The Office Season 3 Quotes - The Return

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  • Conference Room (3 Comments)
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Jim Halpert: I miss Dwight. Congratulations Universe. You win.
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Andy: Fine. I'll just sit at my desk and be quiet. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship. [hidden cell phone starts to ring] Excuse me. And I'm also sorry that a lot of people here for some reason think it's funny to steal someone's personal property and hide it from them. Here's a little newsflash! It's not funny! In fact, it's pretty freakin' unfunny! Oh, my GOD.
[Andy punches a hole in the wall]
Andy: That... was an overreaction. Gonna hit the break room. Does anybody want anything? Pam, you good?
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Dwight Schrute: How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jack hammer. Merciless. Insatiable.
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Michael Scott: Love that Andy. Right? Solid fellow. Seems smart enough. Likes me a lot. A lot. Too much. Like a crazy person a lil. Not super crazy just... just something about him that creeps me out. I can't really explain it. He's always up in my business. Which is ebonics for being in my face and annoying the bejesus out of me. I don't understand how someone could have so little self awareness.
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Jim Halpert: I think your phone's in the ceiling.
Andy: YOU'RE IN THE CEILING!
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Dwight Schrute: I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me.
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Andy: Man, TGI Wednesday. Am I right?
Michael Scott: Yup.
Andy: Gonna go home, get my beer on, get my Lost on. What are you doing later? You wanna hang out?
Michael Scott: Uh, I dunno. Maybe.
Andy: I'll take that as a maybe.
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Michael Scott: Who's that sportscaster that bit that lady? Mar-something? Andy is like Mar-something. Great sportscaster. Big weirdo creep.
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Oscar: We don't even have to have a party.
Michael Scott: No, hey. Hey, don't be ridiculous. Of course we are going to have a party. The celebration of Oscar. Oscar night. And I want it to be Oscar specific--
Oscar: Michael...
Michael Scott: No, no not because you're gay. You're gayness does not define you. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you, to me. And I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity. So Phyllis I want you to go and find firecrackers and a Chiwawa.
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Dwight Schrute: For your convience I've broken it down into three parts: professional resume, athletic and special skills resume and Dwight Schrute trivia.
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Michael Scott: It takes a big man to admit his mistake and that's what I did. The important thing is, I learned something. I don't want somebody sucking up to me because they think I am going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me.
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Andy: Hey, just listen. I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bar, beers, buzzed, wings, shots, drunk, waitresses hot, football Cornell/Hosfstra, slaughter, then quick nap at my place and then we hit the tizzown.
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Phyllis: Dwight had a big personality and I have a big personality and a lot of times when two people like that get together, it can be explosive.

3 Comments in the episode conference room.

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