Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: I love babies. I think they are beautiful in all sorts of different ways. I try to pick up a baby every day, if possible, because... it nourishes me. It feeds my soul. Babies are drawn to me and I think it’s because they see me as one of them, but, cooler, and with my life put together a little bit.
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[about Oscar being gay]
Michael Scott: If I don't know how to behave, it is because I am just so far the opposite the way. You know?
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Meredith: Hey who the hell's going through our stuff?
Gabe: Actually, that's Nick. He's your new "IT" guy, uh. He's setting up a site blocker. Mostly blocking the inappropriate sites. And then there are the time wasting sites, like Twitter, Youtube. We are blocking those as well.
[cut to talking head]
Michael Scott: Mmm nope. Don't like that.
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Jan: It was between the, uh, neon beer sign and the "dun-dies," so I said "Honey, keep the trophies."
Michael Scott: Oh, honey. I have the best, trophy, right, here. Aside from the dundies.
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Michael Scott: OK, so what I want to engage us in today is a hardcore discussion about women's problems and issues and situations. Magazines and TV shows and movies portray women as skinny, tall goddesses. Well, look around. Are women like that? [look's at Phyllis] NO. No, they are not. [points to Pam] Even the hot ones aren't really that skinny. So what does that say? That says that you women are up against it. And it is criminal. Society doesn't care. Society sucks. I don't even consider myself a part of society. FYI. Because I am so angry over all of this.
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Michael Scott: What did we learn this week? Well, one, thanks to me, my team is much, much faster at coming to decisions than I thought they would be. Number two, never buy a fur coat with a credit card until you absolutely have the money to pay for it. And three, [camera pans out revealing a big red stain on Michael's fur coat] you should know that some people think it's cool to throw buckets of fake blood on you as you are walking out of Burlington Coat Factory.
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Michael Scott: My Indian cultural seminar was going great until Toby decided that he was too immature to deal with culturally explicit images. It's just sex, people. Everybody does it. I'm doing it. With Carol. Probably tonight.
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Holly: Michael scored the big ticket item: Springsteen tickets. The boss scored the boss!
Michael Scott: Yeah. I think that's pretty boss!
Holly: He knows how to get things. He got me.
Michael Scott: Woahhh!
Holly: Sorry.
Michael Scott: Twice. Right?
Both: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
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Jan: Well, Michael, I guess I underestimated you.
Michael Scott: Well, Jan, maybe next time you should estimate me!
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Pam Beesly: Yeah, he tried to set up my Tivo for me, but then I did have audio for a week.
Michael Scott: If you ever need any help, I'm just a phone call away.
Jan: I bet you are.
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Michael Scott: I owe you an apology.
Pam Beesly: You finished the movie.
Michael Scott: Yeah, it was awesome. Big surprise ending. Won't ruin it for you.
Pam Beesly: No. Go ahead.
Michael Scott: Meryl Streep is the bad guy. You never see it coming. Anyway, if I was mean in any way to you, I'm sorry. I just want what's best for you, Manuschka.
Pam Beesly: [cut to talking head] Mo Cuishle! He's watching "Million Dollar Baby"! [pause] He's gonna try to kill me.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Dwight Schrute: Hey.
Michael Scott: Hey.
Dwight Schrute: You wanted to see me?
Michael Scott: Uh, yeah. What do you know about Meredith?
Dwight Schrute: I don't think she'd be missed.
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