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The Office Season 2 - Sexual Harassment

  • Quotes
  • Conference Room (4 Comments)
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
38
votes
Jim Halpert: Does that include 'that's what she said'?
Michael Scott: Mmhh, yes.
Jim Halpert: Wow that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling.
Michael Scott: Mmmm... THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
30
votes
Michael Scott: Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
15
votes
Michael Scott: When I said before that I was king of forwards, you gotta understand that I don't come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest a guy who's just delivering drugs from one guy to another.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
14
votes
Michael Scott: Families grow, and at some point the daddy can't take a bath with the kids anymore. I'm upper management, and it'd be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam- as much as I might want to.
Pam Beesly: He said what!?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
12
votes
Todd Packer: What has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom? [points thumbs to himself] This guy!
[later]
Jim Halpert: What has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? [points thumbs to himself] This guy!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
12
votes
Michael Scott: We're like Friends. I am Chandler, and Joey, and uh, Pam is Rachel, and Dwight is... Kramer.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
11
votes
[license plate says 'WLHUNG']
Ryan Howard: Are you a big William Hung fan?
Todd Packer: Why does everybody ask me that? Who the hell is that!?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
11
votes
Toby: Technically, I am in Human Resouces, and Dwight was asking about human anotomy... I'm just sad the public school system failed him so badly.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
9
votes
Michael Scott: A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night, and he gets crabs. So the next day he goes back to complain and the woman says, 'Hey, it was only $5, what did you expect... lobster?'
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
9
votes
Michael Scott: Stanley, how about that hot picture you have by your desk? Centerfold in the Catholic schoolgirls' outfit? I mean it is hot, it is sexy and it turns him on and I will admit- best part of my morning is staring at it. But what are we just going to take it away?
Stanley: That is my daughter, she goes to Catholic girls school. I'm taking it down right now.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
8
votes
Toby: Can I talk to you in your office? It'll just take two seconds.
Michael Scott: Literally two seconds?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
8
votes
Michael Scott: Todd Packer and I are total B.F.F.: Best Friends Forever. He and I came up together as salesmen. One time we were out and we met this set of twins and Packer told them that we were brothers. And so, you know, one thing led to another; we brought them back to the hotel and then Packer did both of them. It was awesome!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
8
votes
Michael Scott: Man, that Todd Packer can do anything.
Jim Halpert: [under his breath] ...except pass that breathalyzer.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
7
votes
Michael Scott: I'm not afraid of corporate. But you know what I am afraid of? Gettin' a boner.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
7
votes
Todd Packer: Where's Michael Snot? Sniffing some dude's thong? Probably.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
5
votes
Todd Packer: So a guy goes home and tells his wife, 'Honey, pack your bags! I just won the lottery!' She goes, 'Oh my God. That's incredible! Where we going?' He says, 'I don't know where you're going, just be outta here by 5!'
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
4
votes
Toby: In fact as a basic rule of thumb, let's just act like everyday Pam's mom is coming over.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
2
votes
Michael Scott: For example, I have never slept with an employee, and believe me I could have.
Dwight Schrute: Heh yeah, Meridith.
Michael Scott: No, no, Katherine, remember her? Remember how hot she was? She would have definitely slept with me.
Kevin: She wasn't that hot.
Michael Scott: Yes she was. Damn it Kevin! Come on.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
1
vote
Michael Scott: I am king of forwards. It's how I like to do business, everybody joking around.
1
vote

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