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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Dwight Schrute Quotes

Dwight Schrute Quotes From The Office

Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Dwight Schrute: Hi, Linda. Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager. You might remember testing my urine a few years back when I was applying to be a volunteer sheriff's deputy.
Linda: We test a lot of urine.
Dwight Schrute: Mine was green.
Linda: Oh, right. How are you?
Dwight Schrute: I'm all better.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Dwight Schrute: I just want to say for the record I did not kill anyone. Stanley was attacked by his own heart. And he should be released from the hospital and back to the office in a couple of days!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Dwight Schrute: Question, is there fire wood on the island?
Jim Halpert: I guess.
Dwight Schrute: Then I would bring an ax, no books.<b>
Jim Halpert: It has to be a book Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: Fine, Physician's Desk Reference-
Jim Halpert: Nice, smart.
Dwight Schrute: ...hollowed out, inside-waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket and, in case I get bored, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. No, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Question, did my shoes come off in the plane crash?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Dwight Schrute: Maybe we should just skip the ceremony and set up a college fund for Meredith's son.
Michael Scott: Have you met that kid? Not going to college.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Dwight Schrute: In the Schrute family, we have a tradition where when the male has sex with another woman, he is rewarded with a bag of wild oats left on his doorstep by his parents. You can use those oats to make oatmeal, bread, whatever you want, I don't care. They're your oats.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Dwight Schrute: Michael always says, 'K-I-S-S, keep it simple, stupid.' Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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[Dwight's immitating Jim]
Dwight Schrute: I'm Jim Halpert.
Jim Halpert: Spot on.
Dwight Schrute: Yuhh, little comment, mmmh.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Dwight Schrute: Ok that is not an eight foot sub.
Delivery guy: Ah we don't make an eight foot sub. This is eight one foot subs.
Dwight Schrute: F.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Dwight Schrute: Did I want to be made manager? Sure. A great opportunity squandered? Absolutely. A crushing blow? Yes. Will I get over it? ...No. But life goes on... not for me.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Dwight Schrute: I wonder if King sized sheets are called 'Presidential' in England... I really should have a Tweeter account, shouldn't I?
Jim Halpert: Yes, you should.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Dwight Schrute: [to Michael's costume head] QUIET YOU!
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Michael Scott: I know 'grumble grumble', but you would follow me to the ends of the earth grumblin' all the way. Just like that uh dwarf from Lord of the Rings.
Dwight Schrute: Gimli.
Michael Scott: NERD. That is why you're not on the team.
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