The Office Season 3 Quotes - Ben Franklin

  • Quotes
  • Conference Room (7 Comments)
  • Download Episode (iTunes Link)
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
42
likes
Angela: You know this is a luncheon shower. Girls only.
Michael Scott: No problem. The guys are having a little shindig of their own in the warehouse. From 2:30 to 3:15. That is the only time that Bob was available. Sort of a guys' night out. A 'G-N-O' if you will. A 'gno.' Actually it's more of a guys' afternoon in. A G-A-I. A gay. Not-- not... it's uh, not gay. It's, uh, just uh, it's a bridal shower for guys. A guy shower. An hour long shower with guys.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
40
likes
Dwight Schrute: I don't care what Jim says. That, is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
32
likes
Michael Scott: [bringing in steaks] Who wants some man meat?
Dwight Schrute: I do. I want some man meat.
Jim Halpert: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.
Michael Scott: Well then my man meat, he shall have.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
23
likes
Michael Scott: Mr. Franklin, I would say you are probably one of the sexiest presidents ever.
Ben Franklin: Well, actually, I never was president.
Michael Scott: [quietly] Yes, but Ben Franklin was.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
20
likes
Jim Halpert: Michael referred me to a male strip club called, 'Banana Slings'. Instead, I called the Scolastic Speakers of Pennsylvania.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
20
likes
Michael Scott: So you know who turned out to be kinda a creep? Ben Franklin. And, Elizabeth, the stripper, gave me great advice, which rhymed. Really makes you wonder how Ben Franklin can become president but someone like Elizabeth can't.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
17
likes
Michael Scott: This might be Phyllis only wedding ever. It is my job to ensure that none of you look like ragamuffins. So, I am instituting primae noctis.
[cut to interview]
Jim Halpert: Primae noctis, i believe from the movie Braveheart and confirmed on Wikipedia is when the king got to deflower every new bride on her wedding night. So...
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
15
likes
Michael Scott: [while making a video for his future son] And remember. No matter what, I will always love you.
Dwight Schrute: What if he's a murderer?
Michael Scott: He's not going to be a murderer.
Dwight Schrute: Maybe that's how you die.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
14
likes
[in a sex shop]
Ryan: [about Michael] He hasn't even said a word yet. Just giggling.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
14
likes
Michael Scott: Stripper? Can I ask you a question? About women? Um, should I tell my girlfriend that you danced up on me?
Stripper: Secrets, secrets, are no fun. Secrets, secrets, hurt someone.
Michael Scott: Wow... Thank you.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
13
likes
Jim Halpert: Have you ever seen a stripper before?
Dwight Schrute: Yes. Jennifer Garner portrayed one on Alias. It was one of her many aliases.
Jim Halpert: Yeah. Me neither.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
13
likes
Ben Franklin: You know I invented electricity.
Pam Beesly: I know.
Ben Franklin: Well I'm sensing a little electricity here.
Pam Beesly: Didn't Ben Franklin have syphilis?
Ben Franklin: Yes. But I don't. My name is Gordon.
Pam Beesly: Oh...
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
12
likes
Dwight Schrute: [ordering a stripper] Ruddy cheeks, thick calves, no tats, no moles, no tats-- No, 'tats.' Of course I want t--
Jim Halpert: Stop. That's disgusting.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
11
likes
Roy: I'm not really into strippers. You know what I find sexy? Pam's art. She's an artist. And I appreciate that. It's very moving. And sexy. The art.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
11
likes
Stripper: Oh my God. I would get so fat if I worked here.
Pam Beesly: Yeah? I lose my appetite all the time.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
10
likes
Stripper: I'm Elizabeth. I'm the dancer that was requested.
Dwight Schrute: Okay. Ah, I specifically ordered a stripper.
Stripper: I'm the stripper.
Dwight Schrute: Oh. Okay, good. Well in future please identify yourself as such.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
8
likes
Michael Scott: It's gonna be great. We're gonna be doing some darts, we're gonna be grilling up some steaks, we got some pie. It's going to be very delicious.
Todd Packer: And what kind of stripper did you get?
Michael Scott: I did not order a stripper.
Todd Packer: What do you mean you didn't order a stripper? Have you ever been to a bachelor party?
Michael Scott: Tsst, yeah. Um well, not personally. No.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
8
likes
Michael Scott: I can't get a stripper here. Sexual harrasment.
Todd Packer: Get one for the girls too, that evens it out. You know, seperate but equal.
Michael Scott: So that's what that means.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
7
likes
Pam Beesly: Something's up with Jim and Karen. Not that I've been eavesdropping. It's not really any of my business, but... I've gotten pretty good at reading the back of Jim's neck.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
5
likes
Michael Scott: I'm trying to get everyone excited about Phyllis' wedding because I want her to get people excited about my wedding, when the time comes. Which won't be hard because it's going to be awesome. A lot better than hers that's for sure. We'll probably be on a boat.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
5
likes
Michael Scott: Okay everybody, slight change of plans. We are still going to be having two parties, but each is going to get a little extra dose of not-tay! [slaps bum]
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
4
likes
Michael Scott: Half-pants. Right, Mr. Franklin?
Ben Franklin: Knickers, in fact, yes.
Michael Scott: He's in his knickers.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
3
likes
Karen: Hey, um, I wanted to talk to you, I know this is weird or whatever, but, um, Jim told me about you guys.
Pam Beesly: What do you mean?
Karen: Well that you kissed. And we talked it through, it's totally fine, it's not a big deal, it's just a kiss. What you're not still interested in him.
Pam Beesly: Oh yeah.
Karen: Really?
Pam Beesly: Oh no! I was confused by your phrasing. You should definitely go out with Jim. I mean you're going out with Jim. I'm not going out with Jim. You're dating him. Which is awesome. Because you guys are great together... I'm not into Jim. Yeah.
Karen: So, um, we're good?
Pam Beesly: Yeah. Sorry.
Karen: What are you sorry about?
Pam Beesly: Umm... what?
Karen: What are you sorry about?
Pam Beesly: Nothing? I was just thinking of something else.
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
3
likes
Dwight Schrute: [suspiciously] Are you near sighted of far sighted?
Ben Franklin: BOTH! That's why I invented the bifocal!
Dwight Schrute: GAAAAH!
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
2
likes
Pam Beasley: Ben Franklin, do you wear boxers, briefs, or pantaloons?
Ben Franklin: Well, you're very saucy!
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
0
likes
Angela: Under no circumstances should a man strip off his clothes in this office.
Meredith: SHUT UP, ANGELA!
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
0
likes
Michael Scott: [To Ben Franklin role player who he thinks is a male stripper] Are you wearing a thong?
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!    
0
likes
Michael Scott: Look at that. Nothing like grilling in the great outdoors!
Ryan: Is this the same grill you grilled your foot on?
Michael Scott: No....Yes.
Ryan: Ugh. Gross!
Michael Scott: But I got all the foot off of it
7 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons