The Office Season 6 Quotes - The Cover Up

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  • Conference Room (2 Comments)
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Creed: So there I am, minding my own business, and Darnell offers me three bucks. All I gotta do is walk by Andy and go like this. [makes throat cutting gesture] Darnell's a chump. I would've done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less.
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[in a spinning class at a gym]
Dwight Shrute: OK everybody let's take this next hill!
Instructor: Excuse me, I'd appreciate it if you just let me run this.
Dwight Shrute: You know what, you had your chance, you're no leader. Up out of your seat let's blast!
Instructor: Don't listen to him we're approaching a cool down, down a gentle hill.
Dwight Shrute: No! The hill's a trap! Let's take the dirt road off to the side.
Instructor: No, guys, we're just cooling down--
Dwight Shrute: If they catch us, they will rape us. Go for the cliff. Now 3-2-1, jump! No! You're dead, you're dead, you're dead. Good jump! You're barely alive. OK, now, nice cool down, check your pulse rate.
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Dwight Shrute: All cases are solved with logic. The only logical way to find out if Donna is a cheater is to seduce her, bring her to orgasm, then call Michael and tell him the sad news.
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Michael Scott: Who is he?
Donna: What--what do you mean?
Michael Scott: Whose the guy? Who is it?
Donna: It's you. I'm married.
Michael Scott: I'm the mistress?
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Jim Halpert: Wow it's a little early for ice cream don't you think?
Michael Scott: It's never too early for ice cream, Jim. But we didn't have any ice cream, so this is mayonnaise and black olives.
Jim and Pam: [scream out of disgust]
Michael Scott: It's comfort food, alright?
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Dwight Shrute: Hey you know an exercise for two people that uses the whole body?
Donna: [chuckles] Yeah, I think I know what you're talking about.
Dwight Shrute: Tractor pull. Too bad there's not a tractor here.
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Michael Scott: I just like you. I can't believe I get to be with you. You work at an adult arcade. You can have any man you want.
Donna: When I tell you I like you, you need to trust me, not some freak.
Michael Scott: If you wanna dump me I totally get it.
Donna: I told you I like you.
Michael Scott: Well you, are bonerific.
Donna: [laughs] Hey, if I said that we should go away for a couple days, you would...
Michael Scott: Poop my pants.
Donna: Have you ever been to Vero Beach?
Michael Scott: Oh my God, Vero Beach! No. Is that on the water?
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Kelly: Oh hey I love your earrings.
Donna: Thank you!
Kelly: Did Michael get them for you?
Donna: No, I bought 'em myself.
Kelly: Where?
Donna: Steamtown Mall.
Kelly: Clares? Zales? Ricky's? Earrings Earrings Earrings? Ritzy Girl? Platinum Cat? Where?
Donna: You know I actually got them in Philadelphia. In a mall down there.
Kelly: Franklin Mills? King of Prussia? Springfield? Governor's Place?
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Pam Halpert: So, as it turns out, Donna and I have a Facebook friend of a friend in common, so I was able to see some of her pictures online. This was taken two weeks ago. [photo of Donna and another man] And this, was taken the same night. [Donna kissing that man] This photo was taken this morning. [takes out a photo of her baby] It's Cece. She's never gonna do anything wrong.
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Dwight Shrute: [at the gym] One thing you need to know about me, I don't quit, until something tears or pops.
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Pam Halpert: Hey Michael. Sorry to interrupt you, um, I actually have something very important to talk to you about! Business related.
Michael Scott: It can wait. It can wait.
Pam Halpert: I lied it's personal. It's about me and Jim we're-- I-- just, you're the only person I can talk to...
Michael Scott: Jim is her husband.
Pam Halpert: And--
Michael Scott: And they're having problems. And so she comes to me.
Pam Halpert: We're not having problems but it is personal and--
Michael Scott: In bed!
Pam Halpert: Yes. Yes, I desperately want to speak with you about my sex life with Jim.
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Darryl: I don't wanna prank anymore. Things get real. It's not funny. I'm just gonna be good, stay in my room, go to church, try to do one nice thing per day. I do not wanna prank, any more.
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Old woman: [at the gym] Young man can you wipe down that seat?
Dwight Shrute: Get out of my way.
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Dwight Shrute: Here's your expenses receipts, right there.
Michael Scott: Who eats eight protein bars?
Dwight Shrute: People who don't trust egg whites.
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Pam Halpert: OK, heart-shaped jewellery is not something a woman buys for herself. A man definitely bought it for her recently. And it wasn't Michael.
Jim Halpert: Wait, sorry. You like heart-shaped jewellery though, right?
Pam Halpert: No. [casually turns back to camera] Except for the pendant, that you bought me! Which I love!
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Michael Scott: You're back. What happened?
Dwight Shrute: Ah, I pulled muscles in both my thighs thanks for asking.
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Michael Scott: Well I am just glad this is all over.
Dwight Shrute: Oh, me too! And by the way, uh, I told her not to but she's coming over here and she's furious.
Michael Scott: What? No, she didn't say that.
Dwight Shrute: You're right. I was paraphrasing. [pulls out a notepad] What she actually said was, "What is with him. He is crazy. I'm coming over there to talk to him." And this was after I had no other recourse but to tell her, and gym security, that you had sent me there to see if she was cheating. Also, I joined the gym. You'll be billed monthly. [leaves the office]
Michael Scott: I am not paying for that membership.
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Darryl: [on messing with Andy] I don't have a plan exactly. More of a loose structure. Gives me freedom to improvise. It's like jazz. [starts scat singing] "Andy don't mess with me." I'll figure somethin' out.
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Gabe: [to Andy] I talked to Corporate. Turns out there have been twelve reports of faulty printers. Out of four hundred thousand. We've investigated every time it's been user error, they block the vents or something, I donno. It's why we have the fine print. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. So I'd like to award you for that. [flicks a gift card] That's a gift for five bucks at Dunkin' Donuts. Any Dunkin' Donuts.
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Michael Scott: You know what, we should really do something fun this week.
Donna: Yeah.
Michael Scott: Wouldn't that be fun?
Donna: Yeah!
2 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons