The Office Season 6 Quotes - Murder
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
17
likes
like
| Kevin: | Michael, did you just throw-up in there? |
| Michael Scott: | Nah. Just poopin'. You know how I be. |
| Kevin: | It smells like throw-up in here. |
| Michael Scott: | Crazy world. Lot of smells. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
11
likes
like
| Andy: | I'm a little worried that I may have asked out Naughty Nelly instead of Erin. Which would be whole lot less appealing, because Naughty Nelly says yes to everyone. And she might be a murderer. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
9
likes
like
| Dwight Schrute: | Michael, what is the meaning of this email that everyone got? |
| Michael Scott: | You'll have to be more specific, Dwight. I get like eight e-mails a day. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
9
likes
like
| Pam Beesly: | I think Michael may have snapped. |
| Jim Halpert: | Or maybe he's just stuck in character. |
| Pam Beesly: | Which is worse? Snapped or stuck? |
| Jim Halpert: | Both. They're both worse. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
8
likes
like
| Dwight Schrute: | [reading email] "I'm sure you've seen the item in the Journal. I just want to stress that it's all conjecture, if we have any concrete information, you will know ASAP." |
| Michael Scott: | Erin, do we have the journal? |
| Erin: | Your feelings journal? You told me to put it in the time capsule. |
| Michael Scott: | Did you? |
| Pam Beesly: | He means the Wall Street Journal, online. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh, the Wall. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
5
likes
like
| Dwight Schrute: | You can all have jobs at Schrute Farms as human scarecrows. Although it doesn't pay much, and you can't uniounize. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
5
likes
like
| Dwight Schrute: | Vudu Mama Juju, explain your dalliance with the dark arts. |
| Angela: | Not my fault. I was exposed to Harry Potter. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
4
likes
like
| Michael Scott: | "Battleship" got me through my parents' divorce. "Operation" got me through my vasectomy. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
4
likes
like
| Jim Halpert: | OK, with all due respect to everyone here, I think the most worthy opponent of you is you. |
| Dwight Schrute: | That is correct. Unless there happened to be measles present. |
| Jim Halpert: | So let's just say that Dwight has come at you with the throat punch. Now how would you, Dwight, defend against it? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Easy. Allow me to demonstrate. I am attacking myself with a throat punch. Here it comes. [gives himself a fake throat punch] Block. Grasp wrist as such. [grasps wrist] |
| Jim Halpert: | And what if he comes at you with the other hand, because he does have two. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Good point. Second, throat punch, absorb the blow. [gives himself another throat punch and proceeds to both attack and defend himself] Groin punch, hip block, elbow to the gut. Uh oh, up to the nose. No, you're not. Ow! Oh! |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh my God, he's making you look like such a fool. |
| Dwight Schrute: | He really is, but not for long. [steps on foot] Ow! Instep, oh, not again. [more screaming] You let go, you let go. Oh, you're right, I can't hold on. |
| Jim Halpert: | You two are so evenly matched I don't know how one of you is going to get the upper hand. |
| Dwight Schrute: | The important thing to remember Jim... we always have what is called the element of surprise. [hits himself in the groin and moans] |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
4
likes
like
| [Creed pulls into the parking lot and goes into the office] | |
| Creed: | Sorry I'm late, boss. What's going on? |
| Michael Scott: | [accent] Sir, there has been a murder, and you are a suspect. |
| Creed: | OK. Hang on just a second. Let me just settle in and I'll be right back. |
| Michael Scott: | Very good, very good. Now, no one was there in the wine cellar. |
| [Creed gets in his car and drives away] |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
3
likes
like
| Michael Scott: | Tube City, you owe me one. |
| Jim Halpert: | [In talking head] Co-managing is a give and take. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles that I picked was to stop Michael from running plastic tubes all over the office and placing hamsters inside of them. He was going to call it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
3
likes
like
| Michael Scott: | [accent] Whoa. What's this strange Yankee accent coming out of your mouth, son? This here's Savannah. |
| Oscar: | [tries to speak in a high-pitched southern accent] This plantation, we're running low on greenbacks. We're having problems paying the people who give us the seeds and the dirt. We can't pay... [in regular voice] - Michael, I can't - Basically it could mean a lot of things, but it is unprecedented, so it's cause for concern. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
3
likes
like
| Kevin: | Now do the Swedish Chef |
| Andy: | Um, I'm not familiar, what province is he from? |
| Kevin: | He lives on Sesame Street dumbass. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
2
likes
like
| Michael Scott: | Monkey see, monkey do. |
| Jim Halpert: | That's it. |
| Michael Scott: | Monkey pee all over you. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
2
likes
