Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: I hate it! I hate it. I don't hate it, I just don't like it. At all. And it's terrible.
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Jim Halpert: Nothing much, what's up with you?
Pam Beesly: I cannot believe I fell for that. [laughs]
Michael Scott: [walks in] What? Where's the funny? Give it to me.
Jim Halpert: Um, is it just me, or does it smell like up-dog in here?
Michael Scott: What's up-dog?
Jim Halpert: Nothing much, what's up with you?
Michael Scott: Oh, oh, wow! I walked right into that. Oh, that's brilliant!
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Michael Scott What the hell are they talking about?
Dwight Schrute Hmm... Kevin and Gabe. Probably about the extremes of the human physique.
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Michael Scott: Come here. [talking about Pam] I would never say this to her face, but she is a wonderful person and a gifted artist.
Oscar: What? Why wouldn't you say that to her face?
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Michael Scott: Right here, we have the wonder twins, Jim and Pam Halpert. They will be assisting you today.
Donna: You look exactly alike!
Pam Halpert: Oh, no! We're actually married, we're not brother and sister.
Donna: I have a sense about these things.
Jim Halpert: Alright!
Donna: You have some ancestors in common... somewhere back!
Angela: I knew it! You should see their baby.
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Michael Scott: That is a 200 dollar plasma TV you've just killed. Good luck paying me back on your zero dollars a month plus benefits salary, babe!
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Michael Scott: It's not been a blockbuster year for me financially. My Blockbuster stock is down.
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Andy: Mr. Todd! Mr. Todd! I found her!
Sweeny Todd: You found Johanna.
Andy: That monster of a judge [Andy's phone starts ringing] Has locked her... [keeps ringing] Locked her away...
Sweeny Todd: There's a little bird fluttering around. Do hope it ceases, chirping.
[the audience laughs]
Michael Scott: How is that funny?
Sweeny Todd: The bird continues to call. Someone please turn off your... Bird. Oh, for the love of--turn your phone off! There are signs!
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Michael Scott: Hey Jim, I thought that we would be desk buddies while they changed my carpet.
Jim Halpert: That might be a little difficult with the one computer.
Michael Scott: Uh, doesn't...
Jim Halpert: There's definitely a desk open in the back.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Jim Halpert: Which I guess I'll be taking.
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Michael Scott: Never, ever sleep with your boss. I am so lucky that Jan and I only got to second base.
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Rose: Ok. You didn't maintain a hundred beats per minute. And the ambulance didn't arrive because no body called 911. So you lost 'em.
Dwight Schrute: Ok. He's dead. Anyone know what we do next? Anybody? Rose?
Rose: I have no idea.
Phyllis: We bury him.
Dwight Schrute: Wrong. Check for an organ donor card. If he has one we only have minutes to harvest.
Creed: He has no wallet, I checked.
Michael Scott: He is an organ donor.
Dwight Schrute: [excitedly] He is? Give me some ice in a Styrofoam bucket. [removes a hunting knife from his ankle and cuts open the dummy] We search for the organs! [digging around inside] Where's the heart? The precious heart.
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Michael Scott: I looked at Wallace and I said, "I quit." And as I turned to leave, I looked back and I said, "you have no idea how high I can fly."
Stanley: You didn't tell him how sick of him you were?
Michael Scott: Why would I do that?
Angela: Well wouldn't it feel good to tell him he's incompetant or...
Kevin: That he's wasted fifteen years of your life.
Meredith: Maybe spit in his face.
Michael Scott: You guys have thought about this a lot more than I have. I just.. winged it.
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