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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 3 - A Benihana Christmas

The Office Season 3 Quotes - A Benihana Christmas

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  • Conference Room (7 Comments)
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37
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Michael Scott: Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back, after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho. And you told her she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then... suddenly she's not your ho no mo'.
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32
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Jim Halpert: As ranking number two, I am starting the 'Committee to determine the validity of the two committees.' I am the sole member. The committee will act on this now.
Dwight Schrute: Okay this is stupid.
Jim Halpert: Could you please keep it down? I'm in session. [pause] I have determined that this committee is valid.
Dwight Schrute: What? No, no, wait, wait, wait. Permission to join the validity committee.
[long pause]
Jim Halpert: Permission denied.
Dwight Schrute: Dammit.
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30
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Michael Scott: I need my entourage. Jim! Dwight! Ryan! Common we're going to Asian Hooters.
Ryan: Oh man I can't.
Michael Scott: Why not?
Ryan: I'm not feeling so well. I've got a ton of work to do here. MSG allergy. Peanut allergy. I just ate there last night.
Michael Scott: Ok. Feel better. Common Jim, let's go.
Jim Halpert: Wow. Thanks for taking all the excuses, dude.
Ryan: Doctor appointment, car trouble, plantar warts, granddad fought in World War II. Use your head, man. I keep mine in here. Look alive, Halpert. Welcome back.
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25
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Michael Scott: I guess I didn't know her very well... I marked her arm.
Jim Halpert: You what?
Michael Scott: I put a mark on her arm... so I could tell them apart. [laughing] I don-- I know. I know. [pause] I can't believe I gave her my bike.
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Jim Halpert: Oh my God. Now she's up and she's trying to describe how to correctly butcher a goose, but she's having trouble coming up with it.
Dwight Schrute: Ok. Cindy. Yo! Cindy, Cindy! Hold its neck back, insert the knife beneath the jaw, bring it all the way around. There's gonna be a good amount of blood. But don't let that bother you. Have a bucket there. For the blood, and the innards and the feathers.
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18
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Pam Beesley: Um hey. I need to give you your Christmas gift now, because um...well I'll just tell you.
Jim Halpert: What?
Pam Beesley: For the past few months I've been sending Dwight letters from the CIA.
Jim Halpert: Are you serious?
Pam Beesley: They're considering him for a top secret mission. There's his application and this is where I made him list every secret he promised he'd never ever tell.
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16
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Dwight Schrute: Merry Christmas! [lays dead goose on Pam's desk]
Pam Beesley: Merry Christm-- No! Why... why did you bring that here?!
Dwight Schrute: Don't worry she's dead. Oh wait, ['checks'] he's dead.
Pam Beesley: Dwight, Wha-
Dwight Schrute: I accidentally ran over it. It's a Christmas miracle.
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14
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Jim Halpert: It's a bold move to photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael is a bold guy. Is bold the right word?
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12
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Jim Halpert: [reading Dwight's secrets] Last year my boss, Michael Scott, took a day off because he said he had pneumonia, but really he was leaving early to go to magic camp.
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11
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Dwight Schrute: I'm going to get my carving knife out of the trunk.
Toby: Aw Dwight, we talked about this.
Dwight Schrute: No, Toby, this is different. He's already dead.
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10
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Angela: Meredith! If you don't come to my party, you will be very, very sorry.
Meredith: Is that a threat?
Angela: No, it's an invitation.
Pam Beesly: We have vodka!
Karen: Lots of it!
[Meredith joins their party]
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9
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Angela: I don't back down. My sister and I used to be bestfriends, and we haven't talked in 16 years, over some disagreement I don't even remember. So, yeah, I'm pretty good.
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9
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[Michael re-plays song sample]
Dwight Schrute: Why don't you just buy the whole song?
Michael Scott: I don't have to buy it. I just want to taste it... I just want a lil' taste of it.
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9
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Dwight Schrute: Once I brought in a duck to prepare for lunch, and people got upset. Apparently they got attached to the duck and didn't want to see it killed.
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8
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Michael Scott: Hey! I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam. Side of candy Pams. And perhaps some Pam chops. With mint.
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8
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Andy: So she looks really hot, so I said, 'you look hotter than usual today.' [...] So, she looks at me right? And she goes, 'I'm sorry, do I even know you?' After a year! A year of buying lattes from her. Do you believe that?
Jim Halpert: Yes.
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8
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Kevin: I think I'll go to Angela's party... because that's the party I know.
Ryan: I miss the days when there was only one party I didn't want to go to.
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7
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Carol: What is this?
Michael Scott: That is my Christmas card. It's a picture of you and me and your kids on a ski trip, having a blast. Ski-son's greetings.
Carol: No, see, we never went on a ski trip.
Michael Scott: I know, I know.
Carol: I went on a ski trip, two years ago, with my kids and my ex-husband.
Michael Scott: Uh, yes but what you didn't realize at the time was that I was with you, in a sense, I was in your heart.
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6
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Michael Scott: When you know, you just know. Check her out. My little gal over there. Babelectical.
Roy: Which one is she?
Michael Scott: It's the- it's one of those two. [points to the waitresses]
Roy: You don't know?
Kevin: Dude, you should know.
Michael Scott: Yeah, well. It's been hard, they're wearing the exact same uniform. And I've been drinking. And you know how all waitresses look alike.
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6
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Kelly: Hey! A margarita-karaoke-Christmas party! That sounds like fun.
Angela: No. That is not a party, there is only one party and it's hosted by the party planning committee, and it starts at 3 o'clock.
Kevin: Then why are there two flyers?
Karen: Oh, I understand that this is confusing for everyone, let me explain. There's a party that starts at 3-
Kevin: Right...
Karen: And then there's a way more fun party that starts at 2:45.
Pam Beesly: Right, and if you're interested in the way more fun party, all the info can be found here, on our more brightly colored flyer.
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5
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Michael Scott: There she is. A Christmas Carol. Hello. You're about five hours early to the party. Oh, you're such a blonde. [laughs]
Carol: Michael.
Michael Scott: Hey everybody. I don't know who you haven't met yet, but I think this is one of them. This is my girlfriend, Carol. This is just the front of her. [whispers to Carol] Show them... show them the other side.
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5
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Roy: Alright I'll see you guys later.
[Roy leaves]
Karen: He's cute. You should date him.
Pam Beesly: Oh. Yeah, maybe.
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4
likes
Michael Scott: I'm looking for the toy drive box.
Pam Beesley: It's behind you.
Michael Scott: Okay, well, I need to put this bike in there. I hope it will fit with all these little knick knacks.
Jim Halpert: Wow. What kind of bike is that?
Michael Scott: Um, I dunno. Average kind.
Kevin: The tires look pretty worn.
Michael Scott: Well that is probably from the test drive.
Jim Halpert: But the paints chipping. Is that your old bike Michael?
Michael Scott: No...
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3
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Michael Scott: Okay, listen. I like you. I really like you. So much, in fact, that I would like you to accompany me on a trip to Sandals Jamaica.
Waitress: Nah.. I have school...
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3
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Andy: I know the perfect place too.
Michael Scott: Hooters?
Andy: Noo. Benihana. Much classier. But don't worry, babes are totally hot too.
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3
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Dwight Schrute: Looks like you got a little Nakiri knife action going there.
Chef: No, it's Usuba.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah bet you wish you had a Nakiri though.
Chef: Actually the Usuba's a better knife when you're working with this quantity.
Dwight Schrute: Meh, I donno. Still think Nakiri's better.
Woman patron: I think he'd know.
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3
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Pam Beesly: Hello everyone. We would just like to announce that our party is starting now in the break room. So, come by--
Angela: I have a really important announcement to make. About. Your paychecks. Um... your paychecks will be arriving, as scheduled, on Friday. And they will be in the correct amount, that they normally are in. Please stand by for a very important announcement, further, regarding your paycheck! [runs out of the room]
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2
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Angela I'm not moving the tree, face it. The only power you have over me is this little secret that I know you're not going to tell. Oh, and you want to know how I know that? Because then you wont be able to plan your stupid, tacky parties anymore. So you move the tree.
Phyllis Okay... [to the office] Angela's having sex with Dwight! I caught them doing it after Toby's going-away party.
[silence, everyone looks toward Dwight]
Dwight Schrute [sarcastically] Well don't look so surprised.
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0
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Andy Bernard Cindy! Cindy! I want you to close your eyes and picture your dream house... C'mon! Do it for Michael - he's had a really long day...
Michael Scott Ha, ha, ha... I don't know what he's doing...
Dwight Schrute [Yelling from other end of table] Jim! Jim! Wha-... what's happening?
Jim Halpert Oh [points at Cindy] She's asleep...
Dwight Schrute Ah - narcolepsy...
Jim Halpert Probably...
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Michael Scott: [From deleted scenes] [On phone] Carol-Carol- Listen to me- Since you broke up with me I think it is only fair you tell me what I did wrong. Mhmmm...uhhuh....yeah..... Well can you tell me what I did right?
7 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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