Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: Waaaaazzuuuuupppp!!!
Jim Halpert: Waazuup. I still love that, after seven years.
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Pam Beesly: You can't today, we're doing inventory.
Michael Scott: Inventory's at the end of December.
Pam Beesly: We couldn't do it without you so we postponed.
Michael Scott: I specifically went on vacation so I would miss it.
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Michael Scott: I have brought with me only the bare essentials. A knife. A roll of duct tape. In case I need to fashion a shelter, or make some sort of water vessel.
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Michael Scott: Pam, please clear my phone lines.
Pam Beesly: Certainly. Beep-boop bee-boop-boop beep beep beep boop. Okay, clear.
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Michael Scott: [looks at Oscar, who is using his phone, and grabs it from him] Well, well, well. What is this contraption, I do declare?
Oscar: It's my blackberry Michael, I am trying to get updates on the company.
Michael Scott: Who's Michael? I'm Caleb Crawdad, I do declare.
Ryan: You don't have to keep saying "I do declare". Any time you say something it means you are declaring.
Michael Scott: That is the way Southern people talk.
Jim Halpert: And what Designing Woman are you basing that on?
Michael Scott: Delta Burke, I do declare. Now, shall we get to the mystery?
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Michael Scott: I am actually great with old women. In fact, for the longest time my best friend was my grandmother. And then she met Harriet. And now she thinks she better than everybody.
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Michael Scott: OK, so what I want to engage us in today is a hardcore discussion about women's problems and issues and situations. Magazines and TV shows and movies portray women as skinny, tall goddesses. Well, look around. Are women like that? [look's at Phyllis] NO. No, they are not. [points to Pam] Even the hot ones aren't really that skinny. So what does that say? That says that you women are up against it. And it is criminal. Society doesn't care. Society sucks. I don't even consider myself a part of society. FYI. Because I am so angry over all of this.
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Michael Scott: Charlie Horse.
Creed: Why did you hit me, Michael?
Michael Scott: Oh stop.
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Michael Scott: No, I can't go back - I would look like an idiot.
Devon: That's why I'm being fired? So YOU might not look like an idiot?
Michael Scott: No, it was all the stuff that I said. It was the business downturn and cutbacks, and and and...
Devon: This is unbelievable!
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Michael Scott: [drives up listening to Just Dance by Lady Gaga] It's Britney bitch. And I am back, in the form of a new company, the Michael Scott Paper Company.
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Dwight Schrute: Singles only! Singles only. Also three is unlucky... curse of three.
Michael Scott: Sorry, Andy, cannot take any chances on curses, not tonight!
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: [after robbery] So much for sex without consequences.
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