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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Dwight Schrute Quotes

Dwight Schrute Quotes From The Office

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[all are in the conference room for Michael's party. Michael isn't there. Jim gives the camera a knowing look]
DeAngelo: Well if he's not gonna make it at least we should go ahead and eat the cake. [Kevin nods] I for one love the corners. [cuts a corner piece, picks it up with his bare hands, and takes a bite] Why'd I just do that? It's not even that good. I don't even want it. I had cake for lunch. [throws the piece in the garbage] No, you know what? I've been good. I deserve this. [grabs a piece from another corner. The office groans] What am I doing? [chucks it into the trashcan] Come on DeAngelo! [DeAngelo tries to lick the cake, everybody yells no]
Dwight Schrute: [to Jim] Uh oh... [Jim, tearful, nods]
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Jim Halpert: This is literally how they built the pyramids.
Dwight Schrute: Well, they whipped people, which was helpful.
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Michael Scott: [drops Dwight's watermelon baby] Ohh God! Wow! What was on that?
Dwight Schrute: Butter! Newborns are slippery.
Michael Scott: Nice touch. Good. Let's try that again!
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Dwight Schrute: Don't be mad, it is a business trip.
Angela: But I don't understand, it's for managers.
Dwight Schrute: Monkey, I am an A.R.M., Assistant Regional Manager.
Angela: I know... I was just really hoping we could spend some time together.
[Dwight stays silent]
Angela: Are you still there?
Dwight Schrute: Yes, monkey--
Angela: Don't monkey me. You can't wait to get out of here, A.R.M.!
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Dwight Schrute Put the pizza in my mouth.
Jim Halpert I assure you, that will not increase the pleasure--
Dwight Schrute --Oh. I try me.
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Dwight Schrute: Always the padawan, never the jedi...
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Dwight Schrute: Hey I have an idea. You know that extra bedroom? If the whole girlfriend thing never happens, that's where the nurse could live.
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[from deleted scenes]
Dwight Schrute: On the high seas Captain Jack's the leader, on the land it's Michael. On the ramp up to the boat, I was a little conflicted.
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Michael Scott: Why are you dressed like that?
Darryl: Like what?
Michael Scott: Like you're applying for a loan.
Dwight Schrute: Maybe he's going to church. Or court.
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Dwight Schrute: [on proposing an ultimatum] Are you sure that's going to work!?
Phyllis: It when Bob said I had to stop talking to my sister on the phone so much.
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Meredith: [condescendingly] You don't take my clients away and give them to a secretary. [to Jim] No offense, Jim, I think she's very pretty.
Dwight Schrute: Her face is okay, but-
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Dwight Schrute: [looking at cell phone] Attention everyone I just got a text from Michael. He says personnel day. Are we hiring?
Jim Halpert: Yep. You're being replaced.
Pam Beasley: I think he meant personal day
Dwight Schrute: Oh, that's quite a leap Pam.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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