Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: You said you were leaving and you made liars out of all of us.
Toby: I did leave.
Michael Scott: Yes. You did. And then you came back. Which makes you the biggest liar of the history.
Toby: I don't see it that way.
Michael Scott: You wanna hear a lie?
Toby: What?
Michael Scott: I... think you're great. You're my best friend.
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Michael Scott: I want this to be an event that everyone talks about always and forever.
Jim Halpert: Totally reasonable.
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Michael Scott: Doctor, what is more serious, a head injury or a foot injury?
Doctor A head injury.
Michael Scott: Well, you don't have all the information. The foot has been fairly severely burned, and healed quickly, very quickly. Actually, like, suspiciously quickly.
Doctor [to Dwight] So I'm ordering a CAT scan.
Dwight Schrute: What is that?
Michael Scott: Look, since you have the machine up and running, can I just stick my foot in? We can take a look.
Doctor Well, for a burn, you really just need to look at the outside of the foot.
Michael Scott: Okay, what kind of machine is that?
Doctor Does the skin look red and swollen?
Dwight Schrute: That's what she said.
Michael Scott: That's my joke. Damn it, Dwight.
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Michael Scott: There are ten rules of business that you need to learn. Number one: You need to play to win. But, you also have to.. win, to play.
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Michael Scott: Okay, everybody, I am out of here. Jim, you are in charge.
Jim Halpert: Oh, I'll walk you out. [grabbing coat and bag]
Michael Scott: Ah, you are quite the gentleman. [outside] You can let people go a couple minutes early if you want.
Jim Halpert: Alright, we'll see. [to camera, as Michael walks away] No. I am off to New York. My brother Pete from Boston and my brother Tom from Jersey are taking Pam and I out for lunch, to celebrate the engagement. Or maybe to beat me up. I can never tell with those two.
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Michael Scott: Everyone, guys. Circle up, please. Come on over. Bring your chairs. Toby, come on over. You're a guy... too. Sort of.
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Dwight Schrute: Back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries but more common than wrist injuries.
Michael Scott: I don't need a history lesson ok?
Dwight Schrute: What do you think history is?
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Michael Scott: You guys are acting like you all own this place. And you don't. Not even Sabre owns this place it's a rental.
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Michael Scott: You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded.
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Michael Scott: Christmas is awesome. First of all, you get to spend time with people you love. Secondly, you can get drunk and no one can say anything. Third, you give presents. What's better than giving presents? And fourth, getting presents. So, four things. Not bad for one day. It's really the greatest day of all time.
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Michael Scott: Hey you want some Espresso?
Erin: Oh yeah.
Michael Scott: Gotta keep yourself dehydrated.
Erin: That's rule number one!
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: Alright, since I am the boss I will drive as well. Who wants shotgun?
Oscar: You can't be serious. You ran a woman over this morning.
Michael Scott: Everybody inside the car was fine, Stanley.
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