Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Dwight Schrute: Please? I'm always the guy you rely on at work.
Michael Scott: Well this isn't about work. This is closing on a condo. It's completely personal.
Dwight Schrute: So you're taking a personal day?
Michael Scott: Ahem-- Except that. It's about my living arrangement, and as boss, I need to have a living arrangement in order to do work.
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Michael Scott: [voiceover to shots of Michael running out of the building] Yes it is a thrill, to be honored, by one's company. To have the people that you work for stop for a minute and say, wow, great job. That's what it's about.
Executive: [cut to the meeting] HE can take the bus. He's HAD his limo ride.
Michael Scott: [voiceover] That is what it is all about. Not the perks. The perks, I could take or leave the perks. But, limos, are for people who make the company money, not lose millions and have no plan. So we're leaving early.
Michael Scott: [jumping in the limo] Go go go go!
Michael Scott: [voiceover] After all, we are the only ones with anything to celebrate.
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Dwight Schrute: [talking about their plans at Prince Family Paper] Then we meet at the Denny's and we compare notes.
Michael Scott: No. No, I never said Denny's. IHOP.
Dwight Schrute: No. I said Denny's you know how I feel about IHOP
Michael Scott: Ohh don't start--
Dwight Schrute: Socialist.
Michael Scott: I don't-- I don't want to get into this debate again--
Dwight Schrute: Ok...
Michael Scott: I enjoy IHOP.
Dwight Schrute: ...I'll have a cup of coffee.
Michael Scott: You will have pancakes and you'll like it.
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Michael Scott: Now I know what the founders of Phillip Morris felt like. You just wanna give people a smooth, fun way to relax, and suddenly you're just some terrible monster.
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Michael Scott: This morning Danny Cordrea stole a sale from me so what do I do? I go out and I steal Danny Cordea. The that mattered, I made. Boom. Funny thing about it, we don't even need 'em. We already have Packer on the road! Crrrrap. I forgot about Packer! [exhales]
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Michael Scott: What's going on? Do we have a deal? Deal or no deal. Let's make a deal. So what is the deal?
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Michael Scott: Ok, so dig this. You're on the street, and one of your gang disses you.
Darryl: Oh my goodness.
Michael Scott: Yeah. Right. So what do you do to get 'em to make it right?
Darryl: Well see, um, in a gang world, we use something called fluffy fingers.
Michael Scott: What is that?
Darryl: That's when someone really gets in your face, you know you just, start ticklin' 'em.
Michael Scott: [pause] Really?
Darryl: Yeah. And he starts tickling you. And pretty soon you laughing and hugging. Before you know it, you've forgotten the whole thing. Y'all just go to church together, and get an ice cream cone.
Michael Scott: I would have never though that.. gangs would be tickling each other.
Darryl: Oh. It's effective.
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Michael Scott: Could you write down the number to that rehabilitation center you mentioned?
Toby: Sure. Wow. [hands it to Michael]
[Michael flicks the pen at Toby's forehead]
Toby: Ow.
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Michael Scott: Corporate has given Dwight two strikes. They are very, very upset with him. So, as a disciplinary measure, he is going to have to issue a formal apology. Dwight, have you prepared your statement of regret?
Dwight Schrute: I have.
Michael Scott: Let's hear it.
Dwight Schrute: [unfolds piece of paper and reads from it] I state my regret.
Jim Halpert: You couldn't have memorized that?
Dwight Schrute: I could not because I do not feel it.
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Michael Scott: Everyone, guys. Circle up, please. Come on over. Bring your chairs. Toby, come on over. You're a guy... too. Sort of.
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Michael Scott: Hey, hey. What are you doing?
Oscar: Michael I didn't ask to come up here.
Michael Scott: Wow, man. That--
Oscar: What!
Michael Scott: That was embarrassing.
Oscar: For me!
Michael Scott: For me too! You embarrassed me.
Oscar: You-- [gets frustrated and walks away]
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: We're like Friends. I am Chandler, and Joey, and uh, Pam is Rachel, and Dwight is... Kramer.
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