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Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly, has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community. What is Diwali, you may ask. Well, to have Kelly explain it, ' well, it's, blah blah blah, it's so super, fun, and it's gonna be great!' Lot of gods with unpronouncable names, twenty minutes later, you find out that it is essentially a Hindu Halloween.
Now a lot of people say that Kelly is one in a million. And that's true, but it's also not true. Because frankly there are literally billions of people just like Kelly in the world. Here are some famous Indians...
I started biking to work. Josh does it and he lives a lot farther away than I do. And also it saves gas money, keeps me in shape, helps the environment, and now I know it makes me really sweaty for work.
My Indian cultural seminar was going great until Toby decided that he was too immature to deal with culturally explicit images. It's just sex, people. Everybody does it. I'm doing it. With Carol. Probably tonight.
I love the people here. And if there was one thing I don't really care for is that they can be terribly, terribly ignorant about other cultures. And I don't want them embarassing me in front of my girlfriend, Carol.
(End credits, Michael is singing)
Everybody looks so jolly.
But it's not Christmas, it's Diwali.
The goddess of destruction Kali stopped by to celebrate Diwali.
Don't invite any zombies to a celebration of Diwali.
Along came Polly to have some fun at Diwali.
If you're Indian and you love to party, have a happy, happy, happy, happy Diwali.
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