The Office Season 5 Quotes - Broke

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Michael Scott: Well well well. How the turn tables-- [long silence]
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"Idiot Idiot Idiot"
Jim Halpert: It's my new Dwight ring.
Pam Beesly: I like it.
Jim Halpert: Good right? [picks up his phone] Hello?
Dwight Schrute: [over the phone] Idiot, we're starting back up. This is Dwight by the way.
Jim Halpert: Oh, ok.
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Michael Scott: Ok. Ok. Hold on. Hold on. Tye, I would like you to crunch those numbers again.
Accountant: It's a program there's no such thing as--
Michael Scott: Just crunch 'em. Just crunch 'em please.
Accountant: [presses 'enter'] Crunch.
Pam Beesly: Did it help.
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Dwight Schrute: I say we fill Michael's office with bees. My apiarist owes me a favor.
Jim Halpert: Really. Does he do, good work?
Dwight Schrute: [scoffs] No, Jim, I use a bad apiarist.
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Dwight Schrute: Case of the beet bandit. Missing beets from all over the farm, no footprints. Inside job. Mose in socks. Boom. Case closed.
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[calling from the Michael Scott Paper Company delivery van at 5am]
Michael Scott: Hellooo! Time to make the donuts! Oh Halpert! Wow! Boner patrol. Arrest that man! Your donuts make me go nuts!
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Pam Beesly: You didn't happen to bring any coffee, did you Michael?
Michael Scott: Milk and sugar! [passes back a thermos]
Pam Beesly: Oh, awesome. You're a life saver. [takes a sip] Wait is this just milk and sugar?
Michael Scott: That's what I said.
Pam Beesly: Do you drink this everyday?
Michael Scott: Every morning.
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Jim Halpert: Hey. Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Michael Scott: We're not hiring, Jim.
Jim Halpert: Actually I'm here for something else.
Michael Scott: Listen, I can't make you laugh right now.
Jim Halpert: You know I love a good guessing game but why don't I just tell you what I'm here for.
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Michael Scott: I don't care if Ryan murdered his entire family! He is like a son to me.
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Michael Scott: Our company is worth nothing. That's the difference between you and I. Business isn't about money to me, David. If tomorrow my company goes under I will just start another paper company. And then another and another and another. I have no shortage of company names.
David Wallace: Michael--
Michael Scott: That's one of 'em! Yes!
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David Wallace: Here's the situation. Your company is four weeks old. I know this business I know what suppliers are charging. I know you can't be making very much money. I don't know how your prices are so low, but I know it can't keep up that way. I'm sure you're scared. Probably in debt. That's the best offer you're going to get.
Michael Scott: I'll see your situation and I'll raise you a situation. Your company is losing clients left and right. You have a stockholder meeting coming up and you are going to have to explain to them why your most profitable branch is bleeding. So they may be looking for a little change in the CFO. So I don't think I need to wait out Dunder Mifflin. I think I just have to wait out you.
David Wallace: Ok now I don't know that I can get this, I do have to go to the board for approval. How's about, sixty-thousand dollars. [pause] Hmm? Sixty thousand. Michael?
[gibberish]
Ryan: We're gonna have to talk about this.
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Michael Scott: Did I ever tell you about the day that Steve Martin died?
Pam Beesly: Steve Martin's not dead, Michael.
Michael Scott: I know. But I always thought, that the day that he died would be the worst day of my life and I was wrong. It's this.
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Ryan: I never went to Thailand.
Pam Beesly: Really?
Michael Scott: I went to Fort Lauderdale
Michael Scott: Was it nice?
Ryan: Yeah "it was amazing." There was a great pad thai place though.
Michael Scott: I love pad thai.
Ryan: You've never had pad thai.
Michael Scott: No. There's a lot I haven't done.
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Ryan: Ever since I've gotten clean there's something about fresh morning air that... just really makes me sick.
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Andy: Hey Boss, uh, I just wanted to point out that I have been here, less time, than these guys.
Charles Miner: Why are you telling me this.
Andy: I just think the bar should be lower for a newbie.
Charles Miner: Is this something you really want to have said?
Andy: I don't want to have said that. But I think it's important that you know it.
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Michael Scott: It's four-thirty in the morning, do you know where your kids are. If you are Ryan's parents or Pam's parents or my parents, you do. They're going to be in this van. With me. Who am I, nothing to fear. I am just a forty-four-year-old guy with a paper route.
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Charles Miner: David, Dwight's been my guy. Ok? Yeah, Jim...
David Wallace: Really? I find that extraordinarily surprising.
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Michael Scott: How much can we afford to pay a delivery guy.
Accountant: Well if these numbers you gave me are correct--
Michael Scott: They are correct sir.
Accountant: --then you can't afford to pay him anything.
Michael Scott: Ok. A lame attempt at humor. A swing and a miss.
Accountant: Your prices are too low.
Michael Scott: Lowest in town!
Accountant: Why do you think Staples and Dunder Mifflin can't match your prices?
Pam Beesly: Corporate greed?
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Pam Beesly: We got the van at a used car lot. We think it says Hallelujah Church of Scranton in Korean. It was either this or an old school bus with an owl living in it.
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Michael Scott: You know what you would love? If we built a loft.
Pam Beesly: Why would I love that? Can we afford a delivery guy?
Michael Scott: Like in a dorm room. You put your desk underneath, you have your loft up top, you can sleep up top.
Pam Beesly: Yeah I know what a loft is.
Ryan: Most dorm rooms don't even have that.
Michael Scott: Most do in the magazines.
Ryan: Let's see what a delivery guy costs.
Michael Scott: We should look into that. Or we just go for the loft.
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Dwight Schrute: [on the phone] Well, Jerry, the one who got away. [pause] May I ask why you're leaving the Michael Scott Paper Company? Really. Please hold. [hangs up the phone]
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Michael Scott: There are certain defining moments in a person's life. The day he's born. The day he grows hair. The day he starts a business and the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin. What have I learned from all of this? It is far to early to tell. All I know is that I'm flying high and I don't even want to think about it. I just want to enjoy it.
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Michael Scott: Time to make the donuts!
9 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons