Toby Quotes From The Office

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Toby: I'm not processing this.
Michael Scott: Look, Jim... needed a relaxing lunch. He has been depressed, and it has been affecting his productivity. How is that not work related?
Toby: He seems fine to me.
Michael Scott: You're not his friend, you don't know. He is in love with a girl he works with who's engaged, so cut me some slack, please.
Kelly: Pam?!
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Toby: You're into trains?
Dwight Schrute: Have been my whole life. I'm rebuilding a turn-of-the-century steam engine in my slaughter house.
Toby: That's so cool! Wow I'd love to take a look at that.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah it's just a run of the mill slaughter house but sure, anytime.
Toby: Well, you know, because of the trains.
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Toby: Can I talk to you in your office? It'll just take two seconds.
Michael Scott: Literally two seconds?
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Toby: Technically, I am in Human Resouces, and Dwight was asking about human anotomy... I'm just sad the public school system failed him so badly.
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[Michael sits in the conference with Gabe and Toby]
Gabe: Legal says, the best way to protect us from a lawsuit is to call this a stress induced outburst. You will have to undergo six sessions of counselling.
Michael Scott: That's it? Really? That's nothing. Alright! It's highway robbery.
Gabe: Well, that's the spirit!
Michael Scott: I can do that.
Gabe: And uh, you will do your counselling right here because our HR staff are all certified counsellors.
Michael Scott: Ok. Wait what?
Toby: Yeah, I'm really looking forward to working with you Michael.
Michael Scott: [to Gabe] Is there another option.
Gabe: [confused] The alternative is termination.
[Michael doesn't answer]
Gabe: Michael?
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Toby: Write your own damn novel.
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