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So there I am, minding my own business, and Darnell offers me three bucks. All I gotta do is walk by Andy and go like this. [makes throat cutting gesture] Darnell's a chump. I would've done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less.
So, as it turns out, Donna and I have a Facebook friend of a friend in common, so I was able to see some of her pictures online. This was taken two weeks ago. [photo of Donna and another man] And this, was taken the same night. [Donna kissing that man] This photo was taken this morning. [takes out a photo of her baby] It's Cece. She's never gonna do anything wrong.
Oh, me too! And by the way, uh, I told her not to but she's coming over here and she's furious.
What? No, she didn't say that.
You're right. I was paraphrasing. [pulls out a notepad] What she actually said was, "What is with him. He is crazy. I'm coming over there to talk to him." And this was after I had no other recourse but to tell her, and gym security, that you had sent me there to see if she was cheating. Also, I joined the gym. You'll be billed monthly. [leaves the office]
[on messing with Andy] I don't have a plan exactly. More of a loose structure. Gives me freedom to improvise. It's like jazz. [starts scat singing] "Andy don't mess with me." I'll figure somethin' out.
[to Andy] I talked to Corporate. Turns out there have been twelve reports of faulty printers. Out of four hundred thousand. We've investigated every time it's been user error, they block the vents or something, I donno. It's why we have the fine print. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. So I'd like to award you for that. [flicks a gift card] That's a gift for five bucks at Dunkin' Donuts. Any Dunkin' Donuts.
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