Dwight Schrute Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: You know who used to sit at that desk?
Dwight Schrute: That guy, Miles, who quit to form his own company.
Michael Scott: Todd Packer.
Dwight Schrute: I thought he was out on the road.
Michael Scott: He was, but that desk was empty. He would come in and sit there some times.
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Andy: Why did we pretend like we worked here?
Dwight Schrute: Is that what we were doing?
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Darryl: Come on Michael let me borrow the hat for just a couple of hours.
Michael Scott: You wanna be Santa? Have you ever seen Santa?
Darryl: Yeah, I've seen Santa. Who cares?
Michael Scott: Well I'm sorry it just doesn't work.
Dwight Schrute: Michael, I would like to be the elf.
Michael Scott: That makes sense, because he has elfish features.
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Dwight Schrute: Let me bring up one word. Dedication. I have never been late. Also, I have never missed a day due to illness, even when I had walking pneumonia. I even come in on holidays.
Michael Scott: You do? How do you get in?
Dwight Schrute: I have a copy of your key.
Jan: That's a serious offense.
Michael Scott: That is a very serious offense. Very serious. As is toying with a man's heart.
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David Wallace: Dwight come on now it's time to put in the subs.
Charles Miner: Yeah it looks like Pam won't make it back.
Dwight Schrute: Okay. Fine.
Charles Miner: Alright! Come on.
Dwight Schrute: Except you know what? It's not fine. How many people, need to get hurt before we learn a valuable lesson? One? Two? Three? Four?
Charles Miner: Dwight...
Dwight Schrute: No, no, hear me out. Five. Six?
David Wallace: Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: Seven? Can I finish please?
David Wallace: Okay.
Dwight Schrute: Eight?
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Dwight Schrute: Let me tell you about me like him. (Ryan) he comes over and you're like 'Hey baby, let me light a candle' and you pull out this one- half used. And he's like 'Who else is she seeing? I better lock her down fast'.
Kelly: You can take my Hellen Fielding collection.
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Dwight Schrute: Do you want me to sing you a song my mother used to sing me when we were sick? [starts singing in German]
Michael Scott: Ok, Dwight. Shh shh shh. Dwigh, shh. Leave him alone.
Dwight Schrute: It's a lullaby.
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Dwight Schrute: Oh, I get it. You're trying to secure your place as head of the party planning committee. You're just being selfish.
[Phyllis slaps Dwight]
Dwight Schrute: And you slap like a girl.
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Jim Halpert [reading gift tag] "Hey, Pickles! Merry Christmas! Open immediately. Love, Swiss Cheese."
[opens box, gets hit by snowball inside the box]
Dwight Schrute Didn't think your affectionate nicknames would be your undoing, did you, Jim? Let that be a lesson to you all.
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Dwight Schrute: Bread is the paper of the food industry. You write your sandwich on it.
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Dwight Schrute: Welcome. Scranton hotdog from Scranton?
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons