Dwight Shrute:	Hey monkey how you doin'? Listen can I talk to you for a second?
Angela:	Ok.
Dwight Shrute:	[sighs] You know, I've been thinking. We had a good run. We really did. But you don't need to worry about this whole contract thing anymore.
Angela:	It's no worry.
Dwight Shrute:	It's just that we both-- we want different things. You know, I want a big family...
Angela:	I could see enjoying that.
Dwight Shrute:	N--n--n--no. I want a big family. Tall. Thick. A bigg-- physically, a big family.

Angela:	You embarrassed me earlier.
Erin:	Take it up with the chief of police.
Angela:	Do you think I want people remembering I had sensual relations with Andy? It's the kind of thing you wish you could have annulled. I want to throw up just thinking about it.
Erin:	I want to think about it just thinking about it!
Angela:	You are throwing up for the wrong reasons.

	[Michael goes to give Angela a hug]
Angela:	No. No.
Michael Scott:	Okay...

Dwight Schrute:	[looking around office to see if anyone notices the smoke] Does anyone smell anything smoky?
Angela:	Did you bring your jerky in again?
Dwight Schrute:	[clears throat]
Pam Beesly:	[points to smoke] Oh, my God! Uh, Oh my God!
Phyllis:	What--
Andy Bernard:	Whoa, fire!
Dwight Schrute:	Oh, fire! Oh my goodness! What's the procedure? What do we do, people?
Pam Beesly:	The phones are dead.
Dwight Schrute:	Oh, how did that happen?
Kevin:	It's out in the hall.
Dwight Schrute:	No, we don't know that. The smoke could be coming through an air duct.
Michael Scott:	Oh my God! Okay, it happening. Everybody stay calm.
Dwight Schrute:	What's the procedure, everyone? What's the procedure?
Michael Scott:	Stay [bleep] calm!
Dwight Schrute:	Wait, wait, wait.
Michael Scott:	Everyone, now [bleep] calm down!
Dwight Schrute:	No! No, Michael! No! Touch the handle. If it's hot, there could be a fire in the hallway.
Michael Scott:	What does warm mean?
Everyone:	[groaning] Oh my God.
Dwight Schrute:	Not a viable option.
Pam Beesly:	Try a different door.
Dwight Schrute:	Okay, what's next?
Michael Scott:	Don't run.
Dwight Schrute:	Oh! Here's a door. Check that one out. How's the handle?
Andy Bernard:	It-- it's warm.
Dwight Schrute:	Well, uh, another option. [everyone chattering at once]
Jim Halpert:	Back door.
Dwight Schrute:	Back to our options. Jeez! Ok! settle down everyone. No bunching!
Phyllis:	Oh! I forgot my purse.
Stanley:	Leave it woman!
Michael Scott:	Get out of the way! Go, go, go!
Dwight Schrute:	Things can be replaced, Phyllis! People, human lives, however, can...
Oscar:	Ah! My hand! That's hot!
Andy Bernard:	Aah! This one's hot too!
Michael Scott:	Okay, we're trapped. Everyone for himself.
Dwight Schrute:	Okay, let's go.
Everyone:	[shouting] Out of my way! Let's go. Get out of my way!
Dwight Schrute:	Calm, please.
Andy Bernard:	Get out of the way!
Dwight Schrute:	Have you ever seen a burn victim?
Andy Bernard:	Move it!
Dwight Schrute:	Okay! Procedure, procedure. Exit options. Where do we go folks? Wha-- Use a what to cover the mouth?
Angela:	[pulling cat out of filing drawer] It's okay. Shh shhh.
Dwight Schrute:	A what? A rag. A damp rag, perhaps. Let's remember those procedures. What are the options? Okay, that's the wrong way. We've already tried that. Remember your exit points. Exit points people.
Angela:	Oscar.
Dwight Schrute:	What's next?
Angela:	Oscar!
Oscar:	Stay alive! I'm getting help!
Angela:	Pull me up!
Oscar:	You're too heavy!
Angela:	I only weigh 82 pounds! Uh-- save Bandit! [throws cat into air duct and he falls out through the other side] Oh!
Dwight Schrute:	How about 911? Anyone? 911.
	[Michael throws a chair at the window, Kevin smashes a chair through the vending machine and begins to grab snacks, everyone is shouting.]
Pam Beesly:	What do we do?
Dwight Schrute:	Use the surge of fear and adrenaline to sharpen your decision-making.
Jim Halpert:	Okay, I am not dying here. Come on.
	[everyone is coughing from the smoke, Dwight lights some fire crackers and they start popping]
Angela:	What is that? What is that?
Andy Bernard:	The fire's shooting at us!
Phyllis:	What in the name of God is going on?!
	[Dwight pulls fire alarm]
Phyllis and Creed:	Ahhhh!!! [Oscar's leg crashes through the ceiling]
Andy Bernard:	Go, go, go, go, go!! [Andy and Jim ram the door with the copy machine]
Michael Scott:	[throws the projector out the window] Help!! Help!!
Stanley:	I'm about to die!
Dwight Schrute:	[blowing air horn] Attention everyone! Employees of Dunder Mifflin! This has been a test of our emergency preparedness. There is no fire. It was only a simulation.
Jim Halpert:	What?!
Dwight Schrute:	Fire not real. This was merely a training exercise. [Oscar drops down from the ceiling] So, what have we learned? [Stanley falls to the floor] Oh come on. It's not real Stanley. Don't have a heart attack.
Michael Scott:	No, no, no! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is president! You are black, Stanley! I'm gonna give him mouth to mouth.
Jim Halpert:	No, no, no! Don't give him mouth to mouth for this!
Michael Scott:	He's going to swallow is tongue.
Jim Halpert:	No. Michael. Michael.
Michael Scott:	Open your mouth. Come on. Don't swallow it.
Jim Halpert:	[everyone shouting at once] Michael! Michael!
Michael Scott:	Leave me al--
Andy Bernard:	You're choking him!
Michael Scott:	Saving him!

Phyllis:	Angela, you're going to move this for the party right? It's not on theme.
Angela:	It's the nativity scene.
Phyllis:	Alright. You can keep your camel, the sheep, elephant and the North African king can stay. Everything else goes into the drawer.
	[cut to talking head]
Angela:	I am not going to judge Phyllis for desecrating Christmas. There is one person who will though, and Phyllis just stuffed him into a drawer.

Kelly:	[opening Angela's poster] Yikes.
Toby:	Well, it's for Angela, so...
Kelly:	That's like the creepiest thing that I've ever seen.
Michael Scott:	Angela, you're up.
Angela:	I'll take the poster. Some people like these.

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Angela Quotes From The Office

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