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I came up with a new thing this summer. I act like I'm telling someone how to do something. I go on with a long description. And then I say, "And shove it up your butt!" It's stupid, but it's my thing now.
Here's what it is, it's a doodle. Some people doodle at work when they let their mind run. They draw houses, penises. Funny how the houses are always colonials and the penises are always circumcised, don't you think? Well, I doodle too, but I'm not an artist so I draw words and lists.
That is fascinating...[Robert erases his list and rewrites] and, by the way, I'm so glad I asked. People were just sort of-- Did you just move my name?
Here's how we find out. Let's line up and compare the lines, see if we learn anything. Ok? Left siders over here, right siders line up over here. Face each other. Match up by height, and relative weight. [everyone lines up] Let's just.. size each other up here, and left side of the list... ATTACK!
Jim your daughter Cecilia, what does she think of the Street?
Uh... the street?
Oh! I didn't know anybody called it--she likes it a lot. She loves Elmo.
Elmo. God save us... the Elmo era. Sesame Street was created to reflect the environment of the children watching it. The complete self-absorption of Elmo is brilliantly reflective of our time. Our's is a cultural ghetto. Wouldn't you agree?
Let me tell you some things I find productive. Positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement. Honesty. I'll tell you some thing I find unproductive. Constantly worrying about where you stand based on inscrutible social cues, and then inevitably reframing it all in a reassuring way so that you can get to sleep at night. No, I do not believe in that at all. If I invited you to lunch, I think you're a winner. If I didn't I don't. But I just met you all. Life is long, opinons change. Winners, prove me right. Losers, prove me wrong.
First item on the agenda: Can I get everyone an extra-long Columbus Day weekend? Item number two: Connect with the guy. Robert California... what does he think of me? Don't know, super care. Number three, time permitting: We lost our biggest client...
I used to be young and cute and sort of funny and, I could do those cute little cartoons and everyone who came through here was like, "who's that receptionist? I like her." Now I'm just a fat mom! Yeah. And you take one look at me and you're like, loser!
Yeah, at first I was really disappointed. But I've got a great daily routine going right now. I've up'ed my karate to eight times a week. I added boxing, lunches in on weekends, I do kick-boxing three times a week, Krav Maga four times a week, an hour of meditation in the morning at sunrise and again at sunset. So yeah! I'm doin' great.
The search committee finally decided after a lot of deliberation on Robert California for the manager position... who took one look around... and left. He drove down to Florida and convinced Jo to make him CEO. CEO. Her own job. He talked her out of her own job and I don't really know how someone does that...
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