The Office Season 8 Quotes - Doomsday

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Toby: You know I don't have to do paperwork unless you're actually dating.
Gabe: Ok well once this starts it's going to be moving fast it's going to be hot and heavy, and I don't want a bunch of bureaucratic red tape wrapped around my jock you know.
Toby: But I mean, have you talked to her?
Gabe: Yeah! We had a whole conversation about Mondays.
Toby: Do you know her last name, yet?
Gabe: Toby, I'm gonna tell you her last name tomorrow, because she's gonna be screaming it tonight.
Toby: She's going to be screaming her own last name?
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Robert California: Last week an accounting mistake resulted in a client getting their order for free.
Andy: Ooh. That's not good. Chalk that one up to Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb out there.
Robert California: Who're they?
Andy: They're both Kevin.
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Dwight Schrute: Last night, I dreamed that the number two was the most valued number in the world. The vice-president had all the power, athletes fought for silver medals, women were considered the best gender, and stadiums of fans shouted, "we're number two!" As with all my dreams, I'm guessing it was about my fear of immigrants.
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Gabe: Hey! I need you to get the paperwork rolling on a new workplace relationship.
Toby: For you?
Gabe: Yes! For Gabe.
Toby: Who're you seeing? That's great.
Gabe: WHOM I am seeing is Val, from down in the warehouse. I'm not technically seeing her, but uh, I've seen her, with the eyes, and there was attraction, in at least one direction. So...
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Andy: If we as a group make five mistakes in a day, something bad happens. Like we block Minesweeper.
Dwight Schrute: Or in this case an email gets sent to Robert California containing the consultant's report from last year. Remember the one that recommended the branch be shut down? [the conference room gets upset] And as a failsafe, every negative email you've ever written about him, to the group, will also be forwarded to him.
Andy: What emails are you talking about?
Dwight Schrute: [reading] "Robert's favorite songs: 'Creep' by TLC, 'Creep' by Radiohead." Remember that one Jim? [reading another] "There's no way he hasn't strangled at least one stripper." Oscar. "He eats his yogurt like he's punishing it for disappointing him." Kelly.
Andy: [to Ryan] That's not that bad actually.
Dwight Schrute: "PS: We should kill him."
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[trying to guess Dwight's password]
Stanley: Try Mose1234.
Ryan: Dwight would never be that obvious. Try something like um, zee six four, dollar sign, eight.
[the password's incorrect]
Ryan: Not that exactly Jim! Something like that.
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Gabe: The Michilen Man called. He wants his cummerbund back.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons