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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Dwight Schrute Quotes

Dwight Schrute Quotes From The Office

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Dwight Schrute: You snubbed her.
Jim Halpert: Dwight please.
Dwight Schrute: Let me handle this Jim. [aggressively] Drop the act, Cordrea. Ok? [Pam walks in behind Dwight] We all know, that you probably thought, that Pam was too, "Meh." Or "too thin without being toned." But I wanna tell you something. She is one of the plain, hearty women of Scranton that make this city great. And so what if she doesn't wear makeup! [Pam mouths "I wear makeup..."] We like her better that way! And you steal clients, don't you. Don't you! [gets in Danny's face]
Danny: That's different.
Dwight Schrute: Ohh that's different. Is it? Ok. Thief! Better check your things people--In fact where are my keys? [checks pocket] Oh. They're in my pocket. False alarm.
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Meredith: [condescendingly] You don't take my clients away and give them to a secretary. [to Jim] No offense, Jim, I think she's very pretty.
Dwight Schrute: Her face is okay, but-
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Dwight Schrute: I invented a decide, called Burger on the Go. It allows you to obtain six regular sized hamburgers, or twelve sliders, from a horse without killing the animal. George Foreman is still considering it, Sharper Image is still considering it, SkyMall is still considering it, Hammacher Schlemmer is still considering it. Sears said no.
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Michael Scott: Ummm this one says Chair Model?
Dwight Schrute: I wrote that. Michael, you shouldn't have to settle. This is my pledge to you. I will find her, and I will bring her to you. And as God as my witness, she shall bare your fruit.
Michael Scott: [smiling] That sounds good. Go get 'er. W-w-w-wait-- First, go to Wendy's get my food, come back and then go.
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Angela: Please and thank you go a long way.
Dwight Schrute: Copy. [doubles back] Thank you.
Angela: Thank YOU.
Dwight Schrute: [smiles] Please.
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Andy Bernard: I saw your dork-mobile in the parking lot. What's it get? Like four miles to the gallon?
Dwight Schrute: Uh, try double that. Classic Trans Am Vintage American muscle.
Andy Bernard: Uh huh yeah my Xterra's pretty sweet. Luxurious yet rugged. Leave it to the Japanese.
Dwight Schrute: Xterra's not even a real word.
Andy Bernard: Actually it is. It's Latin for Earth.
Dwight Schrute: Oh, so you drive an ex-Earth?
Andy Bernard: Yeah.
Dwight Schrute: That makes sense. I'd rather drive a classic Trans Am than an ex-Earth.
Andy Bernard: Yeah. I bet you would.
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Michael Scott: It's after midnight! You're married!
Dwight Schrute: He's married!!
Jim Halpert: That's not how that works.
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Jim Halpert: Was that your mom?
Dwight Schrute: No, that was my sensei.
Jim Halpert: Oh, I thought that was your mom.
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Dwight Schrute: Ah ha!
Kelly: Oh my God, what is wrong with you?
Dwight Schrute: Gotcha! Why are you late?
Kelly: It's none of your business actually. It's very medical and personal.
Dwight Schrute: Alright. You stop me when I've reached the diseased area.
[Points his finger from her foot and slowly up to her stomach, waiting for her to say something]
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[reading Michael's screenplay]
Jim Halpert: Catherine Zeta-Jones enters.
Phyllis: Sir you have some messages.
Dwight Schrute: Not now!
Phyllis: They're important.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, what are they?
Phyllis: The first message is, 'I love you.' That's from me.
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Dwight Schrute: [singing and dancing] You are getting this raise! I deserve this raise! Yes! Yeah! Why are you going to give me this raise? Why! BECAUSE I AM AWESOME! I AM AWESOME!
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Dwight Schrute: This is oil, from the gland of an otter. Keeps their fur water resistant, as well as traps heat. Now I need you to lie still for an hour.
Phyllis: An hour? I can't stay here an hour. [starts to get up]
Dwight Schrute: Oh whoa whoa girl. Whoaaa. Whhhhoa.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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