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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Michael Scott Quotes

Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Kevin: Why did you get it so big?
Michael Scott: A. That's what she said, and B. I wanted it to be impressive, biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year.
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Dwight Shrute: What kind of mileage does this baby get?
Erin: It's like what high school kids take to prom on tv shows.
Oscar: So typical of management to spend money on this. Ugh, bunch of boobs.
Michael Scott: Hate to break it to you Oscar, but some of us like boobs.
Dwight Shrute: Calves. [raises hand] Calves all the way.
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Michael Scott: Yes, I forgot about Ryan's presentation. And yes, it would have been nice to do well at the first presentation that he'd given me. But you know what else would've been nice? Winning the lottery.
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Michael Scott: Calling cards are the wave of the future. These things sell themselves.
Ryan: Who uses calling cards anymore?
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Michael Scott: We will still get to use the little cups though, right?
Gabe: Little cups? Like, uh, paper or plastic or?
Michael Scott: I don't know what they're made of.
Dwight Schrute: They're two ounce paper cups dipped in plastic he goes through twenty a day.
Gabe: Ok. Well. I bet you could fit twenty little cups of water in your aluminum bottle.
Michael Scott: You know what can't fit in a bottle are the twenty little trips I take to the cooler. And the twenty little scans I do of everybody to make sure everything's running smoothy and the twenty conversations that I have with Stanley.
Stanley: That's okay.
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Ryan: Okay. Michael, why don't you start us off?
Michael Scott: Um. That wasn't much of an introduction.
Ryan: Ladies and gentleman, your boss, Michael Scott.
Michael Scott: [getting up] Still lame.
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Angela: I can't do this. I can't do it.
Michael Scott: Yes you can. I know you can. I wouldn't say it if I didn't 100% believe it. Who else could do this?
Angela: Okay. Okay.
Michael Scott: No seriously, is there anyone else who could do it better? Because we don't have a lot of time.
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Michael Scott: How was yoga?
Jan: I didn't go.
Michael Scott: Why- why not?
Jan: I just didn't!
Michael Scott: Okay.
Jan: How was improv?
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Holly: [voicemail] This is Holly Flax. I can't come to the phone right now but please leave a message at the sound of the tiny truck backing up. *BEEP*
Michael Scott: Hi Holly. It's Michael. I just wanted to call and let you know that I was thinking about what you said. It's just...you know...it's weird. Today I ended up seeing a lot of the women I used to date and in my mind, they were all great. And then when I actually saw them, it was mostly a freak show. And you and me, that must've been a real train wreck. You know what? Holly, you're wrong. You are wrong. I remember every second of us. And talking to you today, I feel for them like anything I feel for you. I didn't joke with any of them. I joked with you. You were the only one who was actually happy to hear from me. And I don't know why you downgraded what we had, but I did not make us up. Ok..Oh and you might-you should talk to a doctor because you might have herpes. Bye.
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Michael Scott: Birthday lunch. Birthday lunch, there is no better medicine than birthday lunch. It'll cure all of your "Gee I don't know if Michael should be dating my mother." And fixes all occurrences of "I don't really see them together." So, open wide, Pam, and take a big ol' spoonful of birthday lunch medicine... Take with food.
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Michael Scott: We're all going to die, of obesity. So how much are we gonna lose?
Jim Halpert: I would like to lose 65 pounds.
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Michael Scott: I have an idea for a fancy men's shoe store called Shoe La La. And... it's just mens shoes for the special occasions in a man's life. Like the day that you get married, or the day your wife has a baby, or for just lounging around the house.
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