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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 3 - The Coup

The Office Season 3 Quotes - The Coup

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  • Conference Room (4 Comments)
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40
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Michael Scott: Sounds like a good dentist. What's his name?
[long pause]
Dwight Schrute: ... Crentist.
Michael Scott: Your dentist's name is Crentist.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah.
Michael Scott: Haa... Sounds a lot like 'dentist.'
Dwight Schrute: Maybe that's why he became a dentist.
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36
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Michael Scott: Business is like a jungle. And I am like a tiger. And Dwight is like a monkey that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch? Pun. There is no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger's head. We don't have the technology.
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34
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Jim Halpert: We didn't play many video games in Scranton. Instead we'd do stuff like.. uh, Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high pitched note and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor. And, uh, Pam called it... Pretendinitis.
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31
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Michael Scott: 'Hug it out, bitch.' That is what men say to each other after a fight. They hug it out, and in doing so they just let it go, and walk away, and they're done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman, however, I have found. It doesn't translate.
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27
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Jan: How would a movie increase productivity, Michael? How on earth would it do that?
Michael Scott: People work faster after.
Jan: Magically.
Michael Scott: No. They have to, to make up for the time they lost watching the movie.
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26
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Dwight Schrute: Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan's been bitching out on him. Reject a woman and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.
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24
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Andy: Saboteur! I'm going to kill you for real. This game-- the game is over. I'm really going to shoot you.
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20
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Dwight Schrute: [to Jan on the phone] Pull over at exit 40. There is a Liz Claiborne outlet. I know you like that store. Go inside and shop until I can meet you.
Jan: How do you know I like that store?
Dwight Schrute: Many of your blouses are Claibornes.
Jan: How do you know that?
Dwight Schrute: It's part of my job.
Jan: No, it's not. It's officially, not.
Dwight Schrute: Noted.
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17
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Josh: We just need a strategy, okay? We're gonna set up a trap in the gun room. Alright, Jim, are you using the MP-40 or the 44?
Jim Halpert: Um, sniper rifle?
Josh: Snipe-
Andy: What!?
Josh: Jim! In Caren-
Andy: Are you playing for the other team?
Josh: You don't snipe in Carenton, okay?
Andy: Saboteur! Saboteur!
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17
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[Creed is staring at Pam and her new clothes]
Pam Beasley: What?
Creed: I'm just looking.
Pam Beasley: Please go back to your desk.
Creed: In a minute.
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14
likes
Andy: What did you do that?
Jim Halpert: I'm just killing Germans any way I can.
Andy: We're on the German team. Shoot the British!
Jim Halpert: Wait, are we playing teams?
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14
likes
Dwight Schrute: Not everyone approves of Movie Monday. I won't say who.
[cut to Angela]
Angela: I don't approve. I don't.
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14
likes
Pam: I have this old vacuum cleaner that's broken. If Dwight doesn't work out, maybe that could be manager.
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12
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Stanley: But, why Dwight?
Michael Scott: Because Dwight never lies.
Stanley: How does that qualify him to run a branch?
Michael Scott: Because that's all it takes.
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10
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Angela: I know that patience and loyalty are good and virtuous traits but sometimes I just think you need to grow a pair.
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10
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Kelly: Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!
Pam Beasley: No...
Kelly: [clapping her hands] Fashion show fashion show fashion show at lunch! Fashion show fashion show fashion show at lunch!
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9
likes
Dwight Schrute: Oh. By the way, there's a new Anne Taylor outlet store near here. I know you like their earings.
Jan: ...Where is it?
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8
likes
Karen: Call of Duty!!
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8
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Jan: Hello.
Dwight Schrute: Is this Jan?
Jan: Who is this?
Dwight Schrute: This is Dwight Schrute. [Jan sighs] I am calling about an extremely sensitive matter--
Jan: You should talk to Michael and he'll talk to me and that way we don't have to speak to eachother.
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7
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Dwight Schrute: Did you get anything good?
Jan: Yeah.
Dwight Schrute: New blouse? Halter top? Camisole? Teddy?
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7
likes
Dwight Schrute: I'll do your laundry for a month! For a year!
Michael Scott: I have a laundry machine!
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5
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Michael Scott: Yep. Yep, we hugged it out. But, it turns out I was still a little angry. So I felt I needed to punish him just a little bit more. And I'm making him do my laundry for a year.
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1
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Kelly: [to Roy] Isn't that like your third soda today?
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1
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Michael Scott: Entourage!
4 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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