Angela Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: Alright here we go. This is gonna be fun. Ready? Alright, first name is Tom.
Jan: No, no, no! No names! No rhyming! No sounds a-likes, you actually have to--
Michael Scott: Ok! Ok! You're getting into my head! First name is blank and he goes on a cruise. He goes on a Caribbean cruiseee.
Angela: I don't know.
Jim Halpert: Katie Holmes.
Michael Scott: Bahhhhhh!! But he's married to her!
Jim Halpert: Oh Dawson's Creek.
Michael Scott: No! No, it has to be a real person, Jim, come on! Ok no no I'm gonna pass. Ahh, oh ok! Um, rhymes with Parnold Sporchzenegger.
Jan: No rhyming!
Jim Halpert: No really a rhyme...
Angela: Another clue! Another clue!
Michael Scott: Alright he's the Governor of California, he is The Terminator...
Angela: Those aren't helpful--
Jim Halpert: Tom Cruise!
Michael Scott: Noo--
Andy: Time!
Michael Scott: Does anyone read the paper??
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[Michael gives Pam his jacket]
Pam Beesly: Oh, thank you.
Michael Scott: You're welcome.
[long pause]
Jan: I'm so, so sorry for the temperature in here. The, uh, sliding glass door shattered. It's actually a really cute story. Do you wanna tell it babe or should I tell it?
Michael Scott: I don't like that story, babe.
Jan: Come on! It's a cute story. Michael ran through the sliding glass door because he thought he heard the ice cream truck.
Michael Scott: Stop! Stop it! I mean.. I like ice cream, ok? Sue me! Oh- no, don't! I shouldn't say that jokingly because she will sue me. She loves to sue! She loves lawsuits. You know, honey, that door was extremely clean, and it looked invisible.
Jan: You are so right. You are SO right! Because before I lived here the glass was always covered with smudges and- and I moved in and I cleaned it and I guess that makes me the devil!
Michael Scott: [laughing hysterically] You are! She is! She is the devil! I'm in hell! I'm burning. Help me.
Angela: You shouldn't joke about that.
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Dwight Schrute: [looking around office to see if anyone notices the smoke] Does anyone smell anything smoky?
Angela: Did you bring your jerky in again?
Dwight Schrute: [clears throat]
Pam Beesly: [points to smoke] Oh, my God! Uh, Oh my God!
Phyllis: What--
Andy Bernard: Whoa, fire!
Dwight Schrute: Oh, fire! Oh my goodness! What's the procedure? What do we do, people?
Pam Beesly: The phones are dead.
Dwight Schrute: Oh, how did that happen?
Kevin: It's out in the hall.
Dwight Schrute: No, we don't know that. The smoke could be coming through an air duct.
Michael Scott: Oh my God! Okay, it happening. Everybody stay calm.
Dwight Schrute: What's the procedure, everyone? What's the procedure?
Michael Scott: Stay [bleep] calm!
Dwight Schrute: Wait, wait, wait.
Michael Scott: Everyone, now [bleep] calm down!
Dwight Schrute: No! No, Michael! No! Touch the handle. If it's hot, there could be a fire in the hallway.
Michael Scott: What does warm mean?
Everyone: [groaning] Oh my God.
Dwight Schrute: Not a viable option.
Pam Beesly: Try a different door.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, what's next?
Michael Scott: Don't run.
Dwight Schrute: Oh! Here's a door. Check that one out. How's the handle?
Andy Bernard: It-- it's warm.
Dwight Schrute: Well, uh, another option. [everyone chattering at once]
Jim Halpert: Back door.
Dwight Schrute: Back to our options. Jeez! Ok! settle down everyone. No bunching!
Phyllis: Oh! I forgot my purse.
Stanley: Leave it woman!
Michael Scott: Get out of the way! Go, go, go!
Dwight Schrute: Things can be replaced, Phyllis! People, human lives, however, can...
Oscar: Ah! My hand! That's hot!
Andy Bernard: Aah! This one's hot too!
Michael Scott: Okay, we're trapped. Everyone for himself.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, let's go.
Everyone: [shouting] Out of my way! Let's go. Get out of my way!
Dwight Schrute: Calm, please.
Andy Bernard: Get out of the way!
Dwight Schrute: Have you ever seen a burn victim?
Andy Bernard: Move it!
Dwight Schrute: Okay! Procedure, procedure. Exit options. Where do we go folks? Wha-- Use a what to cover the mouth?
Angela: [pulling cat out of filing drawer] It's okay. Shh shhh.
Dwight Schrute: A what? A rag. A damp rag, perhaps. Let's remember those procedures. What are the options? Okay, that's the wrong way. We've already tried that. Remember your exit points. Exit points people.
Angela: Oscar.
Dwight Schrute: What's next?
Angela: Oscar!
