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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Creed Quotes

Creed Quotes From The Office

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Creed: What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. 'What do I do?' What do I do, I do here. I should have written it down. 'Qua' something. Quaaa. Quarr. Quab. Quall. Qwer. Quobbity! Quobbity assurance!
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Robert California When I was a boy there was an empty house just up the hill from my family’s. It was rumored that a man committed suicide there after being possessed by the Devil. One day a young woman, Lydia, moved into the house with her infant child. That very night Lydia was awakened by a loud, heinous hissing sound, hssss. She walked to the nursery, and there in Baby’s crib there was a snake wrapped around Baby’s neck, squeezing tighter and tighter.
Creed Bratton [aghast] Oh my Goodness!
Robert California The crib was full of dirt, Baby struggled to free itself from underneath, reaching and clawing, gasping for air. Embalmed bodies rose from their sarcophagi, lurching towards Baby… [awkward silence] for they were mummies.
Kevin Malone NO!
Robert California Amongst them was a man. Tall, slim...
Meredith Palmer Jim! Uh!
Robert California Almost instinctively she turned to her husband, ‘Oh, wait,’ she thought, ‘I don’t have a husband.’ For Lydia and her husband had had an argument, one they couldn’t get past. Each night they slept one inch further apart, until one night Lydia left. It was about this time she lost herself in imaginary worlds [Dwight turns off Starcraft]. She had quit the book club, the choir, citing something about their high expectations. Her lips slowly grew together from disuse and every time she wanted to act and didn’t, another part of her face hardened until it was stone. And then the fevered night, she rushed to the nursery, threw open the door. “Baby, are you OK?” Baby sat up slowly, turned to mother and said, “I’m fine, bitch. I’m fine.”
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Michael Scott: [to Meredith] Everyone in this room loves you. But mark my words, we are not going to support your alcoholism anymore. The next time you light yourself on fire, we are not going to help put you out.
Dwight Schrute: Ohhh as fire marshal I would have to.
Michael Scott: Dwight!
Dwight Schrute: She is a hazard to the other people of the office.
Michael Scott: [sighs]
Dwight Schrute: I suppose I could do it if it was a controlled burn in a well ventilated area.
Jim Halpert: Yeah you're going to need a permit for that.
Dwight Schrute: Oh right. That'll take a couple of weeks.
Creed: I could get you one in an hour.
Dwight Schrute: Really?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Creed: These are terrible, boss. You've gotta make them in a circle so they cook evenly.
Michael Scott: They're shaped like paper.
Creed: Well I don't even want these. [unloads pancakes from under jacket]
Meredith: I'll take 'em for my kid.
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Michael Scott: What topics, can you use for small talk?
Andy: Golf, stock market, Dave Matthews--
Michael Scott: Yes, what else?
Creed: Small things. Peas, ball bearings, dimes.
Michael Scott: No.
Meredith: The weekend.
Michael Scott: Yeah! That's good! Come on up, Meredith. Come up here. Let's do a little something. [Meredith gets to the front] So Meredith and I just started conversing, and I will say, "so Meredith, how was your weekend? What did you do?"
Meredith: Well I caught my son taking a dump on the upper-part of the toilet... he calls it an "upper decker."
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Michael Scott: [walks in and Jim announced him and Pam are engaged] What's going on?
Pam Beesly: [over the speakerphone] No, nothing. Nothing, Michael. Just saying hi.
Creed: The tall guy got engaged.
Michael Scott: [to Jim] To be married?!
Jm Halpert: Yep.
[Michael hurls himself at Jim with enough force to knock Jim onto the ground with a thud]
Pam Beesly: Sorry.
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Michael Scott: Do you remember Ed Truck?
Creed: Sure, he hired me. How's he doin'?
Michael Scott: How would I know?
Creed: I thought you might.
Michael Scott: My biggest fear is turning into him.
Creed: Michael, you should have much bigger fears than that.
Michael Scott: I wasn't talking literally, Creed. Yeah, being buried alive would be worse, happy? Why am I talking to you?
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Pam Beesly: Hello, this is... the client.
Creed: It's Creed. FYI I'm starting my own paper company, looking to poach some chumps. You in?
Pam Beesly: Yes.
Creed: [laughing] Cool. Let's keep this on the QT, I don't want you to be a dead mama jama.
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Erin Who's Holly, guys?
Michael Scott That is a good question, Erin. How do you describe somebody who is at the same time an old friend, and was a lover, and was a complicated part of my past, and maybe, just maybe, a part of my future?
Creed She's one sassy black lady.
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Creed: Okay. Team Building. On this side of the room: Stanley, Phylis, Jim, Ted, Elroy. And this side of the room: Pam, Meredith, Phylis, Creed.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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