Top Rated Quotes from The Office
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Jim Halpert: | Question. What kind of bear is best? |
| Dwight Schrute: | That's a ridiculous question. |
| Jim Halpert: | False. Black bear. |
| Dwight Schrute: | That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought-- |
| Jim Halpert: | Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Bears do not... What is going on?! What are you doing?! |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Ryan: | Did this happen on company property? |
| Michael Scott: | It was on company property, with company property. So, double jeopardy, we're fine. |
| Ryan: | I don't think-- I don't think you understand how jeopardy works. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh, I'm sorry. What is, 'we're fine'? |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Jim Halpert: | Does that include 'that's what she said'? |
| Michael Scott: | Mmhh, yes. |
| Jim Halpert: | Wow that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling. |
| Michael Scott: | Mmmm... THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael Scott: | Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car. |
| Oscar: | Where? |
| Michael Scott: | It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok. |
| Stanley: | What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that? |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael Scott: | Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Dwight Schrute: | Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check-in time in now, check-out time is never. |
| Jim Halpert: | Does my room have cable? |
| Dwight Schrute: | No. And the sheets are made of fire. |
| Jim Halpert: | Can I change rooms? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Sorry we're all booked up. Hell convention in town. |
| Jim Halpert: | Can I have a late check-out? |
| Dwight Schrute: | I'll have to talk to the manager. |
| Jim Halpert: | You're not the manager, even in your own fantasy? |
| Dwight Schrute: | I'm the owner.. the co-owner. With Satan! |
| Jim Halpert: | Okay, just so I understand it. In your wildest fantasy, you are in hell and you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil. |
| Dwight Schrute: | But I haven't told you my salary yet. |
| Jim Halpert: | Go. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Eighty thousand dollars. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Toby: | Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's, uh, you know. There's gambling and alcohol... And it's in our dangerous warehouse. And it's a school night. And, you know, Hooters is catering. You know. Is that- is that enough? Should I keep going? |
| Michael Scott: | Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be. |
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| Jim Halpert: | [after Jim paired his headset with Dwight's cell phone] Hello this is Dwight. |
| Pam Beesly: | [over the phone] Hello is this Dwight? |
| Jim Halpert: | Yes it is. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh my goodness you sound sexy. |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh, thank you. I've been working out. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Woah woah woah! Pam! Pam! You are not talking to Dwight right now. You are talking to Jim. |
| Pam Beesly: | [into phone] Dwight? |
| Dwight Schrute: | No! [waving] I'm over here! |
| Pam Beesly: | I'm confused. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael Scott: | Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family. |
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| Michael Scott: | You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Dwight Schrute: | [pushing Michael's face into the wet cement] Force it in as deep as you can. |
| Michael Scott: | [muffled] That's what she said. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Jim Halpert: | One day Michael came in, complaining about a speed bump, on the highway... I wonder who he ran over then. |
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| Ryan: | What I really want, honestly, Michael is for you to know it so that you can communicate it to the people here, to your clients, whomever. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh okay. |
| Ryan: | What? |
| Michael Scott: | It's whoever, not whomever. |
| Ryan: | It's whomever. |
| Michael Scott: | No, whomever is never acutally right. |
| Jim Halpert: | Nope, sometimes it's right. |
| Creed: | Michael is right. It's a made up word used to trick students- |
| Andy: | No. Actually, whomever is the formal version of the word-- |
| Oscar: | Obviously it's a real word- but I don't know how to use it correctly. |
| Michael Scott: | [to camera] Not a native speaker. |
| Kevin: | I know what's right. But I'm not gonna say. Because you're all jerks who didn't come see my band last night. |
| Ryan: | Do you really know which one is correct? |
| Kevin: | I don't know. |
| Pam Beesly: | It's whom when it's the object of the sentence and who when as the subject. |
| Phyllis: | That sounds right. |
| Michael Scott: | Well it sounds right but is it? |
| Stanley: | How did Ryan use it, as an object? |
| Ryan: | As an object. |
| Kelly: | Ryan used me as an object. |
| Oscar: | Is he right about that-- |
| Pam Beesly: | How did he use it again? |
| Toby: | It was, Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to explain the computer system, the object-- |
| Michael Scott: | Thank you! |
| Toby: | ...to whomever, meaning us, the indirect object. Which is the, the correct usage of the word. |
| Michael Scott: | No one, uh asked you anything ever so whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it in your skull? |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Pam Beesly: | There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, "what if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?" He said, "if I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks." |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| [SPOILERS BELOW] | |
| Pam Beesly: | [yelling over the rain] Hey! This is not halfway! I did that math, I had to drive way longer than you. Montclair would've been closer so you have to buy lunch. |
| [Jim gets down on one knee] | |
| Pam Beesly: | What are you doing? |
| Jim Halpert: | I just... couldn't wait. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh my God. |
| Jim Halpert: | Pam, will you marry me? |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh my God. |
| Jim Halpert: | So? |
| Pam Beesly: | [nodding head] Yes. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael Scott: | [screaming into the office] I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY! |
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| Jan's lawyer: | How long have you known Ms. Levinson? |
| Michael Scott: | Six years and two months. |
| Jan's lawyer: | And you were directly under her the entire time? |
| Michael Scott: | That's what she said. |
| Jan's lawyer: | Excuse me? |
| Michael Scott: | [slowly] That's what she said. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Jim Halpert: | Where do you wanna go for dinner? |
| Pam Beesley: | I donno I kind of hate all our regular places right now. [pause] Oh, you know what? That one-- |
| [Jim stops and gets down on one knee] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Hey Pam. Will you wait for me one second, while I tie my shoe? |
| Pam Beesley: | I hate you. |
| [Jim catches up to Pam, both laughing] | |
| Jim Halpert: | What! My shoe was untied. What is your problem? Oh my God! You thought I was- Oh, no no... |
| Pam Beesley: | Ohh how could I have thought that? How could I have though that? |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael Scott: | Man I would love to burn your candles! |
| Jan: | You burn it you buy it! |
| Michael Scott: | Oh good! I'll be your first customer! |
| Jan: | You're hardly my first. |
| Michael Scott: | THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!! |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael Scott: | [after sipping wine] That is sort of an oaky afterbirth. |
| Jim Halpert: | What was that? |
