That's the life. |
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6
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| Call center boss: | Everybody in the conference room in five minutes! |
| Michael Scott: | These meetings are useless. |
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6
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| Stanley: | When I'm at home at night in my own house in my sweats drinking some red wine and watching my mystery stories, the last thing in the whole godforsaken world I wanna hear is the voice of Michael Scott. |
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6
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| [as Dwight is moaning] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Did I ever tell you why I left Scranton? |
| Dwight Schrute: | [incoherent mumbling] No you didn't. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, I didn't think I had. Well, it was all about Pam. |
| Dwight Schrute: | [more incoherent mumbling] |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, she was with Roy, and, uh, I just couldn't take it. I mean, I lost it, Dwight. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate on anything. Even weird stuff, like food had no taste. So my solution was to move away. It was awful. It was something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and that includes you. |
| Dwight Schrute: | [sobs and reaches out for Jim, who has already walked away] |
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5
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| Jim Halpert: | You okay? |
| Dwight Schrute: | I am better than you have ever been and ever will be. |
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5
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| Michael Scott: | Yes, I forgot about Ryan's presentation. And yes, it would have been nice to do well at the first presentation that he'd given me. But you know what else would've been nice? Winning the lottery. |
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5
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| Phyllis: | He's always been terrible with money. |
| Stanley: | I bet it's Jan sending him straight to the poor house. |
| Kevin: | Yeah, women be shoppin'. |
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4
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| Michael Scott: | People have said I have very pretty eyes... I haven't heard the same about you. |
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4
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| Andy: | Sooo... |
| Pam Beesly: | What's up? |
| Andy: | Me, all night. Dreaming about Angela's smokin' hot body. |
| Pam Beesly: | You're being gross. |
| Andy: | Not from a male perspective. |
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4
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| Angela: | You may ask me out to dinner. Nothing fancy or foreign. No bars. No patios. No vegetables. And no seafood. |
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4
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| Dwight Schrute: | TripAdvisor is the lifeblood of the agri-tourism industry. A couple of bad reviews there, you may as well close up shop. That's what took down the Stalk Inn, one of the cutest little asparagus farms you'll ever see. |
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4
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| Dwight Schrute: | Mose what are you doing? No Mose! Put the manure down! Put it down do not throw it! Do not!-- Ow! |
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3
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| Michael Scott: | Okay. I know what's going on. Talking about Jim and Pam. If they're having sex. What it looks like, I know. I think-- |
| Pam Beesly: | Michael? |
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3
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| Michael Scott: | How was yoga? |
| Jan: | I didn't go. |
| Michael Scott: | Why- why not? |
| Jan: | I just didn't! |
| Michael Scott: | Okay. |
| Jan: | How was improv? |
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3
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| Ryan: | Okay. Michael, why don't you start us off? |
| Michael Scott: | Um. That wasn't much of an introduction. |
| Ryan: | Ladies and gentleman, your boss, Michael Scott. |
| Michael Scott: | [getting up] Still lame. |
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3
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| Call center boss: | Are you quitting? |
| Michael Scott: | [long pause] I am. |
| Call center boss: | Come back any time, don't forget to disinfect your headset. |
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3
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| Oscar: | Michael, are you having money problems? |
| Michael Scott: | Monkey problems. No I'm not having monkey problems. Why would I have monkey problems. |
| Oscar: | You heard me correctly. |
| Michael Scott: | Ohhh I hate monkeys. |
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3
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| Andy: | I left a little present for Angela. I think she's going to like it. 'Cause I found it outside Vance Refrigeration all alone. And I told her in the note, that the cat came to find her. That they were destined to be together... I got game. |
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3
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| Jan: | You're broke? |
| Michael Scott: | That's- how did you get that from what Oscar's saying. That's not- |
| Jan: | H-how how-- I mean, Michael, how did this happen? Where exactly did your money go? Uh-I don't-- I don't get this. I really don't. I don't- I don't understand how, you could be so [sigh] irresponsible. I mean- ah!- it's just- it is astounding to me! Really! I don't know what more to say. I hoped that-- |
| Oscar: | Jan? |
| Jan: | Yeah, what? |
| Oscar: | Michael left. |
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2
votes
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| Dwight Schrute: | We offer tours of the fields, and of the barn. Perhaps you'd be interested in Mose's table making demonstration. |
1
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