Dwight Schrute Quotes From The Office

Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
16
likes
Dwight Schrute: You like candy?
Angela: It's alright.
Dwight Schrute: 'Cause you're sweeter than candy.
Angela: What's wrong with you?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
13
likes
Andy Bernard: Oh. By the way, 1985 called and it wants its car back.
Dwight Schrute: Well I hope 1985 has a time machine because I drive an '87.
Andy Bernard: Oh, speaking of time machines, I just got back from the future and I went to your funeral and guess what. Nobody came.
Dwight Schrute: Speaking of funerals, why don't you go ahead and go die.
Andy Bernard: Oh, that was a really well constructed sentence. You should be an English professor at Cor-not University.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
4
likes
Dwight Schrute Of all feelings to base a TV show on: Glee. "Thirst". Now that's a show I'd watch.
Angela [thinks] I'd watch that.
Dwight Schrute ...Tonight would be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
16
likes
Bartender: Here you go.
Dwight Schrute: Wait a minute what is this? I didn't order this.
Bartender: For you. [points to basketball players] From them.
Dwight Schrute: Oh. [pours out the drink]
Ryan's friend: What are you doing man?
Dwight Schrute: Not safe. Anything could've been in there. [to the girls] Nice try!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
59
likes
Dwight Schrute: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
1
likes
Ryan Howard: Dwight! How's the beet farm?! [turning to his friend] This guy has his very own beet farm. It's awesome!
Dwight Schrute: Well, it's weeble season...
Ryan Howard: I don't know what that means but it sounds awesome!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
7
likes
Michael Scott: You'll never guess what I know.
Dwight Schrute: [typing] Ok. Let me finish this thought.
Michael Scott: Eric likes Megan!
Dwight Schrute: [still typing] He most definitely does. He's been asking her out repeatedly for weeks. She finally said yes. They went on a group date the other night, apparently it went very well.
Michael Scott: How do you know this?
Dwight Schrute: People tell me things. I guess I have a face you can trust. I think it's because of my low cheekbones. [finishes typing] Ok, what is it? What can't I guess??
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
1
likes
Dwight Schrute: Hey! We nailed the sale! [holds hand up for a high five]
Michael Scott: Where were you this morning?
Dwight Schrute: I overslept. Damn rooster didn't crow.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
10
likes
Dwight Schrute: Mose is my cousin, and he lives here. He will always be my best friend. Unless things go well with Ryan today in which case I won't hang out with Mose so much anymore.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
20
likes
Dwight Schrute: Michael and I have a very special connection. He's like Batman, I'm like Robin. He's like The Lone Ranger and I'm like Tonto. And it's not like there was The Lone Ranger and Tonto and Bonto.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
12
likes
Dwight Schrute: Do you have the sharpie!
Michael Scott: Yes, I do!
Dwight Schrute: Ok. When the baby emerges, mark it secretly in a kind of a mark that only you could recognize and no baby snatcher could ever copy.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
23
likes
Dwight Schrute: I hope the war goes on for ever and that Ryan gets drafted.
Next Page of Dwight Schrute quotes
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons