Warning: session_start(): open(/home/office/public_html/tmp/sess_6049c17bf43f2e78537229bbc2681bfc, O_RDWR) failed: Permission denied (13) in /home/office/public_html/index.php on line 9
The Office Quotes (NBC) | Dwight Schrute Quotes

Dwight Schrute Quotes From The Office

Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
2
likes
Dwight Schrute: Always the padawan, never the jedi...
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
11
likes
Dwight Schrute: Lex Luther said it best when he said, 'Dad, you have no idea what I'm capable of.'
Michael Scott: Is that from Superman?
Dwight Schrute: Smallville. And that's why I should get a raise.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
58
likes
Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief. Since, apparently, it doesn't exist, I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim Halpert: Whoa, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.
Michael Scott: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael Scott: What?
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael Scott: That's a dog.
Pam Beasley: No, that's Afghan.
Michael Scott: That's a shawl.
Dwight Schrute: Wait, canine AIDS?
Michael Scott: No, humans with AIDS.
Creed: Who has AIDS?
Jim Halpert: Guys, the Afghanistanannis.
Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? No, no. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
35
likes
Dwight Schrute: I don't have a lot experience with vampires, but I have hunted warewolves. I shot one once. But by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
8
likes
Dwight Schrute: You needed to speak to me?
Charles Miner: Dwight, take a seat.
Dwight Schrute: I prefer to stand. Less blood clots.
Charles Miner: Naw. That's weird. You can just sit.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
22
likes
Dwight Schrute: [on the phone] Cumberland Mills? And how did you get my resume? Oh no no, I''m flattered, don't get me wrong. I''m just not sure it's my official resume, or if its just something a satisfied customer posted online. What does it say under martial arts training? Oh... okay, I''m going to have to supplement that. What''s your fax number?
[later]
Dwight Schrute: So you got the fax? So why didn't you add it to the resume? What do you mean? Of course martial arts training is relevant. Uh excuse me, I know about a billion Asians who would beg to differ! Uh yeah, I get a little frustrated when I''m dealing with incompetence! Well you know what? You can go to hell too, and I''ll see you there. BURNING. FINE. Oh wait, so you'll let me know when you made a decision? [other end hangs up]
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
8
likes
David Wallace: Enough. Please. Enough. Is this true?
Dwight Schrute: Yes it's Michael's idea that he force on me on threat of death!
Michael Scott: Thank you!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
26
likes
Dwight Schrute: A thirty year mortgage at Michael's age essentially means that he's buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls... so you couldn't hear the other dead people.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
12
likes
Pam Beesly I think we're good friends. Remember your concussion?
Dwight Schrute I do, but you married my worst enemy.
Pam Beesly I know...
Jim Halpert Well, I think "enemy" is a strong word, because I think we have a really charming back and forth.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
0
likes
Dwight Schrute [Actually in the "Fundraiser episode] [Dwight storms in office] I don't want to alarm people but there is a distinct chance that we're all about to be killed!
Jim Halpert Well as long as you don't want to alarm people.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
8
likes
Dwight Schrute: [reading email] "I'm sure you've seen the item in the Journal. I just want to stress that it's all conjecture, if we have any concrete information, you will know ASAP."
Michael Scott: Erin, do we have the journal?
Erin: Your feelings journal? You told me to put it in the time capsule.
Michael Scott: Did you?
Pam Beesly: He means the Wall Street Journal, online.
Michael Scott: Oh, the Wall.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
2
likes
[walking into Dwight's first gym]
Dwight Schrute: Ready? What do you think? Huh?
Darryl: Uh. No. This is not a gym. This is like a scene out of Saw 5.
Next Page of Dwight Schrute quotes
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

Warning: Unknown: open(/home/office/public_html/tmp/sess_6049c17bf43f2e78537229bbc2681bfc, O_RDWR) failed: Permission denied (13) in Unknown on line 0

Warning: Unknown: Failed to write session data (files). Please verify that the current setting of session.save_path is correct (/home/office/public_html/tmp) in Unknown on line 0