Angela Quotes From The Office

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Kevin: Do you want to go to the beach?
Angela: Maybe.
Kevin: Do you want to get high?
Angela: No.
Kevin: I think you do, mon.
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Pam Beesly: Hello everyone. We would just like to announce that our party is starting now in the break room. So, come by--
Angela: I have a really important announcement to make. About. Your paychecks. Um... your paychecks will be arriving, as scheduled, on Friday. And they will be in the correct amount, that they normally are in. Please stand by for a very important announcement, further, regarding your paycheck! [runs out of the room]
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Andy: Is it true?
Angela: What have you heard?
Andy: That you're sleeping with Dwight.
Angela: That doesn't sound like me.
Andy: Is it true.
Angela: Andy, I'm engaged to you. I mean, we just signed off on our wedding flowers. Would I have said yes to formal chrysanthemums if I didn't want to get married? And, we went through all that stuff with our wedding cake--
Andy: Just answer the question. Are you sleeping with Dwight?
Angela: A little bit.
Andy: How long has it been going on?
Angela: I don't know! I mean, we were together and then he killed Sprinkles and then we stopped-- I don't know exactly, when we started up again.
Andy: Who else knows about it?
Angela: Michael.
Andy: Who else?
Angela: [sighs] Let me think about it... I, um...
[Andy turns around to see the whole office staring through the conference room windows]
Andy: Oh God. [to everyone watching] Come on!
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Angela: In the Martin family we like to say, 'looks like someone took the slow train from Philly.' That's code for check out the slut.
[swats at flies]
Angela: Why are there flies in here?
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Pam Beesly: Angela you have to put a stop to this right now!
Angela: [long thoughtful pause] I will respect the results of the duel.
Pam Beesly: Of course you will.
Meredith: I call loser!
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[Kevin grabs two brownies and eats one rapidly]
Angela: Are you swallowing them whole? You're eating them so fast, are they even touching your tongue?
Kevin: [mouth full of brownies] Yes.
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Angela Martin: My doctor wants me to gain weight.
Michael Scott: If you gain weight, you will die.
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Dwight Schrute: [looking around office to see if anyone notices the smoke] Does anyone smell anything smoky?
Angela: Did you bring your jerky in again?
Dwight Schrute: [clears throat]
Pam Beesly: [points to smoke] Oh, my God! Uh, Oh my God!
Phyllis: What--
Andy Bernard: Whoa, fire!
Dwight Schrute: Oh, fire! Oh my goodness! What's the procedure? What do we do, people?
Pam Beesly: The phones are dead.
Dwight Schrute: Oh, how did that happen?
Kevin: It's out in the hall.
Dwight Schrute: No, we don't know that. The smoke could be coming through an air duct.
Michael Scott: Oh my God! Okay, it happening. Everybody stay calm.
Dwight Schrute: What's the procedure, everyone? What's the procedure?
Michael Scott: Stay [bleep] calm!
Dwight Schrute: Wait, wait, wait.
Michael Scott: Everyone, now [bleep] calm down!
Dwight Schrute: No! No, Michael! No! Touch the handle. If it's hot, there could be a fire in the hallway.
Michael Scott: What does warm mean?
Everyone: [groaning] Oh my God.
Dwight Schrute: Not a viable option.
Pam Beesly: Try a different door.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, what's next?
Michael Scott: Don't run.
Dwight Schrute: Oh! Here's a door. Check that one out. How's the handle?
Andy Bernard: It-- it's warm.
Dwight Schrute: Well, uh, another option. [everyone chattering at once]
Jim Halpert: Back door.
Dwight Schrute: Back to our options. Jeez! Ok! settle down everyone. No bunching!
Phyllis: Oh! I forgot my purse.
Stanley: Leave it woman!
Michael Scott: Get out of the way! Go, go, go!
Dwight Schrute: Things can be replaced, Phyllis! People, human lives, however, can...
Oscar: Ah! My hand! That's hot!
Andy Bernard: Aah! This one's hot too!
Michael Scott: Okay, we're trapped. Everyone for himself.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, let's go.
Everyone: [shouting] Out of my way! Let's go. Get out of my way!
Dwight Schrute: Calm, please.
Andy Bernard: Get out of the way!
Dwight Schrute: Have you ever seen a burn victim?
Andy Bernard: Move it!
Dwight Schrute: Okay! Procedure, procedure. Exit options. Where do we go folks? Wha-- Use a what to cover the mouth?
Angela: [pulling cat out of filing drawer] It's okay. Shh shhh.
Dwight Schrute: A what? A rag. A damp rag, perhaps. Let's remember those procedures. What are the options? Okay, that's the wrong way. We've already tried that. Remember your exit points. Exit points people.
Angela: Oscar.
Dwight Schrute: What's next?
Angela: Oscar!
Oscar: Stay alive! I'm getting help!
Angela: Pull me up!
Oscar: You're too heavy!
Angela: I only weigh 82 pounds! Uh-- save Bandit! [throws cat into air duct and he falls out through the other side] Oh!
Dwight Schrute: How about 911? Anyone? 911.
[Michael throws a chair at the window, Kevin smashes a chair through the vending machine and begins to grab snacks, everyone is shouting.]
Pam Beesly: What do we do?
Dwight Schrute: Use the surge of fear and adrenaline to sharpen your decision-making.
Jim Halpert: Okay, I am not dying here. Come on.
[everyone is coughing from the smoke, Dwight lights some fire crackers and they start popping]
Angela: What is that? What is that?
Andy Bernard: The fire's shooting at us!
Phyllis: What in the name of God is going on?!
[Dwight pulls fire alarm]
Phyllis and Creed: Ahhhh!!! [Oscar's leg crashes through the ceiling]
Andy Bernard: Go, go, go, go, go!! [Andy and Jim ram the door with the copy machine]
Michael Scott: [throws the projector out the window] Help!! Help!!
Stanley: I'm about to die!
Dwight Schrute: [blowing air horn] Attention everyone! Employees of Dunder Mifflin! This has been a test of our emergency preparedness. There is no fire. It was only a simulation.
Jim Halpert: What?!
Dwight Schrute: Fire not real. This was merely a training exercise. [Oscar drops down from the ceiling] So, what have we learned? [Stanley falls to the floor] Oh come on. It's not real Stanley. Don't have a heart attack.
Michael Scott: No, no, no! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is president! You are black, Stanley! I'm gonna give him mouth to mouth.
Jim Halpert: No, no, no! Don't give him mouth to mouth for this!
Michael Scott: He's going to swallow is tongue.
Jim Halpert: No. Michael. Michael.
Michael Scott: Open your mouth. Come on. Don't swallow it.
Jim Halpert: [everyone shouting at once] Michael! Michael!
Michael Scott: Leave me al--
Andy Bernard: You're choking him!
Michael Scott: Saving him!
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