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Jim Halpert: To tell you the truth, I used to have a big thing for pam. So..
Michael Scott: Really. You're kidding me. You and Pam? Wow. I would have never put you two together.. did you really.. you really hid it well. God. I usually have a radar for stuff like that.
[sighs] You know I made out with Jan.
Jim Halpert: Yeah. I know.
Michael Scott: Yeah. Yeah. Well, Pam is cute.
Jim Halpert: Yeah... she's really funny. She's warm... and she's just... yeah.
Michael Scott: Well, if you like her so much, don't give up.
Jim Halpert: She's engaged.
Michael Scott: Pift. BFD. Engaged aint married.
Jim Halpert: Huh.
Michael Scott: Never, ever, ever give up.
Dwight Schrute: Don't worry Michael, I'm taking us to shore!
Michael Scott: It's a fake wheel, dummy!
Michael Scott: Who's seen Titanic?
Jim Halpert: I'm not really sure what movie you''re talking about. Are you sure you've got the title right?
Pam Beesly: I think you're thinking of 'The Hunt for Red October.'
Dwight Schrute: Okay fine... where's my wallet?
Jim Halpert: Oh there it is, 'J1'.
Dwight Schrute: I don't have any...
Jim Halpert: Here, have some nickels.
[putting nickels into vending machine] 5, 10, 15, 20, 25--
Angela: Hey, come inside and talk to me.
Dwight Schrute: I can't! Do you want us to run aground woman!?
Jim Halpert: What happened to you?
Michael Scott: Captain jack has a problem with authority.
Jim Halpert: Oh, right, 'cause you announced that his ship was sinking.
Michael Scott: He just totally lost it. If you ask me he caused the panic.
Michael Scott: What is with the guy jumping overboard? If he had just waited and heard what I had to say, he would be motivated right now, and not all wet.
Captain Jack: That's right, partyers! It's time to limbo, limbo, limbo! Alright, I need a volunteer to come up here and hold my stick. Huh? Who's it gonna be?
Dwight Schrute: Me me me!
Captain Jack: Uh, usually it's a woman.
Dwight Schrute: I'm stronger.
[from deleted scenes]
Creed: Back in the '60s, I was with the Grassroots. We toured with Janis Joplin, The Doors, Cream. We had a lot of fun. And now I do quality assurance for a paper company. As you can imagine drugs played a part... They still do... I, uh... My work calls last about 90 seconds and that's about as long as I can concentrate.
Katy: Do you think that will ever be us?
Jim Halpert: No.
Katy: What is wrong with you, why did you even bring me here tonight?
Jim Halpert: I donno. Let's break up.
Dwight Schrute: Seasick? Captain Jack says to watch the moon.
Michael Scott: Captain Jack's a fart face.
Katy: Were you a cheerleader in high school?
Roy: No, she was totally little miss artsy fartsy in high school. She wore the turtle neck and everything.
Katy: That's hilarious.
Jim Halpert: It's not hilarious.. but.
Pam Beesly: What do I want, what do I want... Oh! A pencil cup.
Dwight Schrute: Oh no no no no. That's my pencil cup.
Pam Beesly: I don't think so, I just bought it.
Dwight Schrute: Uh, I think so, and you're gonna hand it over to me.
Jim Halpert: What a night...
Michael Scott: Yeah, well. Good for you, your friend got engaged.
Jim Halpert: She was already engaged.
Michael Scott: Roy said the first one didn't count.
Jim Halpert: That's... great.
Michael Scott: Leader. Ship. The word 'ship' is hidden in side the word 'leadership,' as its... derivation.
Oscar: Last year Michael's theme was 'bowl over the competition.' So guess where we went.
Michael Scott: I see the sales dept as the furnace
Phyllis: The furnace?
Jim Halpert: How old is the ship?
Michael Scott: Now on this ship, that is the office, what is the sales department? Anyone?
Darryl: How about, the sales department is the sails.
Michael Scott: Yes, Darryl. The sales department makes sales. Good.
Dwight Schrute: Well I''m not paying for my own stuff, okay? I know you did this because you're friends with the vending machine guy.
Jim Halpert: Who, Steve?
Dwight Schrute: Yeah Steve, whatever his name is.
Jim Halpert: He can have us rob a bank, and escape through the sewers.
Pam Beesly: And brush our teeth!
Phyllis: Michael, everyone in the engine room drowned.
Michael Scott: Thank you, Spoiler Alert!
[from deleted scenes]
Dwight Schrute: On the high seas Captain Jack's the leader, on the land it's Michael. On the ramp up to the boat, I was a little conflicted.
[from deleted scenes]
Michael Scott: You know what Brenda, could we have a moment alone?
Brenda: Jan said if you asked me that I was supposed to say no.
Pam Beesly: What do I want, what do I want? Ooh. Pencil cup.
Dwight Schrute: Captain jack delegates. He let me steer the ship for an hour.
Pam Beesly: It's getting kind of rowdy down there.
Jim Halpert: Yeah, 'Darryl! Darryl! Darryl!'
Pam Beesly: Sometimes I just don't get Roy... I mean I donno... so... what's it like dating a cheerleader?
Jim Halpert: Well... um.
Michael Scott: I'm on medication.
Girl from Corporate: Really? What?
Michael Scott: Vomicillan.
Dwight Schrute: I was the youngest pilot in Pan Am history. When I was four, the pilot let me ride in the cockpit and fly the plane with him. And I was four, and I was great and I would have landed it, but my dad wanted us to go back to our seats.
Michael Scott: Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that's always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing.
Ryan: Do I have to go? I have a big test tomorrow.
Michael Scott: Yes, you have to go. It's mandatory. But don't worry you're going to learn plenty. This is going to turn your life around, Ryan.
Ryan: I''m already in business school.
Michael Scott: It's a booze cruise!
Michael Scott: In an office when you are ranking people manager outranks captain. On a boat, who knows? It's nebulose.
[singing] What do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning?
Jim Halpert: Michael stands in the front of the boat and says that he's king of the world within the first hour, or I give you my next paycheck.
Michael Scott: You know I made out with Jan?
Jim Halpert: Yeah.
Michael Scott: Yep.
Katy: You guys, it's like we're at highschool and we're at the cool table.
Roy: Where'd you go to school?
Katy: Bishop O'Hara.
Roy: Piss slop who cares-a? We played you. You, you really look familiar. Did you, uh, you cheered for them, didn't you?
Jim: Mmm, no.
Katy: Yes, I did. A-W-E (claps) S-O-M-E, awesome, awesome is what we are we're the football superstars.
Michael Scott: We''re not going to pay for a bathing suit.
Michael Scott: If the boat's a-rockin', don't come knockin'!