Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: Funny story. The way I got into improv was- I got into improv- oh, the story about me getting into improv was that I was walking down the street and a racecar pulls up, and the guy says, 'Hey, you're funny. You're the funniest guy I've ever seen. Or my name is not Dale Earnhardt.' [laughs] And that, was an improv. [pause] Um, the real way was that I found a flyer.
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Michael Scott: [with shirt half unbuttoned] What is our beef as human men?
Lonny: You know, that's a good question, Hasselhoff.
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Michael Scott: What are we talking about here? Crips? Bloods?
Darryl: Both.
Michael Scott: God.
Darryl: Yeah them and the Latin Kings.. Warriors.. Newsies.
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Dwight Schrute: Michael, what is the meaning of this email that everyone got?
Michael Scott: You'll have to be more specific, Dwight. I get like eight e-mails a day.
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Oscar: We stopped reading memos because everyone marks them as urgent.
Michael Scott: Ok, I mark it as Urgent A, Urgent B, Urgent C, Urgent D. Urgent A is the most important. Urgent D you don’t even really have to worry about.
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David Wallace: How could you possibly think that the appropriate way to announce a branch closing was at a compant picinic?
Michael Scott: Well, I didnt know that they didnt know.
David Wallace: What about the fact that they're here today? What about that? That didn't throw up any alarms? No, Michael needed a little but for his comedy sketch and he thought 'Oh hey, this'll be really funny'.
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Michael Scott: You hear stories about Dunder Mifflin in the 80's, before everybody knew how bad cocaine was. Gyah... man, did they move paper!
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Michael Scott: Alright let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five-years-old. Couldn't even talk yet.
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Michael Scott: [to Jan on speaker phone] To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?
Jan: I'm returning your many phone calls.
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Andy: I know the perfect place too.
Michael Scott: Hooters?
Andy: Noo. Benihana. Much classier. But don't worry, babes are totally hot too.
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Michael Scott: There are certain defining moments in a person's life. The day he's born. The day he grows hair. The day he starts a business and the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin. What have I learned from all of this? It is far to early to tell. All I know is that I'm flying high and I don't even want to think about it. I just want to enjoy it.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: You know a lot of these people, this is the only family they have. So, as far as I'm concerned [picks up 'World's Best Boss' mug] this says World's Best Dad.
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