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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 5 - The Michael Scott Paper Company

The Office Season 5 Quotes - The Michael Scott Paper Company

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  • Conference Room (9 Comments)
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28
likes
Michael Scott: [on his cell phone] They're getting on my nerves, mom. R thinks he's too good to be here and P is not as much fun without Jim.
Pam Beesly: Michael we can hear you.
Michael Scott: I'm on the phone! Please. Mom I'm gonna have to call you back. P is being a giant B.
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27
likes
Dwight Schrute: Listen. When I saw you talking to Erin earlier, I noticed that your pupils dilated and your skin flushed and I'm assuming, a little bit of blood rushed into your penis. [Andy says nothing] Well, a little bit of blood rushed into mine as well, so where does that leave us?
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18
likes
Michael Scott: [drives up listening to Just Dance by Lady Gaga] It's Britney bitch. And I am back, in the form of a new company, the Michael Scott Paper Company.
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18
likes
Charles Miner: Hey Kelly?
[Kelly Kapour runs into the conference room]
Kelly: Yes, Charles, you wanted me.
Charles Miner: Oh, no, I meant that Kelly.
[cut to talking head]
Jim Halpert: The new receptionist is also named Kelly. So Kelly Kapour has decided to hover around my desk so that she can run into Charles' office every time he calls for Kelly. She thinks that if she says "you wanted me" enough he will in fact want her. It's not the worst plan shes ever had.
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14
likes
Jim Halpert: Hey, dude. Do you know what a rundown is?
Oscar: Use it in a sentence.
Jim Halpert: Uh... can you get this rundown for me?
Oscar: Try another sentence.
Jim Halpert: This rundown better be really good?
Oscar: I don't know but it sounds like the rundown's really important.
Jim Halpert: Charles asked me to do this rundown of all my clients.
Oscar: Why don't you just ask him, what--
Jim Halpert: No, I can't it was like hours ago.
Oscar: What have you been doing?!
Kevin: Try another sentence.
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12
likes
Kelly: Well you know what my middle name is. Rajini Ghanda and I hate it! I hate it!
Kevin: I thought Rajini Ghanda was a boy's name.
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11
likes
Creed: These are terrible, boss. You've gotta make them in a circle so they cook evenly.
Michael Scott: They're shaped like paper.
Creed: Well I don't even want these. [unloads pancakes from under jacket]
Meredith: I'll take 'em for my kid.
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9
likes
Pam Beesly: I make that one copy and I become the girl who makes copies. And by the end of the day I'm the receptionist again. And the worst part is, I like making copies. The paper comes out all warm and stuff. And it's cold in there! Because it's technically a closet.
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9
likes
Michael Scott: Maybe the Michael Scott Paper Company... was a huge mistake. I should leave, I should go, and start my own paper company. That'll show 'em.
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8
likes
Ryan Howard: [on his cellphone] You should come on down this weekend man. Yeah. We'll hang out Scranton style.
Michael Scott: Hey, you said you're gonna be out of town this weekend.
Ryan Howard: Please don't listen to my phone calls. [back to the phone] Yeah. She'd probably be a six in New York but she's like a seven here, in Scranton. And then, uh, the boss is my old boss from Dunder Mifflin. It's a small space.
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8
likes
Pam Beesly: Seriously? This is what's so important, putting naked pictures on the desktop.
Ryan Howard: That's me and my friend Jasmine from Thailand.
Pam Beesly: I don't wanna look at your friend's boobs all day.
Ryan Howard: You could be hot too if you made any effort, at all.
Pam Beesly: Like how? Dying my hair blond?
Ryan Howard: This is from the sun.
Pam Beesly: Oh yeah I bet.
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8
likes
Ryan: [off screen] I wish my iPod could make phone calls. No I don't want an iPhone I know what an iPhone is.
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7
likes
Dwight Schrute: Yes. I am taking Andy hunting after work. Not long ago we were sexual competitors. I used to hate him hate him hate him, hate him. I studied him, to figure out why I hated him so much. But that blossomed into a very real friendship, as these things often do.
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6
likes
Michael Scott: I donno I think I have done absolutely everything you can do to prepare for the day. I've updated our contacts, I have gotten quotes from supplies, I have sent out an e-vite, for our big, grand opening pancake luncheon. Six yes's, one maybe, only eleven no's. And seven hundred and eighty-eight not-yet-replied's but! Of that group, seven hundred and eighty-two have viewed it.
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6
likes
Ryan Howard: It's like, I could run GM but, I couldn't fix a car. It's not saying that one is better than the other.
