The Office Season 6 Quotes - Secretarys Day
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| Andy: | It's Secretary's Day. And, it is Erin and mine's three week anniversary. So, perfect storm! For a romanic gesture. Wanted the whole office to remember it's Secretary's Day. I sent an email blast, a text blast. A good old fashioned talk blast. I sent a snail mail blast a week ago. And, a stern reminder via fax at seven o'clock this morning. So people better step up. And appreciate the crap out of Erin. I do. If it wasn't for secretaries, I wouldn't have a step-mom. |
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| Erin: | And then, my last job was at a Taco Bell Express. But then it became a full-time Taco Bell and... I donno. I couldn't keep up. |
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| Kevin: | They're making fun of Cookie Monster. I get that. But in a strange way, it feels like they're making fun of me. |
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| [Pam sits at her desk and finds her plant dead] | |
| Pam Halpert: | [to Jim, disappointed] Couldn't have watered it? |
| Jim Halpert: | I literally did not know that existed, until this moment. |
| Dwight Shrute: | Well I knew it existed, and I chose to let it die. |
| Pam Halpert: | It's nice to see you again Dwight. |
| Dwight Shrute: | Hello Pam. |
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| [Erin covers her face with her hair] | |
| Michael Scott: | What are you doin'? What are you doing. |
| Erin: | In the foster home my hair was my room. [starts yelling under her hair] |
| Michael Scott: | Ok, ok. You know what? You know what? Everybody's looking at you now. [yelling] I'll have what she's having! |
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| [Pam clutching her chest in pain] | |
| Jim Halpert: | What's up? |
| Dwight Shrute: | Hey milk is coming in she's getting uncomfortable. |
| Jim Halpert: | Dwight don't be gross. |
| Pam Halpert: | No, no he's right. |
| Dwight Shrute: | Same things happens to my cows if I don't tend them frequently enough. You gotta milk 'em. Or else they'll moo like crazy. |
| Pam Halpert: | That's weird my breast pump's missing. [to Jim] Have you seen my breast pump? |
| Dwight Shrute: | [taking off his suit jacket and pumping hand sanitizer] Ok, this is going to traumatize me a hell of a lot more than you believe me. |
| Pam Halpert: | You know what Dwight? Let me just check the bathroom first. 'K? |
| Dwight Shrute: | Really? Fine. Let your breasts explode. Three squeezes, and I would drain you. |
| Pam Halpert: | Mmmm. |
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| Pam Halpert: | Hey. You know, um, I was engaged before Jim. |
| Erin: | Really. |
| Pam Halpert: | Yeah. And he worked here, too. |
| Erin: | It was Andy wasn't it. |
| Pam Halpert: | No, no it wasn't Andy. It wasn't. It doesn't matter. It's not about who you've been with. It's about who you end up with. Sometimes the heart doesn't know what it wants until it finds what it wants. |
| Erin: | I hope you find what you're looking for. |
| Pam Halpert: | [dumbstruck] Thank you. |
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| Pam Halpert: | [checking the washroom for her breast pump] Meredith! |
| Meredith: | I just like the way it feels! |
| Pam Halpert: | What are you doing! |
| Meredith: | Relax. |
| Pam Halpert: | Relax!? |
| Meredith: | This is like the Cadillac of pumps. |
| Pam Halpert: | Give it back to me now! |
| Meredith: | I was just--I was warming it up. |
| Pam Halpert: | That's--it's disgusting! |
| Meredith: | It's not a big deal. |
| Pam Halpert: | It's not sterile! |
| Meredith: | We're both girls who cares. |
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| Michael Scott: | Would you mind if I listened to my book on tape? Kind of a bookworm. It is a novelization of the movie Precious, based on the book Push by Sapphire. |
| Erin: | I, was thinking it would be fun to talk on the way over. What decade would you have chosen to be a teenager? |
| Michael Scott: | [thinking] I donno! |
| Erin: | I would choose the 1490's. |
| Michael Scott: | Ah!... |
| Erin: | Because America, was discovered. |
| Michael Scott: | Right... |
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| [showing Gabe the Cookie Monster video] | |
