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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 2 - Performance Review

The Office Season 2 Quotes - Performance Review

  • Quotes
  • Conference Room (5 Comments)
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50
likes
Jim Halpert: Today is Thursday, and Dwight thinks it's Friday, and that's what I'll be working on this afternoon.
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35
likes
Jim Halpert: Well, I'm not asking for a raise, I'm actually asking for a pay decrease.
Dwight Schrute: Uh, that is so stupid. What if he gives it to you?
Jim Halpert: Then I win.
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22
likes
Michael Scott: Did you learn that on the streets? Oh, I'm sorry...
Stanley: No it's okay, I did learn it on the streets, on the ghetto, in fact.
Michael Scott: No kidding...
[later, to the camera]
Stanley: It's all about my bonus.
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22
likes
Pam Beesly: Did you watch The Apprentice last night?
Jim Halpert: Yeah, I can't believe who they kicked out!
Dwight Schrute: Damn it! I missed it! I was out drinking with my laser tag team, I can't believe I did that! I never go out on Thursday nights. [looks down shaking his head]
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20
likes
Pam Beesly: Well, last year my performance started with Michael asking me what my hopes and dreams were, and ended with him telling me he could bench press 190 pounds. So I'm not really sure what to expect.
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17
likes
Michael Scott: Pam, you're trustworthy.
Pam Beesly: Thank you.
Michael Scott: And a woman.
Pam Beesly: Oh no.
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16
likes
[listening to rock music in stairwell]
Dwight Schrute: You are giving me this raise, I deserve this raise. Yes! Yes! Yes! AHH! The least you could do is keep my salary consistent with inflation, WAKAH! Yes! Why are you gonna give me this raise? Why? Because... I'm awesome! I am AWESOOOME!
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15
likes
Jan: Michael, it has nothing to with your looks, okay? It's your it's your personality. I mean you're obnoxious, and rude, and, and, and stupid. And you do have coffee breath, by the way. And, and, I don't agree about the B.O., but you are very, very inconsiderate.
Michael Scott: So, my looks don't have anything to do with it?
Jan: [sighs] Oh God.
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14
likes
Dwight Schrute: 'Don't sleep with your boss.' Do you think this is about you boning Jan?
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14
likes
Pam Beesly: Do you think Michael and Jan actually,--
Jim Halpert: I don't really want to picture it. But thank you, Pam.
Pam Beesly: How do you come back from that?
Jim Halpert: Um, you don't. I don't think, come all the way back. You know, especially working together.
Pam Beesly: No, I mean doing that with Michael. How do you come back from THAT? As a human being.
Jim Halpert: Oh, yeah, no, I don't think you can.
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13
likes
Michael Scott: Never missed a day, my ass.
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11
likes
Dwight Schrute: Lex Luther said it best when he said, 'Dad, you have no idea what I'm capable of.'
Michael Scott: Is that from Superman?
Dwight Schrute: Smallville. And that's why I should get a raise.
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11
likes
Michael Scott: [about performance reviews] No, no, no. I finished all of that. I'm very fast. Well, I'm not too fast. Not like wham bam thank you ma'am. But, I do say 'thank you ma'am.' But, um... not like wham bam... not that there's anything wrong with wham bam... if it's consensual. We're talking about office... stuff.
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10
likes
Dwight Schrute: I'm sorry am I interrupting? Oh God were you guys making out?
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10
likes
Michael Scott: If by 'me' you are inferring that I have B.O. then I would say, 'That is a poor choice of words.'
Creed: He wasnt inferring, he was implying. You were inferring.
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10
likes
Michael Scott: Angela, your turn.
Pam Beasley: Michael, Jan's on the phone.
Michael Scott: Oh! Angela, you were perfectly satisfactory this year. [slams the door in her face]
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9
likes
Michael Scott: When people say something is mutual, it never is. But this was mutual.
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9
likes
Pam Beesly: [about Jan's message to Michael] I have one idea of what it means.
Michael Scott: Okay, yeah, what, what?
Pam Beesly: Well, I don't think you're going to be very happy with this.
Michael Scott: Oh, great. Alright, well, now I'm in a terrible mood. Let's do your performance review.
Pam Beesly: [quickly] Because she's conflicted. She has to be professional but she's fighting feelings for you.
Michael Scott: Why.. that's great news. That-- that-- Why would-- why would I not like that?
Pam Beesly: Um, just cuz that you work together and it might be awkward.
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8
likes
Michael Scott: I'm a little confused, because first it's all kissy kissy, then it's all like regret, 'cause oh I regret that. But wait I'm still going to call you... but but wait we're only going to talk about business... but wait I can fire you if I don''t like what you''re doing... but wait what were we talking about at the restaurant? Business.
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8
likes
Dwight Schrute: I went out and got drunk with my laser tag team last night. Crap! I never go out on a thursday night, what was I thinking!?
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8
likes
Angela: I actually look forward to performance reviews. I did the youth beauty pageant circuit, and I enjoyed that quite a bit. I really enjoy being judged. I believe I hold up to even severe scrutiny.
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8
likes
Dwight Schrute: Ah, you know what, I am just going to zone you out for the rest of today. Okay, I need to stay focused. And I don't have to see you tomorrow, or Sunday, please don't call me, and we'll see how things go no Monday.
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7
likes
Pam Beesly: Michael and Jan definitely made out--
Jim Halpert: Ohhhhhhhh.
Pam Beesly: Maybe more...
Jim Halpert: Ahhhhh.
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6
likes
Dwight Schrute: [running into the office while dressing] Everything's okay! I'm here!
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5
likes
Michael Scott: [to Jan on speaker phone] To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?
Jan: I'm returning your many phone calls.
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5
likes
Michael Scott: I just want to know, from the horse's mouth, what is the dealio. Am I too short?
Jan: You know, Michael-- Michael it has nothing to do with your looks, ok? It's your personality. I mean, you're obnoxious, and rude, and stupid, and you do have coffee breath, by the way. And-- and I don't agree about the B.O. but you are very, very inconsiderate.
Michael Scott: Really?
Jan: Really. You're-- you're a great guy okay and--
Michael Scott: I appreciate that, thank you.
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4
likes
Michael Scott: [to Dwight] Okay third-wheel why don't you do that.
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4
likes
Dwight Schrute: [singing and dancing] You are getting this raise! I deserve this raise! Yes! Yeah! Why are you going to give me this raise? Why! BECAUSE I AM AWESOME! I AM AWESOME!
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4
likes
Michael Scott: Jan is not in a place where she feels she can have a relationship right now, and it doesn't matter how great a guy I am. And that is all I needed. I'm good. I can go home now.
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2
likes
Dwight Schrute: Let me bring up one word. Dedication. I have never been late. Also, I have never missed a day due to illness, even when I had walking pneumonia. I even come in on holidays.
Michael Scott: You do? How do you get in?
Dwight Schrute: I have a copy of your key.
Jan: That's a serious offense.
Michael Scott: That is a very serious offense. Very serious. As is toying with a man's heart.
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1
like
Michael Scott: Hey it's 12:20. Where the hell's Dwight?
Jim Halpert: Ummm... no idea.
Michael Scott: "Never missed a day", my ass.
5 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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