Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: They're wrong, you are creative. You are damn creative. Each and every one of you. You are so much more creative than all the other dry, boring morons that you work with.
Jim Halpert: Who are you talking to, specifically?
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Michael Scott: Just out of curiosity how much do you get paid here?
Ryan Howard: Sixty thousand dollars a year.
Pam Beesly: You get paid by the year at the bowling alley?
Ryan Howard: What do you make, secretary?
Employee: Get back to work shoe bitch!
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Michael Scott: I need you, to arrange a meeting between me and the sales staff without Ryan and Pam knowing.
Dwight Schrute: Gasp. Are you talking about a secret meeting?
Michael Scott: Whatever you guys did earlier.
Dwight Schrute: I don't know the first thing about secret meetings.
Michael Scott: Just do it. Ok? Get 'em there. Get 'em there--
Dwight Schrute: I'll do the best I can, Michael.
Michael Scott: Are you kidding me?
Dwight Schrute: Deceit does not come easy to me.
Michael Scott: Ok ok ok ok!
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Lawyer: Are you telling me that your relationship began two years ago and not in February as you previously testified to here?
Michael Scott: Line.
Lawyer: I'm sorry, what?
Executive: He asked for a line, like in a play.
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Michael Scott: An employee will go home and he'll tell his neighbor, 'Hey, did you get an award?' And the neighbor will say, 'No man, I mean I slave all day and nobody notices me.' Next thing you know, Employee smells something terrible coming from the neighbor''s house. Neighbor''s hanged himself... due to lack of recognition.
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Michael Scott: It's my sumo suit. I just didn't inflate it all the way. I am so glad that I bought instead of rented.
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Jan: How would a movie increase productivity, Michael? How on earth would it do that?
Michael Scott: People work faster after.
Jan: Magically.
Michael Scott: No. They have to, to make up for the time they lost watching the movie.
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Michael Scott: You're gonna somersault around for the rest of you life, and you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser.
Creed: My tombstone's already been made, thank you.
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Michael Scott: Deangelo's great, I love the guy, but I’m not sure he’s a good fit for the office. And also, I’m not sure if I love the guy.
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Holly: [voicemail] This is Holly Flax. I can't come to the phone right now but please leave a message at the sound of the tiny truck backing up. *BEEP*
Michael Scott: Hi Holly. It's Michael. I just wanted to call and let you know that I was thinking about what you said. It's just...you know...it's weird. Today I ended up seeing a lot of the women I used to date and in my mind, they were all great. And then when I actually saw them, it was mostly a freak show. And you and me, that must've been a real train wreck. You know what? Holly, you're wrong. You are wrong. I remember every second of us. And talking to you today, I feel for them like anything I feel for you. I didn't joke with any of them. I joked with you. You were the only one who was actually happy to hear from me. And I don't know why you downgraded what we had, but I did not make us up. Ok..Oh and you might-you should talk to a doctor because you might have herpes. Bye.
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Darryl: Mike you know you don't need to turn us all in. All you need is one scapegoat.
Kelly: Uh, if you turn me in I'm turning in Darryl.
Michael Scott: That's just what we need. Another black man in prison.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: [to Dwight] Okay third-wheel why don't you do that.
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