Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: My branch is absorbing the Stamford branch, or as I like to put it, 'my family is doubling in size'.
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Dwight Schrute: Please? I'm always the guy you rely on at work.
Michael Scott: Well this isn't about work. This is closing on a condo. It's completely personal.
Dwight Schrute: So you're taking a personal day?
Michael Scott: Ahem-- Except that. It's about my living arrangement, and as boss, I need to have a living arrangement in order to do work.
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Michael Scott [to camera] I just made Kevin cry. And Gabe looks like Lady Gaga. That's not Halloween. Halloween should be a day in which we honor monsters and not be mad at each other.
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Michael Scott: [To Ben Franklin role player who he thinks is a male stripper] Are you wearing a thong?
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Michael Scott: First up, the lost and found has gone missing. It itself, is lost. So please try not to lose anything until we find it [cut to Creed wearing an awkward pair of black glasses]
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Michael Scott [to pam] You don't know me...You've just seen my penis.
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Michael Scott: The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. The first person to shout 'shotgun' when you're within sight of the car gets the front seat. That's how the game's played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion.
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Michael Scott: Now, I know a lot of you are probably asking yourself, why are you dressed in a plus size suit.
Kevin: Because you're kind of doing Michael Clump.
Michael Scott: Wh- how do you know Michael Clump?
Oscar: It's your making fun of fat people character.
Michael Scott: How dare you! Michael Clump is a celebration of fat people.
Oscar: I think of him of more like a monster. What about, "I say I say I say, I'll sit on you."
Dwight Schrute: No, no, it goes, it goes "I say I say I say I'll sit on you!"
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Michael Scott: I think it's better to die with some people that you like, like Oscar and Andy and Concierge Marie, than to know that there's somebody out there that you love that you're not with.
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Ryan Howard: Do you guys wanna hear about Thailand?
Michael Scott: Oh yeah.
Pam Beesly: Sure.
[long pause]
Ryan Howard: It was indescribable.
Michael Scott: Sounds awesome.
Pam Beesly: Neat.
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Ryan: I never went to Thailand.
Pam Beesly: Really?
Michael Scott: I went to Fort Lauderdale
Michael Scott: Was it nice?
Ryan: Yeah "it was amazing." There was a great pad thai place though.
Michael Scott: I love pad thai.
Ryan: You've never had pad thai.
Michael Scott: No. There's a lot I haven't done.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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[Dwight pulls something purple out of the bathtub in the dump]
Dwight Shrute: Hey, you know who'd like this? Phyllis. Purple much!
Michael Scott: She does! She loves purple.
[Dwight smells it]
Michael Scott: Does it stink?
Dwight Shrute: Yeah.
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