[loudly] So anyways she said that is the biggest penis I have ever scene [Danny looks shocked] and I said I know! That's why I brought you to the penis museum, where tickets are a "thousand" dollars. Oh hello Danny.
Let me handle this Jim. [aggressively] Drop the act, Cordrea. Ok? [Pam walks in behind Dwight] We all know, that you probably thought, that Pam was too, "Meh." Or "too thin without being toned." But I wanna tell you something. She is one of the plain, hearty women of Scranton that make this city great. And so what if she doesn't wear makeup! [Pam mouths "I wear makeup..."] We like her better that way! And you steal clients, don't you. Don't you! [gets in Danny's face]
Ohh that's different. Is it? Ok. Thief! Better check your things people--In fact where are my keys? [checks pocket] Oh. They're in my pocket. False alarm.
You know what? You clearly don't care so why don't you just leave?
I would like to stay, this pertains to me.
Why don't you go outside an.. take a shot of insulin and have a nap ok?
Why do you always assume I have diabetes?
I donno, your frame, your build? What don't you have a glass of apple juice and tell me your not a diabetic. [Stanley gets up to leave] See! I could tell by the sound you made when you stood up, that you have.. Ok.
Can I have your attention! I would like to introduce you to Mr. Danny Cordrea. He is going to be joining us, as our new Travelling Salesman. Say hello to Danny!
Oh. Kay. You know what? No! No. This is not some sort of construction site, for all of Italy! Where you can just go around treating people like meat. We are to respect him. I respect him, because he reminds me of somebody. Can anybody guess who that is?
[dreamily] Josh Duhamel.
Yeah I can see that!
No! No. Somebody in this office.
He's like a better-looking Andy.
No, me. Right? Sorta like, a little younger version of me?
This morning Danny Cordrea stole a sale from me so what do I do? I go out and I steal Danny Cordea. The that mattered, I made. Boom. Funny thing about it, we don't even need 'em. We already have Packer on the road! Crrrrap. I forgot about Packer! [exhales]
Well get ready because your life is going to get better!
It's not going to get better he's going to steal all of our clients.
No! No, wrong. He would've stolen your clients but you know what? He can't now. This guy, used to steal sales from us, now he's going to steal sales FOR us.
Where's he going to sit I mean there's no more seats!
He doesn't need to sit he's a travelling salesman. Look, I am not going to exclude good people from our staff simply because they are threatening to you. And unless you have a better argument than that, I suggest you leave.
[everyone starts to leave] Where's he gonna park there's no more reserved parking spots.
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