Pam Beesly: Seriously? Because it sounds like one of those is better than the other.
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6
likes
Michael Scott: 1-2-3 what are we gonna do!
Pam Beesly: Corner idea...
Michael Scott: No-- you're supposed to say, "rock the house!"
Ryan: Rock the house!
Pam Beesly: How would we know that?
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6
likes
Michael Scott: I once had a dream. That I was eating a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich. And, lemme tell you something it was delicious. [phone starts ringing] So the next day, I decided to make that sandwich. And in real life it is disgusting. It is a disgusting sandwich. And the reason I tell you this story-- pick up the phone, just--
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5
likes
Dwight Schrute: You know there's a ghost in this office.
Erin: Really?
Dwight Schrute: A woman was murdered on this very floor in 1816. Haddy McGonigal. She was a prostitute.
Erin: Why was she in this building?
Dwight Schrute: No, in this whole place used to be a brothel. There was a tavern on the ground floor.
Erin: That's crazy.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah, isn't it? She was bludgeoned to death by the business end of a riding crop
Erin: Oh my God.
Dwight Schrute: Oh it was gruesome. They say she walks these hallways. If you ever feel a tapping on your shoulder, that could be Haddy, begging for her life. And it could mean, you're next. [taps on her shoulder]
Erin: Oh! [they both laugh]
Dwight Schrute: Just kidding. You finding everything ok?
Erin: Yeah. Just got some ice. [starts walking away]
Dwight Schrute: Erinnnnnnnn. Erinnnnn.
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5
likes
[hearing Toby in the washroom, through the vent]
Toby: Not much, what's up with you? Nah it's ok, I'm in the bathroom. Hey have you been watching Damages this year? It's so good! No you gotta tune it, it's as good as anything on HBO. [starts urinating...] Hey does blue go with tan?
Michael Scott: Somebody just make the copy?
Toby: Like a- like a blue shirt. I don't wear a lot of color so I have a lot of tan. Uh huh...
Michael Scott: Just make the copy ok?
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4
likes
[Andy walks in wearing a hunter's outfit]
Andy: What do you think?
Dwight Schrute: Let me check [looks through hunting rifle scope] Ohh, nope! Clearly a hunter... who knows how to throw an outfit together.
Andy: Thank you.
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4
likes
Michael Scott: They always say that is a mistake to hire your friends. And they are right. So, I hired my best friends. And this is what I get!?
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4
likes
Andy: The last thing I wanna do, is step on your funk, man.
Dwight Schrute: And I, yours. So I will seed her, to you.
Andy: No that's ridiculous.
Dwight Schrute: No no no.
Andy: Look. You've been longer and besides I'm a better wing man than a boyfriend so--
Dwight Schrute: And I just want you and I to hang out, you know? Just--
[Dwight and Andy fist-palm each other]
Andy: Boom!
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4
likes
Michael Scott: You sort of disappeared there for a while. Where you been?
Pam Beesly: Yeah I needed to take care of some stuff.
Michael Scott: Yeah?
Pam Beesly: That's as specific as I'd like to be.
Michael Scott: Well at least you're still being honest with me.
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4
likes
Pam Beesly: We're small, but we're eager to make a name for ourselves.
Man: Do you have a card?
Pam Beesly: [pause] No, I don't have a card, but I'll do you one better. A little scrap of paper [tears off a corner of paper]
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4
likes
Michael Scott: Who would've thought, that the thing that would save this company would be work. And pancakes. In the end, this day definitely had its ups and downs. I realized that we don't have the biggest office, which is a surprise, because 165 square feet sounds like a lot, but we have people with the biggest hearts and I think for a small company, that is really-- [toilet flushes] someone went to the bathroom... that is really what's important.
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3
likes
Jim Halpert: When did you need that rundown by?
Charles Miner: As soon as possible. Just get it right.
Jim Halpert: Yeah. Gotcha. 'Course. I'm gonna dive in. To the rundown. I'll be exhausted 'cause it's like a triathlon. Did you wanna close this? [holding on to the door] Clos-- we'll keep it--...
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3
likes
Pam Beesly: We could work from home.
Ryan: Or you could fire one of us. Whoever has less education.
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3
likes
Michael Scott: You know what? I had fun at prom. [pause] And no one said yes to that either.
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1
like
Michael Scott: This is a dream that I've had...since lunch...and I'm not giving it up now.
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0
likes
Michael Scott: Hey, Stanley...
Stanley Hudson: Can't you see I'm urinating?
9 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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