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Am I being mean to Dwight? I dunno. I did just make him run around the building and I have no intention in timing him. This isn't even a stopwatch. It's a digital thermometer. He does make my life harder sometimes. And on purpose. Like he tried to put meters on the bathroom stalls as a way of bringing in more money for the company. [To Dwight] Hey. Three more laps to go! You gotta pick it up if you're going to beat Toby!
I'll be the number two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring and never breaking off a handshake. I'm always thinking one step ahead. Like a... carpenter... that makes stairs.
The Japanese campguards of World War II always chose one man to kill whenever a batch of new prisoners arrived. I always wondered how they chose the man who was to die. I think I would have been good at choosing the person.
Why? I will tell you why, because they saved the worst for me. They put a hate note under my windshield wiper. Check this out. It's so hateful. 'You guys suck! You can never pull together as well as one and revenge us. That is why you suck!'
See that. Mission accomplished. Like a bunch of fourth graders. Sometimes what brings the kids together is hating the lunchlady. Although that'll change, because by the end of the fourth grade the lunchlady was actually the person I hung out with the most.
The word merger came from the word marriage and that's what today was supposed to be. The loving union between people. Instead, it is become like when my mom moved in with Jeff. And once again it becomes my job to fix it.
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