[Screaming at Ryan] That little girl is a child! I don't want see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon, do you understand? Boy, have you lost your mind, cause I'll help you find it, whatcha looking for, ain't nobody gonna help you out there, Jesus could come through that door, he's not going to help you, if you don't stop sniffing after my child!
[cut to Ryan]
Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most freighting experiences of my life.
I am actually looking forward to Take Your Daughter to Work day. I am not great with kids, but I want to get better. Because I'm getting married. So I put out a bunch of extra candy on my desk so the kids will come talk to me. Like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.
I don't get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids. I joke around with 'em, you give 'em pizza, you give 'em candy. You let 'em live their lives. They're adults for God sake.
The Schrutes consider children very valuable. In the olden days, the women would bear many children. So we would have enough laborers to work the fields. And if it was an especially cold winter, and there weren't enough grains for vegetables. They would get the weakest of the brood. [laughs] No, they didn't eat the children... It never came to that.
Listen, I like kids. But this is not a kid's environment, this is like HBO. No limits. Who knows what I'm going to say? Crazy stuff. And it is R-rated. It is not rated G. I am like Eddie Murphy in Raw, and they are trying to make me into Eddie Murphy in Daddy Day Care. Both great movies, but still.
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