Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Dwight Schrute: Lex Luther said it best when he said, 'Dad, you have no idea what I'm capable of.'
Michael Scott: Is that from Superman?
Dwight Schrute: Smallville. And that's why I should get a raise.
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Michael Scott: Today Jo Bennett, the CEO from Sabre is coming to see us here for the first time. She bought us sight unseen. Like a mailorder bride. So she's gonna be kinda nervous. I mean, are we ugly? Are we smart? Are we cool? Are we too cool? Do.. we speak English?
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[Michael sits in the conference with Gabe and Toby]
Gabe: Legal says, the best way to protect us from a lawsuit is to call this a stress induced outburst. You will have to undergo six sessions of counselling.
Michael Scott: That's it? Really? That's nothing. Alright! It's highway robbery.
Gabe: Well, that's the spirit!
Michael Scott: I can do that.
Gabe: And uh, you will do your counselling right here because our HR staff are all certified counsellors.
Michael Scott: Ok. Wait what?
Toby: Yeah, I'm really looking forward to working with you Michael.
Michael Scott: [to Gabe] Is there another option.
Gabe: [confused] The alternative is termination.
[Michael doesn't answer]
Gabe: Michael?
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Michael Scott: [reading a statement to the press] We at Sabre have betrayed the trust that we have built with our customers. We regret our slow response and lapse in candour and judgement. At this time, we are issuing a full recall of all Sabre GH400 printers. We will not rest until this problem is solved. There will be no questions. Are there any questions.
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[Jim has Pam on the phone through his bluetooth device in his ear]
Michael Scott: Jimbo, let's do this thaang.
Jim Halpert: That is me. Wish me luck.
Dwight Schrute: No way.
Pam Beesly: [in Jim's ear] Good luck.
Jim Halpert: Thanks.
Dwight Schrute: I didn't say anything.
Pam Beesly: [in Jim's ear] I love you.
Jim Halpert: I love you too.
Dwight Schrute: What do you think I am saying to you!?
Jim Halpert: I'm not talking to you.
Dwight Schrute: [cut to talking head] I've caught Jim talking to himself several times today. What a loser. [to camera] Get a friend, loser.
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Michael Scott: And thus, Michael Scott sealed his own destiny... in a good way.
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[from deleted scenes]
Michael Scott: [in front of Katy to Toby] Toby's divorced. God that's hard. That really ripped you up. She got the kids right? That'll damage ya. Sorry man. That's, uh, quite a bad one. How much are you paying her? What can- you can't even afford anything now right? You're alright though, right? Don't ask me for a raise! ...oh cup-a-soup's a good idea though. That's a good budgetary thing to do.
Toby: It's just a snack.
Michael Scott: Well they're good snacks, they're good food. Good meals. Good lunch. ...you still sleepin' in the car?
Toby: No.
Michael Scott: Because he slept in the car a couple times.
Toby: Just the once.
Michael Scott: Are you still taking the anti-depressants? It's a good idea. Because it'll help! It'll help man.
Katie: I'm gonna go back to my table.
Michael Scott: Okay. I'll see you in a bit! [pauses] She's pretty cute isn't she? ...see you in a bit!
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Michael Scott: There are certain defining moments in a person's life. The day he's born. The day he grows hair. The day he starts a business and the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin. What have I learned from all of this? It is far to early to tell. All I know is that I'm flying high and I don't even want to think about it. I just want to enjoy it.
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David Wallace's wife: Did you get a chance to try Michael's homemade potato salad?
[cut to interview]
Michael Scott: Rachel thinks I brought homemade potato salad, and I just picked it up at the supermarket. It's funny, I wish I could make potato salad that good. It's just potatoes and mayonaise. There's something wrong with Jan.
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Dwight Schrute: Have you ever seen a lioness devour her cub?
Michael Scott: Oh God not this--
Dwight Schrute: Have you ever seen a baboon devour its mate. Have you ever seen a raccoon devour a squirrel?
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Jim Halpert: See, you're always saying there's something wrong with society, maybe there's something wrong with you?
Michael Scott: If it's me, then society made me that way.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Jo Bennett: Oh honey, surely you don't want that.
Michael Scott: I surely do, and don't call me honey. Airplane 2.
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