Creed Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: Charlie Horse.
Creed: Why did you hit me, Michael?
Michael Scott: Oh stop.
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Creed: You know a human can go on several hours after being decapitated.
Dwight Schrute: You're thinking of a chicken.
Creed: What'd I say?
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Michael Scott: This is Creed, and he is in charge of... something... right?
Creed: That is correct.
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Ryan: Creed, did you organize the menu book?
Creed: Oh, I thought that was more on a volunteer basis.
Ryan: No, that was mandatory.
Creed: Oh I thought it was a volunteer thing.
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Creed: Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, ten fingers, two nipples, a butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Loch Ness Monster. And the reward for its capture? All the riches in Scotland. So I have one question. Why are you here?
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Andy: Guys, stop everything. I'm about to ask out this girl and I'm completely panicking.
Oscar: [walking away] Oh my desk is over....
Creed: This gal. She's really into you?
Andy: Yeah! Yeah, I mean, I've seen her like three times today and we love all the same music, and whenever I walk into a room she totally looks up...
Creed: Ah ah. Say no more. This is how I got Sqeaky Fromme. No small talk. Just show her who's the boss. Just go right in and kiss her.
Andy: Ok it sounds risky...
Creed: Have I ever steered you wrong, Jim?
Andy: [thinking] Wait what?
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Creed: Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to [holds up passport] Williams Charles Schneider.
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Creed: Boboddy, boboddy. What does the first B stand for?
Pam Beesly: What are we doing?
Creed: We're making acronyms. Okay. What does the first B stand for?
Kevin: Um... Business.
Creed: I... like it!
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Jim Halpert: I am collecting three dollars for everyone for Kelly's party.
Creed: Oh I'd like to contribute.
Jim Halpert: Oh great.
Creed: [takes out a three dollar bill and gives it to Jim]
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[trying to repack a box]
Oscar: Did we try printer first? Shredder at an angle? Fax, cable, then the scanner upside down?
Pam Beesly: Yes.
Creed: Have you tried making everything smaller.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons