Creed Quotes From The Office
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| [Creed is staring at Pam and her new clothes] | |
| Pam Beasley: | What? |
| Creed: | I'm just looking. |
| Pam Beasley: | Please go back to your desk. |
| Creed: | In a minute. |
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| Creed: | I remember it was very late at night, like eleven, eleven-thirty. Big fella comes in, screaming about God knows what. I think maybe Halpert had stolen his car, something like that. So the big fella pulls out a sock filled with nickels, then Schrute, grabs a can of hairspray and a lighter- |
| Angela: | You're useless. |
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| Kelly: | Yeah your nephew is so lame. |
| Creed: | He's been trashing us relentlessly on Twitter. It's funny stuff, but mean. |
| Jim Halpert: | You follow him on Twitter? |
| [cut to talking head] | |
| Creed: | Everywhere I look it's Betty White this and Betty White that. Finally a kid who's not talking about Betty White. Of course I follow him. |
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| Michael Scott: | How would that help, Creed? In Monopoly, you go bankrupt, you lose. |
| Creed: | You don't go by Monopoly, man, that game is nuts! Nobody just picks up "get out of jail free" cards. Those things cost thousands! |
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| Creed: | I feel terrible about Debbie Brown. She got fired 'cuz of Dwight. So I thought I'd pass around a goodbye card, maybe everyone could put in a couple of bucks to help her through these difficult times. Why do bad things always happen to the good people? It's tragic. It's just tragic .[Creed pockets money and throws out card] |
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| Creed: | Are you listening to what he's saying? Retraining, new system, youth. I'm telling you, this kid is the grim reaper. You deal with this, or you, me, Sammy, Phyllis, the chick you hit with a car... we're goners. |
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| Erin: | [does a cartwheel] Look guys! I did it! |
| Creed: | Oh f*** you f*** you f*** you! |
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| Creed: | Beautiful morning at Dunder MIfflin. Or as I like to call it, Great Bratton. |
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| Rose: | Ok. You didn't maintain a hundred beats per minute. And the ambulance didn't arrive because no body called 911. So you lost 'em. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Ok. He's dead. Anyone know what we do next? Anybody? Rose? |
| Rose: | I have no idea. |
| Phyllis: | We bury him. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Wrong. Check for an organ donor card. If he has one we only have minutes to harvest. |
| Creed: | He has no wallet, I checked. |
| Michael Scott: | He is an organ donor. |
| Dwight Schrute: | [excitedly] He is? Give me some ice in a Styrofoam bucket. [removes a hunting knife from his ankle and cuts open the dummy] We search for the organs! [digging around inside] Where's the heart? The precious heart. |
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| Kevin: | Look at that. She's totally flirting with him. |
| Phyllis: | Hmm you don't know that. Some people can't help oozing sexuality. |
| Creed: | You ever notice you can only ooze two things? Sexuality and puss. Man I tell ya. |
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| Meredith: | You know I once dated a couple guys from Cornell. They were really nice. They gave me a ride home. |
| Andy: | I seriously doubt anyone from Cornell dated you. |
| Creed: | It's pronounced colonel and it's the highest rank in the military. |
| Andy: | It's pronounced Cor-nell! It's the highest rank in the Ivy League! |