[Interview] Look, I know it's easy to say tonight was just a fluke, and maybe it was. But here's a piece of trivia: A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, So if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are... you just might catch one.
[Interview] Robert said that we needed to double our sales growth to 8% by the end of the quarter. That's today. And we're $830 short... and I can't afford to keep buying paper from us... so today, we need to sell $830 worth of paper, and in the next quarter I need to sell the $2,200 worth of paper that's in my garage.
Alright guys, time's up. Who was the relatively unknown patent clerk who discovered that energy equals mass times the speed of light squared? Looks like everyone gets a point for "Albert Einstein"... oh, wait, except for the Einsteins.
[Interview] Animals, machines, vast virtual armies. All of these things I've successfully managed. The only thing I haven't managed is people. I saw an ad on the Sabre website for an open manager position in their printers division. I spoke to Robert California about it and he said for me to come by and see him sometime. So, like a Spanish conquistador, I have come to Florida to claim what is rightfully mine.
[Interview] Corporate says to me, "Gabe, we need you in Scranton". Scranton says, "Gabe, go back down to Florida, you're needed there". So, Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'm up there. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I'm down here... I can think of no better way to confront my deathly fear of flying.
Excuse me, sir, on the Dunder Mifflin A team... excuse me, sir... I'm sure you're just checking your Grindr account... [the gay crowd laughs] but you can't check smart phones during trivia. It's against the rules.
Ok... I'm turning it off.
Ok, you're not turning it off.
I won't look at it...
I can't, I can't not touch it.
Ok, we're just gonna take it away. [Ryan hands over phone reluctantly] Thank you.
[Gets up and leaves] I can't, I can't not have my phone. I'm sorry. I want to be with my phone...
I am leaving early today because tonight I have a trivia contest in Philadelphia. Any other crunch-time, I would love to stay and cook the books for you so you can save face in front of your CEO... but tonight is Trivacalypse!
[Answers phone] Hallway phone, Gabe Lewis speaking.
[On phone] Gabe, listen to me. Don't bother Bill with this, he has to go put out a fire on the homefront. Just wait twenty minutes, then I want you to listen to Dwight's pitch. Make him feel valued, make him feel heard.
[Question] Hey now, you're not an all-star of the NBA, but you did get your game on when you won the NBA's Sixth Man of the Year award in 2011. Who are you?
Jim, Darryl, your time to shine.
Yes. Shawn Marion.
That doesn't sound right, I want to say... Ladamian Washington?
Wrong. For so many reasons.
I know Elizabeth Taylor's sixth man was Richard Burton. Is that helpful?
[Gets up to leave] That's it, I'm going to go watch the boats on the river.
Ron Artest, Kelly.
No, it's Lamar Odom. If it was Ron Artest, it would've come up on Dancing With The Stars when they pan over his trophy case when he's at home with his family. Lamar winning Sixth Man was a huge storyline on Klohe and Lamar.
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