Oscar: Stay alive! I'm getting help!
Angela: Pull me up!
Oscar: You're too heavy!
Angela: I only weigh 82 pounds! Uh-- save Bandit! [throws cat into air duct and he falls out through the other side] Oh!
Dwight Schrute: How about 911? Anyone? 911.
[Michael throws a chair at the window, Kevin smashes a chair through the vending machine and begins to grab snacks, everyone is shouting.]
Pam Beesly: What do we do?
Dwight Schrute: Use the surge of fear and adrenaline to sharpen your decision-making.
Jim Halpert: Okay, I am not dying here. Come on.
[everyone is coughing from the smoke, Dwight lights some fire crackers and they start popping]
Angela: What is that? What is that?
Andy Bernard: The fire's shooting at us!
Phyllis: What in the name of God is going on?!
[Dwight pulls fire alarm]
Phyllis and Creed: Ahhhh!!! [Oscar's leg crashes through the ceiling]
Andy Bernard: Go, go, go, go, go!! [Andy and Jim ram the door with the copy machine]
Michael Scott: [throws the projector out the window] Help!! Help!!
Stanley: I'm about to die!
Dwight Schrute: [blowing air horn] Attention everyone! Employees of Dunder Mifflin! This has been a test of our emergency preparedness. There is no fire. It was only a simulation.
Jim Halpert: What?!
Dwight Schrute: Fire not real. This was merely a training exercise. [Oscar drops down from the ceiling] So, what have we learned? [Stanley falls to the floor] Oh come on. It's not real Stanley. Don't have a heart attack.
Michael Scott: No, no, no! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is president! You are black, Stanley! I'm gonna give him mouth to mouth.
Jim Halpert: No, no, no! Don't give him mouth to mouth for this!
Michael Scott: He's going to swallow is tongue.
Jim Halpert: No. Michael. Michael.
Michael Scott: Open your mouth. Come on. Don't swallow it.
Jim Halpert: [everyone shouting at once] Michael! Michael!
Michael Scott: Leave me al--
Andy Bernard: You're choking him!
Michael Scott: Saving him!
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[Kevin grabs two brownies and eats one rapidly]
Angela: Are you swallowing them whole? You're eating them so fast, are they even touching your tongue?
Kevin: [mouth full of brownies] Yes.
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Angela: Pet Day. I want Pet Day back. No dogs.
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Andy: Is it true?
Angela: What have you heard?
Andy: That you're sleeping with Dwight.
Angela: That doesn't sound like me.
Andy: Is it true.
Angela: Andy, I'm engaged to you. I mean, we just signed off on our wedding flowers. Would I have said yes to formal chrysanthemums if I didn't want to get married? And, we went through all that stuff with our wedding cake--
Andy: Just answer the question. Are you sleeping with Dwight?
Angela: A little bit.
Andy: How long has it been going on?
Angela: I don't know! I mean, we were together and then he killed Sprinkles and then we stopped-- I don't know exactly, when we started up again.
Andy: Who else knows about it?
Angela: Michael.
Andy: Who else?
Angela: [sighs] Let me think about it... I, um...
[Andy turns around to see the whole office staring through the conference room windows]
Andy: Oh God. [to everyone watching] Come on!
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Pam Beesly: Hello everyone. We would just like to announce that our party is starting now in the break room. So, come by--
Angela: I have a really important announcement to make. About. Your paychecks. Um... your paychecks will be arriving, as scheduled, on Friday. And they will be in the correct amount, that they normally are in. Please stand by for a very important announcement, further, regarding your paycheck! [runs out of the room]
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Michael Scott: What um, what do you think of role play?
Phyllis: It can be fun.
Michael Scott: Yeah? Well, Jan has this school girl fantasy.
Phyllis: That's a pretty common one.
Michael Scott: I just, I feel uncomfortable wearing the dress.
Angela: Okay, I'm gonna be at the doll store.
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Michael Scott: Packer is a survivor of divorce, Stanley. Packer doesn't speak with his child, Meredith. Packer never lived up to his parent's expectations, Andy. [Andy laughs, embarrassed] Angels loves pussycats. Packer loves...
Angela: No, don't!
Michael Scott: I was going to say dogs.
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Jan: You should see our bathroom after Michael takes a bath. Whoo! But I don't have to tell you, Pam.
Pam Beesly: Oh. Yeah. W- what?
Jan: Oh don't tell me that he's really changed since you guys have dated.
Pam Beesly: Oh are- are you joking?
Jan: Michael told me a little bit about it but I see the way you look at him.
Pam Beesly: I have never, ever dated, or wanted to do anything resembling dating Michael, ever. Not ever, not now, not then, not now, not ever, ever.
Angela: I've noticed how you look at him at the office.
Jan: Um-hmm.
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