The Office Season 3 Quotes - Gay Witch Hunt
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| Michael Scott: | You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded. |
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| Creed: | In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing. |
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| Michael Scott: | Do some research. Find out if there's a way to tell just by looking at them. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Jim told me you could by gaydar online. |
| Michael Scott: | That's rediculous. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Yeah probably. He didn't tell the truth a lot. |
| [moment of silence] | |
| Michael Scott: | Let's call him and get the website. |
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| Michael Scott: | Alright everybody in the conference room! I don't care if you are gay, or straight, or a lesbian, or overweight! Just get in here, right now! |
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| Michael Scott: | Did you know that gay used to mean 'happy?' When I was growing up, it meant 'lame.' And now, it means a man who makes love to other men. We're all homos. Homo sapiens. |
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| Jim Halpert: | I can't say whether Dunder Mifflin paper is less flammable, sir, but I can assure you that it is certainly not more flammable. |
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| Andy: | Good one. But uh, seriously. Guys, who did this? ... Seriously, guys. Who did this? ... I need to know who put my calculator in Jell-O or I'm gonna lose MY FREAKIN' MIND! |
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| Michael Scott: | Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime, and you could tell me... how you do that to another dude. |
| Oscar: | That sounds like a great, wonderful idea. Let's do that. |
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| Michael Scott: | There could be others. I need to know. I don't want to offend anybody else. |
| Dwight Schrute: | You could assume everyone is, and not say anything offensive. |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah. I'm sure everyone would appreciate me treating them like they were gay. |
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| Andy: | Big Tuna is a super ambitious guy, you know? Cut-your-throat-to-get-ahead type of guy. But, I mean, I'm not threatened by him. I went to Cornell. Ever heard of it? I graduated in four years, I never studied once, I was drunk the whole time, and I sang in the a capella group, 'Here Comes Treble'. |
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| Michael Scott: | Can you tell who's gay and who's not? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Of course. |
| Michael Scott: | What about Oscar? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Absolutely not. |
| Michael Scott: | Well, he is. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Well, he's not dressed in women's clothes, so... |
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| Karen: | Jim's nice enough. I don't- I don't know how well he's fitting in here. He's always looking at the camera like this. [imitates Jim's classic look] What is that? |
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| Michael Scott: | I watch The L Word, ok? |
| Jan: | Good! Good. |
| Michael Scott: | I watch Queer as [beep], okay? |
| Jan: | That's not what it's called. |
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| Michael Scott: | Could Oscar and Angela be having a gay affair? |
| Jan: | No.. |
| Michael Scott: | Maybe! Is that what this is about? |
| Jan: | No. |
| Michael Scott: | I don't- |
| Jan: | It's not possible. |
| Michael Scott: | Anything's possible. |
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| Josh: | End of day, we are going to have a little diversity policy freshener, because of some more problems at the Scranton branch. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Yeah, I didn't go through with the wedding. I got cold feet a few days before, and I can''t really explain it. I just had to get out of that relationship. We still had to pay for all the food, so we froze it. But I'm... I'm doing well. I have my own apartment, and I'm taking art classes... and I have lunch for the next five weeks. |
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| Oscar: | Yes, I am super cool. I am an accountant at a failing paper supply company. In Scranton. Much like, uh, Sir Ian McKellen. |
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| Michael Scott: | Nothing wrong with this stuff. At all. You know what? Gay porn, straight porn, it's allll good. |
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| Michael Scott: | No, that is the fun of this place. I call everybody faggy. Why would anyone find that offensive? |
| Toby: | Okay, I think Oscar would just like it if you used lame' or something like that. |
| Michael Scott: | That's what faggy means. |
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