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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Creed Quotes

Creed Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: Charlie Horse.
Creed: Why did you hit me, Michael?
Michael Scott: Oh stop.
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Creed: [phoning in a review of Andy's play] Unfortunately, in this ham-fisted production of Sweeney Todd, the real terror comes from the vocal performances. New paragraph.
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[from deleted scenes]
[Creed walks over to Phyllis' desk]
Stanley: She's on her honeymoon. She won't be back for six weeks.
Creed: [sits down on her desk] I'll wait.
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Dwight Schrute: Who's the father?
Pam Beesly: Jim.
Dwight Schrute: How far along?
Jim Halpert: Four months?
Creed: Who's the OB/GYN?
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Oscar Martinez: Hey, where's Dwight?
Jim Halpert: You didn't hear?
Creed Bratton: Decapitated. Whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird.
Jim Halpert: I'm pretty sure none of that's real.
Creed Bratton: YOU'RE NOT REAL, MAN!
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Michael Scott: This is Creed, and he is in charge of... something... right?
Creed: That is correct.
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Meredith: Guys, do we have to stay all day?
Phyllis: I mean Michael's gone can't we just go?
Creed: Yeah and I finished my work months ago.
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Creed: Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, ten fingers, two nipples, a butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Loch Ness Monster. And the reward for its capture? All the riches in Scotland. So I have one question. Why are you here?
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Michael Scott: What topics, can you use for small talk?
Andy: Golf, stock market, Dave Matthews--
Michael Scott: Yes, what else?
Creed: Small things. Peas, ball bearings, dimes.
Michael Scott: No.
Meredith: The weekend.
Michael Scott: Yeah! That's good! Come on up, Meredith. Come up here. Let's do a little something. [Meredith gets to the front] So Meredith and I just started conversing, and I will say, "so Meredith, how was your weekend? What did you do?"
Meredith: Well I caught my son taking a dump on the upper-part of the toilet... he calls it an "upper decker."
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Stanley: Michael don't listen to them.
Michael Scott: Thank you Stanley.
Stanley: You just ignore their carping.
Michael Scott: Ok.
Dwight Schrute: Michael.
Michael Scott: Yes.
Dwight Schrute: A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. They're mocking you with wordplay.
Creed: Hey Boss. Did you "Find Nemo"?
Michael Scott: I could name Pixar movies too. Toy Story!
Oscar: Don't you mean, Coy Story?
[everyone laughs]
Phyllis: And when you fell in, did you Flounder?
Dwight Schrute: Michael, a flounder is both a kind of fish--
Michael Scott: I know what a flounder is!
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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