The Office Season 6 Quotes - Double Date
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| Michael Scott: | As I watched Pam's big strong hand coming toward my face I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. And guess what? I have four kids. And I have a hover car and a hover house. And my wife is a runner and it shows. And Pam and Jim are my best friends and our kids play together. And... I'm happy and I'm rich and I never die. That doesn't sound like much, but it's enough for me. |
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| Andy: | You give me a gift? Bam! Thank You note. You invite me somewhere? Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor? Wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness. |
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| Michael Scott: | The only time you should care about a woman's age is if she is too young for you. And I am not robbing the cradle. If anything, I am robbing the grave... |
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| [Ryan and Kelly walk into Michael's office] | |
| Ryan: | Hey, quick question. [closes the door] Are you scared? |
| Michael Scott: | Never. About what? A little. What are you talking about? |
| Ryan: | We heard about the punch. |
| Michael Scott: | What punch? |
| Kelly: | Pam. She's gonna punch the crap out of your face after work. |
| Michael Scott: | I'm pretty sure we said slap. |
| Kelly: | No. It's a punch. And Pam has that crazy pregnancy strength now. |
| Ryan: | I'm getting concerned that you don't seem to understand what's going to happen. Do you? |
| Michael Scott: | [pauses] I... umm... I'm good. |
| Ryan: | Alright. See you there. |
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| Pam Beesly: | You're bribing me. |
| Michael Scott: | No! [laughing] No, no... Unless you want me to! Do you want me to? Because I will. I will bribe you. No... Your face is saying, don't? Unless I haven't offered you enough? Your face isn't changing. What is it! Talk to me face, tell me what Pam's brain is thinking. |
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| Dwight Shrute: | Can't a guy just buy some bagels for his friends so they'll owe him a favor which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore? Jeez. When did everyone get soo cynical? |
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| Pam Beesly: | I used to love coming here. The chicken parm is good, big part of my childhood. [sarcastically] Oh! Maybe Michael will start dating that too. |
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| Meredith: | Hey everybody, he's not in the men's room. Although the seat was warm, so we may have just missed him. |
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| Michael Scott: | Do I really want to go snowboarding? No, but I would like to if I wanted to. |
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| Pam Beesly: | The cake's really good. |
| Helene | Oh I know! I love when they use buttercream frosting. |
| Michael Scott: | Finish your cake, Helene. I want you to enjoy that cake. Because I have something terrible I need to tell you. And I want you to enjoy your cake before I tell you this terrible, terrible thing. |
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| Dwight Shrute: | Pam would you care for a bagel? |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh, no thank you. |
| Dwight Shrute: | Oh, that's right, you're a woman and you need to refuse food the first time. I'll try again. [turns half way around then turns back to Pam] Please Pam, reconsider and have a bagel. |
| Pam Beesly: | I have an early lunch. |
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| Michael Scott: | Am I scared to get hit in the face? No. Every day weirdos pay dominatrixes hundred of dollars for that very privilege. I'm scared I'm gonna love it. |
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| Pam Beesly: | [about Michael's birthday lunch for Pam's mom] Why did I get in the car? I could have struggled. I have a whistle in my purse, I didn't even blow it. |
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| Michael Scott: | Birthday lunch. Birthday lunch, there is no better medicine than birthday lunch. It'll cure all of your "Gee I don't know if Michael should be dating my mother." And fixes all occurrences of "I don't really see them together." So, open wide, Pam, and take a big ol' spoonful of birthday lunch medicine... Take with food. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Michael's been trying to get me and Jim to hang out with him ever since he started dating my mom. [sighs] I don't know. I really hoped this thing would just die out, but today he's planning a birthday lunch for my mom and we have to go. No way out. ...No way out. |
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| Andy | [to camera] What if Dwight dies and I still owe him something? That is a recipe for a ghost. |
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