Posted: 2571 Quotes from The Office
Creed Quotes from The Office
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| Michael Scott: | Ok, Ryan, you told Toby that Creed has a distinct old man smell. |
| [cut to interview] | |
| Creed: | I know exactly what he's talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious, but they smell like death. |
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| Kevin: | Jim has got it bad for Pam. |
| Creed: | Oooh! ...Which one is Pam? |
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| Creed: | A lot of jazz cats are blind. But, they can play the piano like nobody's business. I'd like to put the piano in front of Pam, without her glasses and see what happens. I'd also like to see her topless. |
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| Michael Scott: | Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief. Since, apparently, it doesn't exist, I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS. |
| Jim Halpert: | Whoa, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan. |
| Michael Scott: | No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS. |
| Phyllis: | Afghani. |
| Michael Scott: | What? |
| Phyllis: | Afghani. |
| Michael Scott: | That's a dog. |
| Pam Beesly: | No, that's Afghan. |
| Michael Scott: | That's a shawl. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Wait, canine AIDS? |
| Michael Scott: | No, humans with AIDS. |
| Creed: | Who has AIDS? |
| Jim Halpert: | Guys, the Afghanistanannis. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay, you know what? No, no. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried. |
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| Michael Scott: | How would that help, Creed? In Monopoly, you go bankrupt, you lose. |
| Creed: | You don't go by Monopoly, man, that game is nuts! Nobody just picks up "get out of jail free" cards. Those things cost thousands! |
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| [Angela picks up her phone] | |
| Angela: | Extension 128. |
| Creed: | Hiya Pumpkin, it's Creed. So we're gonna ditch this bitch. You in? |
| Angela: | No. |
| Creed: | You out? [Angela hangs up] Pumpkin's out! Let's go gang! |
| [Creed, Phyllis and Meredith walk out of the office] |
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| Angela: | What am I supposed to do with two cakes and a pie? |
| Kevin: | Ooh I'll take 'em! |
| Creed: | Well nobody's touching my cobbler. |
| Phyllis: | Hey Michael-- I mean Jim. |
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| Creed: | That's some fun stuff. When's the website go up? |
| Ryan: | As fast as possible. We wanna start retraining people ASAP so we can hit the ground running with the new system. |
| Creed: | Cool beans. |
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| Creed: | Baby. You want to play with this? |
| Karen: | You can't give paper clips to a baby. He could swallow it. |
| Creed: | Oh, it's okay. I've got tons of them. |
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| [from deleted scenes] | |
| Creed: | Back in the '60s, I was with the Grassroots. We toured with Janis Joplin, The Doors, Cream. We had a lot of fun. And now I do quality assurance for a paper company. As you can imagine drugs played a part... They still do... I, uh... My work calls last about 90 seconds and that's about as long as I can concentrate. |
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| Creed: | [translated from Mandarin] To all my friends in China: Hello. |
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