The Office Season 3 Quotes - Ben Franklin
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| Angela: | You know this is a luncheon shower. Girls only. |
| Michael Scott: | No problem. The guys are having a little shindig of their own in the warehouse. From 2:30 to 3:15. That is the only time that Bob was available. Sort of a guys' night out. A 'G-N-O' if you will. A 'gno.' Actually it's more of a guys' afternoon in. A G-A-I. A gay. Not-- not... it's uh, not gay. It's, uh, just uh, it's a bridal shower for guys. A guy shower. An hour long shower with guys. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | I don't care what Jim says. That, is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure. |
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| Michael Scott: | [bringing in steaks] Who wants some man meat? |
| Dwight Schrute: | I do. I want some man meat. |
| Jim Halpert: | Michael, Dwight would like your man meat. |
| Michael Scott: | Well then my man meat, he shall have. |
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| Michael Scott: | Mr. Franklin, I would say you are probably one of the sexiest presidents ever. |
| Ben Franklin: | Well, actually, I never was president. |
| Michael Scott: | [quietly] Yes, but Ben Franklin was. |
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| Michael Scott: | So you know who turned out to be kinda a creep? Ben Franklin. And, Elizabeth, the stripper, gave me great advice, which rhymed. Really makes you wonder how Ben Franklin can become president but someone like Elizabeth can't. |
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| Michael Scott: | This might be Phyllis only wedding ever. It is my job to ensure that none of you look like ragamuffins. So, I am instituting primae noctis. |
| [cut to interview] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Primae noctis, i believe from the movie Braveheart and confirmed on Wikipedia is when the king got to deflower every new bride on her wedding night. So... |
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| Jim Halpert: | Michael referred me to a male strip club called, 'Banana Slings'. Instead, I called the Scolastic Speakers of Pennsylvania. |
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| Michael Scott: | [while making a video for his future son] And remember. No matter what, I will always love you. |
| Dwight Schrute: | What if he's a murderer? |
| Michael Scott: | He's not going to be a murderer. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Maybe that's how you die. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Have you ever seen a stripper before? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Yes. Jennifer Garner portrayed one on Alias. It was one of her many aliases. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah. Me neither. |
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| Ben Franklin: | You know I invented electricity. |
| Pam Beesly: | I know. |
| Ben Franklin: | Well I'm sensing a little electricity here. |
| Pam Beesly: | Didn't Ben Franklin have syphilis? |
| Ben Franklin: | Yes. But I don't. My name is Gordon. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh... |
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| Michael Scott: | Stripper? Can I ask you a question? About women? Um, should I tell my girlfriend that you danced up on me? |
| Stripper: | Secrets, secrets, are no fun. Secrets, secrets, hurt someone. |
| Michael Scott: | Wow... Thank you. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | [ordering a stripper] Ruddy cheeks, thick calves, no tats, no moles, no tats-- No, 'tats.' Of course I want t-- |
| Jim Halpert: | Stop. That's disgusting. |
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| Stripper: | Oh my God. I would get so fat if I worked here. |
| Pam Beesly: | Yeah? I lose my appetite all the time. |
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| Stripper: | I'm Elizabeth. I'm the dancer that was requested. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Okay. Ah, I specifically ordered a stripper. |
| Stripper: | I'm the stripper. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Oh. Okay, good. Well in future please identify yourself as such. |
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| Roy: | I'm not really into strippers. You know what I find sexy? Pam's art. She's an artist. And I appreciate that. It's very moving. And sexy. The art. |
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| Michael Scott: | It's gonna be great. We're gonna be doing some darts, we're gonna be grilling up some steaks, we got some pie. It's going to be very delicious. |
| Todd Packer: | And what kind of stripper did you get? |
| Michael Scott: | I did not order a stripper. |
| Todd Packer: | What do you mean you didn't order a stripper? Have you ever been to a bachelor party? |
| Michael Scott: | Tsst, yeah. Um well, not personally. No. |
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| Michael Scott: | I can't get a stripper here. Sexual harrasment. |
| Todd Packer: | Get one for the girls too, that evens it out. You know, seperate but equal. |
| Michael Scott: | So that's what that means. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Something's up with Jim and Karen. Not that I've been eavesdropping. It's not really any of my business, but... I've gotten pretty good at reading the back of Jim's neck. |
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| Michael Scott: | I'm trying to get everyone excited about Phyllis' wedding because I want her to get people excited about my wedding, when the time comes. Which won't be hard because it's going to be awesome. A lot better than hers that's for sure. We'll probably be on a boat. |
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| Michael Scott: | Okay everybody, slight change of plans. We are still going to be having two parties, but each is going to get a little extra dose of not-tay! [slaps bum] |
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| Michael Scott: | Half-pants. Right, Mr. Franklin? |
| Ben Franklin: | Knickers, in fact, yes. |
| Michael Scott: | He's in his knickers. |
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| Karen: | Hey, um, I wanted to talk to you, I know this is weird or whatever, but, um, Jim told me about you guys. |
| Pam Beesly: | What do you mean? |
| Karen: | Well that you kissed. And we talked it through, it's totally fine, it's not a big deal, it's just a kiss. What you're not still interested in him. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh yeah. |
| Karen: | Really? |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh no! I was confused by your phrasing. You should definitely go out with Jim. I mean you're going out with Jim. I'm not going out with Jim. You're dating him. Which is awesome. Because you guys are great together... I'm not into Jim. Yeah. |
| Karen: | So, um, we're good? |
| Pam Beesly: | Yeah. Sorry. |
| Karen: | What are you sorry about? |
| Pam Beesly: | Umm... what? |
| Karen: | What are you sorry about? |
| Pam Beesly: | Nothing? I was just thinking of something else. |