like
| Phyllis: | You know, I think I'm supposed to say something to Pam, I mean, Deb, Okay? [in character] I overheard you asking the butler where the pistol was kept. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm the butler. You were listening in on that? You rich people. You think you can do whatever you want to the servant class! |
| Michael Scott: | No, no, no. Don't turn this into a political thing. |
| Dwight Schrute: | I will poison your food. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
2
likes
like
| Dwight Schrute: | I know she didn't do it. It's never the person you most suspect. It's also never the person you least suspect, since anyone with half a brain would suspect them the most. Therefore I know the killer to be Phyllis, AKA Beatrix Bourbon, the person I most medium suspect. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
2
likes
like
| [Andy, Michael, and Dwight are pointing imaginary guns at each other] | |
| Andy: | I didn't do it! |
| Dwight Schrute: | Okay, everybody just calm down. |
| Andy: | I am calm. |
| Michael Scott: | On the count of three we're all going to put down our guns. |
| Dwight Schrute: | I have crossbows. |
| Michael Scott: | We'll put down our weaponry on the count of three, you ready? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Okay, I'm ready. |
| Michael Scott: | One, two, three.. [all scream] |
| [cut to talking head] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Andy revealed himself to be a double agent. At which point Dwight felt comfortable revealing that he also was double agent. And then Michael announced to everybody that - get this- he was a double agent. Oh, and it is 6:00. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
1
like
like
| Jim Halpert: | Once a year Dwight holds a seminar updating us on the newest developments in the world of karate... because as we all know, the one thing thousand year martial arts do all the time is change. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
1
like
like
| Jim Halpert: | I think today was a good day to have two managers. 'Cause if you're a family stuck on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, one parent might want to just keep rowing. But if the other parent wants to play a game, it's not because they're crazy. It's because they're doing it for the kids. And I get that now. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
1
like
like
| [Michael, Dwight, Andy and now Pam are in the circle and training their 'weapons' on each other, Jim walks in] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Really? |
| Pam Beesly: | [accent] It wasn't me. I'm not goin' down for this! |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, I want to go home. |
| Pam Beesly: | Get the keys out of my purse, start the car. [Jim and Pam slowly back out of the office, Pam has her weapon trained on everyone and then they run out] |
| [after a while, Micheal, Dwight and Andy start shooting then everyone dies] |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
0
likes
like
| Pam Beasley: | Bill Bourbon was my uncle. I would have never hurt him any more than I'd hurt a June bug. |
| Meredith: | Nice Accent. You sound like Forrest Gump. |
| Pam Beasley: | I do not. |
| Andy: | Well, you do actually. You've got this kinda like Florida Panhandle thing going, whereas what you really want is more of a Savannah accent, which is more like molasses just sorta spillin' out of your mouth. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
0
likes
like
| Michael Scott: | [comes into Jim's office using accent] Deb, what in the world - do you have the vapors? |
| Jim Halpert: | Michael, not now. |
| Michael Scott: | Can't wait, we have to get you to our witch doctor right now. Come on. Come on. |
| Pam Beasley: | I should just go. [accent] Where to now Caleb? |
| Michael Scott: | To Mama Juju Boo Boo. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
0
likes
like
| Pam Beesly: | What's the news? |
| Jim Halpert: | Nothing yet. |
| Pam Beesly: | Well I guess that's not- |
| Jim Halpert: | Well there is some bad news... [accent] There has been another murder. |
| Michael Scott: | Another murder, you say? I do declare. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
0
likes
like
| Jim Halpert: | Andy revealed himself to be a double agent. At which point Dwight felt comfortable revealing that he also was double agent. And then Michael announced to everybody that - get this- he was a double agent. Oh, and it is 6:00. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
0
likes
like
| Angela: | I don't like my character. |
| Pam Beasley: | Who are you? |
| Angela: | Voodoo Mama Juju, the witch doctor of the Savannah swamps. I'm not comfortable with this. [holds up a fake head] |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
0
likes
like
| Michael Scott: | [looks at Oscar, who is using his phone, and grabs it from him] Well, well, well. What is this contraption, I do declare? |
| Oscar: | It's my blackberry Michael, I am trying to get updates on the company. |
| Michael Scott: | Who's Michael? I'm Caleb Crawdad, I do declare. |
| Ryan: | You don't have to keep saying "I do declare". Any time you say something it means you are declaring. |
| Michael Scott: | That is the way Southern people talk. |
| Jim Halpert: | And what Designing Woman are you basing that on? |
| Michael Scott: | Delta Burke, I do declare. Now, shall we get to the mystery? |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
5 Comments in the Conference Room