The Office Season 2 Quotes - The Fight
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| Michael Scott: | I know a ton of 14-year-old girls that could kick Dwight''s ass. |
| Jim Halpert: | You know a ton of 14-year-old girls? |
| Dwight Schrute: | What belt are they? |
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| Michael Scott: | Do I want to be feared or loved? Um... easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. |
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| Michael Scott: | Go ahead, punch me. |
| Jim: | Can't. Just got a manicure. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh queer! [looks at camera] ...Eye. Queer Eye. That's a good show. Important show. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | I am now the Assistant Sensei. |
| Jim Halpert: | Wow. Assistant to the Sensei. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Assistant Sensei! |
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| Dwight Schrute: | I need to change my emergency contact information from Michael Scott. |
| Ryan: | Okay, to what? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Just put... the hospital. Contact number... just put 911. [Dwight leaves] |
| Michael Scott: | He is such a sore loser. You heard, obviously, that I mopped the floor with him this afternoon. ...You know what? Um, do yourself a favor. Just leave me as his contact and I will call the hospital. Cut out the middle man. |
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| Michael Scott: | Dwight is a wuss. When we rented Armageddon, he cried at the end of it. |
| Dwight Schrute: | That was because it was New Year's Eve and it started to snow at exactly midnight. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | I come from a long line of fighters, my maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran. He killed twenty men and then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp... My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life... different kind of fight. |
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| Jim Halpert: | That's not advice. What advice sounds like is, 'don't ever bring your purple belt to work, because someone might steal it.' [holds up Dwight's purprle belt] |
| Dwight Schrute: | Okay give that back to me. |
| Jim Halpert: | Say please. |
| Dwight Schrute: | No. That is not a toy. |
| Jim Halpert: | Please? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Please. |
| Jim Halpert: | Good. And it absolutely is a toy. Arigato. |
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| Michael Scott: | On the streets we didn't have any rules. Maybe one. No kicks to the groin, home for dinner. |
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| Toby: | We wanna go home. |
| Michael Scott: | Well you don't even have anyone to come home to, Toby, so. |
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| Michael Scott: | Um actually I'm sending Ryan on a top secret mission. Tell her what it is. |
| Ryan: | Updating emergency contacts? |
| Pam Beesly: | Well, is that really a priority? |
| Michael Scott: | Is it a priority? Oh I dunno. Um, what if there's a tornado, Pam? Peoples legs are crushed under rubble. 'Please, would you be so kind as to call my wife?' No, I can't, because we don't have any emergency contact information because Pam said it wasn't a priority. Think, think with your head Pam. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Well we're all getting excited to see this fight. The Albany Branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing, but Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour so that we all could go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight... FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT- I'm comin'- FIGHT! |
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| Michael Scott: | [on the phone] This is Michael Jackson calling from Wonderland. |
| Ryan: | You mean Neverland? |
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| Jim Halpert: | Was that your mom? |
| Dwight Schrute: | No, that was my sensei. |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh, I thought that was your mom. |
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| Michael Scott: | [singing] I don't wanna work, I just wanna bang on this mug all day-- |
| Ryan: | Did you ask me here for any specific reason? |
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| Michael Scott: | Look, if we were in a bar right now, there would be two punches: me punching you, and you hitting the floor. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | [after being promoted, looking around the conference room] So I guess... this'll just be my office. |
| Michael Scott: | No. No. Title change only. |
| Dwight Schrute: | I'll have Pam send out a memo. |
| Michael Scott: | No, no. Three month probationary period, let's just not... tell, anybody, about this right now. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Just a formality? |
| Michael Scott: | Absolutely. But not really. |
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| [Dwight enters] | |
| Michael Scott: | Oh, hey... Karate Kid... The Hilary Swank version. Hi. How are ya? |
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| Jim Halpert: | When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way, right? |
| Michael Scott: | You're a Jet? |
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