| Gabe: | This is violent and offensive. |
| Kevin: | Thank you. It really makes me self-concious about my voice. |
| Gabe: | It's awful [offers Kevin a tissue] |
| Kevin: | I'm not crying. |
| Gabe: | There's some food on your face. |
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| Erin: | My favorite part about being a receptionist is that I get to have my own desk. My foster home never had a desk. So it's like a--I don't mean I don't like my foster home. I did like it I just, didn't have a desk there. Did you have a favorite age? Or, month? |
| Michael Scott: | [baffled] An age or month? |
| Erin: | Yeah like a favorite month. Like I like April when I was seven. |
| [cut to talking head] | |
| Michael Scott: | I've been trying. I've been trying to keep it going. [long pause] Erin is just, weird. |
| [cut back to lunch] | |
| Erin: | How many pillows do you sleep on at night? |
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| Kelly: | [imitating Cookie Monster] My name is Kevin I'm an accountant. See? I did the voice! |
| Ryan: | It's a little derivative. |
| Kelly: | But parody's always derivative. |
| Ryan: | It's not organic. Do you know what I mean? |
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| Michael Scott: | You know what, I resent the implication that I would keep that secret. Everyone here knows that I can't and won't keep a secret. |
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| Dwight Shrute: | Prideful idiots. Watch how it's done. [walks up to Gabe] Gabriel. I apologize. |
| Gabe: | Great. |
| Dwight Shrute: | I kneel before you. |
| Gabe: | [to Jim and Pam walking out] Guys, I would even take a contrite look as an apology. |
| Dwight Shrute: | Humbly taking your hand, upon which I kiss to show my contrition. |
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| Kevin: | [imitating Gabe] Uh guys, uh, I'm not going to a-pologize for the mess we're in. Uh, because corporate told me to. [everyone laughs] I just want you to know that I laugh like a crazy person. Ho ho ho! |
| Gabe: | You gotta be able--you gotta be able to laugh at yourself. One of the gang! Yeah. |
| Dwight Shrute: | [imitating Gabe] I have to back to the zoo to the stick insect exhibit. |
| Kevin: | Yeah! Oh, oh "ciao". Ciao. I say ciao because I'm fancy from Tallahassee. |
| Gabe: | Why don't we say ciao to the impressions. |
| Everyone: | Ciao! |
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| [watching the video of Kevin as Cookie Monster from Sesame Street] | |
| Dwight Shrute: | That is an amusing link. I'd like it sent to me please. [walks off] |
| [agreement from the rest of the office] | |
| Kevin: | Angela, this is inappropriate. |
| Angela: | This is my favorite day. |
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| Gabe: | I should probably get involved in this but, I think my energy is better spent on the Cookie Monster issue. |
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| Andy: | Why would that be something you would talk about on Secretary's Day? |
| Michael Scott: | Andy, she's not the easiest person in the world to have a conversation with. Alright? And besides, who doesn't tell their girlfriend that they were engaged to someone who works four feet away from them? That's like--that's--that's like Mr. and Mrs. Smith crap. |
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| Angela: | You embarrassed me earlier. |
| Erin: | Take it up with the chief of police. |
| Angela: | Do you think I want people remembering I had sensual relations with Andy? It's the kind of thing you wish you could have annulled. I want to throw up just thinking about it. |
| Erin: | I want to think about it just thinking about it! |
| Angela: | You are throwing up for the wrong reasons. |
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| Dwight Shrute: | Why is everyone clumped around accounting? Break it up you clique! |
| Ryan: | It's Kevin as Cookie Monster from Sesame Street. |
| Dwight Shrute: | Is that the program where all those puppets live in the barrio? |
| Phyllis: | Mhm. |
| Dwight Shrute: | I love that show. |
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| Pam Halpert: | [imitating Kevin as Cookie Monster] Hey. Erin. You look delicious--I mean...beautiful! |
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