Creed Quotes From The Office
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| Creed: | I remember it was very late at night, like eleven, eleven-thirty. Big fella comes in, screaming about God knows what. I think maybe Halpert had stolen his car, something like that. So the big fella pulls out a sock filled with nickels, then Schrute, grabs a can of hairspray and a lighter- |
| Angela: | You're useless. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Hello, this is... the client. |
| Creed: | It's Creed. FYI I'm starting my own paper company, looking to poach some chumps. You in? |
| Pam Beesly: | Yes. |
| Creed: | [laughing] Cool. Let's keep this on the QT, I don't want you to be a dead mama jama. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Who's the father? |
| Pam Beesly: | Jim. |
| Dwight Schrute: | How far along? |
| Jim Halpert: | Four months? |
| Creed: | Who's the OB/GYN? |
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| Michael Scott: | Phyllis. |
| Phyllis: | Oh no, they're still not done. |
| Michael Scott: | No no no, let me see. [picks up the mostly knitted mittens] Oh Phyllis, nice try. I love 'em. [waves goodbye to her with the mittens] [Michael begins walking out the office, he takes one last look at all his friends to see them working, and Jim looking back, teary eyed] |
| Creed: | [drinking from Michael's World's Best Boss mug] See ya tomorrow boss! |
| Michael Scott: | Later guys. [leaves the office] |
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| Rose: | Ok. You didn't maintain a hundred beats per minute. And the ambulance didn't arrive because no body called 911. So you lost 'em. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Ok. He's dead. Anyone know what we do next? Anybody? Rose? |
| Rose: | I have no idea. |
| Phyllis: | We bury him. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Wrong. Check for an organ donor card. If he has one we only have minutes to harvest. |
| Creed: | He has no wallet, I checked. |
| Michael Scott: | He is an organ donor. |
| Dwight Schrute: | [excitedly] He is? Give me some ice in a Styrofoam bucket. [removes a hunting knife from his ankle and cuts open the dummy] We search for the organs! [digging around inside] Where's the heart? The precious heart. |
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| Michael Scott: | This is Creed, and he is in charge of... something... right? |
| Creed: | That is correct. |
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| [trying to repack a box] | |
| Oscar: | Did we try printer first? Shredder at an angle? Fax, cable, then the scanner upside down? |
| Pam Beesly: | Yes. |
| Creed: | Have you tried making everything smaller. |
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| Stanley: | Michael don't listen to them. |
| Michael Scott: | Thank you Stanley. |
| Stanley: | You just ignore their carping. |
| Michael Scott: | Ok. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Michael. |
| Michael Scott: | Yes. |
| Dwight Schrute: | A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. They're mocking you with wordplay. |
| Creed: | Hey Boss. Did you "Find Nemo"? |
| Michael Scott: | I could name Pixar movies too. Toy Story! |
| Oscar: | Don't you mean, Coy Story? |
| [everyone laughs] | |
| Phyllis: | And when you fell in, did you Flounder? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Michael, a flounder is both a kind of fish-- |
| Michael Scott: | I know what a flounder is! |
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| Creed: | I feel terrible about Debbie Brown. She got fired 'cuz of Dwight. So I thought I'd pass around a goodbye card, maybe everyone could put in a couple of bucks to help her through these difficult times. Why do bad things always happen to the good people? It's tragic. It's just tragic .[Creed pockets money and throws out card] |
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| Kelly: | Why is there a Chiclet on my cake? |
| Jim Halpert: | That's the best part. That represents a pillow, or a television. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Our theme, if you will,-- |
| Jim Halpert: | Because the fun part is you get to decide on an hour of television or an hour of napping. |
| Dwight Schrute: | That's our theme! |
| Kelly: | [smiling] Cool. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah? |
| Kelly: | I love it. |
| [Dwight and Jim high-five] | |
| Dwight Schrute: | Yes! Ok, so what's it gonna be Kapoor? |
| Kevin: | Ooh! Can she pick a half hour of each? |
| Jim and Dwight: | No. |
| Kevin: | Oh. Then pick tv. |
| Meredith: | Take a nap. |
| Kevin: | Watching tv at work is really cool. |
| Stanley: | Take a nap. Nothing good is on right now. |
| Creed: | Bonnie Hunt is on. |
| Kelly: | I have been watching tv all week, I choose nap. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Ok nap it is! Everyone out! Get out! We're going to be eating cake at our desks! Go go go go go go. |
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| Creed: | What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. 'What do I do?' What do I do, I do here. I should have written it down. 'Qua' something. Quaaa. Quarr. Quab. Quall. Qwer. Quobbity! Quobbity assurance! |