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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Dwight Schrute Quotes

Dwight Schrute Quotes From The Office

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Dwight Schrute: [running into the office while dressing] Everything's okay! I'm here!
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Dwight Schrute: Hello!
Jan: What are you doing here?
Dwight Schrute: We came here to eat dinner and to party. This is a dinner party right?
Pam Beesly: Awesome!
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Jim Halpert: You look cute today, Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: Thanks, girl.
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Dwight Schrute Yeah, at first I was really disappointed. But I've got a great daily routine going right now. I've up'ed my karate to eight times a week. I added boxing, lunches in on weekends, I do kick-boxing three times a week, Krav Maga four times a week, an hour of meditation in the morning at sunrise and again at sunset. So yeah! I'm doin' great.
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Dwight Schrute: Hi there Dwight Schrute here. I was just calling to see if Michael Scott Paper was meeting all of your paper needs. [turning over business card] And how is "Brenda age four, ponytail and Simon age seven"? [laughing] Oh! You don't say!
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Jim Halpert: You're talking to Dwight Schrute, the biggest Wonka fan I know. I mean you've been talking about that movie for years.
Michael Scott: What?
Jim Halpert: You know what I even made fun of you when you dressed up as Willy Wonka to pitch this idea and for that I apologize.
Dwight Schrute: Apology rejected.
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Dwight Schrute: Jan had the baby, and Michael wasn't there to mark it. So the baby could be anybody's. Except Michael's.
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[Dwight comes in dressed as Jim]
Pam Beesly: Hey Dwight. You look really nice today.
Dwight Schrute: Pssh. I look like an idiot. Hey Karen.
Karen: Hey, Dwight. Lookin' sharp.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah that's because I'm your boyfriend Jim Halpert. Hey Karen, wanna get together later and sexual intercourse 'cuz you're my girlfriend.
Jim Halpert: Do you?
Karen: No. I'm good, thanks.
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[at Schrute Farms]
Andy: [steps in cow manure] Darn!
Dwight Schrute: There's a hose out back.
Andy: Okay.
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Dwight Schrute: Phyllis, someone let the air out of your tires. Come quick.
Phyllis: Oh dear.
[cut to shot of Phyllis' deflated tires]
Dwight Schrute: I had to get your attention, this is an emergency.
Phyllis: Why couldn't have just said it, why did you actually do it?
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Dwight Schrute: [to phone] Phillip, if you're hearing this memo, that can only mean one thing, I'm dead. You are the rightful heir to Schrute Farms. Please, you must do one thing. Kill Mose before he kills you. [presses button] Mose, hey, it's Dwight. Listen, yeah, I just want to give you a heads-up.
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Jim Halpert: [Everyone laughing] Oh no sorry, it's an inside joke. There's this bartender in Stamford who uh, [chuckles], you know what, you just have to be there.
Michael Scott: I wish I was. I love inside jokes...I'd love to be a part of one someday [long awkward pause]
Josh: [looking at his watch] Um, we should...
Jim Halpert: Yeah.
Michael Scott: Alright! See you guys down there. Change your mind, come back up.
Dwight Schrute: I'll do a shot with you Michael.
Michael Scott: Ugh! Don't be gross. It's not even lunch yet.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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