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Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist. Because, I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.
Hey Pam, all this stuff with Kevin, um, it's pretty scary. And I'm thinking, uh, the next time you're in the shower, you should check yourself out. You know, give yourself an exam. Those things are like ticking time bags. Alright? Think about it.
Yeah, I've been pretty much skating my whole life. I thought about playing in the NHL, but you're on the road so much, you have no time to spend with your wife and kids. And I really want a wife and kids.
When I was seven, my mother hired a pony and a cart to come to my house for all the kids. And I got a really bad rash. From the pony. And all the kids got to ride the pony. And I had to go inside, and my mother was rubbing cream on me, for probably three hours, and I never came outside. And by the time I got out, the pony was already in the truck and around the corner. So that was my worst birthday.
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