Creed Quotes From The Office
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| Michael Scott: | [walks in and Jim announced him and Pam are engaged] What's going on? |
| Pam Beesly: | [over the speakerphone] No, nothing. Nothing, Michael. Just saying hi. |
| Creed: | The tall guy got engaged. |
| Michael Scott: | [to Jim] To be married?! |
| Jm Halpert: | Yep. |
| [Michael hurls himself at Jim with enough force to knock Jim onto the ground with a thud] | |
| Pam Beesly: | Sorry. |
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| Phyllis: | I never see him drink. I never see him eat. |
| Stanley: | I don't think he even uses the bathroom. |
| Creed: | Oh he does. He does. |
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| [from deleted scenes] | |
| [Creed walks over to Phyllis' desk] | |
| Stanley: | She's on her honeymoon. She won't be back for six weeks. |
| Creed: | [sits down on her desk] I'll wait. |
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| Jim Halpert: | [talking head interview] Ever since Pam and I started dating, I just, feel weird asking her to make copies for me. So, I make my own copies. And that copier, sucks. Let me tell you-- but you know what? Pam and I don't have to agree on everything. |
| [cut to office] | |
| Meredith: | Jim, good for you standing up to Pam like that. |
| Creed: | The balls on you, man. |
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| ["Bring my troops home save and sound, says this little girl..."] | |
| Andy: | Ok, honest feedback time. Oscar? |
| Oscar: | It's pandering. And it makes me think you think I'm stupid. |
| Andy: | But do you think it could be famous? Like in a car commercial or something? |
| Pam Halpert: | Not really? It kinda weird, that a grown man is singing from the point of view of a little girl. |
| Andy: | I feel like I could see someone ice skating to it. You know like in the Olympics. |
| Ryan: | [scratching his head] I don't think they usually, skate to such... bad songs. |
| Andy: | Rude! And not helpful. |
| Creed: | Well I really really really really like it. |
| Andy: | Well that... that really bums me out. |
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| Creed: | The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive. Like I did, when I was a homeless man. |
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| Andy: | [coming out of the conference room with Angela] Where's Dwight? |
| Jim Halpert: | You okay man? |
| Andy: | No. Not at all. Actually. But thanks for asking, appreciate it. You know what, I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for lying, to m'ah face! And not telling me what's been going on this entire time. |
| Creed: | [with open arms] You're welcome. |
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| Creed: | You know a human can go on several hours after being decapitated. |
| Dwight Schrute: | You're thinking of a chicken. |
| Creed: | What'd I say? |
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| Robert California | When I was a boy there was an empty house just up the hill from my family’s. It was rumored that a man committed suicide there after being possessed by the Devil. One day a young woman, Lydia, moved into the house with her infant child. That very night Lydia was awakened by a loud, heinous hissing sound, hssss. She walked to the nursery, and there in Baby’s crib there was a snake wrapped around Baby’s neck, squeezing tighter and tighter. |
| Creed Bratton | [aghast] Oh my Goodness! |
| Robert California | The crib was full of dirt, Baby struggled to free itself from underneath, reaching and clawing, gasping for air. Embalmed bodies rose from their sarcophagi, lurching towards Baby… [awkward silence] for they were mummies. |
| Kevin Malone | NO! |
| Robert California | Amongst them was a man. Tall, slim... |
| Meredith Palmer | Jim! Uh! |
| Robert California | Almost instinctively she turned to her husband, ‘Oh, wait,’ she thought, ‘I don’t have a husband.’ For Lydia and her husband had had an argument, one they couldn’t get past. Each night they slept one inch further apart, until one night Lydia left. It was about this time she lost herself in imaginary worlds [Dwight turns off Starcraft]. She had quit the book club, the choir, citing something about their high expectations. Her lips slowly grew together from disuse and every time she wanted to act and didn’t, another part of her face hardened until it was stone. And then the fevered night, she rushed to the nursery, threw open the door. “Baby, are you OK?” Baby sat up slowly, turned to mother and said, “I’m fine, bitch. I’m fine.” |
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| Creed: | These are terrible, boss. You've gotta make them in a circle so they cook evenly. |
| Michael Scott: | They're shaped like paper. |
| Creed: | Well I don't even want these. [unloads pancakes from under jacket] |
| Meredith: | I'll take 'em for my kid. |