Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: [Speaking into tape recorder] Boner Bomb starring Jason Statham. Or go against type with an Eisenberg or Michael Cera.
Dwight Schrute: Movie idea?
Michael Scott: Noooo...[Speaking into tape recorder] Saving the world has never been this hard.
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Michael Scott: Someone could say, it is like the situation that we are in now.
Dwight Schrute: It is the situation we are in now.
Michael Scott: So I would say, that the old boss has always been good to Dwight, and he was there first, so he has dibs. You respect dibs don't you?
Dwight Schrute: I'm not a barbarian.
Michael Scott: Good. Will you meet me in twenty minutes at the spot.
Dwight Schrute: I will.
Michael Scott: Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: Yes.
Michael Scott: Is the cool new guy Charles?
Dwight Schrute: I've said too much.
Michael Scott: Is it Stanley?
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Woman: Well I'm gonna head out.
Michael Scott: Oh. Okay. Well, um, I enjoyed this, conversation. It was very nice. It was like talking to the sweet old lady on the bus.
Woman: That's incredibly rude.
Michael Scott: Now you ruined it. [walks out]
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[Michael turns into Toby]
Michael Scott: Oh. My. God. [pause] That's why people are leaving. I... I have no words.
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Michael Scott: Okay, alright. So. James Halpert. [starts to cry] You started with this company, as a fine young man...
Jim Halpert: You know what I think we should do? I think we should just save the goodbyes for tomorrow. At lunch.
Michael Scott: Oh, okay.
Jim Halpert: And then tomorrow, I can tell you... what a great boss, you turned out to be. The best boss I ever had. [Jim is holding back tears too]
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Michael Scott: I am going to give you a little blast from the past of Michael Gary Scott when he was a child star, and a show that you might remember called 'Fundle Bundle.' Okay? Without further ado, Ryan?
Miss Trudy: [from TV] ...Bundle, are you ready to come on in? [TV children cheer] Let's have some fun!
Michael Scott: That... is Miss Trudy. Can't tell from the costume, but she had an amazing body. Okay, you can... fast forward. And... I want you... to...
Dwight Schrute: Is that a real fun shooting windmill?
Michael Scott: Stop! Stop! Stop! [Ryan resumes the tape] Yes! That is, uh, Edward R. Meow.
Jim Halpert: That's pretty funny.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Edward R. Meow: ...Recess! Hey, what's your name?
Chet: My name's Chet.
Edward R. Meow: Well hi Chet.
Oscar: Is that Chet Montgomery?
Michael Scott: Uhh, I don't know.
Pam Beesly: That is!
Darryl: Checkin' in with Chet. Doppler's up.
Edward R. Meow: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Chet: I want to be on TV!
Dwight Schrute: [employees chuckle] And he is on TV now!
Michael Scott: Can everyone please shut up, please! So you don't miss it.
Edward R. Meow: Okay, next? So, what's your name?
Michael Scott: Oh! That's me. Shh. Shh.
Edward R. Meow: Well what's your favorite subject at school?
Young Michael Scott: Recess.
Edward R. Meow: Ree-cesss. So tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Young Michael Scott: I want to be married and have a hundred kids so I can have a hundred friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.
Edward R. Meow: [jaw drops, awkward pause] Uh, ah... oh, okay! Well uh, nice talking with you, Michael. Uh, back to you Miss Trudy!
Miss Trudy: Hi everyone, it's one of my favorite times of the day.
Michael Scott: Coulda sworn there was...
Melissa: Did you get married?
Michael Scott: ...uh, no.
Abby: Why not?
Michael Scott: Uh, just never happened.
Sasha: So, do you have any kids?
Michael Scott: Uh, nope.
Jake: Do you have a girlfriend?
Michael Scott: I do okay.
Melissa: Was Chet Montgomery cool back then?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Jake: Even I have a girlfriend.
Michael Scott: Okay! Alright, okay.
Sasha: So you didn't get to be what you wanted to be.
Michael Scott: ...I guess not... you know, I have a load of work to do so I am going to grab a slice of this delish pizza... and I'm going to go do my work. Bye.
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Michael Scott: Oh, lunch party.
Angela: It's supposed to say 'launch!'
Michael Scott: Wow. Okay easy, Booster Seat. No one cares about this party anyway.
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David Wallace: [over speakerphone] Okay. I have to go.
Michael Scott: David wait!
David Wallace: No.
Michael Scott: Is there no way we can get rid of him?
David Wallace: Not without cause, Michael!
Michael Scott: I have cause! It is be'caause I hate him!
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Michael Scott: These people don't realize how lucky they are. This office is the American dream. And they would rather be in the hole.
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Michael Scott: But you know, I'm not going to cry about it. I did that on the way home. No more tears. Which reminds me, I have to get shampoo.
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Jim Halpert: What happened to you?
Michael Scott: Captain jack has a problem with authority.
Jim Halpert: Oh, right, 'cause you announced that his ship was sinking.
Michael Scott: He just totally lost it. If you ask me he caused the panic.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Oscar: We don't even have to have a party.
Michael Scott: No, hey. Hey, don't be ridiculous. Of course we are going to have a party. The celebration of Oscar. Oscar night. And I want it to be Oscar specific--
Oscar: Michael...
Michael Scott: No, no not because you're gay. You're gayness does not define you. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you, to me. And I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity. So Phyllis I want you to go and find firecrackers and a Chiwawa.
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