Angela:	[irate] The man is wearing sandals. I don't need to see Oscar's toes at work! Gross! I mean it looks like he just got off the boat!
Toby:	Can't you just not look at his feet?
Angela:	Excuse me? Oh. You're so educated aren't you Toby? [screaming] So trained to deal with a hysterical woman I don't want to look at his feet! [walking out] Do your job!

Angela:	Sure. Let's protect the convicts. At the expense of the general feeling of safety in the workplace. As a 90 pound female that sits in an ill-lit, rarely visited corner of the office, naturally I agree with that.
Michael Scott:	Good.

Angela:	My worst breakup, was actually two breakups. Two different men. I was in love with both of them and, when things went bad... they had a duel over me.
Oscar:	Yeah Dwight and Andy, we were here.
Angela:	No. This was years ago when I was living in Ohio. John Mark and John David.
Oscar:	Angela you had two sets of different men... actually duel over you?
Angela:	I guess I have...

Michael Scott:	I looked at Wallace and I said, "I quit." And as I turned to leave, I looked back and I said, "you have no idea how high I can fly."
Stanley:	You didn't tell him how sick of him you were?
Michael Scott:	Why would I do that?
Angela:	Well wouldn't it feel good to tell him he's incompetant or...
Kevin:	That he's wasted fifteen years of your life.
Meredith:	Maybe spit in his face.
Michael Scott:	You guys have thought about this a lot more than I have. I just.. winged it.

Michael Scott:	Tonight we are going to have an inventory luau. I want to bring back a little slice of paradise to the Dunder Mifflin warehouse inventory, so party-planning committee, get on it.
Angela:	By the end of the day? That's impossible.
Michael Scott:	The Jamaicans don't have a word for 'impossible.'
Jim Halpert:	Yep, it's English, it's 'impossible.'

Angela:	I can't believe they're going to fight over me.
Kelly:	I guess people have fewer choices as they get older.

Angela:	Has this been on the entire time?
Oscar:	I have no idea.
Kevin:	I was looking at... pictures of food on my computer.

Nick:	Hey guys. Uh, sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to say good-bye to everyone. Through Teach for America, I'm gonna go down to Detroit and teach inner-city kids about computers.
Gabe:	Uh, not now.
Nick:	Oh yeah it's just my friends are out in the car waiting so I thought...
Stanley:	Phyllis, what's this guy's name again?
Phyllis:	I donno. Is it Shadow or Garth? It's something weird, I--
Nick:	My name is Nick.
Angela:	OK, well, "Nick," we're in a meeting.
Nick:	OK look I get it people. I'm the lame IT guy and everybody hates me.
Jim Halpert:	Hey listen man you can't take it personally.
Nick:	You call me man? I just said my name, just now. Did you forget it already?
Jim Halpert:	No... Sport.
Nick:	You guys have fifteen parties a week, you can't learn my name?
Dwight Shrute:	Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey, IT Guy. Here's the story Champ. None of us have spent a lot of time getting to know you, OK, we liked the last guy, Sadiq, because he kept to himself. And we also thought he might have been a terrorist. You know what I'm gonna leave you with one other thought. Inner-city kids use computers for two things. Games and porn so good luck wasting your life. Lurch.
Nick:	Thank you so much for that. I saw all your hard drives and guess what, [points to Ryan] you're not a photographer [to Kelly] and you definitely can't fit into a size two. Darry man, you're on Facebook. Why you been telling people you're not on Facebook. People wanna be your friend man! Alright. And you, this guy. [points to Andy] You're the one who told the press. You wrote an email to the editor. I saw it and I also saw a Quicktime movie of your little printer fire test on your hard drive. This guy's the snitch, he's the snitch. So, that's it. [gives the finger to the office] Check it out.
	[Nick leaves]
Andy:	We're gonna believe that guy!?

Angela:	How many gods do you have?
Kelly:	Like hundreds I think, maybe more than that.
Angela:	[points to poster on the wall] And that blue, busty gal? What's her story?
Kevin:	She looks like Pam from the neck down.
Dwight Schrute:	[scoffs] Pam wishes.
	[Pam shakes her head in disbelief at the camera]

	[Michael is making farting noises]
Toby:	Come on Michael. You're interrupting.
Michael Scott:	You're kidding me! God! You say radon is silent but deadly and then you expect me not to make farting noises with my mouth? What is this! You know what we're not going to die of radon we're going to die of boredom.
	[office laughs]
Michael Scott:	Right? And if I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.
	[disapproval from everyone]
Dwight Shrute:	You were being really funny, and then you went too far.
Michael Scott:	I would kill Bin Laden and then Toby.
Dwight Shrute:	No, it's still...
Michael Scott:	OK geniuses how would you do it?
Creed:	Curve the bullet, like in my favorite James McAvoy film, um, Wanted.
Oscar:	All that does is help you shoot around things. When there's Bin Laden--
Ryan:	Is there a curtain rod in the room.
Michael Scott:	I donno.
Stanley:	How 'bout make believe land has anyyything you want.
Jim Halpert:	Stanley please. This is serious.
Angela:	Is this the thing where they use an icicle so there's no evidence.
Michael Scott:	Yes, we should stab Toby through the heart with an icicle.
Dwight Shrute:	Come on, the whole two bullet thing is a red herring. Here's how you do it, you line them all up, you take one bullet shoot them all through the throat at the same time. [stands up] Watch this, Phyllis, you're Hitler, come up here. Toby, you're Toby. Andy, you're Bin Laden. Line up. Throats together.
Toby:	I don't wanna do this.
Michael Scott:	Toby just do it! God!
Dwight Shrute:	[holding his fingers like a gun to Phyllis' throat] Ready? One bullet, and, boom! [shows bullet travelling through Toby and Andy's necks]
Michael Scott:	[the office applauds] It works!

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Angela Quotes From The Office

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