Creed Quotes From The Office

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Creed: A lot of jazz cats are blind. But, they can play the piano like nobody's business. I'd like to put the piano in front of Pam, without her glasses and see what happens. I'd also like to see her topless.
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[from deleted scenes]
[Creed walks over to Phyllis' desk]
Stanley: She's on her honeymoon. She won't be back for six weeks.
Creed: [sits down on her desk] I'll wait.
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Angela: I am proud to announce there is a new addition to the Martin family. She's hypoallergenic, she doesn't struggle when you try to dress her, she's a third generation show-cat, her father was in Meet the Parents. Needless to say she was very, very expensive.
Meredith: How much--
Angela: Seven thousand dollars.
Creed: For a cat? I could get you a kid for that.
Oscar: Where'd you get that kind of money?
Angela: I sold Andy's engagement ring on eBay.
Kevin: Wait-- you didn't give it back?
Angela: He wouldn't have wanted that. Her name, is Princess Lady!
Meredith: Seven grand! I gotta see that little bitch.
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Creed: I hate Devil's Food.
Jim Halpert: Well I think Meredith--
Creed: Screw Meredith! I don't think it's fair to let someone else pick the cake on my birthday.
Jim Halpert: Everybody's birthday.
Creed: Today is actually my birthday and I wanna pick the cake.
Jim Halpert: What do you want?
Creed: Pie. Peach pie.
Jim Halpert: You want a birthday pie?
Creed: I want a nice cobbler.
Jim Halpert: Well I'll talk to Angela and we're gonna see what we can do about a pie.
Creed: I don't care who you talk to just make it happen.
Jim Halpert: It'll be Angela.
Creed: Tell her it's for Creed. She'll know what that means.
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Michael Scott: Cafe Disco is dead but I still hear the music in my head.
Creed: [walking by] I do too, boss.
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Creed: Andrea's the uh, office bitch. You'll get used to her.
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Creed: If I can't scuba then what's this all been about?? What am I working toward?
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Erin: [does a cartwheel] Look guys! I did it!
Creed: Oh f*** you f*** you f*** you!
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Creed: I feel terrible about Debbie Brown. She got fired 'cuz of Dwight. So I thought I'd pass around a goodbye card, maybe everyone could put in a couple of bucks to help her through these difficult times. Why do bad things always happen to the good people? It's tragic. It's just tragic .[Creed pockets money and throws out card]
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Meredith: You know what, don't even worry about it. Everyone was so drunk, I'll bet no one even remembers what you said
Creed: I remember. I blogged the whole thing. www.creedthoughts.gov.www/creedthoughts. Check it out.
[cut to Ryan's talking head]
Ryan: Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed's brain, I opened a word document on his computer and put an address at the top. I've read some of it. Even for the intranet... it's pretty shocking.
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Creed: So there I am, minding my own business, and Darnell offers me three bucks. All I gotta do is walk by Andy and go like this. [makes throat cutting gesture] Darnell's a chump. I would've done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less.
Next Page of Creed quotes
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons