The Office Season 2 Quotes - Conflict Resolution
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
39
likes
like
| Jim Halpert: | Dwight tried to kiss me. |
| Michael Scott: | What? |
| Jim Halpert: | And I didn't tell anyone because I'm not really sure how I feel about it. |
| Dwight Schrute: | That is not true. Redact it. Redact it! |
| Jim Halpert: | Well, I'm not actually making a formal complaint. I just really think we should talk about it. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
36
likes
like
| Dwight Schrute: | ID badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at sixty pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged? |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
33
likes
like
| Jim Halpert: | This came out really well. There you go. [hands Dwight his new ID] |
| Dwight Schrute: | This is humongous, I am not a security threat. And my middle name is Kurt, not Fart. |
| Jim Halpert: | What did I write? |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
32
likes
like
| Michael Scott: | Ok, Ryan, you told Toby that Creed has a distinct old man smell. |
| [cut to interview] | |
| Creed: | I know exactly what he's talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious, but they smell like death. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
31
likes
like
| Michael Scott: | Someone complained that the men's room is whites only. Stanley, you know that's not true. |
| Stanley: | I didn't say that. |
| Creed: | Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door? |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
12
likes
like
| Michael Scott: | Cage matches? Yeah, they work. How could they not work? If they didn't work, everybody would still be in the cage. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
6
likes
like
| Michael Scott | [reading] "This morning, I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder. I think he may be the real murderer." [flips to another paper] "Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the woman's room. When I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can." Gah. "This morning, I knocked myself in the head with the phone." |
| Jim Halpert | [cuts to camera] That actually took a while. I had to put, uh, more and more nickels into his handset, till he got used to the weight, and then I just... took 'em all out. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
5
likes
like
| Michael Scott | [reads] "By the end of the day, my desk was about two feet closer to the copier." |
| Jim Halpert | [cut to talking head] Yeah, I just moved it an inch every time he went to the bathroom. And that's how I spent my entire day that day. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
4
likes
like
| Michael Scott | Okay, so Dwight, in your own words - [reads from complaint paper] "Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons. I suspect Jim Halpert." [flips to another paper] "Everyone has called me 'Dwayne' all day. I think Jim Halpert paid them to." |
| Jim Halpert | [cuts to camera] Yes! Five bucks each and it was totally worth it. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
4
likes
like
| Michael Scott | [reading] "Every time I typed my name, it said 'Diapers'." |
| Jim Halpert | [cut to camera] Just a simple macro. You know, these actually don't sound that funny one after another. But he does deserve it, though. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
2
likes
like
| Michael Scott: | Here is a Kelly complaint: "Ryan never returns my calls". Ugh, join the club. |
Clock-in to vote or Register with Human Resources if you're not signed up!
5 Comments in the Conference Room