Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: And here we have Stanley the Manley. Now Stanley is a dundee all-star, aren't you Stan. Why don't you show them some of your bling?
Stanley: I don't know where they are I think I threw them out.
Michael Scott: Oh no you didn't.
Stanley: I think I did.
Michael Scott: Mm.. why di--
Stanley: Say, we need to order more appetizers, we ran out last year.
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Michael Scott: Oh, hey, what is this?
Pam Beesly: Hilary Swank.
Michael Scott: Oh she's hot.
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Michael Scott: What am I gonna do? I'll tell ya, what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do a little bit of this, a little bit of that. I'm gonnaaa... stay up all day. I'm gonna sleep up all night. I'm gonna give it a hooo! Heyyy! Hooo! And I'm gonna stop worrying about calories.
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Michael Scott: Time to make the donuts!
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Ryan Howard: [on his cellphone] You should come on down this weekend man. Yeah. We'll hang out Scranton style.
Michael Scott: Hey, you said you're gonna be out of town this weekend.
Ryan Howard: Please don't listen to my phone calls. [back to the phone] Yeah. She'd probably be a six in New York but she's like a seven here, in Scranton. And then, uh, the boss is my old boss from Dunder Mifflin. It's a small space.
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Michael Scott: Campus. Brings back so many memories, that I would have made.
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Michael Scott: The one true rumor--and this is going to ruin this person's life--is that--
Jim Halpert: Is that Pam's pregnant!
Kevin: I knew it! Her breasts were a tiny bit bigger. At first, I thought, oh she has a new bra with padding, but then I thought, Pam doesn't neeed padding. It just didn't add up, Jim.
Jim Halpert: Ok. Thank you.
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Michael Scott: Funny story. The way I got into improv was- I got into improv- oh, the story about me getting into improv was that I was walking down the street and a racecar pulls up, and the guy says, 'Hey, you're funny. You're the funniest guy I've ever seen. Or my name is not Dale Earnhardt.' [laughs] And that, was an improv. [pause] Um, the real way was that I found a flyer.
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[from deleted scenes]
Michael Scott: You know who loves interior design? My friend Todd Packer. He... He's always asking if Jan's carpet matches her drapes. Now, although, he says that he prefers it when there is no carpet. Which doesn't make sense because I've been to his apartment and there is shag carpeting all over the place. So, I guess people's design sensibilities change.
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Michael Scott: When you work for Sabre only one thing matters. And I don't care if you're a loser, orrr you practice bestiality. If Joe likes you, you are in. And I, am in.
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Michael Scott: Oh man, you seem to have caught Jo's eye. How'd you make that happen?
Darryl: I impressed her with my good ideas.
Michael Scott: Mm-hmm! Seriously. How'd you do it.
Darryl: I made a suggestion at the meeting that was good. You were there...
Michael Scott: How do I put this delicately... Does her family owe your family something? In terms of a past injustice.
Darryl: Now Mike I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. So I can learn about this tiny, television [turning on his monitor]
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Michael Scott: It's not been a blockbuster year for me financially. My Blockbuster stock is down.
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