Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Pam Beesly: The Pizza by Alfredo guy is here.
Michael Scott: You don't have to say it like that.
Pam Beesly: I said it normal.
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Michael Scott: There's still one thing we can do to get Toby fired.
Dwight Schrute: What's that.
[Dwight closes the office door]
Dwight Schrute: Frame him. For using drugs.
Michael Scott: Frame him?
Dwight Schrute: Yeah. It's illegal, but, everything they do on The Shield is illegal.
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Dwight Schrute: You need an attack plan. Here, I'll be him, you be you. Let's practice.
Michael Scott: Alright.
Dwight Schrute: Hum de dum de dum, coming home from work.
Michael Scott: Excuse me. Mr Wallace? David Wallace?
Dwight Schrute: Yes? What is the meaning of this?
Michael Scott: Can you tell us why you are shutting down Scranton and putting fifteen people out of work?
Dwight Schrute: Well the branch is no longer financially viable. It's simple dollars and cents.
Michael Scott: Yes, but these are employees, sir. These are human beings.
Dwight Schrute: Listen, Scott, we're losing money, okay? It's not a charity, it's a business. It's a dying business.
Michael Scott: Stop it. Stop it. Just-- he's not going to say any of that.
Dwight Schrute: Well, hey, why not.
Michael Scott: Because he'd be intimiated. And I just--let's start again. Just be more scared of me, okay? Don't touch me this time.
Dwight Schrute: Hum de dum de dum de do, I'm coming home from work.
Michael Scott: Excuse me, Mr Wallace?
Dwight Schrute: Ahh!
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Michael Scott: So, um, tell me, is your marriage the kind of thing where when you die, she has to throw herself on a fire? No? Okay. It's still very cool.
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Michael Scott: [screaming into the office] I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!
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Michael Scott: Hey hey, Angela, no! No cleaning up.
Angela: You are forcing to be down here, am I not allowed to have fun?
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Michael & Jim: [Michael and Jim singing at the karaoke] ... Divided together uh-huh... Making love with each other, uh-huh [Jim smiling at Pam]
Michael Scott: [Cheerfully] We're making love!
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Michael Scott: I can't get a stripper here. Sexual harrasment.
Todd Packer: Get one for the girls too, that evens it out. You know, seperate but equal.
Michael Scott: So that's what that means.
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Michael Scott: I'm very sorry, I did not know that you were wearing a hearing aid, I just thought you were speaking... abnormally.
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Michael Scott: Any messages?
Erin: You're soaking wet.
Michael Scott: Well Jim and I got caught in a little flash... rain. Flash winds, flash lightening.
Phyllis: Wow. Sounds scary.
Michael Scott: It was. It was. And then in an instant, it wasn't!
Angela: Why isn't Jim wet?
Jim Halpert: I... outran it.
Meredith: I don't think it rained. My hip would be throbbing.
Michael Scott: It rained.
Dwight Schrute: Michael, can I get you something? A towel, some cocoa?
Michael Scott: Nothing. [pause] Cocoa.
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Michael Scott: Man what a day, huh? How could it get any worse? The computer crashes, with the porn. And then Meredith with the accident. And then, Sprinkle. God. That's three things. I'll tell you what's going on. This office is cursed. And we have to do something.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: Because, well, Jim. Where I'm from, two types of folk: those who ain't, and those who are knee-high on a grasshopper. Which type ain't you ain't? Ya'll come back now.
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