Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: Uh, Darryl will hire some kids for the warehouse. We don't have to worry about internships with them because they definitely ain't goin' to college.
Darryl: What college did you go to Mike?
Michael Scott: Let's go!
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Michael Scott: Well I am just glad this is all over.
Dwight Shrute: Oh, me too! And by the way, uh, I told her not to but she's coming over here and she's furious.
Michael Scott: What? No, she didn't say that.
Dwight Shrute: You're right. I was paraphrasing. [pulls out a notepad] What she actually said was, "What is with him. He is crazy. I'm coming over there to talk to him." And this was after I had no other recourse but to tell her, and gym security, that you had sent me there to see if she was cheating. Also, I joined the gym. You'll be billed monthly. [leaves the office]
Michael Scott: I am not paying for that membership.
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Michael Scott: Jim's a good kid, he can handle a lot. But sometimes you have to call in a master. I, uh,... Why would you date an amateur when you could date a professional.
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Michael Scott: [to Oscar] Wait! You're forgetting something...
Oscar: What?
Michael Scott: This chat. Two men. One White, one Latina. A boss and a money cruncher. I could fire you.
Erin: Fire him! [Oscar gives her a bad look] No, show mercy.
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Michael Scott: And the best way to start is to hit... Start. And up comes the toolbar. That's what she said.
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Michael Scott: I finally broke down and bought myself a plasma tv. [camera pans out to show tiny screen attached to wall] Check it out. I actually hung this, on the wall, myself. Let me show you something: A lot of people in the room, you need more space [pushes the tv back an inch against the wall] Voila. Right into the wall.
Jim Halpert: Wow. [Jim and Pam nod at each other]
Michael Scott: Sometimes I will just stand here and watch television for hours. I love it. I love this tv!
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Michael Scott: There are very few things that would make me not want to team up with David Wallace. And "Suck It" is one of 'em.
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Michael Scott: Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.
Oscar: Where?
Michael Scott: It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok.
Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that?
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Michael Scott: Look, this is very hard for me but I am going to give you my best man. You may have Toby.
Karen: Toby's not a salesperson.
Michael Scott: You can train him! He's very, very smart and funny and charming... Lehhargh! You know, I can't do it. Toby is the worst. That- that was a bluff.
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Michael Scott: Five years from now, what do you want to do?
Ryan: Uh, well, I'm interested in business.
Michael Scott: Oh, good. Ambitious. Excellent. You want to be a manager?
Ryan: Ah, actually no, uh, what I want is to own my own company.
Michael Scott: [matter-of-factly] That is ridiculous.
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Dwight Schrute: Are you gonna discipline him or not?
Michael Scott: Oooh, discipline! Kinky!
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Michael Scott [to camera] It's not just a day for Jim and Pam, or for the baby, or for me. It's about all of us. And I thought that we should all celebrate my joy, and our joy, and all of our joys.
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