Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: It's hot! Today. The sun is in the two-thirds Easterly quadrant which would make it about... [looks at watch] 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Really beating down on me now. I think, that I want to get a little more comfortable, because the sun is depleting my resources. [starts cutting dress pants into shorts] Oh there we go. Watch that I don't hit my corroded artery.
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Oscar: Is this our punishment for not wanting to have lunch with you?
Michael Scott: Why don't you get over lunch Oscar, everyone else is past it.
Dwight Schrute: [imitating Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining'] All work and no play makes Michael a dull boy.
Meredith: This is like a haunted coffee house thing?
Michael Scott: No, Dwight is confusing you. Its more of a disco.
Andy: It's like a haunted disco.
Michael Scott: With coffee, but without the haunting.
Phyllis: It's a combo dance house coffee bar.
Michael Scott: It is a daytime disco on the ground floor of an industrial office building
Erin: It's a cafe disco.
Kevin: Like a disco cafe?
Michael Scott: Wha ... no. No. Not even close.
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Michael Scott: Sad? No, no, no. I don't leave 'til tomorrow, so... Tomorrow I will be a wreck.
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Pam Halpert: Hey Michael. Sorry to interrupt you, um, I actually have something very important to talk to you about! Business related.
Michael Scott: It can wait. It can wait.
Pam Halpert: I lied it's personal. It's about me and Jim we're-- I-- just, you're the only person I can talk to...
Michael Scott: Jim is her husband.
Pam Halpert: And--
Michael Scott: And they're having problems. And so she comes to me.
Pam Halpert: We're not having problems but it is personal and--
Michael Scott: In bed!
Pam Halpert: Yes. Yes, I desperately want to speak with you about my sex life with Jim.
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Toby: Anybody need sunblock? I've got SPF 30.
Michael Scott: Oh. You know what? You're not going.
Toby: It's Beach Day.
Michael Scott: Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Toby. We, um, somebody has to say here.
[cut to interview]
Michael Scott: I want today to be a beautiful memory, that the staff and I share after I have passed on, to New York. And if Toby's apart of it, then it'll suck.
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Michael Scott: Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime, and you could tell me... how you do that to another dude.
Oscar: That sounds like a great, wonderful idea. Let's do that.
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Michael Scott: I have come here today to talk to Mr. David Wallace about this whole thing going on with Sabre. He will know exactly what to do. He is not a fan of me dropping by unannounced. But then again, who is?
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Andy: Mr. Todd! Mr. Todd! I found her!
Sweeny Todd: You found Johanna.
Andy: That monster of a judge [Andy's phone starts ringing] Has locked her... [keeps ringing] Locked her away...
Sweeny Todd: There's a little bird fluttering around. Do hope it ceases, chirping.
[the audience laughs]
Michael Scott: How is that funny?
Sweeny Todd: The bird continues to call. Someone please turn off your... Bird. Oh, for the love of--turn your phone off! There are signs!
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Michael Scott: You know, it would probably be best if the person responsible would just come forward and accept their punishment.
[everyone looks around]
Michael Scott: Alright, you''re all going to be punished.
Pam Beesly: What''s our punishment?
Michael Scott: You're all in time-out. Just sit there quietly.
[Phyllis reaches to answer a ringing phone]
Michael Scott: Nooooooooo!
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Michael Scott: Question. Are you real, or are you a 'hollygram'?
Holly: Thanks I've never heard that one before actually, that's good.
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Michael Scott: Oh I think this is gonna work out great, because managing the warehouse is a very important part of my job and I haven't been there in months.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: Yeah, I've been pretty much skating my whole life. I thought about playing in the NHL, but you're on the road so much, you have no time to spend with your wife and kids. And I really want a wife and kids.
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