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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 7 - The Ultimatum

The Office Season 7 Quotes - The Ultimatum

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  • Conference Room (5 Comments)
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11
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Erin: [does a cartwheel] Look guys! I did it!
Creed: Oh f*** you f*** you f*** you!
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9
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Michael Scott I made a resolution to floss, and I did it. 12:01, January first, BAM! Blood everywhere.
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8
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Kevin: [eating broccoli] Okay, okay! I ate the fluffy part, now can I be done?!
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8
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Dwight Schrute Hey, Darryl, what did you get?
Darryl Um... a book. A book about the ocean.
Dwight Schrute Cool, what else? Let me see...
Darryl No! [jerks bag away] It's porn... pornography. Old ladies... dirty nasty porn.
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6
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Bookstore Clerk: Are you interested in our e-Readers?
Darryl: Oh, no. I'm in the paper industry and those things could put us out of business. And I hear they only store like 10 books at a time...
Bookstore Clerk: More like 10,000.
Darryl: Holy sh*t! Let me see that! ...It's light. Like a crossaint.
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6
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Holly Oh . . . everybody knows about the ultimatum?
Kelly Yes. I told everybody.
Holly [shows off her undecorated ring fingers]
Kevin [shows Holly his middle finger] Hey, right back at you, bitch! [Walks away]
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5
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Michael Scott [filming video] Michael, I know what you're thinking. Holly's engaged to another man, and you want to kill yourself. It may seem like a good idea, but it's not.
Erin [giggles] Snot. Sorry, it sounded like you said it's snot. I am so sorry.
Michael Scott Okay, so killing yourself... [laughs] I was just thinking about snot.
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4
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Michael Scott Today will either be the best or the worst day of my life. Holly gave AJ an ultimatum. He either proposes by New Year's or they break up. Now, if she's engaged, I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm gonna start attacking people. If she's not engaged, in all honesty, I may just burn this whole place to the ground out of happiness. Either way, I am going to need some talking down. And nobody talks me down like myself in a video talking me down.
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4
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Michael Scott: You're gonna somersault around for the rest of you life, and you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser.
Creed: My tombstone's already been made, thank you.
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3
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Pam Beesly Hey, guys! Fun thing. The index cards on your desk are resolution cards. You write your New Year's resolution on them, I'll collect them, and then display them on... da-da-da-da-da! This! Resolution board.
Dwight Schrute Wow, did your baby draw that?
Angela The glitter is blinding.
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3
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Pam Beesly [to camera] I recently met Sue, the office administrator at Vance Refrigeration. She has this awesome wall full of fun initiatives and morale boosters and stuff. Sue just goes for it, she's awesome.
Phyllis [to camera] I know Sue. She's not that great. And you know her husband's in a wheelchair, right?
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3
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Darryl [to camera] My resolution is to read more. And if someone else is driving me to the bookstore, I can eat my PB&J in the car. 2011 is coming up all Darryl.
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2
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Andy It's not a pity party... it's not a party at all... it's just sad...
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2
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Darryl You know what you guys should do? Go to the bookstore at lunch. There's tons of cuties and it's easy to talk to them. 'Hey, what book is that? Cool, let's hang out tonight. Sex already? Whoa.'
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2
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Kevin Malone: Well not all of us are Michael Freaking Scott!
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2
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Erin: My goal was to learn a new word every day, and I must say that it is going immensely.
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2
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Dwight Schrute: What are you gonna do now? You gonna make fun of our leader's weird voice? [mumbles] Over the line, Jim.
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1
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Darryl Philbin I've got nothing against strip clubs, but I do have something against them at noon on a Monday. The day shift at a strip club? You can't unsee that.
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1
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Michael Scott [for video to himself] January three, 2011. A day which will live in-famously. Holly Partridge Flax, otherwise known as Holly, otherwise otherwise known as a living, breathing angel, is engaged to another man. This is freaking me out. I- okay, let's switch to the happy video, okay? No, no, no, no, let's push through. We'll do this.
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1
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Erin Okay, champagne?
Michael Scott Happy.
Erin Sponge?
Michael Scott Sad. To soak up my tears.
Erin Gummy bears and gummy worms?
Michael Scott Bears sad. Worms happy, C'mon, Erin.
Erin Ukulele's happy?
Michael Scott Sad. Something to break.
Erin Chocolates?
Erin For you, a job well done.
Michael Scott Thank you! And two bottles of scotch?
Michael Scott Both sad.
Erin And did you get the tickets?
Michael Scott I did! I did, indeed. Two front row center, to Paula Poundstone, Live in Poughkeepsie. Holly's favorite. I hope she doesn't call us up on stage. That would suck. "Hey, you think you can do my job better?" I don't know. "What's your name?" Michael.
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1
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Andy: Why did we pretend like we worked here?
Dwight Schrute: Is that what we were doing?
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1
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Dwight Schrute: My resolution is: [writes on board] Meet a loose woman.
5 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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