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Michael Scott: What happened to you people? "We are just office drones. We are office drones. All we do is work. Is work."
[cut to talking head]
Pam Beesly: If you don't take out his battery he just keeps going all day.
[back to the office]
Pam Beesly: Oh no your battery fell out!
[dying] I... was just learning to love...
Michael Scott: You all took a life here today. You did. The life of the party.
Jim Halpert: There are other reasons to go to Ohio--
Pam Beesly: We're getting married today!
Jim Halpert: So it turns out it's the closest place to get a marriage license without a three day waiting period.
Pam Beesly: Tell 'em how it happened.
Jim Halpert: Ok so we're going through all the wedding plans and boy, it is complicated--
Pam Beesly: And very expensive.
Jim Halpert: Very expensive! 'Cause you say you want a small wedding and that's great, but then you have to invite--
Pam Beesly: You can't leave anyone out.
Jim Halpert: No one!
Pam Beesly: Ok just get to the good part.
Jim Halpert: Right. Oh! So this morning, we are having breakfast together... and I just looked up from my cereal and I said, "you know what I wanna do today? I wanna marry you."
Pam Beesly: I had just woken up. I didn't look cute. That's how I knew he meant it.
Dwight Schrute: If my assessment is correct, you grind your teeth?
Phyllis: I do!
[cut to talking head]
Dwight Schrute: No kidding. She sits three feet from me. It's the most annoying thing. It's like children singing Christmas carols.
Dwight Schrute: This remedy has been passed down in my family for generations and it always works. My grandfather was told that Diamond Dancer would never race again. They were wrong. He came in ninth in the apple creek derby. And his jerky came in third the following year. A majestic beast. So fast. So tender.
[hands Michael a tiny disco ball] This used to hang from my windshield. But it belongs in here.
Michael Scott: Hey thank you Creed. You really get this place!
Creed: No problem. I'll just have no idea who's driving behind me now.
[to camera] I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure I'm in a dance-off!
Dwight Schrute: Hey, hey hey hey. I got your text, who's Phillip?
Michael Scott: No no no.
[to Phyllis] Who tipped you over? Was it Phillip?
Michael Scott: Cafe Disco is dead but I still hear the music in my head.
[walking by] I do too, boss.
Erin: Oh my God! I can't believe it! I just won an art contest!
[Dwight walks over to reception and hands Erin a bill]
Erin: Thanks. I still don't understand why you wanted me to say that.
Dwight Schrute: Shut up.
[cut to talking head]
[laughing hysterically] I got her.
[back to the office with Dwight walking back to his desk, laughing]
Pam Beesly: Not cool Dwight.
Jim Halpert: Not cool man.
[continues to laugh hysterically]
Michael Scott: You wanna come down here? Door's always open! Lock's broken.
Dwight Schrute: Back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries but more common than wrist injuries.
Michael Scott: I don't need a history lesson ok?
Dwight Schrute: What do you think history is?
Dwight Schrute: This is oil, from the gland of an otter. Keeps their fur water resistant, as well as traps heat. Now I need you to lie still for an hour.
Phyllis: An hour? I can't stay here an hour.
[starts to get up]
Dwight Schrute: Oh whoa whoa girl. Whoaaa. Whhhhoa.
Michael Scott: Daddy's here and Daddy is going to take care of you.
Oscar: Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy.
Michael Scott: I am your big daddy and I am gonna kiss de booboo.
Andy: Andy is afwaid.
Michael Scott: Andy afwaid?
Michael Scott: Are you all afwaid?
Dwight Schrute: No.
Michael Scott: Daddy here for youu. My wittle angels.
Michael Scott: Now I know what the founders of Phillip Morris felt like. You just wanna give people a smooth, fun way to relax, and suddenly you're just some terrible monster.
Oscar: Is this our punishment for not wanting to have lunch with you?
Michael Scott: Why don't you get over lunch Oscar, everyone else is past it.
[imitating Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining'] All work and no play makes Michael a dull boy.
Meredith: This is like a haunted coffee house thing?
Michael Scott: No, Dwight is confusing you. Its more of a disco.
Andy: It's like a haunted disco.
Michael Scott: With coffee, but without the haunting.
Phyllis: It's a combo dance house coffee bar.
Michael Scott: It is a daytime disco on the ground floor of an industrial office building
Erin: It's a cafe disco.
Kevin: Like a disco cafe?
Michael Scott: Wha ... no. No. Not even close.
Angela: Look, I hate to be "that person" but I just don't like the general spirit of music.
Michael Scott: I know, I know! Angela, a lot of people doubted Cafe Disco at first but it is a magical place you have to give it a chance. If these walls could talk they would say, "this is a magical place. You are safe here. We have talking walls. We're not going to eat you."
Michael Scott: Hey hey, Angela, no! No cleaning up.
Angela: You are forcing to be down here, am I not allowed to have fun?
Michael Scott: I still have the lease on the Michael Scott Paper Company so occasionally I will sneak down here for a little coffee and dancing. I actually dance all the time. Top-toeing around Corporate is a ballet. When I am breakin' all the rules, I'm break dancing. And...
[holding up cup] Espresso.
[walking into the office holding an espresso cup] Guys I'm scared. I'm really scared. I think I'm growing into a giant because look at this normal-sized coffee cup. Looks so tiny in my giant hand now.
Dwight Schrute: Attention office. Who here is planning a trip to Youngstown, Ohio? I will take your silence to mean that you are all hiding something.
Dwight Schrute: There's only a handful of reasons why someone would ever go to a courthouse in Ohio, and not be charged with a crime. To claim an inheritance from a deceased relative, to obtain a learners permit at age fourteen and a half instead of fifteen-- Erin. Let me see your birth certificate.
Michael Scott: I can't force you to go down but I can entice you. I am going to be down there. Erin will be down there from time to time. And, all you can eat espresso.
[starting his lunch] I guess they got what they want. I am eating alone. Might as well be dinner.
Michael Scott: Hey you want some Espresso?
Erin: Oh yeah.
Michael Scott: Gotta keep yourself dehydrated.
Erin: That's rule number one!
Michael Scott: We need to get her out of there because no one is going to want to go in there with a woman riding around on the floor. Wait wait wait! But most importantly, we need to get her some medical attention asap, stat.
Ryan: Now that I'm back to doing the job of a temp again, I find that food is one thing I CAN control.
Andy: This dance competition is not over!
Kelly: What dance competition? I was just dancing casually with my friends, ya'll!