Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: [hanging up Pam's painting] It is a message. It is an inspiration. It is a source of beauty. And without paper, it could not have happened... Unless, you had a camera.
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Dwight Schrute: And what is the hookup zone policy on masturbation?
Michael Scott: Pro.
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Michael Scott: I don't know if I want to do this.
Dwight Schrute: You wanna do another test? I've got plenty of watermelons in my trunk.
Michael Scott: No. No more. The tests are going terrible. If we keep doing them, I'm not gonna want to jump. This is about doing, not thinking.
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Michael Scott: I just like you. I can't believe I get to be with you. You work at an adult arcade. You can have any man you want.
Donna: When I tell you I like you, you need to trust me, not some freak.
Michael Scott: If you wanna dump me I totally get it.
Donna: I told you I like you.
Michael Scott: Well you, are bonerific.
Donna: [laughs] Hey, if I said that we should go away for a couple days, you would...
Michael Scott: Poop my pants.
Donna: Have you ever been to Vero Beach?
Michael Scott: Oh my God, Vero Beach! No. Is that on the water?
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Dwight Schrute: Michael, what is the meaning of this email that everyone got?
Michael Scott: You'll have to be more specific, Dwight. I get like eight e-mails a day.
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Michael Scott: Yeah, I'm trying to lure these kids into my booth. But, uhh, kids are very weary of being lured, these days. Thank you Dateline.
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Dwight Schrute: It is my idea! I'm filled with good ideas! Thousands of good of ideas.
Michael Scott: You are? Good ideas, huh? Hey did you come up with Toilet Buddy? It's a net, a circular net you put inside the toilet to catch all of your change and your wallet from falling into the toilet? Formerly known as Toilet Guard?
Dwight Schrute: Horse. Boat. A canoe built around a horse so you can go from riding to water travel without slowing down. Horse boat!
Michael Scott: Toilet sponge. It's a hallowed-out sponge--
Dwight Schrute: Gimme a break.
Michael Scott: --that is more absorbent, and softer than toilet paper. I have a lot of toilet ideas.
Dwight Schrute: That's cause they're easy--
Michael Scott: They're not easy--
Dwight Schrute: ...women's urinals...
Michael Scott: Everybody has to go to the bathroom!
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Michael Scott: Hookay, you know something Dwight we are not the terrorists. Why don't you just take these women put them in a burlap sack and hit them with a stick because that's what you're doing. I celebrate these women. They deserve the right to dress as they please. If Pam wants to show more cleavage she should be able to. I encourage that.
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Michael Scott: Our company is worth nothing. That's the difference between you and I. Business isn't about money to me, David. If tomorrow my company goes under I will just start another paper company. And then another and another and another. I have no shortage of company names.
David Wallace: Michael--
Michael Scott: That's one of 'em! Yes!
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Michael Scott: Cafe Disco is dead but I still hear the music in my head.
Creed: [walking by] I do too, boss.
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Michael Scott: An intervention, it's sort of hard to describe but really it's a coming-together-- it's a surprise party! For people, who are-- who have addictions. And you get in their face and you scream at them and you make them feel really badly about themselves. And then they stop.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate... no. But, I live by another rule: Just do it... Nike.
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