Warning: session_start(): open(/home/office/public_html/tmp/sess_ade0aecb76877fa9c619a192b997e1a4, O_RDWR) failed: Permission denied (13) in /home/office/public_html/index.php on line 9 The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 2 - Conflict Resolution
ID badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at sixty pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
[reading] "This morning, I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder. I think he may be the real murderer." [flips to another paper] "Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the woman's room. When I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can." Gah. "This morning, I knocked myself in the head with the phone."
[cuts to camera] That actually took a while. I had to put, uh, more and more nickels into his handset, till he got used to the weight, and then I just... took 'em all out.
Okay, so Dwight, in your own words - [reads from complaint paper] "Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons. I suspect Jim Halpert." [flips to another paper] "Everyone has called me 'Dwayne' all day. I think Jim Halpert paid them to."
[cuts to camera] Yes! Five bucks each and it was totally worth it.
The Office Quotes is a fan site dedicated to NBC's The Office. It includes the best quotes from The Office, voted on by fans. Registered users can share favorite quotes and more through their own fan profile.
Please link back to TheOfficeQuotes.com when using content from this site!
Warning: Unknown: open(/home/office/public_html/tmp/sess_ade0aecb76877fa9c619a192b997e1a4, O_RDWR) failed: Permission denied (13) in Unknown on line 0
Warning: Unknown: Failed to write session data (files). Please verify that the current setting of session.save_path is correct (/home/office/public_html/tmp) in Unknown on line 0