Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Jim Halpert: Hey. Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Michael Scott: We're not hiring, Jim.
Jim Halpert: Actually I'm here for something else.
Michael Scott: Listen, I can't make you laugh right now.
Jim Halpert: You know I love a good guessing game but why don't I just tell you what I'm here for.
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Michael Scott: Alan Grant, the CEO, of the company--if title's important to you--has personally invited moi, to go to New York, to the shareholders meeting. And sit up on the stage with the board of directors and at some point they are going to introduce me as... the most successful branch manager that have had. And then Michael Scott turns and waves to the crowd. And the crowd goes wild.
Andy: [doing an accurate announcer's voice] Ladies and Gentlemen, from Scranton Pennsylvania, please welcome, Michael, the Machine, Scott!
[Michael waves and sits down with a spin]
[Dwight sighs]
Pam Beesly: Don't do the twirl.
Phyllis: Lose the twril.
Dwight Shrute: Twirl sucks!
Kevin: Michael, I hated the twirl.
Andy: [still doing the voice] Hate the twirl!
Michael Scott: Ok obviously I'm not going to do the twirl I only did it because I nailed the wave.
Phyllis: Yeah, good. Don't do it.
[cut to talking head]
Michael Scott: I am not going to "do" the "twirl," alright? It's not even a twirl, it's a spin. [pause] I might do the spin.
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Michael Scott: [starting his lunch] I guess they got what they want. I am eating alone. Might as well be dinner.
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Michael Scott: Hey everybody! I just invited Jim to suck it! And I am cordgially inviting all of you to a special convention. A lonely hearts convention this afternoon. Singles only--
Dwight Schrute: Yeah! Deal with it Pam!
Michael Scott: So we may not, have someone in our lives that we love but we do have each other.
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Dwight Schrute: [pushing Michael's face into the wet cement] Force it in as deep as you can.
Michael Scott: [muffled] That's what she said.
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Michael Scott: Ok. We need, a golden ticket idea idea, to get us out of this mess.
Pam Beesly: Does that mean an idea that blows up in our faces later?
Jim Halpert: Good one.
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Michael Scott: Alright here we go. This is gonna be fun. Ready? Alright, first name is Tom.
Jan: No, no, no! No names! No rhyming! No sounds a-likes, you actually have to--
Michael Scott: Ok! Ok! You're getting into my head! First name is blank and he goes on a cruise. He goes on a Caribbean cruiseee.
Angela: I don't know.
Jim Halpert: Katie Holmes.
Michael Scott: Bahhhhhh!! But he's married to her!
Jim Halpert: Oh Dawson's Creek.
Michael Scott: No! No, it has to be a real person, Jim, come on! Ok no no I'm gonna pass. Ahh, oh ok! Um, rhymes with Parnold Sporchzenegger.
Jan: No rhyming!
Jim Halpert: No really a rhyme...
Angela: Another clue! Another clue!
Michael Scott: Alright he's the Governor of California, he is The Terminator...
Angela: Those aren't helpful--
Jim Halpert: Tom Cruise!
Michael Scott: Noo--
Andy: Time!
Michael Scott: Does anyone read the paper??
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Michael Scott: Oh, potatoe salad.
Dwight Schrute: It's from both of us.
Michael Scott: No it's not.
Hostess: Let see where we can put this...
Michael Scott: Oh, you know what you probably wanna leave the cover on until the guests get here.
[cut to interview]
Michael Scott: It's been sitting in my car, all day, with the sun beating down on the mayonaise. Just, you never know.
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Michael Scott: Why? What makes her beautiful? [about Kelly]
Ryan: [standing up] Everything. She's perfect.
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Michael Scott: Do you know any girl in New York you might... wanna hook me up with? That might be interested in a guy like me?
Ryan: No. Sorry man.
Michael Scott: Ah you tried.
Ryan: But seriously, you should see the girls I meet at clubs in the city.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Ryan: Unreal.
Michael Scott: They sound great.
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Michael Scott: This morning Danny Cordrea stole a sale from me so what do I do? I go out and I steal Danny Cordea. The that mattered, I made. Boom. Funny thing about it, we don't even need 'em. We already have Packer on the road! Crrrrap. I forgot about Packer! [exhales]
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: Holly broke up with AJ last week, which is the greatest thing that has ever happened...to me. To Holly, it's been the worst week of her life, and I know for a fact that there was a week for her in high school where she got mono and her first period ever. Too much information? That's what I thought, but here I am using it.
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