Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: You've been X Punk'd! We were kidding! And, Ryan, Ryan, he was in on it...
Pam Beasley: You're a jerk!
Michael Scott: Well, I don't know about that...
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Michael Scott: You know what would help is a pros and cons list for our options. Jim don't take this the wrong way. Are you going to take this the wrong way?
Jim Halpert: It's hard to tell so far.
Michael Scott: You use your brain too much.
Jim Halpert: I'm sorry are you advocating that I use it less?
Michael Scott: Sometimes the smartest people don't think at all.
Jim Halpert: You just came up with that.
Michael Scott: As I was saying it.
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Michael Scott: Am I worried that Jim and David are having a meeting without me? No. Because we are the three amigos. And once in a while, one of the amigos will go off, to the bathroom, while the other two have a secret meeting.
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Michael Scott: Hey, what time is it?
Pam Beasley: Twenty past five.
Michael Scott: A.M. or P.M.?
Pam Beasley: P.M.
Michael Scott: Oh good.
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Michael Scott: Every year my sweet, sweet grandmother sends me a check on my birthday for fifty dollars. And lately she has been sending me like nine or 10 checks a year, uh, as Nana starts to... but I knew I should be saving it for something, I just didn't know what I should be saving it for. And then I had an awakening. Michael, buy a motorcycle. I put the money in my shoe, and then I forgot about it until now.
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Michael Scott [to camera] There's nothing classier than boring jazz music. He was cheaper. What's better, hiring an entire quartet for half an hour or one bassist for an entire day?
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Jim Halpert: Listen Michael, I really... I did text Pam, but...
Michael Scott: I know, it's okay. Just, give her a hug. Alright?
Jim Halpert: [shakes Michael's hand] I will see you, tomorrow at lunch.
Michael Scott: I am looking forward to lunch. And hearing about what a great boss I am.
Jim Halpert: [chuckles] You got it.
Michael Scott: Okay... [crosses Jim off his list]
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Michael Scott: Oh I am taking responsibility. And it is up to me, to get rid of the curse, that hit Meredith, with my care. I am not superstitious, but I'm a little 'stitious.
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Jim Halpert: What happened to you?
Michael Scott: Captain jack has a problem with authority.
Jim Halpert: Oh, right, 'cause you announced that his ship was sinking.
Michael Scott: He just totally lost it. If you ask me he caused the panic.
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Michael Scott: That was a little touch-and-go at first, but we saved it, I believe.
Jim Halpert: I can't believe it was me.
Michael Scott: I know. I can't believe it was you, either. I actually think it takes a lot of pressure off of me.
Jim Halpert: Is there something about being a manager that makes you say stupid things?
Michael Scott: I have not found that to be the case.
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Michael Scott: Yeah I went hunting once. Shot a deer in the leg. Had to kill it with a shovel. Took about an hour. Why do you ask?
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Dwight Schrute: Where are we going?
Jim Halpert: Get inside.
Dwight Schrute: Where are we going?
Jim Halpert: We're going to Chuck E. Cheese.
Michael Scott: Chuck E. Cheese? Oh god, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.
Jim Halpert: We're going to the hospital, Michael.
Michael Scott: I know, just saying.
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