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There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, "what if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?" He said, "if I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."
[on the phone] I am. I am getting out there. Well, no, I've asked a lot of girls to dance, Mom, they're just- it's not- listen to me for a second. Yes I shaved the back of my neck. Oh my God, Mom I've gotta go one of my friends is getting beat up by some girls!
I know that a lot of you are very angry at Ryan because he is the reason that we all have to come in tomorrow. However I swear to God, if any of you hurts him in any way, emotionally, or taunts him, or makes fun of his height, or his half beard,--
It's under here as "Security Guard Home" did you not get his name or?
It's ringing. Does anyone have his name? Quick?
Yes. It's Eddy.
It's not- it's not Eddy. It's Edmund or--
Hank. His name is Hank.
Oh guys his name's not Hank it's uh.. is it Edgar?
Is it Elli-- [to cell phone] Hey... Chief. This is uh, Jim Halpert from, um, where you work. [staggered] You are the guy who sits behind the desk, you're- you're the a-African American guy. I mean you're uhh-- Who have I got here?
I have an announcement, uh, to make. I am moving to Costa Rica. Thought about it for a long time now, and I'm finally gonna do it. So... I'm just gonna hop the fence and job home now. [runs out through door]
No! [sits up] Guys. I think my friend Troy might have a drug problem. What do I do?
I think his species might have a higher tolerance than ours.
Shh. Just-- stop. Here's what you do. You tell him, that you're his friend and that you're going to help him and that everything's going to be alright. [pause] And then you put a wire on him, and you find out who's selling him, drugs, and then, you get that and you flip him. Turn him into a snitch. You follow that guy, to people really, really bad.
[Ryan lies back down]
[to camera] Been watching The Wire recently. I don't understand a word of it.
Yes, I'm having the Scranton branch come in on one Saturday so they can reenter sales they made on the phone, as sales made by the website, which they should have done in the first place- if the website had been working.
Like I said it's not about the horniness it's about the loneliness. And how can I be lonely with my boys? Like a famous person once said, boys on the side. But I don't. I disagree. I say, let's hear it for the boys.
It's off. It's not the dude I know. It's some other loser who won't let us in without chicks.
Ok w-w-w-w-wait. You two, Jersey State girls, let's go.
We're not goin' unless we can all go.
Ok, you know what? Fine. Let's go, two girls to a guy, come on. Let's do it! Come on Ryan. Move out! Three or four with him let's go. Come on, here we go. [referring to Ryan's friend] Don't step on him.
Hey man, you ever think there's going to be this massive nuclear holocaust and after all the major nations are destroyed it'll just be the tribes in the jungles that rise up and survive. That jungle warfare is going to rule the world?
[clapping slowly] Ryan has done a great job and I am not applauding sarcastically. Think about it. A month ago, nobody would go on this site because we were worried, about getting molested, or losing our identity, having it stolen. But now, at a time "TDB" all of these problems will be in the past. [to Ryan] You did good kid. You did goood.
I, um, thought about getting a tattoo on my back as well at one point. I was thinking about getting Back to the Future. Back, because it's on my back; and future because I'm the kind of guy who likes to look ahead, into the future. I just think a tattoo should mean something, you know? And it's my second favorite movie.
I've never heard of that movie.
Back to the Future? Ho! Wow! Well you should take a film education course.
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