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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 6 - Stakeholder Meeting

The Office Season 6 Quotes - Stakeholder Meeting

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  • Conference Room (11 Comments)
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19
likes
Jim Halpert: I gotta make an example out of him. Should I just fire him?
Pam Beesly: Can you actually fire people?
Jim Halpert: To be honest I don't know. But maybe I could just yell at him in front of people.
Pam Beesly: Well, I can't really imagine you yelling at anyone.
Jim Halpert: Oh I yell. You've heard me yell.
Pam Beesly: Oh okay. I've heard you exclaim? Like, the time you said, "Hey look! We parked over here!"
Jim Halpert: Well that was apple-picking day. There was no need to yell that day. You know I was just excited to find the car. Perfect end to a perfect day.
Pam Beesly: Well. You'll figure it out.
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17
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Dwight Shrute: What kind of mileage does this baby get?
Erin: It's like what high school kids take to prom on tv shows.
Oscar: So typical of management to spend money on this. Ugh, bunch of boobs.
Michael Scott: Hate to break it to you Oscar, but some of us like boobs.
Dwight Shrute: Calves. [raises hand] Calves all the way.
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15
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Michael Scott: Alan Grant, the CEO, of the company--if title's important to you--has personally invited moi, to go to New York, to the shareholders meeting. And sit up on the stage with the board of directors and at some point they are going to introduce me as... the most successful branch manager that have had. And then Michael Scott turns and waves to the crowd. And the crowd goes wild.
Andy: [doing an accurate announcer's voice] Ladies and Gentlemen, from Scranton Pennsylvania, please welcome, Michael, the Machine, Scott!
[Michael waves and sits down with a spin]
[Dwight sighs]
Pam Beesly: Don't do the twirl.
Phyllis: Lose the twril.
Dwight Shrute: Twirl sucks!
Kevin: Michael, I hated the twirl.
Andy: [still doing the voice] Hate the twirl!
Michael Scott: Ok obviously I'm not going to do the twirl I only did it because I nailed the wave.
Phyllis: Yeah, good. Don't do it.
[cut to talking head]
Michael Scott: I am not going to "do" the "twirl," alright? It's not even a twirl, it's a spin. [pause] I might do the spin.
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12
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Jim Halpert: I just figured you needed a place where you could concentrate. And not be bothered by... bothering people.
Ryan: Ok.
Jim Halpert: Let me show you what I mean. [opens supply closet] Your new office. How great is that, right? For a job well done, well, not done.
Ryan: I will, uh, I will do my work, right now. I will stay late tonight.
Jim Halpert: Right.
Ryan: Um, I-- very sorry. About everything.
Jim Halpert: [laughs and slaps Ryan on the shoulder] You're a good kid. You know what it gets bigger once you're in there. [slams door and walks away] Enjoy it.
Ryan: Is there internet?
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11
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Dwight Shrute: I was hoping to lob Michael a softball question early. I wanted to swing by the garment district; pick up a few crates of my shirts. [to camera] I got a shirt guy.
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10
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Oscar: I just want to take this stupid board of directors by their necks. [imitating strangling] This. Is. So. Simple!
Andy: Yeah. Well you should do that. Get in line.
Oscar: Oh what a great idea, and loose my job. No thank you.
Andy: Look. Do you want to be able to tell your grandkids, you stood up for yourself, during America's biggest financial crisis.
[beat]
Dwight Shrute: How is he going to have grandkids.
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10
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Woman in line: I'm just going to run to the bathroom. Will you save my place?
Man: Sure.
Dwight Shrute: No, he will not.
Woman in line: Excuse me?
Dwight Shrute: I'm sorry, were you raised in a household with no consequences?
Woman in line: It'll just be a second.
Dwight Shrute: Ohhh. "If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!"
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10
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CEO: The gentleman in the, uh, glasses [motions to Dwight at microphone]
Dwight Shrute: Dwight Schrute, Scranton branch. I just wanted to say that I have been standing in this line all day. And if this line, is any indication of how this company is being run, then we are in BIG trouble! [loud applause from the shareholders] Thank you! Right, I know! And I just want to say that I believe there are options out there! A take a number option, like they have in a deli. [clapping stops] What about line varieties? Like an express line, for quick comments, ten words or less. They could move, MUCH more efficiently. [silence] What about ropes, along the lines that you can hold on to?
CEO: Thank you. Thank you for your suggestions.
Dwight Shrute: Yes. [walks away content]
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8
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Oscar: The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is D.M.I. Do you know what that stands for? Dummies, Morons, and Idiots because that's what you'd have to be to own it. And as one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers.
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8
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Andy: I've always been the guy who can rally other people to rebel. In high school, I organized a walk out over standardized testing. Got over 500 students to just skip the SATs. At the last second I chickened out, took it anyway got a twelve twenty. Always regretted it... I feel lachrymose.
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8
likes
Ryan: Do you love her, or do you love the idea of her.
Creed: I don't know man. I just don't know.
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8
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CEO: Well ok, we're gonna take a fifteen minute break and then, we're gonna answer more questions.
Shareholder 1: You haven't said anything yet and we're headed for bankruptcy! [loud agreement from the crowd]
Michael Scott: Yeah well that's not gonna happen. That's not gonna happen. We'll be back with some answers.
Shareholder 2: What? What answers?
Michael Scott: I-- ok-- I know, that you're made at me and you're mad at all of them.
Shareholder 3: How are you going to fix the company! [loud cheers of agreement from the shareholders]
Michael Scott: Alright. We are gonna-- we are gonna go out there, during this break, and we are gonna come back with a plan. We're gonna come back with a plan for you. It's a forty-five day plan. Forty-five days! To get us back, on track. [some claps in the audience] Forty-five points! It's a forty-five day, forty-five point; one point per day. We get forty-five points, we're back in business! [walks away to loud cheers from the shareholders]
Michael Scott: [returns to the mic] And you can take that to the bank! [more cheering] And limo lady! We are going completely carbon-neutral! [the room erupts] I love you New York! [walks off-stage then runs back for an encore, enthusiastically pointing to the audience] You! You!
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8
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Michael Scott: Well. [sits down] That was a waste, of a text. Let's get down to brass tacks. I think that we might be in trouble. We don't seem to have a plan, so I'm thinking I go down there maybe rattle off a few jokes. The Congressman could follow?
CEO: He's our best manager? Where's the off button on this moron?
Michael Scott: Uhh. I'm not a moron. Time after time, my branch, leads in sales. I have personally won over seventeen Dundie awards so I am not a moron. And, I'm just trying to help, you know? So... you're the moron.
[long, terrible pause]
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7
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Michael Scott: [voiceover to shots of Michael running out of the building] Yes it is a thrill, to be honored, by one's company. To have the people that you work for stop for a minute and say, wow, great job. That's what it's about.
Executive: [cut to the meeting] HE can take the bus. He's HAD his limo ride.
Michael Scott: [voiceover] That is what it is all about. Not the perks. The perks, I could take or leave the perks. But, limos, are for people who make the company money, not lose millions and have no plan. So we're leaving early.
Michael Scott: [jumping in the limo] Go go go go!
Michael Scott: [voiceover] After all, we are the only ones with anything to celebrate.
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6
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Andy: I'M SO JEALOUS RIGHT NOW!!
Michael Scott: Hey, you know who you shouldn't be jealous of. Yourself. Because YOUR invited, and YOUR invited, and YOUR invited, and you, and you and you and you, and you--
Limo driver: Car seats eight.
Michael Scott: What?
Limo driver: The car seats eight.
Michael Scott: The limo seats eight.
Michael Scott: Ok. Then Jim and Pam. And Ryan plus a guest.
Jim and Pam together: No thanks.
Ryan: I'll use it when you're done.
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6
likes
Andy: Michael, what if somebody asks you a question at this meeting? Are you just going to wave or what--
Michael Scott: I will have to answer!
Dwight Shrute: I'll ask you a question!
Andy: Make it a softball. Something he can, like, crank out of the park.
Dwight Shrute: "Michael Scott, you run the most profitable branch of Dunder Mifflin. How do you do it?"
Michael Scott: No! No! That's too hard. Say! "Your name is Zamboni." And then I will say, "Well! We sort of on thin ice"
Andy: Hi-yo! [everyone in the limo is laughing]
Michael Scott: I won't say that I'll say something like that!
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6
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Attendant: Mr. Scott?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Attendant: I'm Lori.
Michael Scott: Oh hi.
Attendant: Thank you for joining us! Come with me.
Michael Scott: Well thank you. And, and please call m--continue to call me Mr. Scott.
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6
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Michael Scott: Alright. Well, I know a guy. This Mexican guy, he's a math wiz. He knows economics as well as he knows bullfighting and I am going to call in a little favour.
David Wallace: No-no-no-no, don't call anybody, Michael.
Michael Scott: Well I'm texting him, so.
David Wallace: Please do not text anybody now, Michael.
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5
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Michael Scott: I wish the windows weren't tinted so people could see us in here.
Andy: Hey you guys do you think anyone might have had sex in here?
Michael and Dwight together: Definitely, definitely! / Smells like it!
Michael Scott: Look! They got pillows. [points to bench seat] That! That's bigger than my bed.
[driver starts closing partition]
Michael Scott: Who's playing with the button?
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4
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Michael Scott: Hey, hey. What are you doing?
Oscar: Michael I didn't ask to come up here.
Michael Scott: Wow, man. That--
Oscar: What!
Michael Scott: That was embarrassing.
Oscar: For me!
Michael Scott: For me too! You embarrassed me.
Oscar: You-- [gets frustrated and walks away]
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3
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Michael Scott: A town car is something a company sends when they are in trouble. A limo is something they send when there is cause for celebration. In this case I believe they are celebrating ... me.
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0
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Oscar: The long term problem is bad investments, that they need to dump. The short term problem is the company has no cash and there's no where to get it.
Michael Scott: Okay, Oscar. I don't need the whole enchilada just the bullet points.
11 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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