Creed Quotes From The Office
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| Creed: | In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing. |
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| [Creed is staring at Pam and her new clothes] | |
| Pam Beasley: | What? |
| Creed: | I'm just looking. |
| Pam Beasley: | Please go back to your desk. |
| Creed: | In a minute. |
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| Jim Halpert: | I am collecting three dollars for everyone for Kelly's party. |
| Creed: | Oh I'd like to contribute. |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh great. |
| Creed: | [takes out a three dollar bill and gives it to Jim] |
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| Kelly: | I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat. And then, after three months I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico. |
| Creed: | That wasn't a tapeworm. |
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| Kevin: | Look at that. She's totally flirting with him. |
| Phyllis: | Hmm you don't know that. Some people can't help oozing sexuality. |
| Creed: | You ever notice you can only ooze two things? Sexuality and puss. Man I tell ya. |
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| [Angela picks up her phone] | |
| Angela: | Extension 128. |
| Creed: | Hiya Pumpkin, it's Creed. So we're gonna ditch this bitch. You in? |
| Angela: | No. |
| Creed: | You out? [Angela hangs up] Pumpkin's out! Let's go gang! |
| [Creed, Phyllis and Meredith walk out of the office] |
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| Michael Scott: | Phyllis. |
| Phyllis: | Oh no, they're still not done. |
| Michael Scott: | No no no, let me see. [picks up the mostly knitted mittens] Oh Phyllis, nice try. I love 'em. [waves goodbye to her with the mittens] [Michael begins walking out the office, he takes one last look at all his friends to see them working, and Jim looking back, teary eyed] |
| Creed: | [drinking from Michael's World's Best Boss mug] See ya tomorrow boss! |
| Michael Scott: | Later guys. [leaves the office] |
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| Michael Scott: | And another thing about the Indian people, they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean look at that. Who's seen that before? |
| Creed: | I have. That's the Union of the Monkey. |
| Meredith: | Ohh, that's what they call it. |
| Kevin: | This is the best meeting we have ever had. |
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| Meredith: | Guys, do we have to stay all day? |
| Phyllis: | I mean Michael's gone can't we just go? |
| Creed: | Yeah and I finished my work months ago. |
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| Michael Scott: | This is Creed, and he is in charge of... something... right? |
| Creed: | That is correct. |
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| Creed: | [phoning in a review of Andy's play] Unfortunately, in this ham-fisted production of Sweeney Todd, the real terror comes from the vocal performances. New paragraph. |
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| Jim Halpert: | He obviously forgot to get me something, and then he went in his closet and dug out this little number [holds up way-too-short sleeves] and then threw it in a bag. |
| Creed Bratton: | [cut to Creed's talking head] Yep. That's exactly what happened. |