The Office Season 3 Quotes - Beach Games
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| Pam Beesly: | Hey! I wanna say something. I've been trying to be more honest lately, and I just wanna say a few things. I did the coal walk! Just, I did it. Michael, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss. Wow I feel really good right now. [pause] Why didn't any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked. It's like sometimes some of you act like I don't even exist. Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we're not even friends. And things are just like weird between us. And that sucks. And I miss you. You were my best friend before you went to Stamford. And I really miss you. I shouldn't have been with Roy, and there were a lot of reasons to call of my wedding. But the truth is, I didn't care about any of those reasons until I met you. And now you're with someone else. And that's fine. It's, whatever, it's not what I'm- I'm not- Okay my feet really hurt. The thing that I'm just trying to say to you Jim, and to everyone else in the circle, I guess, is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone in the circle. Okay. I am gonna go walk in the water now. Yep. It's a good day. [she runs away] |
| Michael Scott: | Pam! That was amazing! ...But I am still looking for someone with a sales background. |
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| Michael Scott: | Who's ahead in points? |
| Pam Beesly: | I think they're even. At various times you gave Jim, 10 points, Dwight, a gold star and Stanley, a thumbs-up. And I don't really know how to compare those units. |
| Michael Scott: | Well check to see if there's a conversion chart in that notebook. |
| Pam Beesly: | I really doubt it Michael. |
| Michael Scott: | Please just check. |
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| Michael Scott: | If you don't like it Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus. |
| Stanley: | Excuse me? |
| Michael Scott: | Or the front of the bus, or drive the bus. |
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| [naming teams] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Okay. We will be Voldemort. |
| Dwight Schrute: | He-who-must-not-be-named? I wouldn't do that. |
| Jim Halpert: | [chanting with team] Vol-de-mort! Vol-de-mort! Vol-de-mort! Vol-de-mort-- |
| Dwight Schrute: | Ok, seriously. You really shouldn't be saying that. Please, please, please. |
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| Michael Scott: | Jim Halpert. Pros. Smart, cool, good looking. Remind you of anyone you know? Cons. Not a hard worker. I can spend all day on a project and he can finish the same project in a half an hour. So that should tell you something. |
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| Pam Beesly: | About forty times a year, Michael gets really sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned. |
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| Michael Scott: | Dwight is an obvious candidate for my job. He has the best sales record in the office, loves the work, he is however, an idiot. |
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| Michael Scott: | Andy Bernard. Pros. He's classy, he gets me, he went to Cornell, I trust him. Cons. I don't really trust him. |
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| Stanley: | I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head than work for anyone else in this office besides myself. |
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| Michael Scott: | To what do I owe this great honor David Wallace? |
| David Wallace: | Michael, I am calling to-- |
| Michael Scott: | ...and Gromit. |
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| Karen: | Hi David, I would like to apply for the corporate job in well. |
| Jim Halpert: | In well? How would that work? |
| [Karen smacks Jim] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Wait... if this job is in a well, I don't want it. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Yes! 'Funtivities.' I knew it wasn't just a trip to the beach. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay, you know what? Your enthusiasm is turning people off. |
| Dwight Schrute: | I hope there will be management parables. |
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| Meredith: | I'm excited. Today is Beach Day. Michael is taking the whole office to the beach, so I'm wearing my bathing suit underneath my shirt [lifts up top exposing her breasts] Oh. Ya. I packed it in my purse. |
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| Toby: | Anybody need sunblock? I've got SPF 30. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh. You know what? You're not going. |
| Toby: | It's Beach Day. |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Toby. We, um, somebody has to say here. |
| [cut to interview] | |
| Michael Scott: | I want today to be a beautiful memory, that the staff and I share after I have passed on, to New York. And if Toby's apart of it, then it'll suck. |
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| Michael Scott: | What happens to a company if you take the boss away. I will answer your question with a question. It's like what happens to a chicken, when you take its head away. It dies. Unless you find a new head. I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be, a chicken head. |
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| Kelly: | Who's Bob Hope? |
| Michael Scott: | God! He's a- he's a comedian. |
| Kelly: | Oh like Amanda Bynes. |
| Michael Scott: | Who's Amanda Bynes? |
| Kelly: | She's from 'What a Girl Wants'. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh! I love that movie. |
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| David Wallace: | I am calling to see if you would come down and interview for a job we have opening up in corporate. |
| Michael Scott: | Really? |
| David Wallace: | A week from today. Bring your first quarter stats and your recommendation for who'd take over the Scranton branch. |
| Michael Scott: | Wow. I wish I had prepared something to say-- |
| David Wallace: | That's not necessary-- |
| Michael Scott: | May God guide you in your quest. |
| David Wallace: | Yes.. |
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| Michael Scott: | I want today to be a beautiful memory that the staff and I share after I have passed on to New York, and if Toby's a part of it, then it'll suck. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Sabotage. |
| Angela: | What? What are you saying? Did you say sandwich? |
| Dwight Schrute: | No. I was saying that before. Not now. Now I am saying, 'sabotage.' The ancient Ductch art of screwing up your own team. |
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| Oscar: | If either of these guys are put in charge of the office I will transfer to Albany, Gill can come if he wants. I'm kind of looking for a way out of that relationship anyway. I think I might try girls for a while. Angela thinks I can cross over. We'll see. |
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| Toby: | Pam, want my sunscreen? |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh, great. I forgot mine and I'm wearing a two-piece. |
| [Toby sighs] |
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| Michael Scott: | You know what? If I had to pick my replacement, based on today, it would be Mr. Outside Hire. |
| Angela: | Or Mrs. Outside Hire. |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah. Mmhmm. True. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | The Aristocrats. A man and his wife and children go into the offices of a talent agency. [...] And the talent agent says, 'describe your act.' And the man says something, really, really raunchy. And the town representative says, 'what do you call yourselves?' And the man says, 'The Aristocrats'. [...] I mean truly repulsive acts. |
| Michael Scott: | That is a very, very funny story. |
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