Well this is what happened. Uh, Ryan's big project was the website. Which wasn't doing so well. So Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice. Once as offices and once in the website sales, which is what we refer to in the business as misleading the shareholders. Another good term is fraud. The real crime, I think, was the beard.
What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. 'What do I do?' What do I do, I do here. I should have written it down. 'Qua' something. Quaaa. Quarr. Quab. Quall. Qwer. Quobbity! Quobbity assurance!
Holly is sweet, and simple. Like a lady baker. I- would not be surprised to find out that she had worked in a bakery before coming here. She has that kind of warmth. [thinking] I'm pretty sure she's baked on a professional level.
Every year my sweet, sweet grandmother sends me a check on my birthday for fifty dollars. And lately she has been sending me like nine or 10 checks a year, uh, as Nana starts to... but I knew I should be saving it for something, I just didn't know what I should be saving it for. And then I had an awakening. Michael, buy a motorcycle. I put the money in my shoe, and then I forgot about it until now.
Thanks to Toby I have a very strong prejudice against Human Resources. I believe that the department is a breeding ground for monsters. What I failed to consider though, is that not all monsters are bad. Like ET. Is Holly our extra-terrestrial? Maybe. Or maybe she's just an awesome woman from this planet.
Today is Toby Flenderson's last day. I couldn't sleep last night. [cuts to clips of Michael dancing around the empty office] I came in extra early, so much energy. There's certain days that you know you will remember for the rest of your life. And I just have a feeling that today is one of those days.
I wouldn't go if things weren't so solid with Jim. And down the road, we have a family I couldn't go then either. So the timing's perfect. [pause] And that is the first time I've ever used the word perfect in here.
Hey, Ryan, it's Jim. Look man I don't know what happening to you lately but you know what? I really don't care because you're trying to get rid of me and I bet you think I don't care enough about this job to actually fight back but you're wrong because I do and I will. So you can keep trying to push me out of this place but guess what. I'm not going anywhere.
Dwight, I want you to look at Holly right now. Everybody I want you to look at Holly right now. And maybe if you look at her deeply enough you will see what I see in her. And that is that we are all very lucky to have her here. Holly is the best thing that has happened to this company since World War II! Fifty years. She is the best!
Woah. What are you doing? You don't, uh... you don't have to do that. I mean we have already put together chairs. That's how we buy them actually.
I was trying to adjust the lumbar support on Toby's chair and that made this up-down lever not work and I took the whole chair apart and that is the story of me on the floor. It's pretty good right? I'm gonna sell the movie rights.
Hi, Jan. It's Michael. I just, um, I just want to let you know that I am going to go to your Lamaze class tomorrow. And if there's any details you need to fill me in on like, what exactly Lamaze is, that would be great. And I will see you tomorrow morning. I'm going to be... kind of a daddy.
It's not just any sperm bank I mean it's really-- this is a really, really great place. It's amazing actually. I'm gonna bring you the catalog. You should look through it, it's-- and in fact it's right next to that little breakfast place that you like in the city where you can draw on the tables.
I've been carrying that ring around in my wallet for six years. Because you never know when you're going to meet the right girl and the moment's gonna be right. And tonight, with the fireworks and the music and everything. It was right.
You always do this! We have a nice, modest party planned and then you come in and you demand the world. Let me be clear, there is simply no money for anything other than a cake and to develop a few more slides. Although Toby will not be in them.
Hmm. Well how much money do you have there? [counting money in Kevin's hand] Okay, let's see... 50... Oh, this is a button. Okay. 55, 65, okay, you have 75 cents. So, that means you could get anything up in the top row.
I cannot wait to visit Ryan in prison. I'm gonna wear my hottest track suit, and get my hair done, and then be like, "Hi Ryan." And then all the other prisoners are gonna be like, "Damn! Ryan, you got a hot ex-girlfriend. Ooh, I would never have treated her so bad when I was outside of prison."
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