Top Rated Quotes from The Office

Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
429
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Jim Halpert: Question. What kind of bear is best?
Dwight Schrute: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim Halpert: False. Black bear.
Dwight Schrute: That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought--
Jim Halpert: Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight Schrute: Bears do not... What is going on?! What are you doing?!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
287
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Jim Halpert: Does that include 'that's what she said'?
Michael Scott: Mmhh, yes.
Jim Halpert: Wow that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling.
Michael Scott: Mmmm... THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
277
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Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael Scott: It was on company property, with company property. So, double jeopardy, we're fine.
Ryan: I don't think-- I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael Scott: Oh, I'm sorry. What is, 'we're fine'?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
243
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Michael Scott: Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.
Oscar: Where?
Michael Scott: It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok.
Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
239
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Michael Scott: Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
182
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Dwight Schrute: Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check-in time in now, check-out time is never.
Jim Halpert: Does my room have cable?
Dwight Schrute: No. And the sheets are made of fire.
Jim Halpert: Can I change rooms?
Dwight Schrute: Sorry we're all booked up. Hell convention in town.
Jim Halpert: Can I have a late check-out?
Dwight Schrute: I'll have to talk to the manager.
Jim Halpert: You're not the manager, even in your own fantasy?
Dwight Schrute: I'm the owner.. the co-owner. With Satan!
Jim Halpert: Okay, just so I understand it. In your wildest fantasy, you are in hell and you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil.
Dwight Schrute: But I haven't told you my salary yet.
Jim Halpert: Go.
Dwight Schrute: Eighty thousand dollars.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
149
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Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's, uh, you know. There's gambling and alcohol... And it's in our dangerous warehouse. And it's a school night. And, you know, Hooters is catering. You know. Is that- is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael Scott: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
144
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Michael Scott: You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
142
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Jim Halpert: [after Jim paired his headset with Dwight's cell phone] Hello this is Dwight.
Pam Beesly: [over the phone] Hello is this Dwight?
Jim Halpert: Yes it is.
Pam Beesly: Oh my goodness you sound sexy.
Jim Halpert: Oh, thank you. I've been working out.
Dwight Schrute: Woah woah woah! Pam! Pam! You are not talking to Dwight right now. You are talking to Jim.
Pam Beesly: [into phone] Dwight?
Dwight Schrute: No! [waving] I'm over here!
Pam Beesly: I'm confused.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
141
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Michael Scott: Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
127
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Jim Halpert: One day Michael came in, complaining about a speed bump, on the highway... I wonder who he ran over then.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
122
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Pam Beesly: There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, "what if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?" He said, "if I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Ryan: What I really want, honestly, Michael is for you to know it so that you can communicate it to the people here, to your clients, whomever.
Michael Scott: Oh okay.
Ryan: What?
Michael Scott: It's whoever, not whomever.
Ryan: It's whomever.
Michael Scott: No, whomever is never acutally right.
Jim Halpert: Nope, sometimes it's right.
Creed: Michael is right. It's a made up word used to trick students-
Andy: No. Actually, whomever is the formal version of the word--
Oscar: Obviously it's a real word- but I don't know how to use it correctly.
Michael Scott: [to camera] Not a native speaker.
Kevin: I know what's right. But I'm not gonna say. Because you're all jerks who didn't come see my band last night.
Ryan: Do you really know which one is correct?
Kevin: I don't know.
Pam Beesly: It's whom when it's the object of the sentence and who when as the subject.
Phyllis: That sounds right.
Michael Scott: Well it sounds right but is it?
Stanley: How did Ryan use it, as an object?
Ryan: As an object.
Kelly: Ryan used me as an object.
Oscar: Is he right about that--
Pam Beesly: How did he use it again?
Toby: It was, Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to explain the computer system, the object--
Michael Scott: Thank you!
Toby: ...to whomever, meaning us, the indirect object. Which is the, the correct usage of the word.
Michael Scott: No one, uh asked you anything ever so whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it in your skull?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
118
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Dwight Schrute: [pushing Michael's face into the wet cement] Force it in as deep as you can.
Michael Scott: [muffled] That's what she said.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
113
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[SPOILERS BELOW]
Pam Beesly: [yelling over the rain] Hey! This is not halfway! I did that math, I had to drive way longer than you. Montclair would've been closer so you have to buy lunch.
[Jim gets down on one knee]
Pam Beesly: What are you doing?
Jim Halpert: I just... couldn't wait.
Pam Beesly: Oh my God.
Jim Halpert: Pam, will you marry me?
Pam Beesly: Oh my God.
Jim Halpert: So?
Pam Beesly: [nodding head] Yes.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
112
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Michael Scott: [screaming into the office] I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
111
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Jan's lawyer: How long have you known Ms. Levinson?
Michael Scott: Six years and two months.
Jan's lawyer: And you were directly under her the entire time?
Michael Scott: That's what she said.
Jan's lawyer: Excuse me?
Michael Scott: [slowly] That's what she said.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
97
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Michael Scott: Man I would love to burn your candles!
Jan: You burn it you buy it!
Michael Scott: Oh good! I'll be your first customer!
Jan: You're hardly my first.
Michael Scott: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
93
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Jim Halpert: Where do you wanna go for dinner?
Pam Beesley: I donno I kind of hate all our regular places right now. [pause] Oh, you know what? That one--
[Jim stops and gets down on one knee]
Jim Halpert: Hey Pam. Will you wait for me one second, while I tie my shoe?
Pam Beesley: I hate you.
[Jim catches up to Pam, both laughing]
Jim Halpert: What! My shoe was untied. What is your problem? Oh my God! You thought I was- Oh, no no...
Pam Beesley: Ohh how could I have thought that? How could I have though that?
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
88
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Michael Scott: [after sipping wine] That is sort of an oaky afterbirth.
Jim Halpert: What was that?
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons