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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 8 - Spooked

The Office Season 8 Quotes - Spooked

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Erin: Pam, how would you rate me as a receptionist, on a scale of one to three?
Pam Beesly: Ummm, two?
Erin: That's like the second to last thing I wanted to hear.
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Phyllis: Is she Asian?
Erin: I don't know. She's from somewhere, I bet.
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Toby: Every Halloween, I tell him the same thing: You can't bring weapons into the office. And every year, he says the same thing: "As soon as I get my weapons back, I'm gonna kill you."
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Robert California When I was a boy there was an empty house just up the hill from my family’s. It was rumored that a man committed suicide there after being possessed by the Devil. One day a young woman, Lydia, moved into the house with her infant child. That very night Lydia was awakened by a loud, heinous hissing sound, hssss. She walked to the nursery, and there in Baby’s crib there was a snake wrapped around Baby’s neck, squeezing tighter and tighter.
Creed Bratton [aghast] Oh my Goodness!
Robert California The crib was full of dirt, Baby struggled to free itself from underneath, reaching and clawing, gasping for air. Embalmed bodies rose from their sarcophagi, lurching towards Baby… [awkward silence] for they were mummies.
Kevin Malone NO!
Robert California Amongst them was a man. Tall, slim...
Meredith Palmer Jim! Uh!
Robert California Almost instinctively she turned to her husband, ‘Oh, wait,’ she thought, ‘I don’t have a husband.’ For Lydia and her husband had had an argument, one they couldn’t get past. Each night they slept one inch further apart, until one night Lydia left. It was about this time she lost herself in imaginary worlds [Dwight turns off Starcraft]. She had quit the book club, the choir, citing something about their high expectations. Her lips slowly grew together from disuse and every time she wanted to act and didn’t, another part of her face hardened until it was stone. And then the fevered night, she rushed to the nursery, threw open the door. “Baby, are you OK?” Baby sat up slowly, turned to mother and said, “I’m fine, bitch. I’m fine.”
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Robert California Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us? How dare we let it into our decision making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships? It’s funny isn’t it we take a day a year to dress up in costume and celebrate fear.
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Robert California Now then, how are we today?
Kelly Kapoor Fine.
Toby Flenderson Great.
Robert California Just fine, Kelly? Everything alright?
Kelly Kapoor Mh-hm.
Robert California Are you feeling fulfilled in your life?
Kelly Kapoor I guess.
Robert California You guess? So there is something you want that you do not have?
Kelly Kapoor Try not to think about it.
Robert California Because it's too terrifying to imagine? Now we're cooking. What is it Kelly? What is this great fear of yours?
Kelly Kapoor Never marrying.
Robert California Yes. Dying alone, that is very scary. And how are you, Toby?
Toby Flenderson I'm.. I'm just great.
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Andy: Chef from South Park! It's genius!
Stanley: Just some chef.
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Robert California: [to Andy on Halloween] ... and on this day of fantasy you chose to a laborer.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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