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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Michael Scott Quotes

Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: Everybody in here stat. No time to lose. CRIMAN Squa F and C double time.
Dwight Schrute: CRIMAN Squa?
Michael Scott: Crisis management squad.
Ryan: F and C, double time?
Michael Scott: Front and center, twice as fast as you would normally go. Any other questions?
Jim Halpert: One more. Why are you talking like that?
Michael Scott: To save time, Jim.
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Michael Scott: You guys should come over for dinner. You and Pam, that'd be fun. Friday? Wanna come over Friday?
Jim Halpert: Aw.. can't.
Michael Scott: After work, you can?
Jim Halpert: Oh no... 'cause-- [pause] You're gonna let me know when we're close right?
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Michael Scott: Scotch and Splenda: Tastes like Splenda, gets you drunk like scotch!
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Michael Scott: In my opinion the third date is traditionally the one where.. you have sex. Does Holly feel that way? I don't know. I will probably find out tonight. If she starts having sex with me I'll know for sure.
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Michael Scott: I didn't hire an ex-convict. Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist.
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Michael Scott: Jim, you're next. Who would you do?
Jim Halpert: Ummm... Kevin, hands down. Yeah, he's really got that teddy bear thing going on, and afterwards we could, just watch bowling.
Michael Scott: Well I'd definitely have sex with Ryan.
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Michael Scott: So did you hear the news?
Pam Beasley: The news that you just announced?
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Michael Scott: It's not been a blockbuster year for me financially. My Blockbuster stock is down.
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Michael Scott: We can't just sit around waiting for Creed to die.
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Michael Scott: Heads I do it, tails I don't. Best out of seven. (In a bad-ass scratchy voice) Looks like there's gonna be a clean-up on aisle five.
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Kevin: Why did you get it so big?
Michael Scott: A. That's what she said, and B. I wanted it to be impressive, biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year.
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Michael Scott: I will be honest with you, that car ride did not go well. And that was not my fault. The only reason I am standing out here right now is because I don't want to take the elevator with her. And I'm holding onto her leftovers. [throws leftovers in trash]
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